James Emails 2

The continuation of James Emails 1, these are the emails exchanged between "Rick" and James Terry Mitchell Jr. The next part of this email exchange is here: James Emails 3

Emails

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
1 Aug

to me 
I left out for my errands at around 9am I bought a pack of cigs and a gatorade then I caught the bus and went to the dollar store and got some undershirts and a new charger then walked 3-5 blocks to the bank and got the cash out then went to aldi and got some proccuto and some brie and salami and some tomatoes and I went to the other bank and payed rent and sewer bill then came home To drop off my stuff then I walked to Taco Bell and on the way an adorable little cat let me play with her and she had a little scab on her neck and she let me Doctor it for her that made me feel useful. And when I walked away she followed me a few feet so I rubbed her tummy a bit and then I got the 12 pack half soft half dorito tacos and two chalupas and then I walked home and gave one of the tacos to dad. And now I'm binge watching Frasier.

No questions just thought it would brighten your day to hear that I had a good day.

I hope you're doing better with the concussion? I worry.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
3 Aug

to me 
Why don't you wanna smoke? And there are tons of edibles and recipes where you can infuse butter by steeping the weed in it in a double boiler. 

I met my friend at the library struck up a conversation about superman and we saw each other around and one night I was at the library using the wifi because they left it on all night and I didn't have it at home yet. I smelled weed and was drawn to it and found some kids smoking and bummed a few hits and by the time I circled back around he was sitting on the picnic table eating a burrito. I had the munchies and asked if he had any more and he took me to the VP and treated me to a few things I invited him to my place and we watched some tv and then he went home. 

Outside of relationships yes.

I never said that. I fucked a guy I met on craigslist but I hated it so I'm not gay. He was 6'5" or more he was 3 times my size but his dick was half the size of mine. It was uncut and felt like a dagger in my ass. And no matter how long I pounded away in his ass I couldn't cum cause I didn't love him. Also he couldn't suck dick to save his life. 

I know that. I'm a serial monogamist and it's not easy to find women that want anything more than a fling anymore. I tend to rush into sex because I'm afraid that if I let the woman get to know me she'll never fuck me. But as the old saying goes the good ones ain't easy and the easy ones ain't good. 

I don't have anything going for me. I'm not worthy of love I just try and every now and then find a woman willing to fuck me but eventually they stop loving me. 

I'm afraid I'm destined to either be alone forever and fall in and out of love over and over. I'm psychotic,neurotic,ugly, moody, socially retarded, arrogant, entitled, worthless, boring, complicated. 

I'm too weird for any woman to love unless she's even crazier than me. 

No normal woman will ever love me. I'm an evil disgusting pathetic waste of existence that's too much of a fucking coward to end it. 

I'm so crazy I make Joker look like the riddler by comparison (excluding the multiple/mass murders obviously).

I'm a walking contradiction so many conflicting ideas in my head so many divergent thoughts. And no way to conclude on any one of them because they are opinions and there is no way to be factually correct about an opinion. And since I can see both sides of any argument I have a hard time making a decision. 

Both feminists and mras have their points that I agree with. 

Nothing really makes me a catch. Unless a woman finds insanity attractive lol. 

It's not "tone" exactly, it's just the muscles get bigger and the flab shrinks a bit it's pretty much a wash but I feel better. There's a difference between fat and flabby. A relatively thin person can be flabby it's a loose skin thing. 

I'm not sure I can make a video for you but I'll try. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
4 Aug

to James 
Damn. I thought I had already answered this for some reason .Weird.

Why don't I want to smoke? Because it's disgusting and you're inhaling smoke and other toxins directly into your lungs. I'm still on the fence about vaping because we don't know the health implications of this and probably won't know for at least 5-10 years. Yeah, and then what? Eat butter by the spoonful? It's a little hard to manage a dose when you can't tell how potent something is which is why I'm looking for something pre-made. Or at least try it first before deciding it's for me. I've never actually partaken of the stuff so I don't know what to expect. 

And I'm sure you've had other friends at other points in your life or was he the first? The only reason I ask is that you've done it before. What's preventing you from doing it again?

It's just that I think I asked you about other experiences and you never mentioned this other guy. Also did you use lube? I would expect that even if he had a small penis that you'd need lube. Also, and I'm not trying to be contrary here, but one guy convinced you you weren't gay? There's something here you're not telling me. A person doesn't go from, "hey I want some guy's cock in my ass" to "I didn't like it so I'm not gay". If that was the case every woman out there would be a lesbian because of a bad sexual experience. Also I know a guy who went gay for the express purpose of being able to get sex whenever he wanted. He couldn't always score with the ladies but found that he liked getting his dick sucked and lots of gay guys were totally into that with a stranger. So he went gay and was able to have meaningless sex whenever he wanted. And according to him, guys suck dick better than girls do just like my girlfriend tells me that women eat pussy better. Fact is you know what feels good for you and apply that outwards instead of inwards. So it really could mean that you just found yourself a dud although considering it was Craigslist I'm not really surprised, 

Yeah, but no. Typically women don't want a fling. Sure there are times they do because they have no time for a relationship but women are always the ones pushing for a relationship while men are the ones trying to avoid it. You also place too much attention on sex and a lot of women feel that if you rush into sex, you're more interested in that than you are interested in them. Unless you have magic voodoo fingers, a champion oral technique or can make a woman cum from just penetration alone, she's going to want more from you than just sex. What's the longest you've gone without it and assuming you met the right woman how long before you pushed her to have sex with you? 

Look dude, I'm not into this whole pity party thing. "oh woe is me. I'm never going to find the one. Women don't like me. I'm going to be forever alone. Feel bad for me. Boo hoo hoo". And you know what? All that is going to come true if you continue to believe it and shelter yourself from the world. Women don't want a guy who's down on himself. They're attracted to confidence. I'm reminded of a sketch from SNL from years ago. The guest host was Sharon Stone and the scene was in a bar. Chris Farley and Adam Sandler are buddies sitting there and they see Sharon walk in alone and order a drink. One of them dares the other one to go and talk to her but he turns into a blithering idiot when he does. He walks back to his friend and says "she's a bitch. Nobody is good enough for her unless he's really good looking. Regular guys like us don't have a chance!" 

His friend says something like, "let me show you how it's done" and proceeds to crash and burn like his friend. Afterwards Jon Lovitz, a man who is nowhere near handsome or charming, walked up and just says, "hello. Would you like to come back to my place?" And Sharon, stoked that somebody was able to speak to her turns into a blithering idiot. As they walk out Jon says,"it's all in the attitude!".

Sure, that's a sketch and this is real life, but there's a lot of truth that. Attitude counts for a lot and chicks dig a guy who is seemingly in command and confident. 

Sorry, but unless you're working out hard the muscles aren't going to be popping much from only 40 curls a day of course that depends on the weight you're using. And flab is just muscle that isn't strong. It has nothing to do with loose skin. That's what you get when it's been stretched and then deflated. A little like a balloon. Blow one up until it's full and then let the air out. The balloon will be more wrinkly and flabbier than it was before. And if you can't do a video that's fine. I was just curious about your form and whether or not you're doing them wrong which could account for the pain you're experiencing.  

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
4 Aug

to me 
Hi again. I would just get to the point of the letter but you enjoy conversation so here goes. 

I'm really getting into pokemon go again now that I understand it more it is fun. 

The other goings on of my life, yesterday I bought a new pair of pajama pants, and some fly paper for the bathroom to catch the gnats, they aren't on it but they're not flying around as much so idk what's going on lqtm. 

Now to the letter, 

No you use the butter to make baked goods replace the oil in cookies and brownies or cake with it. 

School chums and acquaintances and two guys at jobcorps that I never talked to again after the first left and the second one stopped smoking weed and broke up with me to stay clean. So yeah he's the only friend I've had past 6 months except for exes.

Yes we used a numbing lube called tushy tamer. I like toys but a real dick hurts because I couldn't control it. If I'm the one fucking my ass it's okay occasionally but not often. And if I were a top I would enjoy man ass as much as woman ass but I don't. Of all the holes I have stuck my cock in I enjoy really tight pussy first place and female anus of any tightness (excluding painfully tight) but man anus doesn't do anything for my penis. And it wasn't the lube numbing my dick cause later that day I fucked my ex gf and I came buckets in her so it was entirely that I don't like to fuck guys. Hell if he had been female she would have been my type except for the short hair. So yes one man (and nearly a dozen women) and I decided I'm not gay. 

Actually I have been told by 3 exes that I eat pussy better than a woman. One stopped letting me because she would cum so hard she'd get  a headache. 

After the girl it was about 7 years. After that the longest I've gone without is 2 years 6 months. The shortest I've gone without between different women was probably 6 weeks but that's just a guess. Since I discovered sexual release the longest I've ever gone without cumming was 8 days because I was saving up for my gf to try to get her pregnant and I came 5 minutes into the first time then 10 into the second and 20 into the 3rd and the 4th and 5th time took an hour each. But outside of that time the longest I've gone is 3-4 days. Even if I have E.D. I jerk off the softy. If I don't expel it I become irritable and bitchy and my testicles double in size and become increasingly painful. In fact immediately after the first cum after the 8 day wait they shrank down to nearly nothing and by the time the 5th time was over I couldn't find them in my sack. 

Oh? Then why is it when I work out my skin tightens up? And it's a 20lb dumbell ten curls left switch ten curls right switch ten left then ten right. Then I toss it back and forth to get my heart and lungs pumping for a mild aerobic exercise 3-5 minutes then I set it down and pick it up about 20 times. I actually don't work out often maybe a few times a month tops and I only do it when I feel bad or fat emotionally or I look in the mirror and my belly is saggy. But as soon and it tightens up and smoothes out it looks okay again so I stop. It only takes about 2-3 weeks of daily workout and cutting back on sugar. I'm probably going to start on the sit-ups someday soon. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
4 Aug

to James 
I've been playing a lot of video games since the accident but I find it hard to concentrate on the story or I put it aside for a few hours and come back to it and I've forgotten what I was doing before. It's so frustrating. I used to have a mind like a steel trap and the memory of an elephant. And I find I'm spacing out and just forgetting stuff that I should know. Just this afternoon I wanted to make myself something for lunch. I grabbed some chicken and veggies and totally blanked on how it is I used to make a quesadilla. I had to look it up online and even then it's not the same.

I really hope this isn't permanent because I don't know if I could live with myself knowing that I've lost so much. 

Funny, I never got into those freemium games. I played Candy Crush and Angry Birds but after a while they just get so repetive and you need to buy power ups because there's no way to finish the round otherwise so I just got rid of them. Also I was never into Pokemon so there you go. 

Yeah I get that part of using the butter, the point I was getting at was you need to use it when using butter but when you get migraines often time there's some heavy duty nausea that comes along with it and certain smells, tastes or textures can set it off. And if there's something that really gets me seeing stars, gasping for breath and crying in pain is when I'm vomiting while having a migraine. It's hell which is why I can't really eat anything when I'm having an attack.

So you've made other friends even if you don't have them now. Is it safe to say that it's not the making of friends that is bothering you but the keeping of them that's the problem? I'm assuming you have Facebook? What about them? Maybe chatting with them from time to time will help. 

Yeah, I've heard that if you're not careful anal can really hurt. My wife doesn't like it but occasionally my girlfriend does and she's always careful about it in getting the angle right and using enough lube although I'd think that a numbing lube would take away the pleasure as well as the pain. But that's not really answering the question. You said you thought you were bi or at least partially gay. Where did you get that impression becasue all throughout this what I haven't gotten from you is the idea that it was anything specific. I've known all my life that I was straight. An old friend of mine that I used to work with said he knew his entire life that he was gay. I've had bad experiences with women. He's had bad experiences with men. What it never did was get us to swear off our preferred sexual types. Maybe we ought to start at the beginning. When did you first think that you were gay and what caused you to think that way? As I said, I always knew I was straight and I liked girls. At no point in my life was I ever curious or really curious enough to want to do anything sexual with another guy. Sure I've wondered but there's nothing sexy or attractive about the male body as far as I'm concerned. So what made you think you were gay or bi? 

Really? Maybe for you it's focus or motivation. I'll be the first to admit I don't know what I'm doing down there. I know what works and what doesn't but then I had a really good teacher. She has told me that it's a good thing she loves me, because when it comes down to it, girls eat her out better than I do. Then I give it to her and she admits that my dick is the best out of everybody's.

So if you're with a girl, you're pushing for sex right away. You can hold out for a while, but not too long and I would think that once you reach a certain point you're trying really hard to get her to say yes. I can tell you right now, women don't find that attractive in a guy. If you have to beg for it, you're not a real man in her eyes and this is why the relationship probably died. You didn't give her a reason to stay because all she felt was you wanting her for sex and sex only. 

Your skin doesn't tighten up so much as your muscles underneath get filled with fluid, they take up a little more space and wind up stretching the skin ever so slightly to give it the look like it's tightened. It's like women who diet and exercise a lot wind up getting saggy breasts because they're really nothing more than a collection of fat and connective tissue. Lose the fat, you lose some of the shape and she goes down an inch or two. The way around this is to lift and do chest exercises. What she winds up doing is working her chest muscles and it's the muscle underneath that gives her tits a little more "pop" then she'd have before. 

So you do two sets of 10? You need to do more and more often. I don't suggest a heavier weight unless you're looking to bulk up a bit. What about your triceps? What about the forearms and wrists? Do you work those as well? Shoulders? Back? The problem is too many people when they start just focus on their arms and the biceps and abs. We call these "vanity" muscles because they're the ones you can show off. But as I said if you can take a video, even if you make it private and give me the key or whatever to see it, I could tell you how your form is if maybe you're doing them poorly. That might explain the pain because you're not standing properly. 

Can you do pushups? I'm not talking on your knees or against a wall, but regular military style pushups. No bending of the back, your nose practically touches the floor, maybe your chest is the distance of a fist away from the floor. Full extension at the top and regular up and down motions? They're actually really good for working out your chest, shoulders and upper back. And the great thing is you don't need fancy equipment to do it. Literally all you need is the floor. 

