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Bean

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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She's "BEUTIFUL"

All about Bean

This photo has not been edited in any way. Yes, she really is that hideous.
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
DO NOT WANT
double chin goes hur.
SHE FIGHT HER BATTLE LIKE STRONG WARRIOR!
MAN THE HARPOONS
Bean feeding her fat ass. JENNY CRAIG PLZ.
Good try, but an epic fail, fatty.
Oh lawd iz dat sum shooping to make herself skinnier right thar?
Bean on ED. She doesn't care, but she'll vandalize her ED anyway. BUT SHE REALLY DOESN'T CARE BECAUSE WE'RE THE LOSERS! NOT HER! NOT THE ONE WHO MASTURBATES TO NARUTO AND YU-GI-OH! LOL.
Bean, post eat attack

.

Wouldn't do with someone else's.
The Uchiha twins, snug as bugs just inside the opening of Bean's cavernous vagina.


   
 
-Im VERY Bisexual--Im 6'0" Im a tall bitch!-

-My breast are so big they hurt my back-

-I have 12 pericings-

-Im really a size 10 in pants but my bum is so big I have to wear 16!-

-My fetishes are: Spanking, Eating-out, nipple sucking, head, and having same sex partners (girl on girl not guy on guy!)-

-I masterbate to my bf Ray and yell out "Marik" for some reason.-

-Ive had 20 boyfriends and they dumped me all because I wouldnt put out!-

-I play with fire and knives-

-I constantly wear a hat-

-I wear emo glasses-

-My Chemical Romance is the only band I truely loved before they came so famous.-

-I party too much-

-I have alcers in my belly-

-I was fingered by a girl...twice!-

-I drink alot-

-My boyfriend and I are 11 years apart.-

-I LOVE Boys spanking Boys!-
 


 
 

—Bean, NOT CARING WHAT YOU THINK, on her HentaiFoundry profile

  • Incidentally large breasts are heavy, and do put a strain on a girl's back, but one has to be seriously out of shape for actual pain to come of it.

Bean, who apparently lives in Canada, is also known as Beani: a mild-mannered young woman and aspiring artist who makes her home on various art websites. By mild-mannered, I mean an absolute batshit insane, pseudo-nymphomaniac who is prone to fits of swearing and lulz-fests, and by artist, I mean a talentless gothcake (who needs to lay off the fried butter) who makes herself feel better by tracing over other people's hard work. She has an unhealthy obsession with various shitty cartoon characters popular with other dumbass weeaboos.

Her recent ex-boyfriend is none other than that guy with ADD from Gamelife, Geoff Mendicino.

Even moar lulzy is her massive e-ego, which is swollen to a size that rivals that of her fat ass. Watch what happens when you stop stroking it long enough to actually comment on her insanity and retina-burning quality of her work

Bean likes coloring over other people's artwork and claiming it as her own.

The audacity of this girl is unbelievable, which is what generally happens when a slough of rabid followers convinces you that it's okay to steal others' art. I mean hey, it's the Internet, and that makes it AWWWRIGHTT. It's not like anybody will mind or anything!

People who claim her art is tracing are just jealous of her skills.

What happens if a challenger appears? One of the following will occur:

  • Bean calls big brother (a.k.a. two of her IRL friends whom she whored herself out to for protection) to flame the living hell out of her accusing enemy
  • Bean calls upon sheep for back-up or sympathy
  • Bean acts as though it doesn't affect her (but we all know it does because she cried on others' profiles and has threatened to leave)
  • Instant comment deletion and block

In other words, typical butthurt teenager reactions. Can't face the audience and admit that you were wrong? Never fear, just hide the comment!

UPDATE 7/16/08: Bean's account of FanArtCentral was just unbanned. GENTLEMEN, it's become clear what we must do. We drove her off once -- WE MUST DO IT AGAIN! MAN YOUR HARPOONS IN THE NAME OF LULZ! UPDATE 7/17/08: ANONYMOUS CLAIMS VICTORY. Bean is once more banhammered from FAC.

Lulzy screenshots

Artwork

We know, Bean, we know. BTW, what's that shit on your face?

People on the Internet are genuine assholes, but they're usually assholes for a reason. Bean has a quality about her that just inspires assholes from around the globe, and that reason is her stunning artwork involving her two goth Mary-Sues, Blair and Midori.

Blair

Blair likes Yami Malik from the hit children's animu Yu-Gi-Oh - a lot - and he wuvs her too. So much, in fact, that he magically became a tangible human being, married her, knocked her up (resulting in two teen pregnancies), attends the correctional ward of Domino High School with her, and lives happily with her and his two somehow magically teenage children. But that's not all! Their relationship goes far back into Ancient Egypt, where Yami Malik and Queen Blair ruled the.. er, other half of Egypt that the pharaoh didn't. Or something. According to a recent statement on a fellow art thief's picture, Blair is also now, apparently, a lesbian.

It's fairly obvious that Blair is simply a recolor of Talho from Eureka Seven, even though Bean fervently denies this. But we all know the truth.

