September 23, 2017

Nibiru attacks!!!!!!

23 September 2017 is the day the world is supposed to begin its end according to David Meade, a psychotic, Christian Attention Whore that claims to be an Astronomer and scientist who has to keep the universities where he received his degrees secret to protect them them from people who fear the truth. Unlike prophets to come before him, Meade doesn't have the balls to actually set a date when the end of the world is to happen. Rather looking to hedge his bets and play Nostradamus, David Meade has decided that the safest thing to do is to play it vague and say that this date is the beginning of a series of catastrophic events like earthquakes, hurricanes and floods that will last over a series of days or weeks and will signal the end rather than be the last day.

Numerology

Like so many autistic, OCD, aspertard fuckwits David Meade had decided to make us suffer from his apophenia and is obsessed with patterns that numbers seem to have when no real pattern exists.
For David Meade, it's the number 33. 33 consits of two 3s which is the number that represents the Holy Trinity. Christ lived 33 years. It's a pure number and can only be arrived at by multiplying 2 prime numbers, 3 and 11. Elohim which means lord and is a reference to G-D in Hebrew is used 33 times in the Bible. Most importantly, 23 September 2017 is 33 days since the 21 August 2017 eclipse and this, Meade believes, is an omen of great significance.

The Prophecy And Its Interpretation

Meade bases his prohecy on Revelations Chapter 12 which describes a woman “clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head” who gives birth to a boy who will “rule all the nations with an iron scepter” while she is threatened by a red, seven-headed dragon. The woman then grows the wings of an eagle and is swallowed up by the earth.
Morons like Meade that feel the need to literaly interepret the Bible see this passage as saying that the constellation Virgo — representing the woman — will be clothed in sunlight, in a position that is over the moon and under nine stars and three planets. The planet Jupiter, which will have been inside Virgo — in her womb, in Mead's interpretation — will move out of Virgo, as if she is giving birth.

NASA And Meade's Prediction

All NASA did was put out a memo saying, "Really? We have ourselves another retard trying to convince the trailor park meth-heads and rejects that G-D is mad at them and He wants them to give Him money."
NASA says that this is the third Nibiru hoax prophesy. The 1st was supposed to happen in May 2003. When Nibiru failed to appear the prophesy was moved to 21 December 2013 to allign with Mayan predictions for the end of the world. NASA has said that 23 September 2017 will be the third time that these so called experts like David Meade will try to sell the Nibiru apocolypse and will be the third time that they are wrong.
On the other hand, religious leaders are siding with NASA and are pretty much consolidated in their belief that the only thing nut bag, psychos like David Meade achieve is making all religions look stupid with this obsession with the end of the world as their only goal is to bring about a cause for war with promises that the end times are at hand or, more likely, to follow Leah Remini's cue and make money selling books.

Nibiru

The thing about Nibiru is that these so called Bible bashing, end of the world retards is that they can't seem to agree on what Nibiru is.
For some retards, Nibiru is the legendary planet x. A super Earth that is five times the size of the Earth and will lead to events that are closest to the opening of Thundarr The Barbarian.

Others want us to believe that Nibiru is a Brown Star or a Black Hole that is on a 3,600 year orbit around the sun and despite having a gravitational attraction that would make Jupiter look like the sissy kid on the block, they want us to believe that it has appeared time and time again and has never ripped away the atmospheres of Venus and Earth or have thrown them out of the solar system.
NASA, using things like Logic and Mathmatics has said that if there was this gravitational monster that appeared every 3,600 years, our Solar System wouldn't be as orderly as it apoears and would look more like a Chinese freeway with burning cars, dead bodies everywhere and everyone driving for miles with their left turn signal on. 3,600 years is not enough time for a solar system to return to normal after being assaulted by a gravitational Juggernaut. That, NASA claims, would take millions of years.

See Also

• Eclipse
• Catholicism
• Christianity
• Religion
• Cult
• Nibiru
• Apocalypse
• Apophis
• Aliens
• Earth
• Mars
• Retard
• Your Dad
• Jesus
• God
• Technical virgin Not you. Your sister.
• Dead
• Black Hole How most men describe your mother's vagina, at least the ones who weren't sucked into it like ants into a vacuum wand.

September 23, 2017 is part of a series on Obscure Religions

Click topics to expand: Major Religions • Minor Religions • Trollianity • Deities • Religious Icons • Other Religions • Related Articles Links to separate templates: Christianity • Judaism • Islam • Atheism • Scientology • Cults • Portal of Truth Buddhism • Hinduism • Satanism • Wiccan & Pagan Trolldin • Lolki • Lönguncattr • NXIVM • Ragnaröfl • Martin Luther King Day • Catnarok BASEDGOD • God • Kim Il-sung • RaptorJesus • Santa • Satan Claus • Xenu • Yahweh Ted Haggard • Tom Cruise • John Travolta • Rifqa Bary Voodoo • Church of Euthanasia • Environmentalism • Objectivism • Children's Immortality Project • Jedi Church Enlightenment • Halloween • Questionable logic • Crocoduck

The Sun

Mercury

Venus

Earth

The Moon

Mars

Jupiter

Saturn

Uranus

Neptune

Pluto

Space

Nibiru

[Close them downOpen the records]

September 23, 2017 is part of a series on Cults

September 23, 2017 is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.