It's almost four and I need a cup of coffee, then I want to try to get dinner ready for my wife when she gets home from work so I'l leave you be. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
4 Aug

to me 
Went to arby's for the first time today. I unfortunately held up the line because I kept changing my order. I went specifically for curly fries but wound up eventually getting a gyro a chicken slider curly fries a shake (brought that home gonna space it out like icecream and only a few bites each time. I'm cutting down on sugar not cutting it out completely, last time I did that I wound up even more depressed and angry than usual) and a cookie (again gonna just nibble at it not eat it all in one go) and the large order of curly fries. I ate only the fries and a few sips of the shake. Then I put the gyro and slider in my bag and i had them a few hours later for lunch and a few hours after that half a calzone and a small burrito. I'm not exactly eating healthy but I am walking more. Last time I tried to lose weight it was nothing but healthy eating and light exercise and it didn't do anything and I was in pain a lot. Now I'm experimenting with the other way around eating a little less and cutting back on sugar and soda (trying to cut that out completely and replaced it with tea).

Wow your migraines are that bad? Marijuana won't help that. You should try to get opiates oxytocin or dilauded if you can get it. The strength of weed you would need to get rid of the migraines would have you hallucinating. 

Yeah it's keeping them that's the problem. And weird enough it's not always a break up it's more often just drifting apart. 

I have fb but only strangers and family are on there

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
4 Aug

to me 
Idk what happened. If you got the other message or not. Anyway, fb is only family and strangers met on fanpages for stuff I like. 

The reason I thought I was bi is because I looked at attractive men the same way I did women. I never wanked to them but I would look at attractive bodies not caring what gender they were. I figured that since I don't like vagina sex that much but I adore anal I thought I would like to fuck a guy up the ass as much as a woman but I didn't. And my Dick wasn't numb, well not any more than usual anyway. I just couldn't cum. 

Well, the way I eat pussy is this,

Lots of little kisses on the labia and inner thighs take the tip of your tongue and make it into a point and slide it inbetween the labia and as deep in the hole as you can and wiggle it around swirling it randomly. Then suck the labia and then GENTLY pry them apart and kiss the clit and swirl the tip of your pointed tongue around the hood suck it and by that time she should be turned on enough you flip the hood off the clit itself and then swirl around it and do up down side side and diagonal both ways and randomly switch between each and then if it's a big clit you give it a blowjob and suck it like a nipple but if it's tiny just keep the swiping back and forth up and down and side to side and diagonal and all the parts inbetween. If she enjoys fingers inside her give her the middle finger inside and make it into a hook you'll find a spongy ball on the inside wall on the opposite side of the pubes (where they would be anyway) and it's like a little shelf inside there that's the g spot rub that and push down on the outside so your rubbing your palm through her crotch and she will cum like crazy. That's just my technique I've developed from listening to lots of sex advice shows and reading anatomy and experience. Your mileage may vary. 

It just feels like if a girl gets to know me she's happy to be my friend but not date me. Or if they don't get to know me all they want is the dick and not a relationship. I find it really hard to find a woman willing to get to know me as a person AND as a penis. I'm sorry if that was crass but it was the easiest way to say it. 

Yes 2 sets of ten reps. If I do 20 reps in a row I tear muscle and I'm weak for the next 2 days. I could probably do more reps with less weight but it would be slow going and boring because anything under 20 is light to me. I can do like 50 curls with a 10-15 lb weight. I tried to curl 50lbs once I could only do 2 and the second one tore muscle and burst a blood vessel I had a dime sized red spot on my bicep for a week. It finally healed but I learned my lesson. 

I would make a video but I don't have the equipment. I would need a stand for my phone and I don't want to buy one. I guess I could macgyver something up but I don't care enough. The only outcome of it would be either I'm doing it wrong and I fix it or I'm doing it right and I just don't do it enough. 

I can't do any type of push-ups except pushing myself up off the floor. Even when I was skinny I couldn't do them my shoulders and elbows would lock up and the only way to unlock was to collapse my shoulders are hung on my skeleton weird and the ball joints are really deep in there. When I was little I could dislocate my shoulders at will and flop my arms around and then a simple twitch of a muscle and they popped back in. Shortly after my growth spurt I did it and it was excruciating both popping out and back in. I've dislocated my hips so many times in my life that after the car hit me I knew it was dislocated before I stood up and popped it back in. In fact the Doctor took the xray and was gonna do surgery but I convinced him not to and it's fine. I used to have a pocket of fluid that looked like a boob but it has been reabsorbed. Took 4-5 years but it healed up. 

Sorry if tmi but I felt like sharing. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
6 Aug

to James 
Man I feel useless right now. There's stuff to do outside but I just can't muster the strength to do it. It's not that I'm lazy, I'm just completely unmotivated to do anything.  Maybe I'll take a nap after this.

Well I exaggerate a bit but opiates don't help because it's a neurological pain. At best they... disassociate the pain. It's a weird feeling but the pain is still there and I can feel it but it's like I'm feeling it for somebody else and it's not really my pain. It's hard to describe but the amount of Oxy I need to take to get to that point just gets me stoned. I hate that feeling but it's preferable to wanting to claw my eyes out or drill a hole in my head to relieve some of the pressure. 

People drift, it happens but the idea is to not let it get to that point which means sometimes being the person to pick up the phone and calling them or dropping a quick text to let them know you're still thinking about them,

Yeah sorry guy but that's just weird. I get looking at a guy and thinking he's good looking in the same way that I look at a sunset and think it's pretty. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with the sunset. Did guys ever get you hard? Did the idea of pounding a guy's ass get you hot and bothered? If you were wanking it and thought of a guy did you lose your wood or was there a kind of charge? I look at a pretty woman and I imagine her naked. I think to myself how her body feels or how she'd look with her lips around my dick. I never go for it though because I've got two willing partners that are more than happy to service me sexually. But I've never looked at a guy, even though anal can be nice from time to time, and wanted to pound his butt. It's women that I like. But what about trannies? You say you don't like vaginal sex but like anal so would you fuck a tranny? I know I wouldn't but what about you?

What you've just described there is how most guys eat pussy. It's not rocket science but we don't have the advantage of being overly familiar with one that we can feel what works and what doesn't. As I said if women say you eat pussy better than any woman then it could be you're more attentive than they thought or like the guy you met on Craigslist, these women just don't know how to do it. As I said, I don't know what I'm doing down there but I know what my girls like so I do that a lot. The sound of her enjoying herself and running her fingers through my hair as I eat her out is music to my ears. 

So do the women that friendzone you know that you want to be more than friends? I've got a load of female friends and we're just that, friends. There's no underlying sexual tension or this idea of "will she or won't she"? Same goes for women that I've had a strictly sexual relationship with. One woman we carried on for about four months. We met online, went out but didn't click, went back to her place and she was giving me mixed signals so I went for it and we wound up making out for an hour. Finally she couldn't stand it anymore, she ripped my pants off and sucked me dry. We then met every weekend, sometimes during the week as well, and would just fuck. Fool around. fuck, cum and that was it. 

If you're literally tearing muscle then either you're doing it wrong or trying to lift too much. Beyond that I would think that you're not actually tearing anything because it would take months of recovery to fix that not to mention potentially need to see a surgeon to fix it. 

Just prop your phone against a set of books or something, It doesn't have to be fancy just so long as it captures the moment and the movement. But I'm not going to try to force you to do it if you don't want to. I was just offering to critique your form.

Have you seen a doctor about these issues because none of this is normal. It sounds to me like you did more than just dislocate your joints. If you can't do a pushup because your arms / shoulders lock up then it could be that they haven't actually been popped back into place properly which in turn is what is causing some of your pain. I'd go see somebody and tell them what you've told me. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
7 Aug

to me 
Busy day. I took stuff back to the library, went to the post office cause it's a pokestop but no free wifi so I couldn't play then I went to the park the vietnam memorial there is another one then on the way home I saw a rummage sale I got a new knife a book 3 tomatoes and a cantaloupe all for $3 then I came home. I sliced my finger really bad (not with the new knife lqtm) and burned the tip of another finger. I'm sure I'll heal in 2-5 days 10 tops. Really have been having weird luck this month. 

No, guys never got me hard. Thinking of a guy during doesn't make me lose wood but it doesn't make it better. There's no mental image I can conjure up to make an erection go away I either have to cum or wait 30-60 minutes for it to go away sometimes it'll just soften up in 30-60 seconds if I relax but that's a rarity. Even when I am having ED if I can get an erection I don't have any trouble keeping it. As to transgender people, I enjoy watching them fuck women or even each other rarely but if the scene is a transgender and a man it is gross and I can't wank to it. 

Yes they know.

Okay maybe tear is the wrong word.
What is it called when you work a muscle and it feels like it's been coated in freezing acid and a mild bruise forms and you're temporarily weaker and then stronger but the muscles ache like you have weights on them even when you don't? I easily strain my muscles. 

The other reason I can't do push-ups is the plates and wire in my arm I can't bend my elbow all the way and the way I would need to modify would wrench my shoulder. 

Even before the wreck I could best be described as a collection of spare parts that don't quite fit together right but the heap can putter around ok. Honestly if I could junk myself and get a new one I would lqtm. 

Did the curls the way you suggest back straight and no body movement to help and I could only do 3 & 4 half ones before it hurt my bicep too bad and I couldn't even do one with my broken arm. 

I'm pretty sure my shoulders are in the socket they pop quite often. I just need to stretch just right. Most times it's pure luck that pops them. 

One last thing, if the amount of opiate needed to get rid of the migraine gets you high then the amount of weed you'll need to get rid of the pain will have the same effect. 

That's all for now. Hope you feel better.

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
7 Aug

to James 
I don't get the whole Pokemon GO thing. Actually I get what it's for, to get kids to get the hell out of their homes and actually get some damn exercise but everywhere I look all I see are kids and their phones out trying to find pokemon. It's just a complete waste of time to me but then I never liked Pokemon anyway. I guess that's part of the reason I loved the South Park episode "Chinpokomon": in part because it made fun of the whole craze but also because the name of the episode means quite literally "penis monster".

Then this is what I don't get when you say you used to think you were bi. If guys never got you hard, you never fantasized about taking it up the ass or wanting to suck a guy off and you don't mind a tranny & woman but do mind a tranny & man then it just doesn't make any sense. Can you understand why I'm having so much trouble with this? I get the opportunistic aspect of it and choosing a man's butt over nothing at all but there has to be something there or else literally you're not going to stay hard. All these things you mention just scream sexaholic where it's the sex that matters most to you and not who or what you get it from. 

Yes tear is the wrong word, I've been in the gym when somebody has torn a muscle or even worse has had a ligament tear or snap. First rule is never strain. If you're straining to get it done, then you're doing too much and you run the risk of hurting yourself. It could be something small like a blood vessel rupturing in your eye which can look metal as hell or it could be more serious like a blood vessel bursting in your brain, a muscle tearing, a tendon snapping, joint popping or stuff like you shitting / pissing yourself. In other words don't do it if it's too hard and you're straining. And what you're describing sounds like a combination of overtraining and not resting the muscle properly afterwards. 

Without getting into too big a scientific lecture your muscles run on fuel called "glycogen". When you reach a point where your muscles are tired and don't want to lift anymore, in body building circles this is called "training to failure", you've essentially used up all the glycogen in your muscles and need to refuel. Also you should give the muscles at least a day to repair and refresh themselves. Never train the same muscle groups twice in a 48 hour period. Always have at least 24 hours of rest between each session. This is why bodybuilders focus on certain muscle groups every day. For example, at my peak when I was training every day my split was this:

Day 1: Legs/Abs
Day 2: Chest
Day 3: Back/Abs
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: Shoulder/Abs
Day 6: Arms
Day 7: Rest

On the "rest" days I'd make sure to rest those muscles I had worked and just do some light cardio like walking for an hour. It didn't have to be anything special, but jut something to get the heart pumping.

Yeah I thought about that afterwards which is again all the more reason to go back there to get them removed. Or contact the doctor and have them send over your medical records to see if somebody there is capable of doing it. If for no other reason than if you ever need to pass through a metal detector you don't set it off.

Part of me just wonders if your health wouldn't improve if these issues you had were taken care of.

Funny, because I don't remember mentioning how you should be doing curls but that's exactly it. You isolate the muscle and make sure you're only working it. Sure you're going to need to work your chest, shoulders and abs but only because your body supports itself this way. The point is, no flailing around, or giving it an extra "push" by torquing your body back and forth. If you can only do three or four partials then you need to start with a lower weight. If twenty pounds is too much, try ten. You might also consider trying different forms as they can work different muscle groups. For example there are "hammer curls" where you keep the weight so it's pointing up & down. This works the brachialis muscle underneath the bicep more. Also do things like working your triceps. Back scratchers, skull crushers, and kick backs all have their own benefits although I'd probably stick to dips at first as you'll be using your own body weight. Also consider wrist curls, both anterior and exterior (palm up and palm down) to work your forearms. 

Build up some muscle properly and you might find that exercise gets easier. 

Yeah, I'm still not convinced but I'm going to try to find a source to give it a try. It's legal where I am but I'd still like to stick to something reputable to make sure I'm getting the good stuff. Time will of course tell. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
7 Aug

to me 
The pokemon go is like modern butterfly catching or birdwatching, it's the thrill of the hunt the chase.

The reason I thought I might be bi is because I have been assumed gay because of my personality by many people. I guess whatever traits give a false positive on gaydar I have so I thought if I act gay maybe I was and just didn't know it.

I am a sexaholic I will fuck any woman that lets me. My standards for women are ridiculously low. As long as she's clean and has all her teeth or a full set of dentures and a full head of hair or a quality wig outside of that I have no physical deal breakers. As for personality as long as she's nice and doesn't hit me and isn't racist or sexist or otherwise bigoted or hateful or intolerant. Smart is preferred but not a deal breaker unless she's really really dumb and I can tolerate that if she's got a good enough heart and loves me enough.

In my fantasy body is most important but in reality idgaf about body I'm entirely heart driven.

Even if I had full use of my arm I still can't do push-ups. I can do like 10-20 sit-ups and rest an hour and do another 10-20 i can do 50 if I lay my legs down and bow them out the only reason I can do more is there is less pain. I can exercise forever as long as there isn't pain. I'm fine with discomfort but not pain. I can work out with the 20lb easily in many ways using my back and body but not if my back is straight and I use exclusively arm muscle I can't do much however if i use all my muscles I can toss it around like it's nothing.

I have been walking around much more than I used too I did some sit-ups before bed last night. I know it's not enough to show results but at least I am trying to be healthy and less sedentary. I know the only way I could really make any difference is to work out from the second I wake up until the second I collapse from exhaustion it took decades to put it on it'll take at least years to take it off. I'm trying to stay motivated.