But wait, there's moar! In a fit of ego, she's decided to subject the poor innocent users of youtube to her self-absorbed faggotry!


Beani

Beani is her "hentai" character, featured only on hentaifoundry before she was banned for underage. Beani is one of Bean's oldest creations, and is an online caricature of herself, in all of her cock-sucking, vag-lapping glory, who engages in all the sordid sexual activities that Bean's cavernous, centipede-filled, sixteen-year-old girl vagina craves for.

Midori

Midori is Bean's exceptionally creative Tsunade recolor Naruto Mary-Sue. Bean abandoned Blair after Anonymous caught on that she was a thieving whore. Midori's the brand-spanking-new result of Bean's attempt to start a clean slate by tracing more images. She also happens to be Kakashi's sex bitch, having had some kind of special child with him. HOW DARE YOU FLAMERS ATTACK BEAN! SHE DELETED ALL HER TRACED IMAGES! A RECOLOR IS FINE TOO!

Robin

New to the pack of awesome super-girls in Bean's mary sue parade is Robin, a Storm Hawks character. BUT WAIT YOU GUYS. THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT! Sure, she may be the object of Stork's (some seasick fag who's emo or something) crazy, bordering-on-stalker affections, but she doesn't like him back! Nope! Not one bit! Thus, they are not madly in luv, and is not a sue! She is very legitimately mean and cruel to him, and disapproves of his grotesquely out-of-character attempts at wooing her in usually non-sexual ways 100%.

Oh.

But wait.

   
 
1. Robin finally gives in to Stork and tells him that she always liked him but was scared that if she told him and ruined everything and ended up hurt again
 

 
 

Oh, well. Anyway, Robin is some sort of species that has three toes and some disfigured antelope face called merbs. And, apparently, her and Stock Exchange will be in love someday. That is, if her new obsession with Akira doesn't totally make her forget she ever shat this new skank out of her tiny brain. Being that she's just a baby to Bean's gallery, there aren't too many pictures of Bluebird yet. But fear not, she'll be spreading her sue feces all over devianTard soon enough!

The beginning

In the time before time, Bean pranced around FAC like a goddess, eating up all the delightful fanart that her adoring fans drew of her super speshul character. However, things turned south when one day, a few users of Fanart Central pointed out on the forums that she had been stealing art. Cue shitstorm.
Shading too, amirite?
   
 
Your character, Blair, is a slut. Her sluttiness is undeniable. You have taken a 17-year-old girl, dressed her in clothing that would make a hooker ashamed and prance her around in provocative poses, proudly displaying the family assets to every Tom, Dick and Harry that walks by. face it: You would never wear the clothing Blair wears in public. She has frequent, unprotected sex with a male character she hooked up with. In fact, she's gotten PREGNANT from said sex and had a baby. She doesn't have that "healthy glow" of pregnancy, she's a knocked-up bimbo who got what was coming to her. And now some child gets to suffer on welfare and babysitters while bean-bag here works minimum wage 7-10 at McDonalds to support her brat.Do not call her sexy. I am not in the least bit attracted to that piece of trash
 

 
 

—sakurelf, FAC Member

   
 
Oh! I see your Feamle!^^ Then your probably just jelouse of all the Male and/or Female attention shes getting! X3
 

 
 

—Bean, Because according to her, if you don't think her characters are awesomely hot, you're just "jelouse".

After that, another by the name of Theaphelia went after her, along with others, but she was one of the few who hunted for the originals and slapped that loose clam in the face, thus resulting in image deletions. She continued to sass Bean but was blocked and deleted 90% of her comments as well. It was only a matter of time before she would break.

CupidStunt

Teh internetz makes me angy & hurt so gurdbai >:'(

CupidStunt (Moar like StupidCunt, Amirite?) is Bean's older brother. Their love can sometimes be confused for incest, but what the hell? It's '07, it's okay for siblings to engage in sexual activities, right? CupidStunt, formerly known as xXSingSorrowXx before he was banned for constant harassment and flaming, will go ballistic if you say anything insulting to his sister. He will cuss you out and threaten to beat your face in, like a typical Internet Tough Guy, but in the end he will fail to see that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to beat your face in through the computer monitor.

UPDATE: Cupidstunt left FAC because he claimed that FAC was not good for his health and blood pressure. Success. One down, another few to go.

MOAR: Cupidstunt is NOT Blair's bother, but her pimp.

B*Kewt

B*KewT is not a Disney girl-band aimed at prepubescent audiences, as much as it may sound like it. It is, in actuality, the special, super-clever acronym for Bean and all her Sue-friends. Blair*Kairi Etsuko Wu Tiffany. See? Misspellings with trendy asterisks can be fun and convenient! Blair, the B in B*KewT, is a member of a small and exclusive group of fangirls that take the greatest delight in sitting around in a little circle jerk and wanking on each other's massive Internet (and possibly real life) penises. The girls are very proud of their acronym, to the point of having a fan club for it. It should be noted that outsiders are not allowed to join their group, but adoration and fanart of the girls involved is actively encouraged.

