BanniNation

Disemvowel snoops and you'll face the alt army. Beware.

banniNation.com (2007 - 2015 RIP) was a "weird news" and porn link aggregator. It is also known as "bN", or "those fucking assholes" (as Drew Curtis might say, and it takes one to know one, right faget?)

banniNation was born last Tuesday when Fark jumped the shark on April the 25th of 2007, with the worst site redesign evar, and the revelation that paying totalfarkers were being shadow banned, keeping them paying money while not actually having any ability to post to the site, which made a lot of people unhappy.

banniNation existed in a special section of spacetime where everyone is an admin and no one is an admin - all users moderate the site and content. this of course leads to drama, especially in politics threads. Some argue that bN is full of group think, but this usually gets said after someone gets butthurt after losing a flame war. In short, it was vastly lulzier and more honest than Fark ever was.

The announcement of its shutdown was for the 3rd of May, just in time for one final binge of tequila -- followed by vomiting blood.

Content and Meta

As an aggregator site, bN doesn't have any actual content, as it's easier to just link to places that do the work and then bitch about how biased the source is. as a pr0n aggregator, bN is iffy - depending on the evening you'll either get badly airbrushed met-art girls or copious amounts of black person. the real pr0n on bN comes from the exhibitionistic tendencies of its users, who like to post their autoerotic asphyxiation photos in multiple threadz.

Voting takes place in da kew where users vote what goes front page. many bloggers have found the bN kew to be an effective place to generate google ads revenue by sending ppl to blogposts that simply reference other blogposts which reference other blogposts which, 30 pages later, link to a huffington post article. some decry this as blogspam but grahams is cool with it because advertisers don't like that shit.

A thread becomes meta when it becomes so fucking epic that there exist more posts in threads talking about the thread then in the thread itself. when this happens, it is the sovereign duty of every bN user to tag the thread "meta", as six meta tags will banish the article/discussion to the mhetto. bN's most popular tags include meta, discuss, your mom, anything involving black person, and fuck you eastheimer. while some tags may bring much lulz, others are greatly lacking. Tagging too many things one specific tag results in whining and general butthurt from the bNers who fear change and lulz.

The Creators

Grahams keeps the failboat afloat. bN still wont get 750 users, they're all just alts of the same five people.

Cranky Bastard likes ur mudkipz.

IPE is just as important as the other two, just no one is sure what he does.

STF* ndx and Nncy Mtr*c

Using complex Al Gore rhythms, some ninjas, Computer Science III, and a crosseyed gerbil named Ruprecht, banniNation allows community moderation with lots of numbers. Contrary to other knobs that turn to 11, when your bN knob is turned to -3 you get a STFU Index. Other ways to get STFU'd noob is to have kew submissions voted as spam. One of the punishments for a high STFU Index is disemvowelment. Most notably demonstrated first by tass. After being voted down repeatedly, his first post was "dchnzzls."

If a user votes down a post, the libs in chat will vote it back up giving that user a pillow-biting-nancy score. The nancy faces a variety of punishments including not being able to vote, if you attempt to vote you get taken nancy hunting, and left to nurse your ass wounds. Jingks was the ultimate nancy with 54. That was until mathmatix more than doubled his score.

Great Moments in bN History

bN users used to get lulz from a variety of websites, most notably fark. But when fark closed its doors to lulz and began baleeting posts and users, some vowed to nevar forget.

Christmas Miracle of 2007

EJ0 stopped taking meds when he joined bN.

In a world... where Superdug discusses Superdug

Normally, Christmas is the slowest day of the year for a news discussion site, not for bN. Swinging Johnson submitted and delivered a lolcow for the bN community, and we didn't get him anything. It all began in a meta thread. SJ, thinking his lulz bring all the boys to the yard, posted "If I had known my vote would have caused you to have a Rectal Prolapse I would have not voted it down and spared you the emotional anguish that you now suffer." Mathmatix then replied with a trolling post, "If i would have known you'd get a rectal prolapse from talking about things you've talked about before, i'd probably have said them sooner." Thread died, no lulz were achieved.

Fast forward to Christmas morning, SJ high on life begins his immaculate butthurt tirade against Mathmatix, who was fast asleep with visions of lulz dancing in his head. SJ, realizing internet is serious fucking business, began to make threats about chopping the fingers off of users with a cigar cutter. You can view whats left of the lulz carcass here. SJ's STFU Index is over 6, so he'll enjoy a week of unexpected loneliness and feelings of "I shouldn't have done that."

Saving bN So You Don't Have To

Ratfucker took his name from a political term, but don't let that fool ya. He's the rat of bN that considers himself the site's personal jesus. He posts for the sins of other trolls, so you don't have too. He crucifies himself as the person to protect bN from the likes of EJ0. Now that EJ0's STFU Index is stuck at 3 and unable to post, Ratfucker finds his time more idle. Between the emo depression that is slowly driving him to consider an hero status and unable to deal with the free time, he pops in on occasion desperately trying to appear relevant to an uncaring bN community.(writing credits to The Gospel of Thomas as most of this was taken from a quote in the beer garden.)

Stokke is his beard, Boxed Merlot is his courage

Bonnie is a bisexual user confused about his life. Its only when boxes of merlot are involved that Bonnie sees things clearly. When Allison Stokke is involved, expect epic amounts of faggotry soon after. After a couple boxes of merlot, Bonnie's meltdowns bring all the boys to the yard. Examples of his faggotry can be found here(most recent bonnie thread).

Voted Most Likely to have to explain the transexual hooker in the car (July 7th, 2008); Voted Most Likely to suck dick for merlot (July 7th, 2008)

Tits or GTFO

bN's numerous "bNettes" are quite fond of posting their cash and prizes. All-time all stars include Heresy of Truth (whose bacon tits became an international sensation), Sweetrage, Magic Nipples, Elton Jon Benet, Abbynormal, Illuminaughty, and Spongegirl Circleskirt. Within bN culture, the blowjob mug is considered the ultimate form of fan service, and is becoming more popular by the week.

About missing Pics

Heresy of Truth's Bacon Tits
Illuminaughty's Clown Tits
Magic Nipples' Magic Nipples
EJB's Pendulous Boobies

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If this makes u hot, the obvious solution is to register an account at bannination.com and start posting already.

bN Quotes

	“	"The fact of the matter is, I'm one of the more intelligent and creative persons on this website. The constant trolling and defense of trolls by people such as yourself is growing very old, very fast. Perhaps you should reconsider your decision to choose having someone around like the crusader over someone like finnley wren, who is, at worst, a thousand times more perceptive than you will ever manage to be."	„
	—Vaylon Kenadell shortly before butthurt and a series of "I'm leaving" threads began., [1]

Donate to bN, cuz it won't survive Pilto's refund.

	“	"grahams, send me back my donation. i see no reason to help support you assholes."	„
	—Pilto, after realizing Indian giving isn't just a saying its the bN way., [2]

	“	"Just because a woman has a vagina and someone sticks something in it without permission, it isn't always rape."	„
	—The Crusader, you gonna get... services stolen.", [3]

	“	"bN, it's a bunch of white Oprahs."	„
	—5uperman, posts and receives

	“	"soledsoled, I don't give a shit what you have to say, ever. In fact, from here on, I'm not replying to a goddamn thing you say. Fuck you forever."	„
	—flyingpig, bN's resident nancy. [4]