Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2

The only other RTS that isn't StarCraft.

Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2, also known as Communist Invasion Simulator 2 is another game in the Command & Conquer series of RTS games and the sequel to it's jerky, pixelated as fuck predecessor Red Alert. Red Alert 2 is basically the only good C&C game ever made and it's considered by many to be the pinnacle of RTS games and despite being old as shit, it's still better than most newer RTS games. It's sequel was the absolute dogshit Red Alert 3 that never lived up the same appeal the second game had. Of Course RA3 was made by EA so it was fuck all from the start anyways. Much to the butthurt of the community, the game is so old that new versions of Windows, notably 8 and 10 can't run the game because Microsoft decided to stop leaving ancient ass drivers and shit in their OS.

Campaign

You can play either as the democracy cock sucking Allied Nations or the glorious communist Soviet Union. The plot is the same as before, Soviets invade the Allied countries and depending on which side you're on which doesn't really matter, you just do missions and shit, blow the other faction to kingdom come, and then your winner.

Yuri's Revenge Campaign

Yuri's Revenge is an expansion pack that adds a bunch of shit to RA2 like a new campaign, a new factions, and more units. YR is recommended mainly because it has some of the most lulzy units in the game, giving you new ways to piss people off and/or get fucked up. Again you can play either of the two factions except now your fighting some psychic bald dude who looks like Lenin. The timelines get fucked up and history gets changed and all that type of shit.

Factions

• Alies: Comprised mainly of the USA, France, and the British. Basically they fight with lasers and shit.
• Soviets: Comprised of Russia, Cuba, and a bunch of sandnigger countries. Nukes and slavs with lightning guns.
• Yuri: Added to skirmish mode in Yuri's Revenge. Basically you just mind control everyone's shit or just use the Floating Disc.

Shit used by All Factions

Main Structures

• Construction Yard: Main base structure needed for fucking everything. Blow this up to fuck someone completely over.
• Power Plant/Tesla Reactor: Except Yuri. Basic energy production. You'll need a fuckton of these and it's usually never enough.
• Ore Refinery: Except Yuri. Gets you jew gold and shit. Unlike before you don't need silos to clog up your whole base.
• Barracks: Train your army of faggots who will go and die at your command.
• War Factory: Build tanks and some aircraft. That's about as simple as it gets.
• Naval Shipyard/Submarine Pen: Build boats and shit. Won't matter since the dolphins will just blow it up in five seconds.
• Battle Lab: Build this to unlock uber powerful shit that can lay waste to everything.
• Service Depot: Except Yuri. Fix vehicles and shit. Nobody ever uses these but they are essential to building spare MCVs.

Support Structures

• Wall: Used for keeping the Mexicans out.

Infantry

• Engineer: Capture buildings with this faggot. He'll die by the dogs before he can do anything.
• Attack Dogs: Except Yuri. Use these to patrol the walls and kill any Mexicans that show up.

Navy

• Amphibious Transport: Carry things and shit.

Allied Shit

Main Structures

• Air Force Command HQ: Allied radar station that can also build jets that are just used to fuck with you.
• Robot Control: Allows you to build Robot Tanks. If it gets blown up, they shut off and are sitting fucking ducks.
• Ore Purifier: Makes your jew gold worth more jew gold. It's a win win.

Support Structures

• Pillbox: Small bunker type building packed with ratatatat machine guns. Only good for shitting on infantry.
• Patriot Missile System: Anti air missile system. Still useless against the Floating Disc.
• Prism Tower: Tower that fires a fucking laser and multiple can be chained together to make a MOAR POWERFUL LAZER. This thing is made of hax.
• Grand Cannon: Big ass naval gun that can blow shit up in one shot from halfway across the map. This gun is the stuff of lulz.
• Gap Generator: Hides your candy ass off the map by covering it with fog of war. No like it matters because you're still a target for nukes.
• Spy Satellite Uplink: Overpowered as fuck building that shows the entire fucking map.
• Chronosphere: Big ass Doc Brown type shit teleporter. Can be used to fuck with people by teleporting their tanks into the ocean.
• Weather Control Device: A machine that takes control of God and creates a fucking lightning storm over a designated spot, blowing the shit out of everything.

Infantry

• GI: Americunt Mehreen type faggot that walks to his target, sprays them with a pistol, then deploys sandbags and a machine gun, killing an entire group of people.
• Guardian GI: Same shit as the GI on foot but even slower. Deploys with a rocket launcher that demolishes the shit out of vehicles.
• Sniper: Britbong who one shot kills all infantry that show up in his range. Put in an IFV for maximum lulz.
• Rocketeer: Jetpack riding dudes with a gun that can lay waste to whole bases in large enough numbers. Because fuck you.
• Spy: Sean Connery goes can disguise himself as enemies and steal shit from their base. They are fuck all against dogs.
• SEAL: Macho badasses that can shred entire groups of infantry and blow up buildings with C4. Oh and they can swim, fucking fantastic.
• Chrono Legionnaire: A guy that literally erases shit from existence. Watch as he teleports into the back of your base and cleans house.
• Tanya: Macho lesbian bitch that's even more overpowered than the SEALs. Kills all infantry in one shot, swim, and use C4. Fucking shit.