I'm gonna go play go as soon as I get done writing you.

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
8 Aug

to James 
I've been having hearing troubles for the past few days, like my ears are stuffed with cotton or something. It's the weirdest thing. I thought that maybe I woke up with some impacted wax in my ears but nothing there. I flushed them out until I was literally dizzy and other than a small amount of wax, nothing. Took a nap and it's still there. I just don't want this to become a permanent thing.

But does everybody have the chance to catch the same one? Imagine you have a Pokemon sitting out there in the middle of a field and you and somebody else want it. Can you both snag a copy of the same one or does it disappear when the first one catches it.?

Do you get any joy from sex? Or is it just mechanical, she cums, you cum and that's it? 

Of course the body is important. Anybody that says it's not is lying, But these bodies are only ours for a short while and soon it's getting tired doing things you used to be able to do or not being able to do something that you could before. Or my favorite, getting injured by doing something stupid or unexpected. I remember my Dad throwing out his back by literally turning a little too quickly and had to be immobile for a couple of days zonked out on muscle relaxers. 

Ans that's why you're doing it wrong. The whole point of making a muscle stronger is isolation. When you do crunches the only muscles activating should be your abs. Nothing else. When you do chinups you go to full extention. No popping or "kipping" at the bottom to give you a little boost because that's not helping. 

How much are you walking? I'm not just talking distance, I'm talking time as well. Could you do three miles in an hour or would you only be able to do half that? When I started running I could barely do it for five minutes and I was already in decent shape. It took time to increase the distance and time I could be out there. Now I could run three miles in about thirty minutes or so. You need to build up your heart and give it a reason to work first before you start on trying to lose weight. 

It's a lovely afternoon. I feel like sitting on the deck.  

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
8 Aug

to me 
I'm Wow, are you congested in your nasal passages too of just the ears. If you're stuffed up your whole head I would say allergies or a mild cold if it's just the ears but no wax coming out from flushing I don't know what that would be. Have you tried picking them or using your pinky finger to act like a plunger pushing and pulling air into the canal to try to knock it loose? If you are having trouble hearing as in they need popped try saying the word mop and mawp it's a technique used by many special forces type people after an explosion or gunshot near their ear. 

I don't know, that's never occurred to me. But I would assume. 

Unless I love whom I am fucking it is just boring and mechanical. I'm just using her hole instead of my hand (and before you ask yes masturbation is also mechanical I only do it to purge it from my system so my balls don't swell and get even more over sensitive than they already are) 

However if I love her then sex is transcendentally beautiful and I enjoy it. In fact the more I love a woman the faster and harder I cum.  

I'm not lying. I have several types of women's bodies I find attractive. But I'm serious if she's got a good heart and soul bodies are not a dealbreaker I will fuck anyone female unless she is stomach turningly ugly. 

We aren't bodies with souls we are souls with bodies. 

If I don't use multiple muscle groups I can't lift an ounce.(exaggerating but not by much) however if I use my whole body I can lift 200lbs or so. And I could lift 800lbs on the leg press when I was a teenager and I only weighed 250 back then so my legs are probably much stronger now. 

I walk roughly an hour or 3 each night. So probably worthless since its only a mile an hour I'm just strolling not jogging. The pokestops are on either sides of the park and the sign says 4 laps is a mile but I do it more than that plus it's about 1/4 mile from home anyway so it is distance and endurance and leg strength low impact except for the weight of my body. I walk until the battery is nearly dead and then I go home. Even without the working out just going to the library walking around inside and walking home my pedometer clocks a mile. To me a mile is nothing. When I was a teenager I would walk 6 miles to the library to use the computer for 3 hours and walk home and I did that at least once a week. So I've always had healthy strong legs. And I'm strong in some ways actually lately I've been feeling better about myself all I want to change is my gut which I'm hoping that the exercise and less sugar will help shrink it a bit.  

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
10 Aug

to James 
Nah it's just my ears. I tried some decongestants yesterday, and they kinda sorta seemed to work. At least low tones aren't as muffled as they were so it's an improvement.

Yeah, that's just weird. While I agree that sex with a stranger or somebody you don't love is mechanical there's also usually a lot of passion there and heat. This person is new, you're on fire, you're so caught up in it. This works, this doesn't, she wants to stick her fingers in your butt, you want to smack her ass. But it's ultimately just sex. That's fucking in being the physical act of lovemaking. But when you make love it's because you love the other person and you lose yourself in them. I've might have mentioned this before but the pleasure I give my wife or girlfriend is more important than my own during those times. There have been times with my wife that she's literally taken me by the hand to the bedroom and has said something like, "I need you to fuck me now. I don't want soft. I don't want gentle. I need you to FUCK me" so I do. And there have been times I've used her in the same way. It doesn't mean I love her any less or she doesn't love me but it does mean that fucking and lovemaking can be part of the same relationship with the same person.

You've basically got low standards is what I'm hearing. I don't want to be rude here but it comes across as you'll do anybody that has a pulse because you'll get some and rationalize it afterwards. She doesn't have hair? It's okay if she has a wig. She has missing teeth? Partial dentures are good. Is she ugly? Well I didn't lose my lunch so let's go! Seriously dude, that kind of thinking will get you hurt. I'd really look up support groups in Muncie for sexual issues because what you've just said isn't normal. 

If you insist, but I don't believe in souls. When we die, we die and that's it. The afterlife can't exist and if it did, it can't exist in this universe because this universe is finite meaning it will have an end. But suppose it does exist, what does that mean for people that are there? One day the Earth will be destroyed so unless mankind finds a way to colonize other planets we're going to be wiped out in about 4 billion years or so when the sun goes red giant on us. And what happens when the proposed heat death of the universe arrives in a Googol of years? Does it still continue or does it stop continuing when all energy in the universe has reached zero and everything is at a rather chilly 0 degrees Kelvin? 

There has to be a point to everything and you mean to tell me that seventy or eighty years on this planet is somehow just the lead-up to a literal eternity somewhere else? Sounds like hell to me, even if everything is beautiful and perfect. I want no part of any of it.

Sorry but I don't believe a word of that unless you're talking about one thing and I'm talking about another. Sure you;re going to be using stabilizing muscles and the muscles needed to stand and hold yourself upright. That goes without saying but I'm just talking about the muscles needed to lift that particular weight, This is part of the reason why weight benches were created as they helped n00bs to isolate their muscles. So for a bicep curl, the only muscle you should be using to lift that is your bicep. Other muscles will be used in conjunction with that like your chest, shoulders, back and abs in different degrees but you shouldn't be activating them by moving about or using them to build momentum. That's when you wind up hurting yourself or not getting the workout you needed. As for the 800 pounds? Highly doubt it. I used to cycle all over town as a kid, literally on a Saturday morning I'd head off on my bike and wouldn't come back until it was dark outside. My max leg press when in my teens was only 600 pounds. When I was training I could do maybe five reps of 800 pounds. I doubt I could do that now though. I'm not denying that carrying that weight around can give you strong legs, the problem comes from your joints. Your knees and ankles wear out a lot faster.

Any type of physical activity is good but the best kind is the type that raises your heartbeat and keeps it there for an extended period. And when it gets easier, that's when you need to shake it up because your body gets used to certain things and certain movements. So instead of walking for an hour, walk for an hour and a half. Or instead of walking a mile an hour, try doing one and a half in the same time. The idea is that your body doesn't get into the habit of doing certain things at certain times. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
10 Aug

to me 
That's good. You know I worry. 

Well for me if I'm not in love so much that it turns into sex, the act of sex is boring. That's why I can't masturbate when I feel bad about myself because it's sex with myself and if I don't love myself cuming can hurt. 

No, it has to be full dentures partial isn't enough. But yes I practically have no standards. Hell a pulse isn't even that important (vampire joke not necrophilia).

It won't all end there will be background radiation but even then our souls get to choose what happens after death. Most people choose to reincarnate, others go to heaven for a few millennia get bored and reincarnate then that's how some kids have old souls/are precocious. Ghosts are souls that refuse to believe their dead so they hang around and then eventually they accept it and move on but leave a residue on the place they haunt if a house has enough hauntings the residue collects and forms a gestalt entity known as a poltergeist. If the majority of the spirits were nice people the poltergeist is usually a mischievous child and playful but if the deaths were violent or the spirits angry the poltergeist can feed on any negative energy of the living and become an incubus or succubus. Evil souls go to a purgatory like place basically a prison in hell wherein they are purged of the evil they accumulated in life and that evil turns into an imp if it's not much evil and a demon if there's a lot. If the person is mostly evil the good is purged and turns into a sprite a goodly spirit think casper but more humanoid. If a person is equally good and evil the evil is purged and the good part goes to heaven or reincarnates and the evil is left in hell to be punished for corrupting the good half but eventually is rehabilitated to be neutral and either gets a job torturing the truly evil souls or they reincarnate into people who are not quite right, the people who aren't evil or good just neutral and boring the people who have boring jobs but love them those kinds of people. No passion no drive happy with monotony because hey it's better than hell. However if there is a person that is evil all the way down but not through demonic corruption just they are a new soul and life turned them evil and they are unredeemable they go to hell forever, well until the end of life in this universe then the torment will end and it'll be like limbo temporarily, eventually people in heaven will get bored and choose oblivion, just to not exist anymore and all the souls in purgatory will be given heaven until they tire of it and then the most corrupt will be given heaven until they tire of it until the very last soul to ever exist takes all the spiritual energy residue and gathers it all together and merges with it and then pulls all the energy from the sleeping souls in oblivion and all the background radiation and everything and travels back to the beginning and restarts the whole universe over again. That's why God is evil in the beginning of the bible he's shaking off the residue of the evil from the last time he existed but eventually he mellows and becomes the loving accepting architect of the universe he didn't start the universe it never had a beginning it's a self contained causality loop that is always slightly different from before but always eventually resets itself.

Sorry about that ^ I don't even know what I wrote I just let my imagination wander and let the universe speak through me. 

Have I mentioned that I'm nuts? Lol. 

The 800 was either one lift or lift 600 and have someone add until your legs collapse and mine did at 800 total and that's my record. One day I went in and talked to the coach and asked to see my limits I lay down on the press he asked me how much I weigh and he put that on I said too easy he put on more and I said still too easy he put on more I said okay that's a bit difficult but I can do it he put on more I summoned all my might got it up there and said I can't do more, he said Okay there's 800 on there that's impressive. He started taking it off and when it got to easy again he told me it was 600 and I was curious so I pushed it up and asked him to put on the weight as i was holding it up and when my legs collapse stop and I was able to still hold at 800 but he put a 10 plate and I folded. All my strength is in my legs. Even before I broke my arm I couldn't bench the bar without weight on it and that's only 45 lbs. Certain muscles in my body don't grow. I can get gains in my arms and back but not my shoulders in the region that activates when you bench press or push-up. I can lift a 200 lb person in a bear hug no problem but I can't lift 45 pounds off of me. A 90lb girl could pin me down and sit on my shoulders and I can't get her off me unless I twist and use my arms I can do 20 sit-ups a day for a month and then on day 31 if you put a weight on my chest I can't sit up. I can only get stronger in certain areas and even that is a long slow painful process. Thank goodness for pokemon go or else I would barely walk. I'm very sedentary unless there's a reason or prize. Used to be the prize was the possibility of food or cool junk in the dumpsters around my area now the prize is supplies and eggs at pokestops. I'm probably not any healthier but I feel better and I'm getting fresh air and my legs are getting some muscle tone back. I'm not losing as much weight as I thought I would but I'm starting to think that now that I'm 30 I can't lose weight anymore just get a healthy inside inside the fat because you can be healthy at any size. So I'm going to focus on getting healthy for my size not focus on getting smaller, if I lose weight yippee but that's not going to be my endgoal I'm going to get back into shape and make my lungs and heart strong enough that I can run more than 3 blocks without feeling like I'm gonna die. 

I tend to go slow because if I go fast I get bored and go home but if I take my time I can listen to podcasts and music and enjoy the scenery and that's the whole point. If all I'm doing is working out for the sake of working out then I just want to get it over with but if I'm having fun and the fun is coincidentally exercise then I can do it for hours. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
11 Aug

to James 
Said it before and I'll say it again, you're weird. How sex could ever be boring is beyond me. The sensations are intense not to mention really pleasurable. Sure there might be times I'm not in the mood for it but that changes partway through. It's not like suddenly I enjoyed it and should have done it before. It was actually like I could have not done it and been just as satisfied but I'm not angry that I did it. Same goes for my wife. We have an agreement that if one of us wants it, we ask for it and unless there's pressing reasons why we can't, then we do. Same for masturbation, It's just the effect of getting off and I'll admit that sometimes it's better than sex because there's no fuss. Just ten minutes or so in front of the PC and some lube. Then once it's over, I can get back to whatever it was I was doing. 

Why would partial dentures be a problem? If somebody was in an accident and got a couple teeth knocked out from it and wears dentures, you wouldn't want to be with them? What about dental implants that screw right into the bone and are very tough and durable? 

No, there won't be any background radiation. That's what the heat death means. There's no atomic motion going on, entropy has finally taken hold. The last true stars burned out. The last of the white dwarfs winked out. The last of the supermassive black holes have evaporated into nothingness. There is no motion. There is no atoms doing their little dance. The universe is dead but heaven continues. 

And I'm sorry, but all that bit about souls is just bullshit. There is no soul. There are no ghosts. There are no poltergeists, demons, incubi or succubi. And the reason God was such a bastard in the OT and such a hippie in the NT is because he's a different God. The god of the OT or Yahweh, was a Stone Age war god. He delighted in the killing and murdering and sacrifices. This was his thing. The God in the NT, or Elohim, is the kinder, gentler God who loves you and all his children. Every tribe back in the day had their god. Some were the children of Yahweh and went about killing people because that's what he liked. They moved to another land and this wasn't the land of Yahweh, it was the land of Ba'al because there lived the tribe that worshiped Ba'al. And so they smote those guys because Yahweh demanded it. Took their land, took their cattle, killed all the men, women and children but kept the virgins for themselves. 

