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How To Wash Your Hands

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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File:160608155350-healthcare-handwashing-images-large-169.jpg
Everytime you eat with your decal covered hands, this is what's seasoning your food.

You probably have just gotten done taking a Shit, Jerking Off, or playing with your asshole, according to the CDC (Center For Disease Control) in Georgia odds are that you are too stupid to know how to wash your hands, hell you probably don't even know how to properly wipe your ass and go back to front - covering the underside of your balls with a thick paste of shit residue.

Outside of reminding you that you can't keep tossing your spunk socks under the bed or wiping your fingers on your pillow case when you get done playing with your ass, we here at ED have a Government obligation to teach fucktards like you how to properly wash their hands because odds are that you are taking your dirty, germ covered hand to your job at McDonalds and contaminating the fry station you work at.


The Process

You are the reason why we, as a society haven't evolved past needing instructions on the back of a shampoo bottle so listen good.

  • Step 1: Wet your hands. I know it sounds simple but the reason there are instructions on the back of combs and brushes is because of you. You'd think something as obvious as model glue wouldn't need directions on how to use it or have a warning label but then we have people like you huffing away at it as the reason why we have to get it from the cashier at a hobby store.
  • Step 2: Leave the water running and apply the soap. The water stays on depending how much you were playing with your ass because you might have to go through the wet, soap and rinse steps multiple times.
  • Step 3: Lather hands by rubbing the soap in between them. When fully lathered, lather the backs of the hand and finger.
  • step 4: With a hand brush, scrub those dirty ass hands for at least 30 seconds, getting, especially the fingers you stick up your ass. Dont forget the finger tips and under the finger nails you sick fuck.
  • step 5: Rinse and repeat steps 1 through 5 2 more times sicko. In the case of blood, you might have to do it 4 or 5 more timee.
  • step 6: use a clean towel to dry your hands and not your pants or shirt.
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