User:Wendell T. Stamps/Chris Redmist Penland

To put it as simple as possible, Christopher Redmist Penland is the greatest juggalo ever. A confirmed bachelor who lives in his mother's basement, he spends his time blackmailing 14 year old girls for tit pics, protecting the good name of juggalos everywhere, getting fatter by the second, and looking exactly like you would expect a thirty year old juggalo who still lives at home with his mother and spends his time trying to fuck little girls to look like.

• Neckbeard, check.
• Battlestation in his mother's basement, check.
• Awkward and off-target attempts to look young through his outdated ideals on what the kids of today are wearing? Check.
• Morbidly obese with a taste for underage female flesh...

Double check.

In the beginning

This explains 90% of Penland's problem right here.

A long time ago in a land far, far, away, there lived a juggalo named Chris Penland. He spent his days white knighting for juggalos everywhere and to protect his brethren from the evil force that was the Juggalo Holocaust.

WHY YOU GOTTA HIDE IN THE SHADOWS? AND WHAT THE FUCK IS IRONY?