The whole "healthy at any size" is very wrong. Yes it's possible to be as healthy as you can be at 300 pounds but you'll never be as healthy as somebody who is only 200 pounds. And you can lose weight at any time, just saying because you're 30 and can't do it anymore means you're giving up before you even try. I'm not going to try to convince you to do anything you don't want to do but the only thing I ask is that you don't make up excuses for not trying. Okay?

And if it's "work" you can't enjoy it which means you don't want it. Exercise isn't supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to make you wonder why the hell you're dragging your ass out of bed at 5am to run when your wife is curled up under the covers and you'd rather join her. If you truly wanted to you'd do it regardless. So this means you don't want it and that means I'm not going to push it anymore because there's no point.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
12 Aug

to me 
It can be boring because my penis is very insensitive so unless the girls ph balance is tingling me or she is tight it just feels like shoving my cock in a warm wet sock. The humping is fun as a stim behavior (autism thing look it up) but really sex is not the best thing in the world to me. Suckling and love is far more satisfying. A woman can make me much happier stroking my ego instead of my penis. I'm aroused by my mind more than my genitals. I actually can have an orgasm from fingering a girl and making her cum because of the ego trip and control I have over her. I fisted a girl once she came so hard I spontaneously ejaculated no penile touch at all. I enjoy the playing and the other parts of the sex games way more than piv in fact most times the pleasure of piv overloads the pleasure centers in my brain and I have to play through the pain until I begin to tolerate it and then I can cum. 

Partials would be a no go because of the snaggletooth appearance when they're removed. The permanent ones would be ok. It isn't the teeth themselves it's the aesthetically displeasing sight of a few missing and a few still there. No teeth or full set no stragglers. It's a symmetry thing. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
12 Aug

to me 
I'm going to do more reading but please explain more about elohim I thought that was just one of the dozens of names of the judaic abrahamic God. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
12 Aug

to me 
If exercise always sucks and there's nothing that makes it fun why would anyone do it? Dancing is fun, but do it long enough and/or hard enough it's exercise that's the whole premise of sweating to the oldies. 

I'm sorry that you hate exercise so much that you can't conceive of a scenario where it's fun.   

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
14 Aug

to James 
Finally felt good today. Not that I've been feeling bad but I just haven't been feeling myself lately. There was just something off, I don't know what it was but I wake up this morning and felt good. Well rested, calm and relaxed. Look over at my wife who's gently snoring next to me. I had to give her a small kiss on the cheek. She comes to a little confused but sees me and smiles. Kiss good morning, a little snuggle and I'm up to make breakfast. 

I felt good so breakfast had to be good. It's the law and since it's a weekend I figure why not something nice? Half an hour later, there's two orders of Eggs Benedict but made with smoked salmon instead of ham, some home fries, fruit & coffee. My wife asks what's the occasion, I say nothing but if it's a problem I can take it away. She says she'll let me get away with it this time. 

Did all the Saturday morning stuff like washing and a general tidy of the place. Asked my wife what she wants for lunch. She makes a comment about even though I'm making breakfast and lunch today she's not putting out for me later. I say that's okay, I know where she sleeps and I'll just molest her then. Lunch was a warm grilled chicken ceasar salad. I offered her some wine but she refused and said that due to my condition and I can't drink for at least the next six months until they're sure there's no permanent damage, she's going to be abstaining from the alcohol as well. I said it was sweet but no need. She asked for some lime seltzer water instead. Lovely woman.

And then this afternoon we watched "Time Bandits" on TV in honor of Kenny Baker who was best known as the guy that was inside R2D2 and died earlier today. Personally he was always "Fidget" from "Time Bandits" for me. 

And finally dinner was a cedar planked salmon with grilled asparagus, onions and peppers and garlic mashed potatoes. She looks at me and asked if there was anything for dessert but I hadn't thought of it but figured we could find something. She comes over to me, kneels down and proceeds to play with my dick and give me a blowjob to completion. It's not something she does often but occasionally she enjoys it. Needless to say, she got her dessert and later on I got mine as well so everybody was happy. 

Again, you're weird but this doesn't make any sense. You say your penis is insensitive but you must feel something because you've said before that sometimes the feelings are too intense and you can't handle them. If you're with somebody you love does your penis somehow feel better or more sensitive? And I've mentioned I've got a touch of Aspergers. I know what stimming is. Although how you can come without touching it is kinda impressive. 

So leave the partials in when you do it. Who says you need to take them out during sex? 

It might not be Elohim but the "thousand" names of God were for the most part the names of other gods in that area. Are you aware that God had a wife? In the Torah there's a lot of things mentioned that never made it into the Old Testament. Such as Eve being the second woman created. The first was named Lilith and she was created like Adam was but she saw herself as being equal and wanted to get on top during sex. This was a nono so she was banished, became the Mother of Demons because God is a bastard and Eve was created from Adam meaning he's above her and he's the one that gets on top for figuratively and literally. But back to God's wife.

In the Torah there's a goddess mentioned by the name of Asherah. She was edited out of the bible and forgotten because it implied certain things about God namely that he had sex after all what else was a woman good for back then?

And as for Elohim being the god of the New Testament, again, maybe it's not based on him so much as it's based on another God during that time who was a lot nicer than Yahweh. But the guys who followed Yahweh basically converted everybody to their way of thinking either by force or by numbers. As such he's the one people refer to even though he was a literal war god. 

Another example of this can be seen in the holidays we celebrate. Easter is the celebration of Jesus rising from the grave, a rebirth or renewal as it were. That's why it's odd that during that time of the year there was another festival going on of rebirth using all sorts of symbols of fertility like rabbits and eggs and flowers. Sound familiar? Then there was that celebration at the end of the year where people went around singing songs, giving presents, decorating trees, eating, drinking and fucking to excess. We're told this is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. But it's also the Roman festival of Saturnalia. That and the celebration of Sol Invictus or the Conquering Sun. For the longest time the Sun kept swinging further and further north every day and the days became progressively shorter. But on Dec 21st, suddenly the sun stopped his northern trip and started going south again, the days getting longer and bringing life for another year. When did the Twelve Days of Christmas start? Dec 21st. How long did they last? 12 days obviously. When did they finish? Jan 1st or the New Year. It's all tied together. All of these old Pagan holidays were repackaged and repurposed by the Christian Church as a way of celebrating Jesus. People didn't care, they still had their holidays and didn't mind if it meant instead of toasting Saturn, they'd toast Jesus. Or instead of worshipping Ishtar or Oestre they'd instead celebrate Easter and the resurrection of Jesus. 

There's a lot of shit the old church pulled in order to expand their control. Read up on the Council of Nicea and how 400 years after Jesus was supposedly born that they made the decision, in council, that he was the literal son of God and not the "son" in the sense that we were all children of God. Or how they finalized the bible and decided which books to include in the true version of it.

I don't hate exercise so much as I don't really like it. I don't get a runner's high like others do. I need some sort of distraction as I'm working out otherwise I'm bored out of my skull and watching the clock to make sure I'm doing it long enough. But to answer your question, you do it because it's necessary. Why go to school and learn stuff that you might never learn? You do it because it's necessary. Why eat a salad or something low in fat when a cheeseburger tastes so much better? You do it because it's necessary. Why take medicine that tastes nasty when you can choose just not to take it at all? You do it because it's necessary.

Exercise is needed by the body to keep it running, We are built for it and these lives we lead with fast food, too much sitting at work or at home, video games, driving everywhere, is bad for us. It's more convenient to go and get yourself a TV dinner at the local Safeway then nuke it and eat it in front of the TV while watching some stupid sitcom where the damn laugh track keeps twittering whenever anything happens. But you're also eating a lot of sodium, fat and other things that you shouldn't while numbing your mind with something inane. There's nothing actually wrong with that but it's not good for you. 

Good for you is eating something that might have taken you half an hour to make but lets you control how much salt and fat go into it. Good for you is good conversation while you eat. Talk about your day to your friends or loved ones. Sure you can watch TV later but try to find something better than the "Big Bang Theory". I hate that show. 

There are times we need to do things that we don't want to do but are necessary to do. Exercise, at least for me, is one of these things. However I get benefits from it like I'm disgustingly healthy as my doctor puts it. My blood pressure is excellent and this is considering that high blood pressure runs on both sides of my family. My cholesterol is great. The good stuff is high and the bad stuff is low. I don't get tired easily. I don't need to rest every thirty minutes if I'm exerting myself. I've got a resting heart rate in the mid-50's which means I'm good to go for a long life. There's a limited amount of beats for the average human heart and by making it stronger and more efficient, it has to work less which means beat less which can add up. And I can also eat whatever I want because it's not going to hurt me. I'll have a second helping of dessert simply because I can. We'll order pizza one night and I'll wind up eating half of it without worrying.   

Finally as for migraines, I've heard of it but I don't do botox. That's a toxin and I prefer to keep as many of those things out of my body as I can.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
14 Aug

to me 
Glad to hear you're doing better.

Yes it changes sensitivity with my moods. If I'm depressed I can't feel it but if I'm in love or otherwise happy the volume gets turned up. Yeah I know that being able to cum from stimulus of the brain is rare but it's the truth. I have actually laid still in my bed just thinking about a particular fantasy for a while and had orgasms before. The spontaneous ejaculation has only happened once, unless you count wet dreams in that case 5 times total in my life counting the one where I was fisting the girl. 

I thought ashira was the female aspect of god I didn't know she was a separate entity. The vulcan salute is actually a jewish hand  gesture calling upon the female aspect of god requesting a blessing Leonard Nimoy saw it in temple as a boy and adapted it for Spock. (I know that was apropos of nothing it just reminded me of it) I already knew about the committee of nicea. Great swaths of the bible were left out. Actually much of the apocrypha is more interesting and entertaining than the actual bible.   

Have you tried listening to podcasts when you exercise? I can download a few and walk for hours without realizing it because I'm on autopilot and paying attention to the podcast and they're usually an hour and I can breeze through 2 or 3 in one walk. 

I know this'll be hard to believe but if I don't have a lot of sodium intake my arthritis acts up real bad. Idk how or why. I have tried cutting salt out of my diet and within 5-7 days my hands and cramping and my back feels like I've been sleeping on gravel but if I use salt the arthritis only happens when it's about to rain. 

I LOVE LOVE LOVE big bang theory. I'm basically sheldon but with wolowitz's lust. The jokes are funny and I have a crush on miyam bialik, I've lusted after her since Blossom. Also Bernadette has nice big boobies and those are fun to stare at. I just have a few gripes with the show but they're small things I can overlook. 

I've pretty much decided that I'll exercise a little bit each day just to keep from wheezing and to stay relatively healthy and happy but I'm not going to do it so much I'm hurting. My legs are killing me so I'm going to rest up until they don't hurt anymore before I start walking around as much again. I'm enjoying clearer lungs since I've started walking around more I actually was starting to worry about emphysema the way I was wheezing but it has stopped so that's good. I know I'm never going to be healthy again but I can at the very least not be unhealthy and just be in the middle. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
16 Aug

to James 
I felt better but these things don't last because today I was having such trouble keeping my eyes open. Have you ever had one of those days? You wake up in the morning and just can't wake up even after two cups of coffee and when you stop doing anything feel your eyes closing and your chin dipping? That's how it was for me today. It's something my doctor says is going to happen from time to time. They don't fully understand the brain yet but unless it becomes endemic or happens all the time and I literally can't wake up, not to worry about it. So I took a nap this morning. Woke up around noon and fumbled around for something to eat. Nothing caught my eye and I remembered I had some chili in the freezer. I always make a big pot of this stuff and wind up freezing half it it in individual containers so it's available for a quick bite. Yeah I know it's hot outside but the nights are nice and cool and we've got air conditioning so who cares? A bit later I was feeling tired again so I took another nap for a couple hours and had enough time to make dinner for my lovely wife and now it's just after 10 pm and I'm not sleepy. We specifically had sex tonight, she's blissfully sleeping off the orgasms and I'm stuck here on the internet. I think I'll watch a movie after this. 

I know I say this a lot but that's weird. I don't care how much I'm not in the mood or am in the mood, somebody starts playing with my dick and I want it. I might not be into it or I might not be really enthusiastic at the start but partway through it's just feeling too good to care. Oh here's a bit of news, my wife needs to leave town for a few days due to work, guess who's coming over to make sure I don't die and in the process fuck my brains out? That's right my girlfriend. She's still in Vancouver until September or something, we were supposed to get together about two weeks ago but my nearly dying kinda put a crimp on that. And one thing that we've always done is respect the boundaries. So while they've met and occasionally they converse my wife and my girlfriend don't really interact and they don't really want to. After the accident she wanted to come down right away. Her special little man had been hurt and might have died but my wife said no. Now however, as she's gone for a few days I asked her if it was okay if she came down and stayed with me because I'm not supposed to be alone at the moment. Seriously, they tell me for the next few months until they're sure everything is good, I should be with somebody at all times for my protection. My wife's only condition was she doesn't sleep in our bed. That's our space, not anybody else's. So she'll be spending time in one of the guest rooms.

This is part of the problem. Ashera has been interpreted to be different things because it messes with Christianity. God is not supposed to have a wife, he's the one and the only one. If he has a wife then suddenly it's no longer monotheistic even if nobody prays to or worships her. She she's either written out or, as you say, his "female" aspect. It's like the concept of the Triune God. We're told he's the only one but we also have Jesus and we also have the Holy Ghost or the Holy Spirit. All three of them are part of the same thing. All three of them are the same thing. But all three are separate at the same time. It's a way of combining monotheism with polytheism. And I knew about the Vulcan salute coming from a blessing the Rabbi does to the congregation. And actually it's not the female aspect of God but a representation of the Hebrew letter "shin" which is the first letter in the word "Shaddai" which means Lord. So the Rabbi is blessing them with the symbol of the Lord. And I agree that what was not included in the bible is sometimes more interesting in what was included. Just out of curiosity, when did you start to question your religion? I was never really raised in it although I was baptized and we did have to go to Sunday School and I went to a Catholic school for the first five years before going to a secular junior high. Let me tell you, nothing prepared me for that. 

Nah, I can't focus on something like that when I exercise. I need brain candy when I do so I either listen to some music, I've got bunch of specific workout jams that I have or I watch TV if one is available or watch a movie on my tablet if I can't see the TV. If I have to focus on the words and what somebody is talking about I wind up not focusing on the workout, The music or the movie give enough of a distraction that I'm not looking at the clock waiting for it to count down but don't get in the way of what I'm doing. Same thing when I drive. I need music, not an audiobook or podcast. It's the next best thing to having somebody there in the seat next to you and you're just road tripping. God I miss road tripping. Just you and a friend, take off in your car, no plan, no direction, no destination. Just the two of you and an almost endless array of possibilities. Me and my girlfriend managed to find a great beach once in doing that. It was quiet, out of the way, not too busy, very relaxing. 

