Hatman

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT TEH BATMAN KILLED THE HATMAN!!!1

GOD HATES ~~NIGGERS~~ ~~HEADS~~ ~~HATS~~ NIGGERS WITH HATTITUDE!

Asia LeeShawn "K-Tweezy" "Hott BOi" Ferguson was a brave Pickaninny who, like the heroic young student who single-handedly faced down a tank charge in Tianamen Square, boldly stood up to the threat of racist rollercoasters.

He came to prominence in June 2008 when he was decapitated by the notoriously racist Batman lollercoaster at Six Flags Uber Georgia while on a trip with his church group from South Carolina (we shit you not). Fortunately, no one riding the lollercoaster was injured. He is currently up for a Darwin Award.

The Greatest AZN?

Asia's interests ranged from rapping about weapons to rapping about shooting people. He was also a committed Christian. He enjoyed KFC, watermelonz, never shutting the fuck up during movies, and having a head. He was related to the once great Leeroy Jenkins through his aunt Lateshia Jenkins. Leeroy is hoping to get some settlement money from dat dere racist park so he can return to greatness.

The Hat Blow

Duane Chapman-Racist and alleged murderer of Asia, plus his delicious wife.

Whilst attending Georgia's Six Flags (moar liek 6 fags amirite) with his youth church group (led by pastor Jeremiah Wright) a fateful gust of wind blew Asia's hat from his head.

The hat in question was most likely an overpriced New Era New York Yankees fitted hat(Hologram stickers and price tag still attached of course), or perhaps a baseball cap worn backwards in the fashionable way that you young'uns do.

Forensic analysis suggests that the gust of wind was caused by internationally renowned racist, Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Collision Course

Within seconds, Asia ran off in pursuit of his hat. He jumped one fence, without dropping his bucket of chicken. Another larger fence appeared in front of our noble hero. Signs surrounded him, saying "restricted area for authorized personnel only", "Danger zone" and "Do not enter." These, however, were prolly written by racists and young Asia was certainly not going to let the man keep at least four fifths of him down!

Unperturbed, he scaled this larger fence. Upon reaching the top he thought to himself "A black man on top of da world eating chicken, and soon a black man in da white house, what a wonderful world." As Asia pondered this thought atop the fence, a roller coaster knocked his head off, resulting in totalulz.

Thanks to the dumbass, the ride was closed for the weekend to show respect to his parents and was to be reopened on Monday. Investigators kept the ride closed until Wednesday to gather more evidence. Some would say this is unlikely, as the only evidence involved was People's Exhibit A, One (1) Head.

Meanwhile people continued to pile into Six Flags regardless, and nothing of value was lost.

LOL WUT HAT?

The nigga wasn't after a hat! Link dead. Yes, while empirical evidence has shown that Asia was certainly dumb enough to chase a hat onto a rollercoaster, recent reports indicate that this is just a black person retelling of the facts. Seems he really was just trying to jump the queue. Time will tell, I guess.

The parents were not going to take legal action at first, but Jew have since changed their minds and decided to sue Six Flags. If they somehow win, it will the most epic fail from a lolsuit since that cunt sued McDonalds for spilled coffee burning her snatch.

Tributes

Asia's death provoked a widespread mourning amongst the African American community, which has not been seen since the deaths of Martin Luther King, Bill Cosby or Aunt Jemima.

	“	Life is so short des days 2 it make no sense	„

	“	I think Asia is was a pretty cool guy. Eh ~~runs~~ ran in front of rollercoasters and ~~doesn't~~ didn't afraid of anything.	„

	“	LIFE IS 2 SHORT LIVE UR LIFE 2 DA FULLEST R.I.P SHAWN	„

	“	Quorneka<<R.I.P Asia Leeshawn Ferguson dont talk to me like dat..dats real mean miles...lol wat you doin	„

	“	R.I.P. SHAWN..LIFE IS TO SHORT TO PLAY WIT IT...DAMN GET YOUR REST...imma miss you "hotboy" shawn:)	„

	“	Thats No Way To Get Ahead In Life	„

	“	YO PAGE IZ SO STUPID!!!	„
	—How Asia will be remembered in life with the last comment evar on his myspace.

	“	HIS FAMLY NEEDS TO SUE THAT RASIST PARK AND GET THEY SELFS PAID	„
	—Sharonda, on BET.com

	“	My heart truly does go out to the Ferguson Family - a great family with strong Christian morals and values. Which if you knew them, as I had the opportunity to do so, then you would know that. I visited the website that Rake placed out for others to view ( http://www.encyclopediadramatica.ch/Asia_Ferguson )…It is down-right sick and degrading. Please DO NOT PASS THIS LINK TO ANYONE ELSE	„
	—A Negro, on BET.com

	“	Was the rollercoaster OK after this incident? I wanna ride this thing.	„
	—Ebaums.

	“	This is tragic, but what the hell made him go into that area? He had to cross two fences to get to where there he wouldn’t be safe. Years ago my friends dared me to do something like this but I said no. Then I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said “Fresh” and had dice in the mirror. If any thing I can say that this cab was rare but thought, “Naw man forget it. Yo holmes to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and yelled to the cab, “Go home, smell ya later!” I looked at my kingdom. I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.	„
	—Richard C. Mongler

	“	sage	„
	—sage, from BET.com

Tribute Video

Another Tribute Video

Mirror on Photobucket: http://s350.photobucket.com/albums/q440/fukkentroll/?action=view&current=sixflags.flv[1]

FUN FACTS

1. Both of the fences jumped by Asia were six feet in height... but Niggas can Jump!

2. "Restricted area -- Authorized Personnel Only" and "Danger Zone -- Do Not Enter" are literally some of the signs that the entire area is marked with. Perhaps Asia's parents should have spent some of that child support benefit on Hooked On Phonics.

