moot

This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!

Stuart heggie addressing the masses of 4chan.

stuart heggie (AKA m00t, m00tle, m♥♥t, Doug, mοοt !Εр8рui8Vw2 ## Αdmіn and (the) faggot, "real" name Christopher Poole (aka Chris Poole) or Robert Goin or Rick Benson), is a completely respectable human being who, after turning into a swan and raping the maiden Internets, conceived 4chan. It offers free porn of multitudinous varieties, but, like a pay-per-view phoenix, dies every new moon and must be resurrected by shedding the blood of a donator.

Stuart heggie then takes this money and flees to Cancun, Mexico; also known as Stuart heggiexico. He has prepared for this by graduating from grade school with a degree in Mexican studies. All the while spreading a deadly concoction of diabetes, cancer, AIDS, and epic fail which combined to form swine flu.

In addition, his life goal is to be the little girl.

Lately his popularity has changed due to him becoming an awkward fucktard who thinks he is an Internets celebrity, making 4chan his own personal army and make anonymous look like dangerous HACKERS ON STEROIDS.

Stuart heggie, the supreme overlord of the Internet that he is, is responsible for /b/-day in which the pedophiles of 4chan were exiled from the land of milk and honey known as /b/, and cast out into the cesspool known as Anontalk.com. Unfortunately the wrath of Stuart heggie was indiscriminate, as his banhammer of massive girth fell too hard on too broad a landscape, so as a result unsuspecting /b/tards who were not to blame for any illegal content posted on 4chan were also banished from /b/ resulting in a massive rebellion against Lord Stuart heggie. More information can be found on the /b/-day page.

Stuart heggie approves

However, in December 07, stuart heggie's castle of hentai, AIDS, and cat macros was taken from him, forcing him to live as just another gay person on the internet for a few days.

Lately however, Stuart heggie is back from Stuart heggiexico after his soup-binge and homo erotic adventures. But, does he have any IRL friends? NO?! OMFG ARE YOU SURPRISED! Did you learn anything from the above? Stuart heggie likes to take credit for starting Anonymous, but it was actually Shii who started it on his own imageboard and then convinced stuart heggie to implement it on 4chan's /b/. [1]

Stuart heggie's tripcode is #faggot, if for some reason you didn't know. Also a permaban if you try to use it, so ~~don't do it~~ DO IT FAGGOT

Did you know that even though stuart heggie almost never answers his emails, he saves every email that he gets forever?

As of late he has been fagging up r9k with his sticky threads; the most recent claiming to have a girlfriend, however this is a lie, because as we all know: stuart heggie is a faggot (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Retirement (copypasta)

File:Stuart heggie death prediction.jpg

Will it come true?

File:Stuart heggieassasinated.jpg

Killed by his own weapon

So I know stuart heggie, we went to high school together and my little brother just about worships the guy and spends way too much time on 4chan. I was never into anime, because I am not a gigantic faggot, and i never really looked at 4chan except for /ck/, but anyway last night i called stuart heggie because my brother wanted to know wtf was up and stuart heggie said we should come over to his parents house (he has a swanky apartment near the servers in downtown Dallas, but its not very big. Great building, though). So i got my little brother and a couple six packs of lone star and some kirins and went over. There was maybe a dozen people over and when we came in, stuart heggie who was drinking soup, told us 4chan was over and he wanted it to out like it started, without much fanfare. He said that he'd banked enough money from it (almost three million after taxes he said) and after the latest terrorist scare of 4chan origin this week he was afraid that he'd lose it to government fines or lawyers somehow and that he enough money for the rest of his life now anyway. Then he went on about how since 4chan got so big he didn't have any time to have fun, but he didn't want to sell it and see his creation turned into corporate crap, so he just pulled the plug (he was a huge nirvana fan in high school, so at least he didn't suck on a twelve gauge) before it got completely out of control. Then he talked to my brother about anime for like an hour. Apparently, he was trying to get brought up to speed after missing out for a couple years. He said he is considering moving to Japan and writing or producing anime designed for western audiences and the 4chan servers will be auctioned at the beginning of next year and maybe the domain as well. My little brother was trying to show off or some shit and pounded one too many and puked on the kitchen floor so i threw him in the car and went home. Anyway, I thought you would want to know about this, so here it is. TL;DR