Yeah that is hard to believe because sodium is something you're supposed to avoid if you have arthritis. And too much of it can trigger an attack of rheumatoid arthritis, My great aunt had that. Poor thing. Every joint in her body was swollen and some of her joints were "rusted" shut to the point where she couldn't move them. Her hands were so stiff that she was barely able to grasp a fork, or raise a glass to her lips. She had to be careful with her sodium or else she'd be in more pain. My guess is that it's not arthritis so much as it's something else. But sodium is necessary to your body, You're not supposed to cut it out completely unless your doctor says you should  so what might be happening is you're going below what you need and finally after 5-7 days your body has used up what it has and isn't functioning properly anymore. That makes a little more sense than, "sodium is good for my arthritis."

The writing on that show is garbage and the presence of the laugh track makes it impossible for me to watch it for any length of time. Do me a favor, search out "Big Bang Theory without laugh track" on Youtube. It becomes one of the most lame things you've ever seen. And this is coming from a professed nerd here. I get the references they make. I can see bits of myself in Sheldon and Leonard but I can't make it through a complete episode without sneering and wanting to punch one or all of them. 

Good for you. I've always said that a little bit of exercise a day is better than none at all. And on the bright side at least you don't smoke. Trying to do all this while smoking would be difficult enough so you've already got an edge. Keep going, I know you can succeed. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
16 Aug

to me 
I'm the opposite, if I'm not horny a woman can blow me hard climb on and ride til i ejaculate but I won't orgasm. 

Have they ever...?

I stopped believing in god at 16 when the depression made me suicidal and I realized a loving God would not let one of his children feel that sad. I completely abandoned him at 24 so I can have premarital sex without guilt. Up until then I was saving myself for marriage I legitimately thought I would marry the girl I lost my virginity to (the 9 yo). 

I need something to distract me from the pain so I let their words wash over me and let my body go on autopilot and meander around. I actually looked up once I was miles from home having totally forgotten how I got there. 

Hmm, I wonder what I have that joint pain is relieved by salt.  

Do you like Last Man On Earth? Waiting for the new season is killing me. 

I do smoke. One or 2 cigarettes a day and those I only take a few drags put out and save the rest for later. Sometimes 5 and on my most stressed 7 is the most I have ever smoked in one day. I actually told a doctor that once and she said "I'll just put nonsmoker because you barely smoke" apparently there's a medically accepted amount of tobacco. I'm sorry if that disappoints you. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
16 Aug

to James 
Talk about awkward. My wife leaves this morning at just after 9am. I give my girlfriend a shout and she's here in no time at all. I swear she was down the street at Dunkin Donuts just waiting for my call. She drops everything, speeds over and  few minutes later she's in my arms. Well she's got one thing on her mind and I want to bring her to the guest room but no, she wants to do it there. Literally she's dropping her clothes in the hallway, I manage to get her to the kitchen where at least there's chairs and an island. She grabs my clothes and practically tears them off before lurching for my dick. I don't really need it because she's gotten me hard already but she likes sucking me off or at least getting me ready that way. Stands up, leans over the kitchen island and shakes her butt. I have to give her pussy a kiss. It's been a long time and I can see she's more than just wet. I just give her a kiss and slow lick and she's moaning. But there's no time to waste, slide right in. And we're just enjoying the moment of being joined when I hear the front door open and my wife call out, "be right back". She walks in, sees us naked and in the middle of fucking and there's an awkward silence for a moment. She grabs something left on the island and without saying goodbye or kissing me goodbye leaves. It's not that she was angry so much as she wasn't expecting it. I think we might have some words when she gets back. But somebody put those kegels to use and I'm soon getting an inner pussy massage which brings me back to life. We fuck, I come buckets inside her. She says she missed me and we;re off to the shower to get clean. Before jumping into bed again. It's a theme when we get together that the first day is usually spent fucking or in bed. 

And I'm going to guess you're asking if her and my wife ever slept together? Fuck no. Have you been paying attention? They tolerate each other because of me. My wife agreed to this because it was the occasional thing, maybe a couple times  a year we'd get together for a weekend or whatever. My girlfriend only agreed to this because I wanted something permanent in my life that she couldn't offer. My wife is also not a lesbian and she's too much of a woman for my girlfirend's tastes. So no. They've never had sex and they never will. To ask that is just creepy.

You can cum without orgasming? Seriously? Again. You're fucking weird.

So you got rid of god in your life to have sex and not feel guilty about it? Did you believe in him at that time because if so, that's incredibly stupid. If I knew for a fact there was a magical man living in the clouds that could send me to hell for disobeying him I'd be sure to be following every single one of his rules, praising his name and doing everything in my power to stay on his good side. But that's just me and my views considering that I don't believe in him and find there's no evidence for his existence. And so long as I live a good life and don't fuck anybody over, what I do it my business and nobody else's.

Walking for you is painful? Is it just the joints or is it your muscles that are feeling it? Joints, unfortunately, short of taking Glucoscamine you can't really do much about but if it's the muscles they might just not be ready for this and you might need to work your way up to it.

Never saw it. I don't really watch TV. Occasionally there's something on Netflix.

I'm not disappointed that you smoke but you really shouldn't. It's bad for you and it's also expensive. You could save some money if you didn't. And while you're not a heavy or regular smoker and the occasional cigarette can have a cumulative effect.

Okay, timer is almost ready to ring and I've got dinner to finish prepping so talk to you later. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
17 Aug

to me 
Thanks a lot for the boner /s. 

Yes I can orgasm without ejaculation the inverse is also true, while the majority of the time they're simultaneously that is not always the case. 

I'm sorry if the question was creepy I thought we were close enough that you wouldn't mind. 

Speaking of questions, other than just "baked macaroni" is there any name for a lasagna made with elbow macaroni instead of lasagna noodles because Mom made that for dinner last night. 

The pain in my legs is my hamstrings and calve muscles and its also my knees and ankles and the tendons on the outside of my legs inbetween the knee and ankle not the Achilles tendon that's surprisingly uninjured. And the soles of my feet felt like demons were under the floor pounding them with sledgehammers with every step but that I blame on wearing my sandals in the rain and slipping and having to run for the bus. My legs feel better today, my calves are still a bit tight but I think that's just new muscle. I stopped eating sugar on the 1st I weighed 309.2Lbs and on the 15th I got back on the scale and was still exactly 309.2Lbs so I give up. I'm still not drinking soda except maybe the odd one because I actually feel better so it may be the cutting the chemicals making me feel better. I have been less angry but at the same time more depressed but happily less suicidal I know that doesn't make much sense but it's true, I feel sadder but I'm also more optimistic that the sadness will fade eventually. It's weird. I'm also sleeping more than usual but it's a more restful sleep and I'm actually awake longer too. I'm falling deeper into the pits of despair but I'm also climbing out of them faster too. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
17 Aug

to James 
She's a spitfire that one. The first day is always the most intense and we rarely get the chance to breathe. It's just this pent up desire we have and by the third day we're back to normal so to speak and maybe only doing it twice but still spending a lot of time together. I've always joked that we're like newlyweds when we get together. It's really hot and heavy for a few days then we come back to reality. Had to go out for supplies this morning. She was driving of course and I made it a point to go out further to a supermarket far away from our normal one. The last thing we need is somebody recognizing me there and gossiping about how the happily married man is carrying on with another woman when his wife is out of town. Nothing else really special. We just finished working out and I literally mean working out. That's not a euphemism for sex. She's in the shower and I've got lunch prepping right now so figure I could belt this out in no time and get back to it when I need to. Lunch today will be a marinated grilled chicken with grilled veggies.

Yeah, I don't think I need to say it anymore but you're weird. 

It's not that you asked the question, it's that you thought the two of them would get together and lez out. My wife is a woman with a womanly body. She's curvy with a little bit of extra padding. She's still got a figure and she exercises but she's got a big ass and a really nice rack. My girlfriend likes them slim and small breasted / hipped. She will try to get the closest she can get legally to somebody underage. One of her favorite porn stars is some Asian girl who I swear I thought was a kid. I forget her name right now but she's totally flat up top and has no ass of which to speak. There are others as well but her whole thing is underage or at least as young and young looking as she can get. I've mentioned that she's gone to SE. Asia and South America specifically for that reason. She's lucky in that regard because most of the ones that go to fuck a child are men. They never really think of women as being sexual predators. So please, that's a line that neither of them are willing to cross, I've never asked them and I will never ask them to do this.

Weird, made a quick and dirty version of that last night. But yes there is a dish like that but it's not so much macaroni as it is most kinds of pasta. There's a dish out there called "pasta al forno" or literally "pasta in the oven" or just "oven pasta". You treat it like lasagne except instead of it being a marinara sauce you typically use garden fresh tomatoes and fresh mozzarella. Build it in layers. I like to add some fresh torn basil to it so it cooks up nicely with the tomatoes. Then a little bit of shredded parmesan or romano on top. Again fresh if you can get it, in a bag is okay but that stuff in the green can I'd avoid completely. When made well with quality ingredients it's something wonderful. An American version of that is "baked ziti" which can include ground beef but doesn't have to.

Maybe it's the way you're walking that's causing this or you're using the wrong shoes. Trust me that the right shoes and gait makes a huge difference. Shoes should be comfortable and have enough support and cushioning especially when you're plus sized as you are. You're carrying a lot of weight and that's murder on your joints and muscles. On the plus side if you ever lose it, you're going to have some motherfucking strong legs. And no, that's not "new muscle". That's just fatigue poisons that build up in your muscles. It's called "lactic acid" and it means that you worked them. Your best bet is to drink a lot of water and not sit around. You need to stretch them and keep them active but don't try to do too much. Take it easy, maybe walk for half an hour or just stretch them instead. 


Like to stay and chat but it's almost noon so I got to run. Later. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
18 Aug

to me 
Well if I had to guess I would think that would be either amai liu or Kitty Katzu aka kitty jung not to be confused with kitty yung or kitty young. 

So can lactic acid cause muscle to hurt for 2-3 days? It just finally stopped hurting. I'm gonna go walk downtown and look around playing pokemon go in just hatching eggs now. If I catch any that's cool but that's not why I'm walking. It's been really dry and then it rained like crazy the past few days so I don't have to mow maybe for 2 days and that's only if the weather stays dry. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
18 Aug

to James 
That's it? Two lines? Nothing else to say? 

I tell you things and give you a play by play but you're back to some half-hearting responding like it's some kind of chore. And this is coming from the guy that when I took more than a day to respond once was worried I had left. If anything this kind of replying will cause me to leave. It makes me feel like I'm an afterthought or just there for the fuck of it. If you want to stop this then please let me know and I'll be happy to leave you alone.

It was originally supposed to be our last night together but I got a strange call from my wife saying that she'd be delayed and wouldn't be back until Saturday afternoon. I asked if everything was okay but she just said the conference is going on longer than they had thought and her company wants to do a team building exercise on Friday to boost teamwork or something and that means another night and if my girlfriend could stay another night. The only proviso is that she be gone by three o'clock on Saturday because my wife should be showing up shortly thereafter. I don't know. This feels weird and really out of place. Maybe it's just my paranoia speaking but I think when she saw me balls deep inside another woman it affected her. It's not like she didn't know about it before, but this just made it "real". I'm probably overthinking things because she said she likes those times she's alone, it's like a mini-vacation for her and she's always so happy to see me back that she gets very amorous because she missed me. 

It could be one of those but I don't want to check or really go down that route. I prefer my women to look like women. But there's a model out there that she's really liking right about now. She's been on the cover of Vogue and there are some pictures of her on my GF's camera that she saved. She admits to using them for masturbation reasons and I can kinda understand why. She's gorgeous. Her name is Kristina Pimenova and she practically has a perfect face. Literally the face of an angel. Take a look for yourself.

What do you think? Personally I think that is one seriously pretty young woman who's probably going to grow up to be an incredibly beautiful woman. That is so long as puberty isn't cruel to her. Honestly I think it's her eyes that really do it for me but she's got great features. 

Yes. Lactic acid can cause your muscles to be sore for 2-3 days but I've always called it a good pain. It reminds me that I've found a muscle or a group of muscles that I haven't worked or I've been able to work harder. Stretch, drink water and keep at it. Eventually the pain goes away and usually doesn't come back until you up the intensity. It's like this. When I started working out, and I mean really getting serious about it, I wound up doing a lot of cardio and weight training. The cardio wasn't too bad but the weights were hard. I started off with two sets of dumbbells. One set of 10 pounds and one set of 20 pounds. The lighter ones I used for the triceps and for those muscles that I never really used. And it was good I started low because I couldn't even make it through 3 sets of 10 reps with those. My triceps were sore for the next few days but I kept at it, making sure to rest them for a day between bouts. Then as time went on the 10 pound got easier to use so I switched it up to the twenty pound and again had trouble finishing 3 sets of 10 reps. My biceps, again, I had trouble with 3 sets of 10 using the twenty pounders but eventually the soreness went away and I was able to crank them out without issue. Got some higher weights and worked out until I was doing my triceps with 25 pounds and the biceps with 50. I kept it there because I didn't want to get too huge. Already, with all that along with push ups, crunches, using the machines in the exercise room and free weights I had gone from a size 40 chest to a size 46. Maybe a 44 now depending on the cut as I'm not actively trying to grow muscle anymore. 

Long story short, it gets better but you can't let it stop you. You have to push through the pain, it will suck for a couple of days but you can't just sit on your butt and wait for it to go away. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
19 Aug

to me 
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be glib I just don't want to bore you with the minutiae of my life. 

Even when I have a busy day writing it out reduces it to the boring set of inconsequential existence it is. But here goes.

I was going through my Facebook the other day and I got a message from the girls mother that was a month old but somehow I had missed it until I was in a specific place on fb, anyway it was about kiwifarms and we got to talking and apparently the girl had not been molested before me by her dad I really was her first but her father was a sex offender and the mom was letting her stay with him which is how she lost custody it wasn't because of what I did, it turns out he molested her at 14 and that's how the mom got her back I don't know all the details. Anyway I apologized for ruining the girls life and the mom said I didn't that her father had. We talked a little more and it ended nicely and it's all good now. You have no idea how much that lifted off my shoulders. The pain and the guilt I had I've never slept better. 

