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Coelhilth
Coelhilth is an emo furry stalker from Sweden who spends his time chasing after underage girls online and bawwwing when they don’t want to hear about his “ultimate feelings” for them or engage in cybersex with him. He is known for threatening to an hero himself in order to get e-laid. He is a delete fucking everything kind of guy.
Coelhilth hails from FurAffinity, the wonderland for furfags with a lot of time on their hands.
His Personal Life
He has a girlfriend and lives with his mother. Or, his mother visits him regularly and takes care of him. We aren’t quite clear on this, and we also aren’t sure we really want to know. In typical emo fashion, he is a camwhore.
His E-Life
He recently fell in love with a fellow furfag who is still in junior high. Coelhilth made his creepy psycho image complete by finding out irl information about her and pestering her on instant messengers. What ensued were a series of love notes, all in broken English, all expressing such frightening prospects as "ultimate feelings."
—Coelhilth |
Again, junior high. Being that he is 21 according to his current profile, Coelhilth is clearly too old for the people he professes love for.
The majority of his im conversations allegedly contained over 9000 pages worth of bawww over how tragic his life was and how his pedomeat made it all better. He also humbly requested that she please do not mind.
—Coelhilth |
This is what a stalker writes to his victims:
—Coelhilth |
In an effort we can only assume was aimed to further traumatize, Coelhilth began sending cybersex messages to his loli. Despite several cries of do not want, Coelhilth continued sending raep messages and claiming that he would kill himself if his loli didn't love him too. These messages came with illustrations.
—Coelhilth |
—Coelhilth |
His an hero tactics worked for a while before the furfag girl decided it wouldn’t be heart-breaking if he really did off himself, thought better of playing along, and “dumped” him. This resulted in lulzy hate art on Coelshit’s part.
His Art
Shitty. It can be subdivided into his hilarious comics, his gallery of bawww, and his loaf. Yes, his loaf. It actually looks like a roll and not a loaf, so make sure to tell him that for instant lulzy dramas and moar threats to leave FurAffinity. Oh, and also he has some shitty pr0n, but if you check now it will probably be gone.
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Coelhilth's female fursona Ajko. According to his old user page info before he deleted it, she is mute.
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I guarantee you will come to hate this loaf.
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Some BAWWWing over his lost loli.
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Low eye is loooooow.
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AAAARDFGHFH EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE IS AGONY.
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The fence represents his inner feelings!!!! 111
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Well, this explains just about everything.
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Sex on acid.
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He's very excited about it. Notice that he causes his loyal watchers pain, but they do not care.
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Amazing new pron from the RunuRunner account. WHAT IS GOING ON???????
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AGAIN: WHAT?
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She is beautiful, no matter what you saAAAAYYYy
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Is that... ICE CREAM?
How to Troll Ajko:
—Coelhilth |
Sounds like a challenge, friends. An exploitable one.
The Comics
These comics are so astronomically unfunny it is painful. The main character is a stick figure furry named Freck with spaghetti tendril arms that he uses to molest Coelhilth’s female alter ego. We kid you not.
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Is self-rape masturbation?
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Wtf?
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The loaf is never funny.
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Still unfunny.
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It keeps going.
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Arguably his funniest comic. Because it’s made by...you! OH EXPLOITABLE.
In Recent News
A local furfag made a halfhearted attempt to create some lulz and drama from Coelhilth's obvious BAWWW image, "I always wonder why," but being a furfag he of course failed utterly. Lesson to trolls: do not add compliments to confuse your enemy if they are thicker than bricks and don't get sarcasm. Apparently putting anything in the form of a compliment does not confuse and enrage your enemy. It causes him to forget you ever insulted him. Maybe he just didn’t notice in the first place.
—Furfag |
Maybe he should have said “SUPAR COOOOL!!111” instead, and then the message would have come across? But we doubt it.
In other news, Coelhilth has taken to uploading the same work in progress as separate submissions. Perhaps he wishes to anger us? Do not look. It is shitty. He will probably delete it soon, anyway.
I'm not CoelHilth! I'm RunuRunner now!!!!111111111111111111111111111
Apparently he really, REALLY wants to get rid of his past e-life.
Links
Coelhilth on FurAffinity EVERYTHING BALEETED. He now has a new account on FA, which is RunuRunner. On this account he is apparently faking to be a female and draws even more hilarious pr0n of his mongoloid characters! He already threatened to leave this account once. IT'S LIKE THE ENDLESS CIRCLE OF DRAMA.
NEW ACCOUNT! |
This just in! The fucker has made a new account, less then 24 hours old as of this post! littlepancake
Coelhilth is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |