Missalyssum

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.

BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

TWINS BORN!! TWINS BORN!!

04/10/08 5:32am. Trentapher & Madeline, both 8lbs 4oz. 20 inches long!! YAY!!

CONGRATULATIONS MISSALYSSUM!!!

What are you guys talking about, her fucking chins?

I can has Bio?

MissAlyssum otherwise known as Alyssa Emma Waite-Pratt is a lifecaster situated on Justin.tv. She made her debut mid 2007 where her main form of entertaining was talking to chatters whilst broadcasting herself eating, shitting, getting bitch slapped by her younger brother and singing along to irrelevant songs, practically doing nothing. Occasionally, she would show a tad bit of cleavage here and there, giggling and smiling- you know, the usual slutty/preppy lingo.

Her boring personality somewhat made up for her large cleavage, which even then was inproportionate with her physique. Some have labelled her an ogre, others an obese femme within an obtuce body angle. I myself have been terrified to draw prescence near this atrocity of a female species. It was not until late 2007 where she would flutter her eyelashes to fellow broadcasters on justin.tv and show a hint of her breasts (covering her nipples) to get to the top bar of JTV. Being on the top bar is basically reaching the number 1 spot on JTV, the mac daddy position. By doing this, she attracted a lot of controversies, which eventually lead to her demise.

Between the fall of 2007 and the beginning of 2008, Alyssa was juvenile enough to send n00dz out to random men and contain images on her computer with explicit material. Images ranging from showing her sacred regions to applying oral sex on a midget. She was then exposed on JTV by <anonymous> on 07/01/08. They broadcasted a crescendo of nude images and exploitation pictures of slutty Alyssa. An unfortunate event for her, from there on her life became somewhat timid. It all comes down to the conclusion of her skanky, oddly shaped physique with a no brainer personality. Alyssa, is certainly at the bottom of the food chain, drinking sex milk from midgets and exposing her most privatised areas to the masses. If I were her parents, i'd bitch slap some dignity and pride into her. Additionally, if I were her abusive brother, i'd punch some essense into that dense head of hers. Ahh, the shame. -le sigh-

Cunt has talents? How do I respec them for a Horde Hunter in faggotry

Biting fingernails.
Wearing ipod headsets.
Insecurity skillz.
bj talentz.
titty hax.
holding her nappy headed ho-ass hair, as she laughs like an idiot.
trying to make her fat ass feel better with male attention that will jack off to any body part she shows.
PUTTING ANYTHING SHE CAN GET HER STUMPY, FAT, LITTLE SAUSAGE LIKE FINGERS AROUND IN HER OVER FED MOUTH.
licking telephones, iPhones, pay phones, windows, needles, crust lined vaginas, etc...
In general: Being a slimy, cum catching, disease ridden, alcoholic, waste of skin and breath.

Alyssa across teh interwebz!!!1

Alyssa, a report further indicating Alyssa's slutty ogre behaviour

Her Web of liez

It wasn't until recently when Alyssa decided to converse with one of the many handsome ED admins(Drunkenlazybastard), stating that she was under age during the period she took those images. Regardless, the images were censored with the epic-lulz prescence of Steve Urkel. The conversation between her 'friend' which was, in fact, her pretending to play the role of a friend (because we all know in reality, our friends are there to bitch slap us back into reality from retarded predicuments such as this) pleading to remove her ogre montage:

ED Admin: Where is the proof that those pix were taken when she was under age. If you can provide them I will delete the photos. --Drunkenlazybastard 00:39, 8 January 2008 (CST)

Alyssa: (or LULZ!!1 HER IMAGINERY FRIENDZ) I had a discussion with her earlier regaurding this, she has confinded in me that she was infact underage when those photos were taken, except the one with the time stamp that was off of her webcam.—The preceding comment was added by Yourmomma, who is too much of a faggot to sign his or her own posts. IT'S 4 TILDES (~), NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!

ED Admin: * If she wants to come here and give us proof that's fine, and if they were indeed taken before she was 18 then they will be deleted. I'm not going to deal with some fucking proxy agent of hers, and I certainly am not going to take your word for it that she told you she was under 18. Frankly, those pix don't look more than a year old. --Drunkenlazybastard 01:03, 8 January 2008 (CST)

Alyssa: I am sure she could take a screen shot of her screen and show you when the files were created, thus further proving she was a minor. How else would one go about deleting this? You can email her she said, ~~[email protected]~~ Deleted her email too, cunt.

Do you have an email she can reach you @?

ED Admin: * She can come on here, I don't do email. Also: I know that she was lying, the stupid twat left the exif data on the pictures she took. ie: info about when an image was taken. don't believe me? check out this 'interesting' photo. http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:2i71rtx.jpg , scroll down to the bottom where it says MetaData, then click Show Extended Details. Date and time of data generation 23:03, 16 August 2007 . That picture was taken only a 5 months ago. so it's not CP. I checked the others and they all have rather recent dates on them. --Drunkenlazybastard 01:10, 8 January 2008 (CST)

Alyssa: I guess now the truth comes out. Over IM she just told me she is actually just turned 18 this past December, so 5 months ago, she was 17. I will have her make an account. Thank you.