3. The decapitation occurred very close to the line for the Batman. Now, placing the line close to the ride is an accepted and popular means of social darwinism whereby the drunk, the high and the terminally stupid can be effortlessly culled. However, when we say close we mean anyone standing there could see the retard's head getting clipped off. Rumor says that blood and brains were spattered on guests, but pics or it didn't happen, amirite?

Delicious Copypasta

1. The 17-year-old teenager, who was killed at Six Flag Over Georgia on Saturday, has been identified as Asia Leeshawn Ferguson of Columbia, South Carolina. Asia Leeshawn Ferguson was decapitated by Batman the Ride roller coaster at Six Flags Over Georgia on Saturday, after the teen jumped over the security fence surrounding the ride, along with another boy, which was later identified as his cousin. At this time the reason why Asia Leeshawn Ferguson jumped the fence remain unknown. Two versions are being reported in the media, the first one is that young Ferguson went over the security fence to retrieve his hat and the second version claims the boy and his mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air" I whisteled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror if anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought, "NAW FORGET IT YO HOME TO BEL AIR!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cab, "YO HOME SMELL YA LATA!" I looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air.

2. Asia Ferguson waited. The ride above him turned and sped out of the air. There was his hat in the ride. He didn't see it, but had expected it now for years. His warnings to Cernel Sanderes were not listened to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Asia was a nigger for seventeen years. When he was young he watched the rollercoasters and he said to dad "I want to be on the rollercoasters daddy." Dad said "No! You will be DECAPITATED BY ROLLERCOASTERS" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the Six Flags base of GA he knew there were his hat. "This is Sanders" the radio crackered. "You must get your hat!" So Asia gotted his fried chicken and blew up the fence. "HE GOING TO GET DECAPITATED" said the onlookers "I will decapitate him" said the rollercoaster and he fired the engine missiles. Asia climbed at him and tried to dodge him up. But then the rollercoaster fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. "No! I must get my hat" he shouted. The radio said "No, Asia. You are the rollercoaster." And then Asia was headless.

3. Now this is a story all about how A rollercoaster flip-turned upside down I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there I'll tell you how my head flew through the air.

In South Carolina born and raised at Six Flags is where I spent most of my days. Chillin out max and relaxin all cool riding some rollercoasters after school when a couple of guys where up to no good, threw my hat in the briarwood. I climbed one little fence and my mom got scared and said your moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Climb Fence" and it had my hat in the mirror. If anything I would say that this cab was rare but I thought naw forget it go home to Bel-Air.

A Challenger Appears?

	“	SEASIDE HEIGHTS, N.J. - A Bulgarian man who took a summer job on a New Jersey amusement pier was being kept alive Monday on life support after being accidentally struck by a roller coaster car while trying to retrieve a child's hat that fell from the ride. Stanislav Dragnev, 21, was one of two workers at the Star Jet roller coaster Sunday night on the Casino Pier. At about 6:50 p.m., he entered a restricted area of the roller coaster to try to fetch a child's hat while the roller coaster was still in motion. "He was trying to do something nice for a child," said Marilou Halvorsen, a spokeswoman for the Casino Pier, one of two amusement ride areas on the Seaside Heights boardwalk. Details of the accident remained sketchy, and police referred all inquiries to the Casino Pier spokeswoman. She said it appeared that Dragnev was walking underneath or alongside the roller coaster tracks when one of the cars struck him in the head, grievously injuring him. Casino Pier security immediately called for a helicopter, which flew him to the trauma center at Jersey Shore University Medical Center in Neptune, where Dragnev remained in critical condition Monday. He had worked at the pier since last Thursday, and was exceptionally friendly to co-workers and patrons, Halvorsen said. "He was always very outgoing and friendly, reaching out, trying to make friends," she said. Dragnev's hometown in Bulgaria was not immediately available, but Casino Pier officials were working to help arrange emergency visas for his family to come to this country and see him in the hospital. The ride remained closed Monday pending completion of an investigation by local police and the state Department of Community Affairs, which regulates and inspects all carnival rides in New Jersey. Chris Donnelly, a spokesman for the department, said the ride was last inspected on March 8 and found to be working properly. Inspectors will try to determine whether the ride malfunctioned Sunday, and whether it is still working properly after the accident, he said.	„
	—Newsgay; July 14, 2008

What is it with children and hats? They just can't seem to keep it on their heads.

This breaking news makes one thing clear, however: Asia Lee has risen from the dead and is possessing innocent people, decapitating them with lollercoasters for the lulz.

Gallery

Hatman Gallery About missing Pics

His spirit lives on in the night.
What really happened.
GENTLEMEN
He certainly had a good day.
His last words
Ride's closed, due to dumbass.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Gangsta until death.
Asia listened.
Will you listen too?
The REAL enemy.
His Myspace friend's reaction to being trolled. Also note the end of line 8 and the begining of line 9. HE MAD
Even in death he enjoys dem fried foods
His obit
File:Hat coaster.jpg
Memorial Hat