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Kurohime

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Warning!
Kurohime's response to trolling and flaming is to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING, so take lots of screencaps or risk losing the lulz forever.
Oh joy, another Mary Sue.

Kurohime ("Black Princess" in Japanese. How weaboo of her.), as the name would suggest, is another retarded Wapanese, Final Fantasy fan, DeviantART, and a real life Mary Sue. She's responsible for making web comics that aren't funny and a cache of shitty FF fanart that she posts on her Final Fantasy IX shrine, Quad9Dyne. A quick browse through her site proves that she is batshit insane and made of fail, probably because she tries way too hard to be "funny". Apparentally she got married to a retarded Jap and moved away to Japan, where it "landed us in the center of all that's geeky and otaku." I'm sure her arrival has driven her Japanese neighbors to kill themselves, or at least say something along the lines of "Fuck, another retarded American..."

The Sue

Zidane's missing his neck. Apparentally Kuro was too stupid to notice.

As it turns out, the webmistress' self-insert is a carbon copy of Princess Garnet, but with a tan. Needless to say, we have another Adella on our hands. Being a Wapanese, she gave herself and her self-insert the name Kurohime, which translates to "Black Princess", which is the most original and creative name ever. Apparentally she got the name from another fan-character of hers in the past, who was a Princess of Darkness, or some shit. Either way, she lost whatever credibility she once had.

Kurohime goes by the nicknames Kuro and Kurie. This is how she describes herself:

This is me!! Naturally, I'm going to have to put my FF9 alter-ego into my own comic. I'm by far the most psychotic and "destructive" of all the characters in this strip. I'm fond of both Zidane and Dagger, although I like to pick on them quite a bit. Especially Zidane, although he's quite the good sport and takes most of it without complaining much. Mostly because I won't let him complain, though. I usually have a bad habit of flirting with Zidane, not to mention I really like pulling his tail.

It seems that she got a tip from Sonicrocksmysocks and thought it would be cool to make her character have only one facial expression. Why is it that all Mary Sues have the exact same retarded grin?

Kurohime spends her time being annoying and shouting out stupid shit such as DRAWAGA POWER!!!! while the Final Fantasy IX characters give her collective stares, possibly contemplating murdering her. Other times, she's doing something like yanking on Zidane's tail, like every other typical fangirl. Aside from that, she has her heart set on stealing Zidane away from Princess Garnet, while at the same time being best friends with her. Srsly. Garnet goes to her for advice and they have a "girls night out" all the time.

Apparently, she's a girl who gets mistaken for a guy a lot. Her fans must be absolute retards if that's the case, because how many boys (even the gay ones) draw themselves yanking Zidane's tail and calling him "Ziddy-kins?"

Favorites

Seriously, what the fuck?

Kurohime seems to have a thing for the faggots of Final Fantasy, since she openly states that her favorite "male" characters are Zidane, Vivi, Locke and Tidus. With this in mind, there's probably no doubting that her "husband" is probably a transvestite IRL. On a lighter note, she is attracted to Keifer Sutherland (someone who doesn't look like a complete bitch compared to her other favorite bishies). But on the other hand, all he does is scream "DAMN IT", much like how she screams "DRAWAGA POWER", so there's still not much hope left for her.

As far as anime goes, she loves Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto, and Inuyasha, further proving that she is made of fail. But I suppose you would already know this, simply by reading the shit she posts on her website, such as:

   
“ 		 
My favorite character is Zidane. He ain't just Zidane to me. He's Ziddy. He's Ziddy-kins. He's Zid. He's Z. He's Z-man. He's Ziddums.
  		„
  		 

——Kurohime, in desperate need of self-pwning

His belt looks suspiciously like a penis. Probably helps compensate for something he barely even has.

Throughout her website, you'll see a bunch of bullshit about candy and Skittles and Mountain Dew that she "couldn't explain even if she wanted to". Her forums also make references to the whole Skittles shit, and the website in it's entirity is probably worse then that SugarTits comic by bleedman. When she's not typing about candy obsessions, she has taken up a pastime of raping the theme song for Final Fantasy IX, as you can see here:

   
“ 		 
In my two-gig memory

These programs run so beautifully Pho - to - shop.... Can load up without cra-a-a-ashing on me...
 

„
  		 

—— Kurohime's~ Melodies of Computer Life ~

Does anybody else wish she would self-pwn too?

Gallery of Fail

She makes a half-assed webcomic about Swords and Skittles or some bullshit. Here's some of her best work:


Fucktard

Would it surprise you if we said that the people on her forum are just as bad, if not even worse than she is? Asside from the fact that they attend a forum with a name like "Ku ku ku & Gwah-hah-hah-hah", and where Kurohime's "banned users" are named "uber dorks", you can tell just by looking at their screennames:

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or in this case, a thousand fucktards. I don't think further commentary is necessary.

Dramawhore

Being a lol-cow, you can expect plenty of drama from her. Judging by this journal, she makes a big scene about how she "sees her art being stolen online and sold at conventions". Pretty much she's complaining because people like her art (for whatever reason). She claims that she isn't posting the journal for a "pityfest", but... that's pretty much what happened, judging by the responses, such as:

   
“ 		 
Oh no!!!Miss Kuro thats aweful that they did that to u!!!!

Whether u do any more Inu work or not I will continue to be a huge fan of yours
 

„
  		 

——Inu-Ashi

   
“ 		 
That's stupid, saying you stole art that you made!

People who steal art like that obviously have no talent and are to lazy to draw their own art. Those kinds of people tick me off.
 

„
  		 

——Dark-Sakura1992

   
“ 		 
Kuronee Thats so not fair to you, you're so nice, you dont deserve this treatment Anyway, I <3 you....you're truely l33t
  		„
  		 

——deedala

Every now and then, a fangirl would come along with a big heartfelt essay about how great Kurohime is and other ass-kissing comments. Normally it would provide epic lulz, but so far all it's done is made viewers everywhere vomit in disgust.

Beginning of the lulz?

A humble request for her to "stop acting like a dumbarse"

Shortly after this article was created, somebody left a nice little comment on Kurohime's DeviantART. Judging by her latest journal, she hasn't been on in about a year and probably won't read it. But since she has over 9000 watchers, the lulz is probably just around the cornor.

EDIT - As it turns out, Kurohime came back a year later just in time to hide the comments and responses. Next time she gets flamed and responds, screencap like hell.

Other links

Kurohime is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

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