Ok other than that I went to the three close together pokestops and got enough to level up and when I leveled up I got a lure module and the next night I deployed it I yelled out I had and a guy gave me a free cigarette to thank me for the lure. After the lure went out I went to the bp and bought two green chili burritos to try they were delicious and I also watched almost human (the show) for the first time it's pretty good. Then I went to bed and slept for 3 hours and then used the bathroom for an hour and then went back to sleep for  11 hours and woke up I was paralyzed for an hour and then I got up and started checking my messages and I found yours and started replying. 

That's pretty much all that's happened since we last spoke except I walked 5.95 miles instead of 3.xx like usual and now my ankle tendons feel like they're one strong hit away from snapping. 

I hope that your wife wasn't actually upset. I'm the paranoid type so I won't make it worse by saying what I think.

Yes I have heard of kristina pimenova images of her have often been fluffers. I don't/can't masturbate to little girls. But much as a teaser horse gets the stallion riled up before fucking a mare that is how little girls work on me. They turn me on but are inadequate to aid in masturbation for that I need an adult woman. 

I know I know "weird" but it's the truth. I'm not really a pedophile or anything little girls may put the key in the ignition and turn on the radio but it takes woman to turn the engine over. Does that make sense? 

You have way more will power than me both in starting and in stopping. If I worked out like that and saw any gains like you do I wouldn't be able to stop myself until an injury. I would keep going until I reached the maximum my body could do. But I'm too lazy to get started. And even when I get up the gumption to get started if I don't see results in 2 weeks of hard work I give up. I have been walking at least 3 miles a day for 2 weeks and I have not lost an ounce. I'm feeling better and looking better and my tummy flap is gone I'm still fat but the skin isn't sagging. I'm starting to think that I should give up trying to lose weight numerically and just concentrate on feeling better. So after my tendons heal I'm going back to the short distances but I'm going to try going faster to build up my cardiovascular system instead of the muscles. I was trying to build up endurance when I should have been developing speed. I'm already fast for a fat guy but I can be faster if I work at it. Just gotta be optimistic. 

It's always good to talk to you joe. I'm sorry if I don't open up much I just don't want to bore you. I'm kinda guarded unless I'm writing poetry or explaining a complex set of emotions or feelings etc.

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
19 Aug

to James 
It's not boring. It sets the scene. It's like I'm not going to talk about my job or stuff like that because it's dry and boring and not glamorous or interesting in any way. But I will talk about stuff that happened even if what happened I don't feel is that interesting. It's like the other day after we're done I go out for a beer with a friend from work. We sit there and we shoot the shit for a while, talk shop, mention things that have happened. Comment on the waitresses ass and generally just engage in male bonding. Think about how uninteresting it would be if I went there and my friend just said two things in response and for the rest of the time we sat there in stony silence? I'm not asking for amazing stuff because let's face it, there's nothing amazing in either one of our lives but that doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Talk to me about Pokemon Go. Talk to me about something you tried. Maybe you attempted to make something in the kitchen and it didn't turn out right. Maybe you struck up a convo with that cute cashier at the Supermarket and it went really well. You know... stuff. 

Did the girl's mother contact you because she read the Kiwifarms stuff? I'm wondering who tipped her off or did she just google your name and that's what came up out of it. You know what you could do? Take a screenshot and post that to Kiwifarms and show them that. I don't know if it would do any good but it might take some of the wind out of their sails so to speak. 

I'll be honest I don't really "get" Pokemon. But I do understand the app is giving people an excuse to walk which means more exercise which is never a bad thing in my book. Just this morning I finally get her to the gym instead of us doing aerobics and stuff. Got a good sweat going and while it wasn't a personal best I did do a good hour on the elliptical machine at medium intensity and burned about 1000 calories. Not that I believe the amounts the machine comes up with but it's quick and dirty guide. The GF looked good in her workout togs and she really worked the room. She's such a tease at times. I think she was looking for a new "friend" but didn't look like she succeeded although there were a couple of meatheads that tried to give her their number. I couldn't help but laugh. She'd flirt with those guys especially if it meant getting what she wants but would never in a thousand years want to sleep with any of them.  We get back home and fuck. Working out always makes us horny for some reason. I think I get too much testosterone in my system during that time but who cares? So long as you have a very willing partner...

Tendons are like steel springs and your Achilles tendon is possibly one of the strongest parts of your body. No word of a lie. I've seen pictures of a man who had been eaten by polar bears. The legs had been practically stripped clean but the Achilles tendon was still intact. If a 2000 pound polar bear can't chew through one of those things, I doubt walking is going to do any damage to it. Although it could be an inflammation. Is it just sore or does it actually hurt when you move it?

Actually I'd like to hear what you think happened. I have an idea of what it might be. My GF has an idea that is close to mine and I'd be interested in hearing what a third party has to say. You're not really in the loop so to speak so you don't really have any preconceptions where all this is concerned. What that means is sometimes, from the outside, you have a better view of what's actually going on. I don't want to say what I think before you say it because I don't want to influence you in any way but I'd be curious to see what you come up with.

Interesting because for my GF it's definitely wanking material but then she has a whole imagination thing going on and the picture is just a way of filling in certain details. The first night she was here I wake up to find her gone and I'm wondering where she was only to hear a muffled moan coming from the ensuite. Peeking in, I see her there, biting on a towel and stroking herself to some pictures on her phone. She wanted to put it away but if this is something she needed I was willing to help her out. Took her back to bed. Then had her continue with what she was doing as I gently kissed, licked and fondled her body. It didn't take her long to start to stiffen and get that look on her face as she was going to cum and she did quite loudly and forcefully. She drops the phone, kisses me hard and feels my erection poking her. She just nods a few times and that's all the invitation I needed to fuck her silly. Afterwards she showed me the pictures and said she couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake me so she used them but this time it was so much better because she could imagine that it was Kristina doing these things to her. 

It's just strange how these things affect different people. She could cum by masturbating to the pictures and while you'd get hard and ready to go looking at them, you couldn't masturbate to them. It's not something I understand because while I can understand where she's coming from as that makes sense to me, I can't look at a picture of a woman I find sexy and then have to masturbate to something different. Sure, I'll look at different pictures in the process but if a woman gets me hard then it means I want to do her. 

So why then is it that you don't want to masturbate to her? Or is it you can't do it because you're not getting anything out of it.

Oh I've got willpower in spades. The first time I started this I literally changed my diet and everything at that point. Forget this, "I'll start tomorrow because I have some leftover cake" or whatever. I just made the change. Occasionally I'd give in and have a treat, but only once I had been doing this for a while and then it wasn't so much a cheat meal as just a treat. Have something small maybe once a week. Although I always recommend a person take one meal out of the week to have a cheat meal. Have whatever it is you've been craving, within reason of course. Go out and have a slice of pizza. Just don't eat the entire thing. Go out and have some KFC, or Micky D's or whatever you want. Just make sure it's a reasonable amount and you're not just stuffing your face with junk.

Nobody said that exercise was fast. I never recommend any program where the weight comes off quickly because more often than not it means it's coming back with interest later. In this case slow and steady wins the race. 1-2 pounds a week can be done by simply controlling what you eat, making a small calorie deficit every day and exercising. First few weeks any weight you lose is typically water weight. Your body doesn't want to release the grease. This is it's insurance policy. This is what millions of years of evolution has crafted. It's a system that tries to ensure that you'll live and pass on your genes to the next generation. So this is why your body doesn't want to give up the fat. What you need to do is give it a reason to do so. This means eating properly and eating regularly. You've heard the myth of five small meals a day can help in losing weight? Well it's true but you need to be exercising. What this is doing is ensuring there's always food in the tank so to speak. Your body gets used to this and when the gas tank, namely your stomach, is empty it knows that there's going to be more food coming later so it's going to be okay with releasing a little bit of fat. Give it time and it's going to be okay with releasing more of it. The idea is to train your body to work for you, not the other way around. Results will show, you just need to give them time. 

I'd also recommend focusing on your cardio to begin with. Keep your heart strong and it'll get you further than just trying to work on speed. Endurance is key. 

There's no reason to be guarded around me. I've got no real secrets here and I've been open about a lot of things. You shouldn't feel you need to hide who you are from me .  

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
20 Aug

to me 
Ok. Here goes. Yesterday the power went out from the storm the whole neighborhood even the stoplights. Luckily I had nearly a full battery and a bunch of podcasts. I lay down and listened but the mix of the heat from no AC and the sound of the thunder and the talking i was out in a matter of 30 minutes I woke up at 02:34.

What happened was my friend was dating a girl that had a sister and we got to talking, their father is overprotective and found out my name and googled me and told my gf and she broke up with me but the sister my friend was dating knew the truth and was trying to help patch things up and she got the girls name from me and contacted her to get her to tell the gf that I didn't hurt the girl apparently the sister sent the girl the page and her mom must monitor it and she messaged me and I found the message a few days ago and we got to talking. It was nice. 

It's not the Achilles' tendon it's the side of the leg halfway between the knee and ankle. I made a picture I'll send it later. 

Honestly, take this with a pound of salt but, I think she may have had a fling with some guy up there. I'm just basing this on tv and movies and what I would do if I were her. I'm just thinking that it may have hurt her feelings that you couldn't wait til she was out of state. Especially if you had recently fucked she may have thought her pussy doesn't drain your balls dry and feel bad about it and gotten a guy and drained his balls to prove to herself her pussy is still good. 

Personally when I masturbate I am imagining fucking the woman. I am sexually attracted to little girls but in a fool around way not in a shove my cock in and hump to cum type way. I'm weird as you say. I'm just enjoying the Aethstetic beauty of the child like some guys like to fuck outside because views turn them on or other people might want to fuck in a barn because animals turn them on but they don't want to fuck an animal. Human psychosexual response is fluid and complex. I recently found out female centaurs turn me on. Does that mean I'd fuck a mare? No. You see people can be aroused by myriad thing they would never actually fuck. My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with an adult woman while her daughter watches and we have a normal conversation and the girl asks questions and I close lipped kiss her and hug her and she is happy I'm making her mommy cum. Maybe I suck one breast while she sucks the other and I pet her head and squeeze her butt. And then I kiss her and send her off to bed and finish fucking the mommy and she bear hugs me when she cums and I cum balls deep inside her and then roll off and she (the mommy not the daughter) sucks all the cum and pussyjuice off and we cuddle and the girl comes back in and crawls between us and she's sandwiched between us. A big ole love pile. Ask your gf if she thinks that's hot. 

Yeah it's cause I'm not getting anything out of it. Weird thing the real stuff barely does anything for me aside from a desire to pick them up and tickle them and kiss them all over, but somehow strangely loli gets me hard as a rock and cumming like Christmas. How does the gf like loli? What about you? Luckily for me it's legal in Indiana. 

Man I hate being 30. In my 20's I could lose a pound a day get down to comfortable and give up now I can't lose an ounce over the course of a fortnight. I'm sure if I had powerful pain relievers and speed to keep me motivated I could probably get something done, but I'm too old tired and frankly lazy to do it. You know how much of a horndog I am right? I know if I lose weight I'll stand a better chance at sex that's not enough of an incentive. If there's something I won't do for pussy NOTHING will get me to do it. 

I still play pokemon go but only out of boredom I go for a walk. As soon as my legs hurt I head back home. A lot of the time I don't catch any. I get eggs from pokestops and walk around to hatch them. I'm probably going to delete it in a few weeks unless they make it easier & harder at the same time. Add more pokemon in rural areas make it so I don't need signal or wifi to hatch eggs use the phones pedometer to hatch eggs etc.  

I'm not hiding myself from you. I'm an open book just ask.

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
20 Aug

to James 
It's our last day together so we're spending it indoors, ordering pizza later and we're just going to be hanging out and watching movies. Besides we've got a heat warning going on so unless there's a reason to go outside we're not going outside and we'll be enjoying the air conditioner. It's a lazy Friday. Mostly spent in bed, not actually doing anything but there is that intimacy so sometimes things get a little heated up if you know what I mean.

You guys had a storm? That sucks but I don't mind when the power goes out. First of all we're not affected too much because we've got solar panels so there's batteries that basically run the important things for several hours if the power is cut. I love the sound of the rain falling and like lightning. Whenever it rains at night, the windows are open at least a crack so I can get the sound of the rain falling. It's very soothing. 

Sorry but you're a little unclear there. First you say your friend was dating a girl who had a sister and an over protective father. Then for no reason I can see he googles your name? Where did he find it and most importantly where do you fit into this picture right now? Then he finds out your girlfriend's name, some girl that suddenly is there even though she, like you, has no connection to this and she breaks up with you based on what this one guy said. But somehow the sister your friend was dating knew the truth. Does she also know you? And where did she get the underaged girl's name? She then somehow managed to contact this girl and ask your girlfriend that you didn't hurt the underage girl. Now somehow her mother gets involved, she messages you and you get to talking. I'm sorry but there are situations here that aren't making any sense. Can you be more specific or elaborate on what happened? 

Yes, I know that part and sometimes when I walk too much that part gets very sore as well. It's the peroneal tendon, actually there's two of them. One is lower down and the other is higher up. They're used in rolling and stabilizing your ankle. Often times it could be the way you walk, or maybe you're rolling your ankle too much or even your arches might be too high. There's not much that can be done about this unless you want to see a doctor about it. I've heard tell that sometimes the right shoes can help fix this but that's not up to me to make that determination. I find that sometimes doing ankle rolls where you lift your foot and just rotate the ankle a few times helps. 

