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Isle Of Dogs
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STEP THE FUCK OFF! Isle Of Dogs looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.
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There have been quite a few movie trailers that have made us want to go all Jihad Joe on Holyweird and demand our money back for sitting through some directors two-and-a-half hour Magnum Opus. It wasn't until we sat through Texas Weaboo, Wes Anderson's, 2 hour and 21 minute shitfest Isle of Dogs that we are seriously considering this to get back our all important Jew gold.
Isle of Dogs is written and directed by former Texan, now Frog weaboo Wes Anderson that watched one too many Subbed Sailor Moon episodes. Were guessing Texas wasn't Gay enough for him, MIRite?
Isle of Dogs is a fantasy film that promotes itself as being a foreign film despite its being domestic one. Somewhere in the future, the Jappers get sick and tired of eating Dogs and decide to ship them all off to an island of their own, making up some excuse that the dog flu can pass to humans like the swine flu.
Not only does this movie drag, the whole idea that you have to wait for an Engrish translation from either one of the dogs, all the dogs speak English (they can translate the dogs barks, growls and yips but Jaoanese was too hard for them) or the two English speaking characters.
Trust us, this Little Artistic Liberty will have you wanting to punch the person sitting next to you even if you're at home, watching it with Your Mother on Pay-Oer-View.
Plot
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To put it squarly, Isle Of Dogs is a ripoff and mashup of Cats And Dogs and A Boy And His Dog. Not having the Apocolyptic wasteland of A Boy And His Dog, Wes Anderson opted to have the majority of the movie set on a trash island that looks like it was organized by Wall-E as all the garbage is neatly compacted and stacked in squares.
Atari, ironically named because in the game of Go Atari is defined a situation where a stone or chain of stones has only one liberty, and may be captured on the next move if not given one or more additional liberties, is the hero of the movie, whose entire plot gets explained in a five minute summary at the beginning about how a boy Samurai saved all the dogs in Japan from an evil dictator that wanted them all killed in favor of cats.
The name works into the story because Atari is continually being given Liberties, in story, to keep him alive. The first one is when he survives a train wreck the kills his parents. The second: a crash landing in his plane and lives even after pulling a piece of metal from his head. Third: When he dives into a river and everyone thinks he's dead. Finally: when his uncle gives him a kidney to survive because, in the train wreck, one of his kidneys was injured beyond repair.
Don't think the name game ends here, having swallowed a thesaurus, the main dogs' names are Rex, King, Boss, Duke and Chief. Traci, the blonde, Afroed American and coincidently, the real hero in the movie and one of the only human, English speaking characters, translates to courageous and brave in Gaelic because while Atari is looking for his lost dog she is doing all the work proving the conspiracy behind the Canine Flu and exile of all the dogs.