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JuicyCampus
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is the current revision of this page, as edited by imported>ElSegCunt at 15:52, 16 September 2018. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this version.
Revision as of 15:52, 16 September 2018 by imported>ElSegCunt
JuicyCampusis was a haven for spiteful bastards who want to publicly crucify their college friends. They'd probably try to post such here on Encyclopedia Dramatica first, except that we do not stand for that sort ofpersonal-army-based faggotry, and usually kill it on sight. Since its inception, it has inspired both hate and fear in its visitors. And thanks to its high level of exposure and the low level of intelligence of its users, JuicyCampus is chock-full of lulz. Several attempts have been made to shut down the website which has only helped boost its popularity. It's also apparently a virulent cancer that rapidly kills every advertising agency associated with it.
JuicyCampus was born in early 2007 by a genius named Matt Ivester of Duke University out of a desperate need for college students to distinguish/disseminate information about:
The only sort of people who post on this website are gossip hound cockmonglers and people responding to smear campaigns against their good names. Topics ranged from who has the loosest pussy on campus to who snorts all the blow on daddy's allowance money. JuicyCampus quickly spread from campus to campus like Facebook's demented twin brother, causing entire campuses to swiftly decend into virtual mudfights where friends stabbed each other in the back and sorority catfights were expanded into drama bombs of Hiroshima-sized proportions.
JuicyCampus was also the site of arguably the greatest dox drop in the history of the internet. A Yale student was outed as a pay-for-gay porn star whose credits included a four-way gay orgy. The poster even included screencaps, elevating the post to a level far beyond epic. Meanwhile, the cocksucker in question found that he couldn't go to class without being ridiculed. It's estimated that 10% of the people living at Yale had visited JuicyCampus and seen with their own eyes a classmate sucking down hot loads of man juice within a day of the original post. Even the New York Times ran a human interest article on the poor SOB, meaning that even more people visited JuicyCampus to laugh at his misfortune.
Ocassionaly some fat whore will complain about being included on the occasional JuicyCampus lists of whores, claiming that the ablility to shove a watermelon up one's vagina will cripple one's future. However some argue that in a world run by men, this could be seen as a marketable job skill and JuicyCampus is just doing them a favor disseminating their whorish, slutty, irresponsible, slutty-slut resumes to the world.
Fighting JuicyCampus
There is virtually no way to combat the largely ad hominem attacks on JuicyCampus, yet hundreds of people valiantly attempt to do so - probably in a vain attempt to garner fellatio from the fucksluts who have been outed by JuicyCampus users. JuicyCampus is perpetually slow thanks to almost constant DDOS attacks. Campus newspapers actively campaign against its evils. Fully half of the posts on JuicyCampus are copypasta posted by people trying to destroy the website's readability. Butthurt victims rush to their lawyers who promptly inform them of their rights and point them in the proper direction. Some notable efforts to destroy the website include:
Pepperdine University's student government passing a resolution to block the website only to be ignored by the campus administration
Google removing JuicyCampus from their advertising program due to excessive profanity.
YOU'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS I HOPE YOU DIE AND GET STABBED IN THE FUCKING BALLS AND YOUR BALLS FUCKING LEAK OUT AND YOU'RE SO SHOCKED AT THIS YOU FUCKING SLIP IN YOUR OWN BALLSACK JUICE AND LAND HEADFIRST ON THE DIRTYASS FLOOR AND YOU FUCKING GET A GIGANTIC HEADWOUND AND YOUR BRAINS FUCKING LEAK OUT BUT NOT THAT MUCH BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE MANY BRAINS BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING CUNT LOSER PIECE OF SHIT LOSER SON OF A BITCH IDIOT FUCKING AIDS CUMBUBBLE MANWHORE ANAL SEX LOVING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT AND I FUCKING HOPE YOU DIE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY IN FRONT OF YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AND NO ONE CAN DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE YOU'RE A GODDAMN EMBARASSMENT TO YOUR FAMILY AND THE HUMAN RACE AND YOU'RE A FUCKING LOSER PIECE OF SHIT IDIOT RETARD WHO FUCKING SUCKS AND POSTS USELESS SHIT AND JUST FUCKING DOES RETARDED SHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD BECAUSE YOUR MOM DID THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS WORTH OF CRACK WHEN SHE WAS PREGNENT WITH YOUR RETARDED ASS AND YOU WERE FUCKING ADOPTED BECAUSE WHEN THE DOCTORS IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM DELIVERED YOU THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SON OF SATAN AND FUCKING TRIED TO KILL YOU BUT YOU WERE SO UGLY A SPHERE OF PURE EVIL, INSANE PSYCHOTIC UGLINESS PROTECTED YOUR STUPID RETARDED UGLY ASS AND YOU WERE UNABLE TO BE DESTROYED BUT EVENTUALLY THEY FOUND A WAY TO ABUSE YOUR STUPID ASS THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD AND THEY FUCKING TRIED TO MURDER YOU A BUNCH OF TIMES BUT EVERY TIME THEY LOOKED AT YOUR FACE
