Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/September 9, 2022

England

England, Engerland, Merry Olde England, Albion, North France, Airstrip One, Englandistan, Inkland, Britfagland, America's Bitch, Engayland, Britshits, Middle East Jr., US Aircraft Carrier, Crumpetville, Fatland, Scotlands arse, Wales' Abusive Spouse, Tea-and-Crumpet-land, Bongistan or New Pakistan is the largest and the most inbred city within the United Kingdom. (See Wales for above average inbreeding within the United Kingdom). The English are asymmetrical along the body, meaning that the left part is not a mirror image of the right. They do not have hardened exoskeletons which results in horrible skin conditions. They breathe via their lungs through their permanently flared nostrils.

English bodies can be classified into three major parts: head, abdomen and limbs. The limbs, one pair each of legs and arms, attach directly to the head.

The Queen is responsible for laying the thousands of eggs required for replacing workers lost in Iraq. The number of males is generally low because only one male (ubiquitously named Steve) is needed for the entire reproductive process. Despite this, all English people, regardless of sex, are referred to as Englishmen. This is probably due to the fact that all Limey females appear to be male.

English males have absurdly curved penises. This has resulted in the banning of Englishmen from babysitting duties in France, Poland, and The United States of America due to vaginal and anal hookings.

English women are famous throughout the world for their fried-chicken scented pussies and gravy scented poo pipes. For this reason, niggers are banned from touching English women. Entry into an English female can only be achieved with the aid of a dragon or an elfin password.

Contrary to what most people believe, the English do not bite. They use their jaws to anchor themselves and then, using their strong mandibles, attach themselves to their food and tear at it with their limbs.

English children are unisex until the age of 15 when they are sprinkled with the queen's fart dust and buried beneath Stonehenge for a fortnight. This process is knows as "Kimping the Wonksey" and ranks among the most hallowed of the world's coming of age rituals.

(( THE QUEEN HAS FINALLY FUCKING DIED ))

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