Drakengard

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Drakengard is the result of acid trip gone too far. It is a crappy dynasty warrior rip off that have you walk from point A to point B. The story contains the edgiest shit known to man. This retarded game is known for having multiple shitty ending that are either fucked up or made no sense. The infamous ending from the 1st game have your hero, cross the dimension to modern japan, fighting some evil statue with artificial difficult rhythm mini game only to get shot down by some kamikaze Japanese air force.

So who wrote this shit

behold, the lord of edginess and autism.

The retard responsible for writing this shit name Yoko Taro, is known for writing his story backward and have his sock puppet doing the interview. He also hates children so much that he had a Caim kill a bunch of kids in the game. If that is not enough, you can switch to the pedophile and have him cast magic to kill even more children. If that isn't enough, you can read his 3 crappy manga. One of the manga is about a bunch retarded japanese high schooler with psychic ability slaughtered by muslims in Afghanistan.

get ready for the plot, oh boy

Drakengard 1

Your hero, Caim, is but an edgy mute that want nothing but fucking his dragon and murder people with his big sword. Your party members includes an incest sister, blind pedophile priest, baby eating elf cunt and a man child who can never grow up. Their goal is to stop some creepy man voice loli who is controlled by giant naked flying baby that eat human.

Characters:

Caim - Your typical JRPG hero with more grimdark and edginess. He had a hard life because he was a prince and he lost his parents and kingdom to a nigger dragon. His inability to speak is caused after married his dragon bitch just to get an anime power level, but is just poor attempt for Yoko Taro to not write any dialogue for him. A pretty cool guy who kills children, kicking people and doesn't afraid of anything.

Furaie - Useless bitch who wants nothing more than Caim's dick. Cocks blocks Inuart. Become an heroine in End C after Manah trolls her by telling everyone she is a incest slut.

Inuart - Naive retard fool by Manah to kill people because he has hate boner against Caim for NTR Furaie.

Leonard - The fucking pedophile priest. He survived a firestorm that killed his family by going after children to fuck. He lost his eye after married to an annoying faerie then joined Caim on a journey of genocide and child killing. Has power to turn himself a holy nulcear bomb. Be very afraid of pedophile priest.

Arioch - Crazy elf bitch who eat children because elf are the evilest creature in drakengard. Joined Caim to eat more babies.

Manah - LALALALA LALALALALA A LOVE CRUSH. LIKE A MACE.

Seereh - Manah's brother who can't grow up. Has the ability to erase time forever. King Crimson just called, he want his power back.

Angelus - Caim's dragon. Sounds like a fucking Granny.

Drakengard 2

While the first game mentioned above sounds as retarded as fuck, the retard at SE say fuck that and remove all the shit in the sequel and replaced it with some mary sue faggot name Nowe, who is the fusion of the incest sister and some faggot while having the blood of a dragon.

Drakengard 3

Luckily, SE being the fucking genius they are release the 3rd game with most of the lulz from the 1st game. This game takes place before drakengard 1. You gets to play as a cursing cunt call Zero, who rapes an mentally challenged dragon name Mikhail while flying around the world, killing her 5 retarded sister and stealing their sex slave. To get deeper than that, Zero is the one who shit out of her sister from her cunt that they decided to conquer the world by singing. To get even deeper than that, it was some sort of evil flower that raped Zero thus gave birth to the five sisters. The flower was apparently create by the god to troll human kind because human are a bunch of shitty cunt that does nothing but editing this shitty article and masturbate. The flower also gives Zero and the 5 sister sailor moon power that by singing they could mind fuck people for their own purpose, which is why they are the "intoners", a group of demi-god sluts that are will by the flower to conquer the world. The intoners apparently needs sex to charge up their magic power, making them greek gods, especially Aphrodite who just sleep with anyone she likes.

Tl;dr Yoko Taro watched too much Madoka.

Characters:

Zero - Your heroine. She was a slut from day 1 but ends up becoming a serial killer bitch and kills a lot of people because she thinks everyone back-stabs her. Trolled by the god on the last moment of her death and shit out 5 little cunt. In ending A she got back stab by a faggot who turns out to be another ONE that was shit out by ONE. In ending B, she saved her dragon by turn herself into a loli in the dragons mind. In ending C she failed so bad that she vomit everywhere. In ending D, you gets to play the same artificial difficult rhythm mini game against Zero, who is now the evil statue from 1st game. Rumor being that she is responsible for the naked flying baby shit from the 1st game, which the majority agree because she is a prostitute.

Michael - Zero's first dragon. Got rofl owned and was reincarnated to the shit head below with an asspull.

Mikhail - Since the reincarnation from Michael reset all his brain cell and age, he is now a retarded dragon that pisses himself. Has annoying VA that makes everyone's ear blow.

ONE - The eldest and the leader of intoners against her sister Zero. She has no sex doll like the rest of her sisters so she create her brother, which they fucked. Take that Furaeie.

ONE (brother) - His sister's sex slave. Got his own shitty manga where after everyone died in Ending A, he decided to be a religious fag and infected everyone with incurable zombie aids. To solve this problem, he team up with a rape elf, which causes even more death, even fucked up Caim's kingdom and drove Caim's sister insane. Great job. After realized he is the source of the aids, rape elf cut his head off, but let him live so that aids could spread and doom the fucking world.

TWO - Annoying dumb cunt who is good at staying in the kitchen, which she should be locked inside because she accidentally turned a bunch of children into a orgy monster after mind fuck them with her song.

Cent - Two's sex slave. Just like your typical retarded boyfriend, he Assisted in turning children into monster and was forced to kill them. Better yet, he is the one who use his gf's power to mind rape people. Good job retard.

THREE - The most autistic of the sisters. Lazy cunt that likes to cut people with her scissors and turning them into fighting machines.

Octa - THREE's sex slave. A perverted fucking old man who wasn't actually that old due to the buttsecks he receive that turns him old.

FOUR - The fucking virgin. Likes to holocaust elves and kill a bunch of people while pretended she was only do it for justice.

Decadus - FOUR's sex slave. Likes to receive buttsecks from everyone because he is a faggot masochistic.

FIVE - The dumb blond of the sisters. Your typical rich white girl.

Dito - FIVE's shota sex slave. Likes to taste shit and throwing them around.

See Also

Drakengard is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.