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Bacon and eggs

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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You know you want it...

I came.
Directions that can be found at any Bathroom Bacon Dispenser (BBD)
Corned beef hash and Hash Browns, two other sides that, when put with bacon and eggs, can make an orgy happen in your mouth. Also a leading cause of cancer.
HAGGER?
As poet Omar Khayyám once wrote; "ED, bacon and thou".

Bacon and eggs is the only thing a real man should ever eat for breakfast, and can be enjoyed in numerous delicious forms. One wonders as to how British fags, who are noteworthy worldwide for their disgusting food (like Haggis, which is made of animal guts, and Black Pudding, which is made of blood) came up with such culinary magnificence. It has everything your mouth needs - meat, fat and salt. If you're going to get fat, there's no better way to get fat than bacon and eggs. However, because of its fatty, salty content, it is undeniable proof that God punishes people for mindless indulgence, as you will become fat for eating it twice consecutively.

The experience of eating bacon and eggs has been rightly compared to having an orgasm in one's mouth. This may cause confusion as to whether the subject is bacon and eggs or fellatio; however, bacon and eggs cause you to have an orgasm in your mouth, whereas fellatio causes Uncle Tony to have an orgasm in your mouth. Both result in hot, sticky, salty goodness; yet that's as far as the similarity goes, unless you're having sausage and eggs, which doesn't truly compare, as sausage usually requires ketchup, while bacon requires nothing. Those who taint bacon with anything other than its fatty, greasy, crispy deliciousness should simply die, and will undoubtedly be killed when the cook sees this travesty.

Variants of Bacon and eggs

  • Bacon, sausage, hash browns, mushrooms and egg (pictured below by Hagger).
  • Bacon, beans and egg
  • Bacon and egg sandwich (fuck bacon egg, and cheese. That's fer fags).
  • Bacon omelette
  • Bacon, tomato and eggs
  • Bacon, sausage and eggs
  • Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, ba... [repeat ad infinitum]
  • Bacon, spam, eggs and spam
  • Bacon, mushroom and eggs
  • Bacon, sausage, ham, toasts, beans, and eggs (dude srsly)
  • Bacon, eggs, corned beef hash, and hash browns (your one way ticket to hell)
  • Bacon, eggs, sausage, ham, black pudding, white pudding, fried tomatoes, toasts, fried potatoes and fried mushrooms (epic breakfast)
  • Bacon, green eggs, don't fuck with the bacon, moar bacon
  • Bacon, Canadian Bacon, pancakes, syrup
  • Bacon, with a bacon sammich on the side (Just bacon And Bread, nothing else. NOTHING ELSE.)
  • Bacon, and beer. (Fuck Yeah)
  • Bacon, just like piles and piles of bacon, like sooo much bacon, just like a shit load of bacon man.
  • Bacon.

Warning

Disclaimer: Eating "bacon and eggs" may cause you to turn into a fat whore. Encyclopædia Dramatica is not responsible for this, nor for any resultant conditions such as you getting defriended, catching internet disease, taking fat girl angle shots and eventually quitting IRL forever,or even getting obsessed with it like a fatass you are. We will, however, laugh at you.

Even Fallout 3 and its fans are obsessed with bacon and eggs!


Bacon and Eggs Devastation


Michael Rosen


By the way, Fallout 3 is amazing. Ignore the headline and just admire the delicious picture.

Fact of the day

Some animals (like the Alien Hive Mother) have a special "egg penis" or "ovipositor" made entirely out of bacon.

Famous Quotes About Bacon and Eggs

   
 
With a little bacon, we could make bacon and eggs. If only we had some eggs.
 

 
 

—Anonymous

   
 
OH FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, I SAID BACON AND EGGS.
 

 
 

Tourette's Guy

   
 
Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.
 

 
 

Your mom

   
 
Bacon and Eggs? My favourite!
 

 
 

Muhammed

Bacon and eggs
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

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