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Kthor

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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AWESOME!

K. Thor aka Kthor, real name Kristopher Jensen, was a cartoonist and moderator of the LJ community fuckyoucrew, who now writes about dogs, non-binary trans-masculine unicorn-kin and other assorted SJW pursuits. In ye olden times he was one of the editors of the now dead site Portal of Evil (before he went full cuck). In his younger years he clashed a number of times both in real life and on LJ with infamous basement dwelling failure and fatty Lord Rexington Fear.

Targets of his legendary butthurt have included Joshua Beane aka the Dragonguyver and Matthew Moulton aka Onideus Mad Hatter. It should be noted that most of the people Kthor makes fun of are overweight. K. Thor previously had a "skinny fat" (nerd) figure but has become increasingly obese as his life spiraled downward from dotcom boom leech to guy poorly cribbing from Love and Rockets onto stolen bristol board. In 2006, K. Thor married a woman who is hella fucking fat. She designs purses and sells them on the internet. Someone, maybe even K. Thor has apparently made the fatty pregnant.

For some reason, his activities in fuckyoucrew seemed to draw considerably more ire than his time spent on Portal of Evil, which may have fueled his turn to the cuck side as an SJW supporter. Kthor has always been a bit of a media whore, however, even with multiple television appearances (including a particularly embarrassing one on Blind Date) under his belt, he was still forced to sell his manga and other assorted animu plastic crap to pay for his wedding.

All Growed Up

Nice pedo-stache.

Kthor eventually gave up his life of attempted comic artistry, largely due to the fact that he hooked up with the nearest lowered expectation he could find and the two 30 year old virgins finally popped their collective cherries and managed to shit out a chromosomally deficient little sprout named "Henry".

He currently hangs out largely on Twitter where he incessantly retweets anti-Trump propaganda and extreme left wing SJW bullshit. He also has a new book he's trying to pawn off, likely some self-aggrandizing liberal reach around. He's likely working some menial, minimum wage, shit job to make ends meet on the sides while he cries himself to sleep every night knowing that all the better he could do with his life was to crap out a carbon copy cock shitter who will probably wind up having even LESS creative talent and originality than his father. Either that or his wife is now the bread winner by whoring herself off to other men while she leaves cuck boy at home to take care of the spergs.



How Cute



Kthor The Artist

A masterpiece!

Kthor started off as an awkward little nerd, xeroxing and selling his own crappy comics at age 16 after being inspired by a couple of touring comic artists at his local comic shop. Eventually he would meet a man named Tom Hart, who introduced his young virgin buttocks to every adult cartoonist he knew. After being "worked around" in the industry for awhile he headed off to New York without so much as an ID or a passport and, as such, was unable to cash the $10,000 child porn payout check he had gotten from his previous "artistic" work. So he shacked up with one of his industry friends in the area and served as his underage doormat until the cops busted in and arrested him for child molestation. We're really not joking about any this, Kthor has openly admitted to this on his own Instagram account and even called the experience "one of the more surreal and frightening moments of my life".

After his pedophile friend was arrested he was left homeless and jobless and wandered around the country staying with random 'people he knew from the Internet' until he eventually wound up in the bearish boy loving arms of Chet, owner of the website "Portal of Evil", who took him under his dick as an editor for the site. Soon afterwards he compiled all his child rapey experiences into a badly done graphic novel titled, "Red Eye, Black Eye" back in 2007. Which is basically a collection of random DeviantArt quality web comics crapped together to serve as a metaphoric introspection into his life of perpetual underage ass pounding.

Nearly a decade after his first foray into writing he went on to repeat the same failed formula for his second self-publishing attempt, with his poorly titled "Cloud Stories" graphic novel. Apparently it's so terrible he had to crowd fund the project from former pedophile friends. Ironically if he had titled the book, "Cuck Stories" it would probably sell a LOT better than it presently is.

   
 
I have struggled with severe depression since I was eight years old and finally got psychiatric and medical help for it.
 

 
 

—Kristopher Jensen



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Kthor The Cuck

File:Kthor - Public Cucking.png
Kthor gets publicly cucked by his wife.

Kthor has always been shy and awkward around women, requiring them to make the first move. He met his wife at a party who broke the ice by asking if she could squeeze his hand. No, seriously...

   
 
Give me your hand and I'll show you how to milk a goat.
 

 
 

—Sara Jensen

This eventually led to one of those cringy pseudo-relationships where Kthor got friendzoned as she tried to pawn him off on all her friends as a "nice guy". This in turn led to a drunken half-kiss with over exaggerated exposition and backpedal about how they were totally not interested in each other and it was, "Just joking you guys! Srs!" which of course only brought on more mocking condescension from their peers who knew full well they were just a couple of overly awkward 30 year old virgins who couldn't figure out how to fuck like normal folk.

This failboat of a friendship half sunkenly sailed on until Sara's mom died and she became emotionally undone and finally fucked our boy Kthor shortly after kissing the cold corpse of her dead mother... yeah, so romantic! Both of them were too naive to figure out how to use a condom at that point so Sara wound up pregnant within a month or two and crapped out a chromosomal clusterfuck some nine months later. It would be their first and their last child together, choosing to adopt their second sperg after the first one wound up genetically crippled. A real touching tale in why losers shouldn't reproduce, but we digress, so let's move on.

After finally losing her virginity Sara soon became starving for sex, her body seemingly wanting to make up for all the lost time she spent as a withered wallflower, she became insatiably thirsty as a result. It didn't take long of course for Kthor to become wholly inadequate for Sara's sexual appetites and so the two drew up a cuck contract to keep Kthor in the kitchen and raising the kids while she fucked off every dick she could find and brought home the bacon.



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Kthor The Father

File:Kthor - Incest Is Best.jpg
His son instinctively shields himself from groping hands.

Kthor's wife is so gawd damn fat she shit out a diabetic sperg on the spot. His second child was adopted and, as she's white and perfectly healthy, you know they got her from one of those "state adoption agencies for profit" sort of deals. Sometimes referred to as "legal child abduction", where they basically steal children from poor people and give them to middle class and rich folk while turning a tidy profit off destroying families.

Kthor dresses his son in girls clothing and makes him look like a 70s era skeezer selling skank scabies for score. His daughter isn't much better off, who often looks like a little ragamuffin in desperate need of a bath. Kthor of course cooks, cleans and cares for the crotch crickets. He even home schools them, largely on liberal affairs like how much they need to hate the president and how guilty they need to feel about racial self-victimization.

Whenever one of them parrots their parents liberal propaganda they're praised with adoration as they both tweet their smug self-satisfaction for having brought up such smart little Kool-Aid drinkers. And, again, we have to point out that none of this is an exaggeration on our part, this is literally how they parent their children. A good long look through their Twitter feeds will tell you just how terrible these two trainables are in terrorizing their transtrender twerps into full fledged ANTIFA acolytes.

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An Introspective Look At The Artist

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His Awesome Art!

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External Links



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Featured article November 20 & November 21, 2017
Preceded by
Usenet
Kthor Succeeded by
Charles Manson