Nelson Mandela

File:Nelson-Mandela.jpg

taken from http://www.idainternational.org/ada/nelson-mandela/

Nelson Mandela was one of the greatest criminal masterminds of South Africa. He was known for his helium inflated voice, never getting mad at anything, and inventing cheeky merchandise. Some confuse Nelson Mandela for having ended apartheid in South Africa for being altruistic, but in reality Mr.Mandela has used this opportunity to make billions off the following inventions and happenings.

Crackabus

Mandela managed to produce a crack and weed hybrid, many argued to end crack addiction and wane them into pot.

alcopops

Before approving this product in America, the FDA actually found that this is the quickest way to get someone wankered.

fighting beer

Nelson Mandela managed to make this "invention" more of an artistic depiction on poverty and how even in a time of leisure, poor institutionally discriminated people need to have a defense mechanism built into their own drink. This keeps peoples perspective to the fact that in poverty extreme violence is thrust upon you just to survive and it is why we must invest in the homeless to save money on what they would cost to society in crime without having places to stay and eat.

Smack & Crack Party Pack

Many argued whether or not supporting this "Party Pack" would be progressive. The deciding factor narrowed down to that Mandela ended Apartheid so this could be a good way to get money out of the hands of street dealers to make Mandela the Main Dealer.

the castro incident

At first many socialists complained that their representative Castro had perished in such an unfortunate miscommunication. No one could really criticize Mandela beyond that because the man ended Apartheid so whatever Mandela's motives here are probably just misunderstood. Barrack Obama would write a check to Cuba for 50 grand.

suspicion of killing Margaret Thatcher

The video looked bad but people realized how annoying it would be to hear Thatcher's voice.