Korea
Background
KOREA is the chosen race of God that wants to RULE THE WORLD, and even now are in secret talks to reunite, much to the dismay of China, Japan, and US. This is because they fear that the unified Korea will lulz the world. One look at both sides will show you what the other countries are afraid of. During the 1950s Korea was the site of some epic RL drama, when war broke out between the North and South due to a lack of good Starcraft servers. After repeated defeats, the South asked the Americans for help, in response the Americans and pretty much the rest of the world proceeded to invade and drive back the North all the way to the Chinese border. However, more drama was to be begotten when paranoid chink commies, most armed with little more than their microscopic ding dongs, went apeshit and launched a surprise offensive on the UN armies, who, after some serious anal raping, then agreed to a ceasefire. The Korean War initiated the proud American tradition of bombing the shit out of other countries in order to save them, and introduced the world to the noble Chinese tradition of rounding up a bunch of illiterate peasants, giving them a couple of twigs, and forcing them into heroic, suicidal "human wave" attacks. The border of North and South Korea hasn't changed since, with both sides engaging in a stand-off.
Simplified
North Korea: The pimps with the nukes.
South Korea: The players with the tech.
According to Samuel Huntington the whole idea is for Good Korea to inherit Evil Korea's Nukes after they all starve, thus joining the Nuclear Club, guilt-free.
How to Troll a Korean
.
- Say anything good about Japan at all. Seriously, try it; it works. For more lulz, say "gonichiwa" every time: enjoy the effects.
- Go around saying that Koreans originate from Southeast Asia, like this gook, and all the studies done in major universities are all lulz.
- Buy a Korean girl a fake designer purse (make sure it is a good fake, they have a sense that allows them to be able to sniff out all but the best fakes), have sex with her (should be no problem once she thinks you bought her something expensive with some French or Italian guy's name on it), then reveal to her that the purse is a fake that you bought off some Nigerian guy at a flea market for $10 and watch as her head implodes with rage.
- Say "Dokdo (Takeshima for more lulz) belongs to Japan!" This is guaranteed to send any Korean into an epic rage. An EPIC, EPIC RAGE.
- Explain to them how wonderful Kim Jong-il is, then ask their opinion on him.
- Tell them that most Korean words come from China.
- Ask them how many times Korea has been invaded.
- Call them "gook," "chink," "Chinese," or "panface."
- Tell a Korean girl she'd look so much better with an eye job.
- Tell them about your trip to Asia, and make sure to say that the Korean whores were the best.
- Tell a Korean man that your girlfriend is Korean.
- Ask if dog tastes good.
- Inform a Korean man that usually, when a Korean girl goes to college she can't get enough nigger dick.
- Tell a Korean man that his wife wasn't a virgin, she had hymen replacement surgery. Say that she was your girlfriend, during which time you fucked her as much as possible, and he's lucky to have such a sweet piece of ass.
- Tell them that Japanese is an infinitely more beautiful language than Korean.
- Tell them how Korea has spent its entire history being the bitch of either China, Japan, or the USA.
- Talk to them in Japanese and expect them to understand you completely.
Fun Facts
- All Koreans have hardons for Starcraft.
- All Koreans are the best Asians, just like the Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese- Oh FUCK it, all Asians are retarded. Except for the Filipinos, who make themselves everyone's bitch.
- All Koreans are extremely susceptible to unquestioning belief in urban myths and old wives tales; in modern times those backed by email chain letters or Korean news rather than any actual scientific evidence are particularly dangerous when released upon unsuspecting Koreans. A favorite is that eating dog will transform your vocal chords into those of an opera singer. Also, see fan death.
- Koreans are actually aliens from the planet of Korethra. Your base ours is now.
- 99% of Koreans bear the surname "Kim," "Lee," or "Park."
- one good example of someone with the surname kim is the hot kim tae hee , someone with lee is the hot lee ha nui or someone with pak is pak chae rim
- King Dong Dil, leader of North Korea, is actually a robot.
Typical Response to an American
- Yankee Go Home!
- I'M KOREAN! SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN! AMERICAN IS PIG! DO YOU WANT CHEESEBURGER? DO YOU WANT PIZZA? AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING! BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS MURDERER! FUCKING U.S.A!!!!1
- Your beef tastes like dog turds in glue.
- You mean nothing to us...except for Blizzard.
- KKKKIIILLLL NNNNOOOORRRRTTTTHHH KOOORREEEAAAAA