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— Anonymous, Emory University
“
THEY WERE LIKE HOLY SHIT THIS IS AN UGLY KID AND THERE WAS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOU'RE RELATED TO HITLER AND YOU FUCKING PROBABLY LOVE HIM TOO, YOU PROBABLY JACK OFF TO HIS PICTURE EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WHILE SITTING ON YOUR SWEATY, FAT UGLY ASS AND THE PICTURE IS FUCKING STICKY AS HELL AND YOU'VE GOT A BUNCH OF SWASTIKAS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING ROOM BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING NAZI PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS AND SHIT AND YOU PROBABLY VOTED FOR GORE IF YOU COULD VOTE BUT YOU COULDNT BECAUSE IN 1997 THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT IN A LANDMARK DECISION DECIDED THAT GILLETTE SERIES WAS SO STUPID, WORTHLESS AND RETARDED THAT HE DID NOT DESERVE ANY RIGHTS, ESPECIALLY THE RIGHT TO VOTE, EVEN THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT HATES YOU AND EVERYONE FUCKING HATES YOU YOU'RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT IDIOT FAGGOT I HOPE YOU DIE I HOPE YOU DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE AND YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS THINKING I HAVE NO LIFE OR WHATEVER BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DO HAVE A FUCKING LIFE AND I FUCKING HATE YOU GOD DAMN IT AND I TOOK TIME OUT OF MY BUSY DAY TO TELL YOU THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH AND YOU NEED TO HEAR IT FROM SOMEONE AND I MIGHT AS WELL DO IT BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE EVEN WANTS TO TALK TO YOUR STUPID ASS DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE. I'M NOT EVEN FUCKING DONE YET
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— Anonymous, Emory University
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GILLETTE SERIES, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, I SWEAR TO GOD YOU'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS AND JUST A FUCKING IDIOTIC PIECE OF SHIT IDIOT, YOU FUCKING MORON! I NEED TO REPEAT THIS SHIT BECAUSE YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING GET IT, YOU CANT FUCKING COMPREHEND THE SHEER USELESSNESS AND MENTAL RETARDATION THAT EXUDES FROM YOUR OILY, FAT SCALP. LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU: GILLETTE SERIES, YOU'RE USELESS, WORTHLESS, FAT, UGLY, RETARDED, STUPID, AN IDIOT, A MORON, A MOTHERFUCKING MORON, RETARDED, A NAZI, RELATED TO HITLER, WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR GORE IF YOU COULD BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE NOT EVEN THE GOVERNMENT LIKES YOU. DO YOU GET THAT? DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT I AM TYPING RIGHT NOW? CAN YOU FUCKING READ? I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED IF YOU COULDNT, CONSIDERING ALL THE STUPID SHIT YOU POST ALL THE FUCKING TIME, LIKE YOU JUST RANDOMLEY PICK THREADS AND SLOWLY, USING ALL THE POWER YOUR TINY LITTLE CRACKHEAD BRAIN HAS, SOME USELESS TINY WASTE OF DISKSPACE INTO THE THREAD AND EVERYONE FUCKING MAKES FUN OF YOU FOR IT BUT YOU DONT EVEN CARE BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU CAN READ YOU PROBABLY CANT READ VERY WELL AND YOU SEE WORDS DIFFERENTLY THAN EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU'RE A DYSLEXIC FUCKTARD RETARED IDIOT MORON WHO IS JUST A FUCKING USELESS PIECE OF SHIT, I'M GOING TO KEEP SAYING IT BECAUSE THE TRUTH FUCKING HURTS, DOESNT IT EBBYDBOD? YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON, YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON, YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON, YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON! GOD, IT FEELS SO FUCKING GREAT TO TYPE THAT, I THINK I'M GOING TO FUCKING JIZZ MY GODDAMN PANTS! I'LL SHOOT A LOAD RIGHT INTO YOUR FUCKING FACE AND YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR IT, BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LOVE CUM AND YOU LOVE JACKING OFF TO PICTURES OF OLD MEN WITH SHRIVELED DICKS BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT AND NO WOMEN WOULD EVER, EVER FUCK YOU ANYWAYS! EVER!