No, she's totally not the kind to do that. Early on in our relationship after she had met my girlfriend and maybe after the third or fourth time I had spent a weekend with her I could see she was a little unsure of herself in how this worked. I told her that I loved her but me and my gf had a genuine bond that we couldn't break even if we wanted to. And I told her if it made her feel better during those times to go out and maybe find a guy to fuck. So long as it's only sex I didn't mind. She was appalled at the thought of that and couldn't think of being with another guy. And this hasn't changed since then. So yeah, she's not sleeping around on me. It's no different than myself. I love my wife and I love my girlfriend. I couldn't think of sleeping with any other woman and I've had plenty of offers and opportunities. Like once in Vegas we were there for a conference and HP was picking up the bill for everything. The best restaurants, the best clubs, the best everything. Hell on the last day they pile us into a limo and take us out for an hour outside of town and wind up in front of a place called "Sheri's Ranch". It was a brothel and it was on HP. So most of the guys were excited and I was interested as I never saw the inside of one of these places but when it came to choosing a girl I backed out. I explained that I was happily married and I just couldn't cheat on my wife this way. So I spent some time in the bar and then maybe an hour or so later some of the guys start trickling in and finally we left. HP was willing to pick up my bar tab though so there is that. But I'm actually very much a boy scout when it comes to a lot of things. 

Hi James! This is Rick's Love Slave! LOL! He asked me your question and it got me a little hot so I'm typing my answer while sitting on his sweet cock. Mmmmm, that man knows my body inside out but I want him to be passive during this. It's too hard to concentrate when he's doing nasty things to my body. Yes. That would be hot but I would want the girl to join in. To please her mother. To please me. Both of us please her.  Teach her the ways of sex without hurting her. That she can love and be loved and it doesn't have to be wrong or dirty so long as you love the other person and don't take without giving. I read what you said about Kristina and you're wrong. She's perfect in every way and if I masturbate to her then I imagine she's with me. The other night RIck was asleep and I was feeling horny. He's sweet and everything but woman can't live on cock alone sometimes we need something different. I have some special videos on my phone but didn't want to play them and wake him up so I used some of the pictures on my phone. Rick finds me, takes me back to bed and I put the phone down but he says if it is what I need to use it. God! He's so sweet! I continue and he's playing with me and sucking on my tits and I can imagine it's her that's doing it and I'm teaching her about sex and loving a woman and I come like fireworks. Fuck! Sorry. I'm sorry. I can't type now.

It's me again. Sorry about that, we had to finish something and I cleaned up some of her spelling mistakes and needless typing of words like "fuck" when I did something she liked and changed her name to protect her. We spoke about this afterwards and she might be okay with sending you e-mails and answering them as well but that's up to her. The only thing I ask is don't talk of pedophilia or things like that around her unless you ask her if it's okay first. She's okay now but I'd prefer she stick with legal boys and girls and not have to go to the illegal stuff to satisfy her. And yes, she loves loli and shota. Personally I'm not a fan of either. If they're going to show cartoon characters fucking I'd rather they look mature. But do you actually have any lolicon stuff or is it just you look at it online? 

Yeah, being 30 is a bit of a change from being 20 but it's not as bad as you make it out to be. Sure your body is a little weaker and broken in but it's not like you're ready for the old age home yet. That comes when you're forty. 

What I meant by that was you said, "I'm kinda guarded unless I'm writing poetry or explaining a complex set of emotions or feelings etc" and I said that you didn't have to feel like you need to hold anything back, If there's something you want to discuss with me, or my girlfriend, then you can. As I said though, with her I ask that you don't talk about pedo stuff unless she says it's okay. Beyond that, she's a good reference if you want to know about women and she's not shy when it comes to sex or talking about it. 

That's it. It's going to be five o'clock soon. Just time for the last coffee of the day and then a night of pizza, movies and lovin'. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
21 Aug

to me 
Yeah the storm wasn't really that bad lighting hit something and it knocked out power for a few hours, but the work crews have a lot of practice it happens every year sometimes 3-5 times.

Ok.

The friend was dating a girl lets call her K now K set me up with her sister let's call her millie ok now friend and K were staying with me and I was only talking to millie on the phone and texting K was trying to get custody of her son because the babydaddy was abusive and K didn't want the baby around him. So K told her father about it so they could take care of the baby etc. now I think the father took millies phone or looked at her Facebook and found me and googled my name to find dirt to convince millie to dump me because he is a mormon and doesn't want her dating outside the faith. He found the kiwifarms page and showed millie and she dumped me. K found out and asked what happened I told her about the kiwifarms page and the real story. She asked for the girls name and she contacted her on fb to ask her to tell millie the truth that I didn't hurt her and I think the girl told millie the truth and millie started talking to me again but she's kinda flakey and we talk from time to time but she breaks up with me a lot for no good reason and then a few weeks later comes back. It's weird but I'm lonely so I talk to her. Anyway after this the girls mother messaged me and I didn't see it until a few days ago when I was going through my requests. She asked about the kiwifarms page and I told her the story and I told her what we did together and I apologized and admitted how bad I feel for what I did and she assured me I didn't ruin the girls life and that's pretty much it. 

It's the rolling then cause I float on my ankles and I have no arches I'm flat footed as an elephant also my feet point outward at roughly 45 degrees. I've been trying to correct that and that may be part of the problem. So many years pointed out and now pointed forward is gonna cause some discomfort. I'll try walking the way I used to and see if that helps usually that only hurts my hip sockets after a while. Oh and if it helps I twisted my right ankle  really bad I slipped in the kiddy pool jumping in and my foot was pointed backwards and I sat down on it which twisted it 180 and I wasn't able to walk for 6 weeks. The doctor actually said to not walk on it for 6 months but I was headstrong and as soon as I could walk again I was up and walking around so it never really healed right. 

I'd love that "rick" lol. I can always use more friends to talk to. Just warn her that if she doesn't tell me not to that the conversation might get a little blue. If she says stop I will but just let her know I'm a horndog at times. 

No I don't actually own any loli just in case they change the law and try to bust me. And shota doesn't do anything for me I don't like little boys. 

Okay now that that's all done. 

About the solar panels how much do they cost are they hard to instal? If you plug them into the grid do you get a rebate from the power company? How long do they have without sun before they stop working? Is it heat based like if it's hot but no direct sun they'll still work or is it specifically solar radiation? I'm sorry photovoltaics has/have always fascinated me. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
21 Aug

to James 
Ah parting is always such sweet sorrow. Just to avoid a repeat of what happened when she showed up, my GF decided to leave a little early just to put some distance between her and my wife. The last thing she did request was I fill her up before she leaves. Even then we spend five minutes in the hallway, holding, kissing and stroking each other. I wanted her to stay, we still had a few hours but she said it was for the best. She promised we'd see each other soon but I think it's going to be a couple of months. She's only got her rental until the end of the month then she's flying off somewhere. She didn't mention it but part of me is thinking she's heading to S.E. Asia. Usually when she gets a lot of dick, she looks for pussy so what better place than where a lot of the girls are small busted and hipped? Oh well, it's for the best. I need to clean up before my wife shows up.

Okay that makes a little more sense. Is this Millie the girl that was cheating on you? 

That could probably be it. I know a guy, his feet point outwards like you and he has the same problem but he's got high arches. If you have the money then Dr. Scholls has these inserts to put into your shoes to help correct certain things. He's using the ones designed for his feet and he says they make walking a lot easier. 

Why put Rick in quotes? It's my name. I told you that when I contacted you at the start. As I said, she's willing to contact you and she's really open if you couldn't already tell the only thing I ask is keep the pedo talk to a minimum if you could. I want her around for a long time and she won't be if she gets too out of line and starts preying on kids again. 

But if it's legal than you're pretty much grandfathered in if they ever change the law. It's not like today you get some, then next week they change the law and you're suddenly busted for it. At worst you'd get some sort of amnesty where they say that you have a month to either destroy or bring in your loli stuff for destruction which could give you more than enough time to partake in some digitizing your collection and storing it in a safe location. I really have no problem with loli or shota so long as it's drawings and doesn't involve any actual children.

We would have gotten these years ago and there was a program put out by the state and the government that we got tax credits for it so really I couldn't tell you how much it was in the end. I think the entire thing wound up costing us about $10K but that's including the credits, panels themselves, the installation, the inverter and it's connection to our internal grid and the batteries. We could have gone for the hot water system as well but we had literally just put in a tankless system and didn't want to add any more costs to it. Right now, it takes about four hours to drain the batteries completely if we just abuse electricity. By that I mean all the appliances running, the oven, the washing machine, dryer, TVs and so on. So in the event of a power failure we limit what we actually use and can ride one of these power failures out even if it takes a day. And no, they only work when the sun is shining on them. Winters are pretty rough in that they're usually rather cloudy but the summers are nice and clear which is when we use the air conditioning which is great. 

Well if you'll excuse me I've got to wash the sheets and clean up the guest bedroom / ensuite before the wife shows up. Part of me thinks we're having a talk when she gets back. I don't think it's anything bad but I doubt it's going to be anything "good".
...

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
21 Aug

to me 
No. Millie wasn't the cheater. That was ashley lynn Stapert the girl I told you molested the 6 month old with her ex before me. She's the first girl I ever came inside. Officially lost my virginity to her when that happened lqtm. 

How sad is it I still love and miss every girl I ever had. From the girl, ashley, the next girl she was the first female anus I ever came in. Still love her. And the fuckbuddy I had for 6 months her name also ashley btw, and the one day stand that was supposed to be just fooling around for 30$ and she fucked me and she didn't come back for more because I was apparently creepy, and the most recent that was 18 but looked 12 that I mistook lust for love. Every woman I've ever been with is still in my heart excluding the one one night stand that was too tight that hurt my dick that I made cum 3 times but I didn't once cause it hurt, and the prostitute, and the bitch that raped me when I was high, and the girl from the motel that gave me a lap dance and let me lick her pussy and one random fool around hookup girl on craigslist.

But any girl I ever loved is still in my heart is that sad or what?

I know about the dr shoals inserts I stepped on the scanner I'm a 420. But I ain't paying $50 for some damn insoles. 

I forgot that rick was your real name I have been calling you joe in my head for a while and thought she was making a Rick and Morty joke. Sorry man I suck at name retention. 

Tell your gf I'm happy to talk to her and the pedo talk will be minimal to the point of nonexistent. I'm here for her if she wants to vent about it as a coping mechanism to help keep her from doing it. 

*then not than. 

Yeah but I don't want to risk having it and not hearing the news of it becoming illegal. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
21 Aug

to James 
Hey, what a coincidence. I'm getting ready to send you a quick update and here you are with a response already so I'll just add them at the top.

My darling wife came home at 3:15 pm and served me divorce papers. She wants the house, the car, the bank accounts, our first born who we haven't had yet, my dick and balls so no other woman can ever enjoy them and my immortal soul which she in turn will sell to Satan in exchange for the perfect hot fudge sundae and the ability to have multiple orgasms when eating chocolate. 

Actually things went well. She was surprised by what happened when she came back as she wasn't expecting it and while she was a little angry that we couldn't wait after all we had had great sex the night before but she was also a little turned on by what she saw. She said part of her liked seeing me with another woman even if she felt a little jealous that I was railing another woman. She was confused by it all and how she felt. So once she lands in Denver, which is where the conference was, she hooks up with her old college roommate and after a few drinks she confesses everything including being both angry and turned on by what she had seen. Her roommate suggested they go out tonight and try to pick up a couple of guys and just go wild. So once her schedule was done and a couple of tequila shots later, the two of them are at some club, making out on the dance floor and attracting quite a crowd. They got a lot of attention and they managed to pick up a couple of young studs. Well when it came time to actually do it with him, she backed off because it felt wrong. She couldn't go through with it but she asked her friend if she didn't mind a threeway with her guy and they agreed. She however stayed, watched the show and it got her off. 

And the rest of the weekend she and her old roommate fooled around a bit but didn't actually go very far. I asked her if this meant she was bi and she said maybe for the right person but women don't necessarily turn her on.  Both of us think that it was just the situation we'll explore it more if it ever becomes an issue. We talked some more. I asked her if she would be okay with my girlfriend joining us from time to time. Maybe staying here off and on and she didn't say no but then she didn't say yes either. I kissed her and she literally melted in my arms with a soft mew. I told her that I loved her and she was the one I wanted to grow old with. Regardless of what happens to my girlfriend unless we come up with some form of co-habitation and she finally settles down that she is true woman in my life. 

She then asked me to do her like I did my girlfriend so we did it in the kitchen, with her bent over the island and everybody was happy. 

So how long ago was all this because you're telling me like it just happened but I'd wager it's been a few months. Would I be right in saying that the only recent bit was with the underage girl's mother?

Dude, it's not sad. Honestly part of me feels the same way. Did you ever watch the TV show Voyager? I was never one much for it but it was one of those shows that I'd catch from time to time also this girl I was seeing for a while was into it so I'd watch it occasionally with her. The Doctor had fallen in love with an alien and he was feeling heartbroken because she had to leave to be with her people. Tom Paris comes along, being the womanizer of the crew, and talks to him about it. I don't remember the exact speech he gives but it goes like this, "the first girl you ever love is always the hardest to get over because you never really do. The day she leaves is the lowest point of your life and you can't think of anything but her. Then one day you wake up and you start to feel better. The sun is shining, the birds are singing again and you're on your way. But all it takes is a word, a sound, a smell and you remember her and the pain comes back just as strong as it did before. It doesn't last long but in that moment you feel the same way that you did when she left. And you'll never feel that same way about any other woman for the rest of your life." Or something like that. And it's true. I've been with dozens of women in my life and while part of me misses most of them, none of them compare to my first girlfriend. And that includes the current one and my wife.

Well that's why I asked if you had a little extra money to spare. My friend swears by them. Take that however you want. 

It's cool. I go by Joe in certain circles due to my love of coffee but the name is Rick. 

The only thing I would ask is that she's a little mercurial. There might be days that you send a dozen emails and she'll respond back a dozen times. Then there's the day that she doesn't respond for two weeks. Do not take it personally if she doesn't respond in time and bugging her about it will only cause her to ignore you. Accept that she's a free spirit and you two should get on fine. 

It's getting close to 5pm so I need to start making dinner. As the wife and I have reached an understanding I'd like to make something a little special so I need a little bit of time to prep it. 

Later.
...

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
21 Aug

to me 
I knew it was something like that. 

Maybe my asking if they ever did anything somehow put it out to the universe and the fates decided "why not" I bet within a year or two they will at minimum have a 3way with you as a buffer if not them just together. I hope you can handle it. 

Sorry I tend to contemporize when I tell a story because that's how I remember things, as if I'm reliving them in the moment. Okay the millie finding out etc was a few months ago and the talking to the girls mom was just a few days ago. 

Actually I love voyager. It's my favorite trek. And I actually remember that speech you got it almost perfect. I mean I even heard it in toms voice it was spooky. 