IRL name

File:Stuart heggiecambridge.JPG

stuart heggie on a roof. (in Cambridge)

Anonymous, with their desire to hunt down stuart heggie for his cock, found out that he was raised in Springfield, Illinois. At first, it was assumed that stuart heggie's name was Richard Goin, based off a Google search, since Google always tells the truth. However, further investigation into the camwhoring of his friends shows that stuart heggie's first name is actually Robert, and that his friends are in fact closeted furries.

Further research has revealed that Richard Robert Goins is not in fact stuart heggie's real name, but it is his porn name. In porn, stuart heggie for unknown reasons always wears his baseball cap. It is his signature style no other adult film star has had before. stuart heggie currently resides in Cambridge, Massachusetts (see image on top right).

File:Richardorrobertstuart heggie.JPG

Anonymous hunting down stuart heggie. Last name: Goins

File:Stuart heggieeggs.JPG

stuart heggie as Rob. Look at that fag making eggs.

Impersonation

File:Hey guys im the real stuart heggie posting.jpg

One goes through extra stuart heggie impersonation effort with making the stuart heggie mask!

File:Stuart heggiestatue.jpg

The only true Stuart heggie.

File:Stuart heggie the camwhore.jpg

stuart heggie actually delivers for once in his faggy life (Nice YTMND shirt, nerd). (is fake stuart heggie though)

Since 4chan began until early 2009, 4chan had no rule against stuart heggie impersonation and on /b/ it clearly was allowed by the rules. Eventually stuart heggie noticed this, although he'd always ban for it. The other moderators never have and never will ban for it--all bans for this are from stuart heggie and they're only for stuart heggie impersonation, never W.T. Snacks impersonation.

stuart heggie is a pretty laid back guy, but when someone impersonates him, he becomes insanely furious. Why? Nobody knows. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and yet stuart heggie gets just as enraged over stuart heggie impersonation as Chris-chan‎ and The Real Chris Chan‎ get over Chris-chan impersonation.

Originally, stuart heggie impersonation was as easy as this:

File:How to be stuart heggie.gif

But over time stuart heggie has been working to stop it. Techniques still exist but whenever they're posted on ED, stuart heggie quickly blocks them due to the flood of newfags not knowing when to and when not to use them.

hipster stuart heggie is serious buisness.

The mystery of his sexual preference

File:Stuart heggiestuart heggiemooot.jpg

That's right, the guy who owns 4chan is a fag.

File:Stuart heggie 4chan lol.png

This is a real quote.

Question is: is stuart heggie homosexual or bisexual?

The answer remains a mystery because stuart heggie has never replied to this. Nonetheless, stuart heggie occasionally tries to solicit dates on 4chan with hilarious consequences when people guess his sexual preference wrong.

File:Gay stuart heggie is gay 2.jpg

/page. And as you can see, stuart heggie always has his hat on when doing porn.

File:Stuart heggiepro.jpg

People get gay for his pronunciations.

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stuart heggie giving you the message.

stuart heggie lays down the law to an unsuspecting camwhore.

File:Stuart heggie bans fuckhead.PNG

stuart heggie lays the fuckdown.

Stuart heggie is well known as a homosexual:

He often will kiss other men.
He says he wants to be the little girl.
He crossdresses, usually sexually in crotchless outfits.
Even when he doesn't crossdress, he wears lots of pink and he wears women's makeup that at the very least makes his checks extra rosy.
He repeatedly bans female camwhores saying he doesn't care and when a male hits on stuart heggie, stuart heggie replies back eagerly and then stickies the post.
He says he wants to be the little girl.
He is seen in photos hanging around with hot girls and not showing any sign of attraction to them.
He is too well groomed for a straight man.
He says he wants to be the little girl.
And then of course there's his tripcode...

