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The Sugar Monster
This article is paid for by taxpayers like you. Thanks, America. |
The Sugar Monster (a.k.a. Heidi Ann Knabe, sugaryumyum, Lasertits, and Fatgasmic) is a 46-year-old, fat, overindulgent, attention-seeking, hypocritical welfare leech from Los Angeles, California, who currently resides in Denver, Colorado, where she has caused a noticeable spike in seismic activity that has been wrongfully attributed to fracking.
Heidi herself is—as you can probably see—grotesquely overweight despite the fact that she had a gastric band fitted back in 2007. This however does not matter as Heidi is a fat activist (who is "trying" to lose weight) and is against any form of weight-loss surgery (despite having weight-loss surgery herself). Scratch below the surface and amongst the quivering mounds of blubber lie a life filled with lies, doughnut jelly, journal entries moaning about how terrible her life is and lulz for everybody else.
Weight-loss Surgery
—Because altering your eating and drinking habits for the rest of your life couldn’t possibly be something worth a second thought. |
The first drama which managed to attract attention to her on ED was the journal entry on her gastric-bypass operation. Whereas fat activists themselves believe being fat is the result of genetics and isn't bad for your health, Heidi herself is unique in that he realizes that becoming fat is caused by overeating - and still claims fat people deserve rights. She is also morally opposed to weight-loss surgery, despite the fact she had the operation performed herself.
- Read it Here
As you can tell by the photographs, the operation was not a success.
SPECIAL MENTION: Shapely Prose
Shapely Prose is a fat activism website who targeted Heidi because she had weight-loss surgery. If this had been anyone other than Thesugarmonster this would have been unfair since losing weight is a good thing if you are morbidly obese. This however is Heidi, who believes stuffing you face until you weigh as much as a trailer is a natural God-given right and that having a gastric bypass fitted is sick and wrong - unless she has it.
—Like all fatties, Heidi does not understand the concept of irony. |
Read the original entries:
Oh the Drama . . .
Aside from the weight-loss incident, Heidi's main priority in life is to document the many terrible things that happen to her every hour of every day.
Welfare
—Food stamps should not be given to the fat. |
- Heidi is on social security benefits
- Heidi also receives her father's social security benefits
- Heidi is on long-term disability allowance
Recently however she was shocked to learn that finally finding a job at the tender age of 31 means she can no longer have a disability allowance.
*cough cough* I'm dying
Partly because she is a fat fuck and partly because she is a hypochonriac, Heidi has a whole host of medical problems:
— Her drugs |
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She's allergic to gluten, trees, cats, has rheumatism . . .
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Her cunt bleeds constantly . . .
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And she's on more drugs than a lab rat.
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Her mother - who really is dying. Heidi could not resist sneaking her fat face into the picture.
She also has:
- Degenerative arthritis
- fibromyalgia. No really.
Mental Health
While she never specifies what mental illness she has exactly, thesugarmonster fills her day my dreaming of various ways to kill herself, though sadly has never had the nerve to shut up and do so. If the endless blog entries begging for sympathy have not convinced you, Heidi is co-dependent, meaning (literally) that her survival depends on the approval of others.
- Her LJ entry on Co-dependancy Notice how none of the symptoms she mentions are actually her fault.
The Assholes
After her original entry on her weight-loss surgery was discovered, several users who were not among Heidi's long list of fans and ass-kissers suggested her problems may not be as hard as she imagines them to be. Outraged by this notion, Heidi makes a journal entry for literally every single nasty comments she receives:
Not surprisingly, after these incidents Heidi disabled anonymous comments. It's one thing to rant on the internet, it's quite another to rant on the internet and have people tell you what a huge cunt you are.
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Quotes from the Blog
—Threatening to kill the only man who dared to stick his dick in the black hole of Calcutta. |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Galleries
Despite her endlessly complaining about much she hates her body, Heidi takes many MySpace-esque photographs of red, cake-filled face and multicoloured hair every day, under the strange impression that this makes her cute and fun.
General Smirking
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The elusive land whale
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If you think I'm sexy and you like my body ...
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Better.
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Heidi as a skeleton, eating candy. The artist has either a severe mental disability or an incredible sense of humor.
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Thesugarmonster drinking out of a menstrual cup
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All finished. Now, to go eat a fried cow.
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That cat is her in-between snacks snack
Weight-loss surgery: before and after
As you can see Heidi has lost weight - roughly 200lbs in 2 years - and currently weighs in at 300 pounds. As you can also see she is not afraid to post pictures of her hideous body on the internet. Do not forget to ask for noodz.
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This is Heidi prior to and a few months after her operation...
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Her bra size is currently 46G
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Note the concave ass.
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Heidi, you're amazing. And so fucking brave to share this with the internet :) - Fantard
External Links
- Her LiveJournal
- Hospitalized: The Saga (archive) - Heidi goes to the loony bin but sadly doesn't stay there.
- A Giant Weepy Mess (archive) - Sobbing.
- What Nobody Knows (archive) - More sobbing.
- Dec. 8th, 2008 (archive) - Yet more sobbing.
- Weight Loss Surgery – The Two(ish) Year Update (archive) - More before and after pictures. All the more skin to hide sandwiches in my dear.
- http://sugaryumyum.tumblr.com - A special category for all the people who want to fuck the flab.
- Her Facebook
- Her MySpace
- Her tumblr account
- On Deviantart Abandoned
- Sparklepeople
- On OKCupid
- On cursebird Watch Heidi swear. Great fun.
- Something Awful Goons get motivated to lose weight and lulz at the land whale.
The Sugar Monster is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
The Sugar Monster is part of a series on Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage. |