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— Anonymous, Emory University
“
NOT EVEN THE UGLIEST, FATTEST, MOST IDIOTIC SLUTTIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD WOULD EVER EVEN LOOK AT YOUR PATHETIC UGLY FAT FACE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU'RE WORTHLESS YOU'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU GOD DAMN IT YOU PISS ME OFF BECAUSE YOU JUST KEEP SITTING AROUND POSTING ALL THIS IDIOTIC SHIT AND YOU NEED TO BE TOLD AGAIN AND AGAIN HOW FUCKING RETARDED YOU ARE.
PLEASE, GILLETTE SERIES, RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE. I CAN JUST PICTURE YOU READING ALL THIS SHIT, WONDERING WHY I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND ANYTHING. YOU'LL GET SO FUCKING PISSED OFF YOU'LL FUCKING PUNCH A WALL AND FUCKING EAT EVERYTHING IN THE FRIDGE AND THEN WADDLE BACK UPSTAIRS AND QUOTE THIS SHIT AND SMASH THE FUCKING KEYBOARD WITH YOUR GIGANTIC, FAT HANDS AND SLOBBER PROFUSELY WHILE YOU POUND OUT SOME IDIOTIC REPLY, LIKE YOU COULD EVER EVER EVER FUCKING EVEN COME CLOSE TO THE SHEER HATRED I FEEL FOR YOU, THE BEST PART ABOUT IT IS THAT NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY I'M JUST GOING TO LAUGH AT YOUR FAT, STUPID, UGLY, RETARDED, IDIOTIC, WORTHLESS, MANWHORE COCK-LOVING ASS! BUT IF YOU DON'T REPLY, I FUCKING WIN, BECAUSE I'VE SMACKED YOU DOWN LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE DIE MOTHERFUCKER
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— Anonymous, Emory University
“
i dont think u can talk like that homosexuals my friends go to that college and dont let me get started with ur language punks, dont ever talk about again i agree with the other two before me not the one before me punk
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—Anonymous, Texas A&M
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I am an upcoming freshmen interested in joining one of Ohio State's black frats, particularly Omega Psi Phi. All my life I have felt like an outsider in my white body. I only listen to rap, all day every day and not that lame ass poppy Kanye shit or that punk ass Lil' Wayne. Its all about Wu-tang and Tupac. I hate white bitches with skinny asses. I want a thick black juicy ghetto ass. I LOVE FRIED CHICKEN. I don't think I would fit in at Beta or Sammy or Sigma Chi. I hate polos. All I wear is Fubu and phat farm and Timbs. Oh and I am always packin' in case some punk asses try to jack me or my crew. I just want to know if black fraternities will accept me for what I am on the inside and not what my pale skin says. I am as god made me, but I feel like he made a mistake. Let me know what you think? I want to be accepted for what I really am, a black man in a white body!
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—Anonymous Wigger, The Ohio State University.
“
Whoever posted this thread is a worthless pile of shit. I hope that anything bad that can happen to someone happens to you. How can you make these horrible (completely false) accusations about her and then at the end say that SHE lacks class and couth?? If anything you obvious lack couth you insignifiCUNT little fuck that is going to hell and will get ass raped by 842 industrial sized black dildos every night. If you take the time to actually come on this forum and post this shit you obviously are jealous of her and want other little jealous skanks to back you up. The fucking tag line for this site is that it's "100% anonymous"... how about you talk shit to her face? Or are you too much of a pussy ass shit talking baby back bitch with a sloppy flappy infected vagina.
You are a fucking loser, go to Franklin and suck a big fat homeless dick because obviously that's the only viable source for a hookup you can pull off.
I am going to shove a blowfish in your vagina and scare it.
JuicyCampus is a popular place to talk about shooting up your school. In December of 2007, Loyola Maymount senior Carlos Huerta decided to post on JuicyCampus and /b/ predicting an upcoming massacre at his college. He was promply Partyvanned.
Links
The Website Deleted as of 2/5/2009. It's just a blog now