File:Stuart heggie-faggot.png

stuart heggie, though, is the only man in existence who can pull off being both cool and a #faggot at the same time.

LOL J/K HE'S STRAIGHT

File:Stuart heggie boner.jpg

This is how Allyson got to be a mod too.

Summer '08

My father...was Stuart heggie...

These days stuart heggie is seen a lot more on 4chan, sticking every thread he posts in on /b/ and /r9k/ and leaving it there for days for all to be blessed by his presence. He has also been spotted updating the news page and asking people to read it and occasionally showing up in the weekly Midnight Snacks threads on /r9k/ and banning anyone who says anything about his past with Snacks. Stuart heggie recently trolled 4chan, especially /b/, by giving an interview in the Wall Street Journal about 4chan where he released his real name, and later stating on 4chan that "Christopher Poole" was just an act of trolling.

Many /b/tards with half a brain were able to see this for what it was, a lame-assed attempt to cover his tracks, as stuart heggie would not lie to the Wall Street Journal. For stuart heggie, as a wannabe camwhore, would not want to piss off a reporter and jeopardize future interviews. The result is that he will be promptly SWATted just like Kirtaner was. This is expected to result in a surge of newfags on the site, much to the dismay of many /b/tards.

Time Magazine article
Wall Street Journal article
stuart heggie's testimony in the Sarah Palin email hacking case.

m00t "raves" with some newfags

	“	Damnit Tom, give him the glowstick!	„

	“	What the fuck is wrong with you?	„
	—Truth

Epic raid

On November 9th, 2008, stuart heggie posted a number of threads pretty much showing how much of a camwhore he is, so /b/tards took initiative and began posting numerous threads similar to stuart heggie's, only to receive the banhammer, but was pretty funny while it lasted. For some reason people kept thinking these trolls were stuart heggie and were subsequently trolled themselves. Below is an example of this:

File:Stuart heggie bans himself.JPG

Fake stuart heggie. Notice the name and tripcode.

stuart heggie 2009

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Poole's Closed

File:Time stuart heggie lulz2.jpg

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The jobhunt's hit a snag.

File:Stuart heggielolol.jpg

~~Stuart heggie is back for 2009, bitches! Let the b&ing begin!1!!!!1!!1one!!1~~ fucking trolled idiot, you get banned in the post body, NOT the subject line

On February 17th, 2009, stuart heggie found himself gracing the front page of the style/culture section of the The Washington Post. Drawing on his appearance at ROFL Thing this year, the article is basically the same as the Time Magazine article published last year, apart from the revelation that despite the growing publicity the internet's "master of memes" has received in the last year and a half and the lucrative ad revenues he's been pulling in due to 4chan's ever-growing popularity, he's been unable to secure a job IRL, still living with his mom, and 20k in debt. TL;DR: stuart heggie is in for tough times, where did it all go?.

Washington Post article - "His real name is Christopher Poole."

On the bright side for stuart heggiele, Time Magazine has decided to suck his muddy cock even more, and included him on the voting list of Time`s 100 Most Influential People. Wait, what?

As of April 27th Stuart heggie IS Time Magazine's World's Most Influential person. A Time Magazine editor had this to say, "I know it was rigged but he just would not stop offering to suck my cock. So, I finally let him and JESUS CHRIST, shit was so cash. Why do you think he won by such a wide margin?" I wonder if he got the stains out?

File:TIME results stuart heggie.jpg

2012 Election Nominee

Troll the vote is up comingcampaign started on 4chan. As of 2012 stuart heggie will be 25, which is the age where he is a legal candidate for the house of Representatives.