Ground Vehicles

• Grizzly: Basic tank. Faster than the Rhino but deals less damage. You won't use this after you get the Mirage.
• Chrono Miner: Ore miner that can teleport from the field, to the refinery. Pretty great for collecting jew gold.
• IFV: Fast as shit vehicle with a rocket launcher. Infantry can get inside and change what type of weapon it has.
• Mirage: Tank armed with an incendiary gun that sets infantry on fire with one shot and is powerful against everything else. Also it can camouflage itself into a fucking tree.
• Robot Tank: Only benefit to these is that they're cheap and can cross water. Otherwise they are basically shit.
• Battle Fortress: Big ass APC that can be loaded with infantry, drive over walls, and fuck shit up.
• Tank Destroyer: Exactly what it says it does. Makes vehicles go kill better than a regular tank but is even shittier against infantry.
• Prism Tank: Tank that's armed with a similar laser found on the Prism tower. Groups of these can level an entire base easily.

Aircraft

• Harrier: Basic attack jet that can be built from the Air Force Command HQ. They are annoying as fuck and only good for base harassment.
• Black Eagle: Only available to the gooks of South Korea and it basically a more heavily armored Harrier. As if the regular one wasn't annoying enough.
• Nighthawk: Helicopter that carries shit and has a gun that does fuck all.

Navy

• Dolphin: These little bastards will ruin any naval setup you have. They are hard as fuck to see and they absolutely demolish everything when in groups.
• Destroyer: Basic ship that comes with a cannon and an Osprey VTOL to fuck up submarines. Not much else to say about it.
• Aegis Cruiser: Hands down the most overpowered AA weapon in the game and just one can take out an entire fucking fleet of Kirovs. This boat is made of hax.
• Aircraft Carrier: This big ass ship just sits well outside your range of defense and just spams wave after wave of Hornet fighters that rape the shit out of your base.

Soviet Shit

Main Structures

• Radar: Shows your minimap and that's about it. Unlike the Allies radar, it's does no cool shit. Fucking cheap ass Communists.
• Nuclear Reactor: This monster can power your whole base no problem, until a SEAL shows up and plants C4 on it, blowing up half your fucking base with it.
• Cloning Vat: Copy pastes any infantry made from the Barracks at no extra cost. In Yuri's Revenge, the Soviets no longer get this but Yuri does. Fuck him.
• Industrial Plant: Speeds up build time and reduces the cost of of all your vehicles. There's literally no downside to this thing.

Support Structures

• Sentry Gun: Automated turret that shreds infantry in a single burst. Basically shits all over the Pillbox.
• Flak Cannon: A big cannon that farts out shrapnel to blow up aircraft. Does it's job at least, at least in numbers.
• Battle Bunker: It's a concrete box that you load up full of drunken Russians with AK-47s. That's it.
• Tesla Coil: Zaps the living shit out of everything that comes to close to it. Can be overcharged with Tesla Troopers for added lulz.
• Psychic Sensor: Shows all the shit that's coming towards your base. In Yuri's Revenge, the Soviets don't get this shit anymore either. But guess who does?
• Iron Curtain: Makes any vehicles in it's activation radius completely invincible for an amount of time, but just just enough time to deal a lot of fucking damage.
• Nuclear Missile Silo: Builds a giant ass rocket carrying a nuke that levels almost entire bases and leaves radiation for a bit just to fuck up anyone who survived.

Infantry

• Conscript: Cheaper than the GI but much more shit. Probably because he's fucking drunk.
• Flak Trooper: Ex-convicts who get to carry around a giant ass cannon as their fresh start on life. Rape the shit out of aircraft in groups.
• Crazy Ivan: Batshit insane psycho with a love affair for blowing shit up. Goes around and plants bundles of TNT on shit. Can also plant TNT on friendlies for lulz.
• Terrorist: Similar to the Crazy Ivan but they go full "Allahu Ackbar" and blow themselves the fuck up instead.
• Tesla Trooper: Guys in armor that go around an zap the shit out of everything. Can charge Tesla Coils.
• Desolator: Armed with a radiation gun that literally melts infantry. Can also deploy to make a radiation field like a nuke and fuck up anything that tries to go through.
• Yuri: Just goes around and mind controls shit. Now no longer used because of Yuri's Revenge.
• Boris: Commando who rapes shit at long range with his rifle and can call MiGs in to fuck up buildings. Also hates swimming so he's fucking useless off land.

