Eclipse

Loki's Furfag son Fenrir gets ready to eat the sun

On 21 August 2017 a giant Dragon will dwoop down from the heavens above to eat the sun. If you follow the much cooler Norse Mythology version, Fenrir Wolf will eat the sun and quickly shit it out after getting his ass kicked by the Asgardian badass Tyr. Unfortunately, if you're a kowtowing rug jockey your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes. Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best suicide vest and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it. I wish I wasn't joking.