Ok ricky I'll try to remember.

Understood. I hope she likes me, she seems really nice. 

Oh new thing I tried spaghetti sauce and pita bread. It's delicious. Of course I'm a sucker for the texture of pita. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
22 Aug

to James 
First night away from my girlfriend is always the worst but luckily I've got a woman here who loves me and is willing to put up with me. She's a gem that one and I thank my lucky stars that I stopped and talked to her that day instead of just hitting on her Asian friend. 

It's funny because last night as we're getting ready for bed, shes wearing her nightgown and looking super sexy in it but then she can rock a pair of track pants and sweatshirt and still get my motor running so that's not saying much. But we're at the sink, we've got one each right next to each other and I can see her sizing herself up. Hefting her boobs and looking at herself sideways. I make a comment about if she's fishing for compliments she doesn't need to. She asks if I like her body because my girlfriend is slim and she's a little chubby and she's feeling insecure. I pull her close and give her a sweet kiss and she presses herself against me. I start getting hard and she gets a look in her eyes and reaches down for it but I push her hands away. 

Needless to say I showed her how much I loved her and her body which left her a quivering mess on the bed. She fell asleep spooned up next to me and this morning said it was the best sleep she's had in a while. Of course she was only wearing her nightgown during breakfast and was showing  a serious amount of cleavage, Dirty girl. 

No you didn't. You thought she went out and got a dicking in order to feel sexy. She made out with her college roommate and instead of getting a young stud to stuff her, decided to see him and his buddy rail her old roommate. Although I did find out that while she never considered herself bi that she and her old roommate did stuff together although as she put it, it was only sex it never meant anything to her although a couple shots of tequila and she was willing to relive old times.

Yeah, that's never going to happen. With her old roommate maybe but I'm not asking that and I would never ask her for that. With my girlfriend? Never. Never ever ever ever. I don't know what part of this you're not getting or not understanding. My girlfriend wouldn't want to be with my wife because she's a woman and has a womanly body. If she was skinny, had no boobs or ass and shaved then maybe but even then there's this thing between them. My girlfriend does not like my wife as she sees my wife as having stolen me from her. When we were fucking in the kitchen and my wife walked in the look she gave her was one of triumph or victory like she had won. She knows not to say things like that in front of me but she called her a cow once in front of me and I tore her a new one. Same with my wife, she doesn't talk badly about my girlfriend but doesn't really like her for the same reasons.

She was angry but also a little turned on by it all. Had it been the neighbor lady and she walked in on that she might have felt different and maybe would have stayed to watch or watched from the distance while she played with herself. But because it was my girlfriend she felt angry. The two of them will never see eye to eye on this so please drop the whole thing about a threeway with them because it's not happening. 

That's fine. Just remember that while you understand it, I don't and I need context.

Awesome. I liked that bit but only because I had to agree that it was true. Ah Sheila. I was only 13 as was she. We fell in love in day. It lasted a month but it was one of the greatest months of my life. Funny thing is we hardly did anything. We kissed a lot. Got to second base with her in the woods and found out she wore a padded training bra. We never took it all the way which is a shame. And I'll always remember seeing her pulling away in the station wagon as her family was moving to Utah and feeling so scared and alone. All these years later I can still remember how she looked, how she felt, the taste of her lip gloss, how she giggled after I kissed her the first time, seeing her tiny breasts and puffy nipples. Mmmmm good times. 

Yeah, whatever you say Jimmy.

She's a sweetheart and she's open. Hopefully she's messaged you by now if not she'll probably do it today. I haven't heard from her yet other than last night to tell me she got home okay so there's a chance she had some errands to run earlier.

Nothing wrong with a nice piece of bread dipped in some good spaghetti sauce. My wife is half-Italian and half-German which explains her size. While I'm good in the kitchen and can make a decent pasta I'm nothing compared to her. Her lasagne is amazing. Her marinara or bolognese sauce is to die for and on the german side she makes the best Sauerbraten and rouladen. But yeah, a nice piece of crusty bread to dip into the sauce when it's cooking or to wipe the plate clean when you're done is the best. She's hinted at maybe making something this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. 

It's almost eleven now. Got some things I need to do so I'll leave you until later.
...

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
22 Aug

to me 
I had a busy day today. First I went to the library and then I came home and went to Walmart for the parents and while I was there I checked the dr shoals thing again and I'm a 410 now. Used to be 420?? lol. It said I have low arches and a lot of food pressure. I'm never gonna buy them but it's nice to know. After that I got home and I had forgotten to go to marsh for moms blood sugar testing strips I didn't feel like waiting for the bus so I walked the mile there and didn't wanna walk back so I went to go get the bus and a bus was broken down two of the side panels had popped off and I waited for the next one. As we rode a girl got on and needed help putting her bike on the bike rack on the front and a guy went out and helped her and I said good looking out and gave him a literal pat on the back later on a woman got on I couldn't tell if she was pregnant or just a little pudgy either way I stared at the tummy and I got rock hard. I have a thing for a tummy on an otherwise small girl of course big boobs and butt make it better. Anyway oh ps while I was at Walmart I got each of us subway. 

Anyway the way you described your wife mmm mmm mmm you're killing me rick you killing me. 

Point taken rick. Please don't call me jimmy. I haven't been jimmy in almost a decade. 

Yeah she had to see a friend a little after 09. 
..

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
23 Aug

to James 
Today was pretty uneventful. Did some stuff outside. Had to use the power washer on the siding because the house needed it. And I think I'm going to have to paint the deck again. Dunno if it's really necessary but it gives me something to do. I made dinner and it was about halfway ready when the wife shows up. I decided to make her something a little special in part to make up for what happened recently and to show her that she's special and deserves nice stuff. She comes in the kitchen, looking a little tired but gives me this great big smile and sweet kiss. I tell her to get her gorgeous butt in gear, get cleaned up and ready and we're having dinner in about twenty minutes. Then for added fun I smack her ass on the way out. She gives me a sultry smile and sashays out of the room, my eyes on her butt all the way.

She comes down about twenty minutes later as I'm plating everything. Again, she's wearing her bathrobe and nothing underneath. I think she's trying to tell me something. But dinner is served. I offered her a glass of wine. I still can't drink for several months but that doesn't mean she can't. She thought about it and said it wasn't fair to me. Sweet woman. Serve dinner. It was steamed salmon with fresh herbs served with a dill hollandaise sauce, some roasted potatoes and grilled veggies. It takes some time to make but she's worth it. 

I go to clear the dishes but as I'm picking her's up she hooks a finger in my belt loop and says it can wait. Needless to say she wanted to spend some quality time crying out to God. Funny. This weekend thing seems to have brought us closer together. 

Good for you having a busy day. There are times we need to keep busy. Makes us appreciate those times when there's nothing to do but got a question, what is "food pressure"? Did you mean blood pressure? If so do you have it? 

I don't know what number I am. I'll have to check it out the next time I find one of those things. Would be interesting to see what I get. 

Yeah, she's great and if you want a better visual representation then check out your tumblr. The first picture there of the chubby brunette hanging onto the fence? She looks a bit like that but not quite as heavy. My wife is maybe twenty or thirty pounds overweight. She still has a figure but she's just padded all around which I have to admit feels great in my arms. Her boobs aren't quite as big and her thighs aren't quite as thick or have cellulite and the hips aren't that large but I'd say a good representation. 

I thought that would get you. Same here. The only person that's ever called me that is my Mom and even she hasn't called me that in like twenty years. 

Oh did she? I wonder if it's the same friend she brought down from Alaska? Or it is an actual friend and not just her euphemism for a fuck buddy? Regardless of that I'm pretty sure it's a woman. A couple days with me and she's off to find a pair of boobs and an available vagina. 

It's getting late, my wife just reminded me she's going to bed and she's not wearing underwear. Do you think she's trying to tell me something?  
...

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
23 Aug

to me 
Sorry, typo meant fooT pressure lol. It's that the weight is only on a few points and not evenly distributed. 

They're in Walmart near the pharmacy. (Wow I must be tired I spelled it with an f first time lqtm). 

She's definitely trying to get the D. Lol. 

I'm sorry for just the few lines I'm tired and kinda sick I think the subway was too much food and I have the runs I haven't had that much in one sitting in a while. Also I drank a mountain dew so that might be messing with me too after so long without a soda and then chugging one. 

I'm kinda horny but at the same time not. Like if I had a gf I'd wanna fool around maybe get a bj for a few minutes and play with the boobies for a while and then cuddle. Maybe a quickie to have fun but not to cum and that's all. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
23 Aug

to James 
Mornin' James.

I think I want to sleep for a week, all this sex is starting to wear me out. I'm still good for multiple times a day but I'm not sixteen anymore and can just get a boner when I want fuck at a moment's notice. My wife is loving it though. It's not like we didn't do it often but it's been several times a day with her since she came back and we had our little breakthrough. She's even promised me that she's going to be cooking all weekend making all my favorites. Not that I'm complaining about it either way but after all that time with my girlfriend and now my wife it's a good thing that I'm stuck here at home and not having to work. The benefits of being able to take naps in the afternoon more than makes up for it. 

Gotcha but nobody's feet are perfectly balanced or have great weight distribution. My heels take a lot of pressure and when I walk I come down hard on them. My heels have this line of thick callus around them and that's on top of the thick callus I've got on the soles. 

Yes, she's definitely been wanting the D recently. We were in a bit of a rut and while I know she loves me and I love her I know that at times she's still self-conscious about her weight. She goes to the gym every day. She's strong. She's fit in every sense of the word and she's not able to lose weight effectively. She needs to fight for every ounce. I remember about three to four years ago she made an effort to lose the weight. She ate nothing but salads and yogurt, drank nothing but water, exercised every day and she managed to get down two dress sizes. She looked good but she was becoming a fitness fanatic. She had to measure everything she ate. Had to be sure to only eat a certain amount of calories a day. Spend so much time in the gym. Spend so much time sleeping and so on and it was wearing on her. She was irritable, She was tense all the time and our relationship suffered for it. Then one night she broke down and just couldn't do it anymore. It had been a year and a bit since she started. We talked and she questioned how I could love a fat girl I told her that I didn't care about the pudge and I actually liked it because it was her.  Sure we can watch what we eat but that doesn't mean we need to starve ourselves. We can go to the gym and get exercise but it should be to strengthen the body and not to just lose weight. But most of all my only concern was that she be healthy and happy. So we ordered a pizza. First one she had in a year and a bit. She paced herself but I could see she wanted more. You have to be careful when changing your diet like that. We re-introduced some of her favorite foods into her diet and she slowly started to fill out again. But she was happy. We became gym buddies and the goal was to work on the heart and the endurance, forget about the fat but just do it, And her libido came back with a vengeance. Suddenly she's always lovey dovey and she was proud of her imperfect body for once. But even with all that she still gets worried about being too fat. And I'm more than happy to show her that I truly appreciate her and her imperfect body.

Don't worry about it. It's just I don't want to be the one writing a lot and only getting a line or two in return. You'll write more when you feel better. 
...

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
23 Aug

to me 
I have low arches so i tend to walk on the outside of my feet mostly the front and side. 

I'm much better now I think it was mild food poisoning or like I said I ate too much in one sitting. I'm big but my actual stomach organ is pretty small and if I eat too much I either puke or ??. 

Please tell her that a little pudge is really sexy. Especially if it looks like a month or two pregnant that is an instant boner to me. 

Oh cool thing has been happening the past few days. Ok I posted something to a fb board and a woman replied to me and we got to talking and I was tired and horny so I asked permission to show her my dick she declined and posted a screenshot of the conversation to the board and I keep getting requests to see it and guess what only one negative review and that was a guy. The women have all either said it's big or average at worst. My self esteem is at an all time high and depression is cowering in the corner of the throneroom of my mind. 

 Rick <[REDACTED]>
23 Aug

to James 
Coffee time, check my e-mails and here we go.

So I've heard from Linda and she's been e-mailing you back and forth so that's good. Treat her nicely. Treat her with respect. And don't perv on her. You mess up one of those things and I'll kick your ass. About two years ago she was having an existential crisis. I flew to where she was to give her moral support and if necessary fight on her behalf. Not that I needed to but that woman is very special to me. You make her cry and I'll hurt you. It's that simple. But I;m sure you won't do that so we're good.

Nah you probably ate too much. I've had food poisoning before and it wasn't pretty. Three solid days of things coming out both ends. Another twelve hours and I would have been in the hospital getting fluids. You should never eat more than your stomach can handle. It's why I always eat until I'm satisfied and never until I'm full. Also that keeps you from overeating.

Oh she knows I love her pudge. I tell her all the time. Hell the other night it's all I talked about as I massaged her body and commented on how hot she looked and how turned on it made me. As I said she's not fat, far from it. She's maybe a size eight or a ten sometimes a twelve depending on the designer. She's voluptuous. She's got extra padding where it counts. She doesn't have much of a tummy, just a bit becasue of all the crunches she does. I swear that woman has an 8-pack underneath all of that. You feel her belly and you can feel the muscles underneath it. It's so sexy. And as they say, the deeper the cushion the sweeter the pushin'. But as I said she still gets a little self conscious now and then. But then she's a woman and too often she measures her worth against what the world sees her as.

I've told you before and I'm begging of you not to do now is not to ask Linda about your dick. She's polite and she'd probably agree to see it and tell you it looks good but she'd be retching inside as she did it. Remember, the only adult dick she likes is mine. I think it's an addiction but I'm not going to be the one to break her of it.

So stop worrying so much about it. I'm sure you're fine. And no, I don't want to see it.
...

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
23 Aug

to me 
Ok. There may be a slight problem but I don't think it's that bad. 

I did it politely and told her it was okay to say no but I already asked her before this email came. 

I'm pretty sure she'll say no but even if she says yes I'll tell her you said I shouldn't. 

I'm sorry it's just I felt so safe with her and she seems so nice. You just wanna eat her up (the cute way not the cunnilingus way) 

I know I'm not her type I get that I'm too old for her. 

If she says yes and I tell her you told me she would be too nice to say no and that I know she doesn't wanna see it and she still says it's okay is ot okay? 

If it's a jealousy thing just tell me and I'll back off I know how it feels when another guy is talking to your girl, and I don't wanna lose your friendship over this. 

Besides the Facebook comments should be enough to hold me for a while.

Again I'm sorry if I stepped on your toes.