Ground Vehicles

• Rhino: Basic tank. More powerful and heavily armored than the Grizzly but slower. You won't use this after you get the Apocalypse.
• War Miner: Ore miner that has a machine gun for killing off niggers.
• Flak Track: Fast as shit people carrier with a small flak cannon on it. Nothing much else to see here.
• V3 Launcher: A semi truck with a big ass rocket on the back of it. Several of these can rape shit on bases at long range.
• Terror Drone: Little spider like drones that bore into vehicles and tear them apart from the inside. Annoying as fuck, and the service depot is the only way to get rid of them.
• Demolition Truck: A truck with a small nuke in the back driven by some insane sandnigger Jihadist who speeds into a base and blows himself the fuck up.
• Tesla Tank: Tank that electrocutes the shit out of everything. Can shoot over walls because fucking lightning. That's why.
• Apocalypse Tank: Basically the new version of the Mammoth Tank. Build about 10 or more and send them into a base and watch the magic. Use the Iron Curtain if you're fucking cruel.

Aircraft

• Kirov Airship: Giant ass blimp that moves slow as fuck and drops big ass bombs that can level entire bases in a couple runs. Provided an Aegis doesn't rape the shit out of them before they get there.
• Siege Chopper: Attack helicopter than can also deploy into an artillery gun for some fucking reason.

Navy

• Giant Squid: As if the Dolphin wasn't fucking ridiculous enough, the Soviets use big ass squids that go full kraken on boats. The Dolphin still rapes the shit out of then though.
• Typhoon: Submarine that is virtually impossible to detect and can completely fuck up naval operations if there are enough of them. Fuck these things.
• Sea Scorpion: Attack boat with a flak cannon, because every Soviet weapon either is flak or suicide based. Good for fucking up Dolphins and aircraft.
• Dreadnought: Ship loaded with guided missiles that pound the shit out of ground targets well outside of your defensive range.

Yuri's Shit

Main Structures

• Bio Reactor: Works just like any other power plant but you can put people inside it to boost it's performance.
• Psychic Radar: The same shit as the Psychic Sensor but it now doubles as a radar.
• Cloning Vat: Copy pastes any infantry made from the Barracks at no extra cost.
• Grinder: A giant ass carwash but instead of brushes, you get blades and spikes. You can put shit in here and get cash for them.

Support Structures

• Gattling Cannon: A turret can tears the living shit out of infantry and aircraft alike. However, it takes time to spin up to full speed so tanks can shit all over them.
• Psychic Tower: Mind controls shit that gets too close so you can sell them for jew gold with the Grinder.
• Tank Bunker: It's a concrete box that you put a tank inside for extra protection for when it gets fucked in the ass by Harriers.
• Genetic Mutator: Injects all infantry in the blast radius with Rawberry flavored Powerthrist and turns them into Brutes.
• Psychic Dominator: Blows up half the targeted area and mind controls some shit too.

Infantry

• Initiate: Faggot wearing a hazmat suit that shoot fucking plasma out of his forehead.
• Brute: Roided up mutants that look like the Incredible Hulk that pound the living shit out vehicles. Annoying as fuck.
• Virus: Short range snipers that cause faggots to explode into a cloud of poison gas which in turn causes more faggots to explode.
• Terrorist: Similar to the Crazy Ivan but they go full "Allahu Ackbar" and blow themselves the fuck up instead.
• Yuri Clone: Just goes around and mind controls shit.
• Yuri Prime: Rides around on a fucking floating chariot and does the same exact shit as the Clones but much faster and he can capture buildings. Fuck him.

Ground Vehicles

• Lasher: Basic tank. Same shit as the Grizzly but it's gun projectile moves faster.
• Slave Miner: Mobile refinery with a gun that deploys a shit ton of slaves at the ore field. If destroyed, you can use the freed slaves and beat the shit out of things with shovels.
• Gattling Tank: Same shit as the Cannon but on wheels and a bit less powerful.
• Chaos Drone: Drives around farting gas that makes shit go into a frenzy.
• Magnetron: Basically a rehash of the Disruptor from Tiberian Sun but it can now lift vehicles and drop them into the fucking ocean for lulz. Useless against infantry though.
• Mastermind: A tank that mind controls a ton of shit fast as fuck but it will just overload itself and blow up.

Aircraft

• Floating Disc: UFO with a powerful as fuck laser. Simply build about five, fly into a base, start sapping the power out of a power plant and watch the chaos unfold. This thing is fucking ridiculous.

Navy

• Boomer: Basically the Dreadnaught crossed with the Typhoon. This thing is made of hax.

See Also

• Vidya
• EA

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