ED Admin: * horse shit. --Drunkenlazybastard 01:15, 8 January 2008 (CST)

ED Admin: * The only way I will believe that story is if she scans her CURRENT drivers licence, you can black out all the really personal info I don't care about that, I want a photo ID with a date of birth and a face. --Drunkenlazybastard 01:20, 8 January 2008 (CST)

ED Admin: * I'm done bothering with this, either you are some patsy for her or this is actually her pretending to be someone else. In either case I don't like being jerked around. If you have anything else email it to [email protected] --Drunkenlazybastard 01:59, 8 January 2008 (CST)

Alyssa: http://i1.tinypic.com/6obp6qu.jpg

i did just post a link to a photo

ED Admin: * Done. --Drunkenlazybastard 02:23, 8 January 2008 (CST)

Alyssa: thank you

ED Admin: * Leave the rest of the article as is though. --Drunkenlazybastard 03:00, 8 January 2008 (CST)

Alyssa: will do. thanks for the new edits/deletes

How she stunned the world with her web of liez!!

Under 18?

If your ADD prevents you from reading the above transcript, Alyssa bawwed to the sysops to have her n00ds censored because she's under 18, as her driver's license points out. There's only one problem. Her overzealous shooping of her birthdate as 12/16/89 makes her 15 when her license was issued on 8/03/05.

According to The Washington State Department of Licensing:

Before getting a driver license, a teen must:

   * be at least 16 years of age.

Furthermoar, her profile at imeem shows her D.O.B. as 12-16-86, not 89.

Lucky for her, all of her naked pics have exif data that shows when they were taken, and one of them even has the date stamped right on it!

Assuming the date on her Blackberry 8100 was correct when she whored it up for the camera, her photos were taken on the following dates:

1/24/07
3/25/07
8/16/07
9/14/07
10/21/07
7/29/07

Using her actual birthdate, she was (gasp!) ovar 18 in all of the pics! While it may be in ED's best interest to leave her pics Urkelized, that doesn't stop the person that has the original pics from posting them elsewhere and linking to them...

Disclaimer

To those that know Alyssum in real life, we urge you to inform her parents of her own expose in hopes of saving her from becoming a homeless prostitute on the red light district or a crack whore sniffing cocaine from a drug dealers rectum. This is a public service announcement, help this vile ogre turn into a half-decent ogre!

You can find her surfing through cliche social networking sites where she'll most likely be giving her fake D.O.B and sending n00dz of her getting lyposuction amongst other obsurd graphics. She has been paid tribute to on South Park, formerly known as Ms. Chokes-on-dik due to her inproportionate sized/oddly shaped breasts and has made her cameo appearance on many broadcasting websites showing off her ipod headset, attempting to beat other female broadcasters to the top and revealing more shit stains on her porcelain skin.

Her appearances to date:

1. www.missalyssum.wordpress.com

2. www.justin.tv/alyssum

3. www.utterz.com/~h-MissAlyssum/list.php

UPDATE: Her reaction to the events

9:45alyssum: they deleted them

9:45alyssum: because it was child porn

9:45alyssum: :=x

9:45alyssum: :-x

9:45caliguy123: y were u sending nude pics to people

9:46alyssum: i wasnt

9:46alyssum: they got them off of a photobucket apparently

9:47caliguy123: how old is this info arent u 21 now

9:48alyssum: can i call you

9:51caliguy123: my mom and sis r sleeping txt would be better

9:51alyssum: oh i have no texts

9:51alyssum: sorry

9:51whogotmylighter: alyssum. Lighter forgives you!

9:51caliguy123: aim

9:51alyssum: naw

9:51caliguy123: skype im

9:51alyssum: im gonna go to bed

9:51alyssum: i was gonna talk to you in bed

9:51alyssum: but i cant

9:51caliguy123: u can ill be quit

9:52alyssum: k

9:52alyssum: im calling

9:52caliguy123: k

9:53caliguy123: ohhh

Conclusion: This further suggests that the slut hasn't learnt her lesson and is most likely moving on to her next victim of n00dz galore and epic bj talentz!!11

What HAS the cunt has been up to lately?

Even the people who know Alyssa CAN NOT stand her. Her fiance' is across the world doing a service to his country while her disease ridden, behemoth ass is showing her disgusting body for Mardi Gras beads. She hacks into his and her mother's page DAILY, to be sure they do not find out what a waste of breath the cum catcher really is. Even her "friends" see her for the embarrassment she is....

IT'S MYSPACE. BOTTOM TO TOP.

bri♥nna Block User

myspace.com/

Date: Mar 18, 2008 6:17 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [?] Help: Flag Message

Subject:

RE: So not trying to bother you...

Body:

Trust me, you don't want to meet her. Besides being a skank, she is the most annoying person you could ever meet. You didn't hear  
any of this from me. For now I still have to get along with her because she is friends with my best friend. She really needs to 
learn her leason some how though. Oh, if you want you could also resend it to her mom because Alyssa got on and deleted hers too. I 
just think it would be funny :] Have a good day!