Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/August 14, 2024
Cars transport people from point A to point B and on weekends to point C. They provide protection against lions and can also be used to run over schoolchildren, filthy kaffir, and other small mammals. They are the number one source of polluting the air and eating up natural resources, which is pretty useful for trolling Greenpeace. Cars are the leading cause of death for Rob Levin✡.
Speaking of death, automobiles are the single most destructive piece of machinery ever conceived of by mankind. Resulting in nearly fifty thousand deaths every single year just within the United States alone. Worldwide the automobile has resulted in the hilarious slaughter of countless, untold millions since its inception and the death toll continues to spiral out of control. It is very possible that automobiles were in fact specifically designed and created as a form of "population control", which would explain ever increasing speed limits and the overall media blackout regarding the absolutely insane death toll behind them.
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