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Computer Gremlins
Not to be confused with trolls - who cause everything and anything on the internet to go wrong.
Computer gremlins are what cause everything and anything on a computer to go wrong. They are everywhere technology exists, constantly attempting to meddle in your technological affairs. When a computer crashes, is acting slow, or just won't do what you want it to, you can rest assured that computer gremlins are working overtime to ruin your day.
B.T knows what's going on.
History
Back when Al Gore invented the Internets, the communist revolutionary Gary Coleman formed a small band of anti-internets elitists in an effort to destroy it. These followers later were dubbed computer gremlins.
Info to know
Computer gremlins prey on helpless noobs and the computer illiterate; they have few vulnerabilities. One is cottage cheese; computers should be thoroughly doused in cottage cheese to prevent any tomfoolery computer gremlins may try to carry out behind your back. Another is deletion of the System32 folder, which totally negates any and all malicious activity gremlins get up to, prevents future infection, and has the bonus effect of doubling your computer's processing speed.