Personal Army

Last Thursday, a troll dangled the baited line in front of the slack maws of thousands of gullible retards. The troll was patient, but eventually got a bite and almost succeeded in making /b/ into their very own personal army. The troll was later revealed to be a FAC faggot by the name of Touzoku-Joou, who was already known to waste hours of their life trolling Bean's userpage as it was, and the thread eventually died a quiet, peaceful death. Nonetheless, it was fairly lulzy while it lasted.

Bean's Message to "Haters"

We're making her famous with her tracings, guys!
   
 
Please do whatever makes you feel worthy and great.

Say what makes you feel Preetier Wiser Bigger Slimmer or Stronger. Even if this means Slagging off Insulting Or Bitching About someone, Physically And Mentally Breaking Someone down and hurting them. Whatever You Do Or say wont make you Feel better and it wont change what makes you feel bad. Writing On peoples shoutbox's nastily and Anonomously wont make you Amazing.. Being Nice and Genuine is what gives you the satisfied feeling. All that will do is make you look like a sad insecure person who bullys people because they hate themselvs. All You 'Haters' are sad and Pathetic its time you realised your fake misuse of words which half of you bullys dont even know how to spell wont make people cry or feel bad about themselves because half of what you say is nowhere near the real truth. Bulling and Hating makes you nothing! its time you looked in the mirror and got a life. Whether You call someone A Slag A Bitch Fat Or Lanky It wont change who you are it will just make you a rotten deciving lonely person. So What does Hating and Bullying Benifit For you? The Answer Is Nothing. If You dont like someone then keep to yourselves!
 


 
 

—Bean, Calling "haters" out on THEIR Misuse And Misspelling of words. Oh, and Bitching At Them for Telling the Truth.

Summary: tl;dr- BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Bean refuses to accept that she wasn't a 'victim'.

INCEST LOL

Bean loves her cream filling.
Bean and David's child. Awwww! SUPER KAWAII!!!! ^____^
Bean's brother, David. He enjoys spanking her ass and cumming in her fat taint. Bean, of course, loves every second of it. INCEST FTW.

Our precious Blair is quite obviously fucking her brother. She even wrote a story based on true events about her brother pulling down her pants and spanking her skanky, bratty ass with his belt before sticking it in and raping her. She discovered she liked being fucked by her hillbilly family, which explains why she's the huge slut she is today.

   
 
N: Blair then heard a tinking sound and turned her head just far enough to see what her brother was doin, to her horror she saw him removing his black leather studded belt from his waist and unbuttons and pulls down her jeans exsposing her deep red abused flesh.

B: *pleading* NO! NO DAVID! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

N: But before she could finish her sentace she felt no less then 30 good hard lashes of the wicked belt hit every inch of her backside. she was sobbing in pain and just then he stopped.
 


 
 

—Bean, Recounting the first time she realized she an incestuous whore.

The story can be found here: http://www.fanart-central.net/story-43506.html lol banned

Although now it turns out that there is no David. For reasons best known to herself Bean made him up:

   
 
Also, I have something to confess. I dont have OLDER BROTHERS!

them dudes on FAC were my friends in my class posing as my older siblings! one was a dude named Jean, the other dude in the pic as David was some guy he took a pic of! HAHAHAHA!

All I have for family is my 14 year old brother Zack and little 9 year old sister Kaley! Sorry if any of you girls felt for them but they were just some of my friends that stuck up for me! Ooh well, good thing I got all that offa my cheast.
 


 
 

—Bean, Milking her own teat for lulz

However, many suspect that there actually are older brothers in her family since Bean's explanation of having classmates pose as her siblings makes NO FUCKING SENSE.

It's theorized she's trying to hide David's existence so that the police won't end their incestuous buttfucking affair and take away their deformed hellspawn.

The forums

At Fanartcentral, the forums are serious fucking business. It's where the more intelligent (Note: use of the word "intelligent" is subjective) members of FAC gather to fellate each other on a daily basis in the Random subforum whilst bitching about how much they hate the mainsite because they have noting better to do with their lives. Though one day, shit turned serious when Silverkitsune posted a thread relating to Bean. http://forums.fanart-central.net/viewtopic.php?t=35848 Bitching takes place and cupidstunt pays a visit to this 'frame parade'.

   
 
You are all a bunch for Losers.

If she trased then shes deleteing them. done deal. You have no right to call her f**king names though.
 


 
 

—Cupidstunt, Bean's bitch brother/friend/sister/mother(?)

   
 
DID YOU HEAR THAT GUYS? WE'RE BAD PEOPLE.

BUT BEAN ISN'T, EVEN IF SHE STEALS OTHER PEOPLE'S HARD WORK
 


 
 

—bishielover75, In response to StupidCunt.

After the slaughter and b&ing of her account, Bean tried to pretend she didn't care about her massive fail:

   
 
As for FAC Friends, I will miss you but

"My memory will Carry Ooooon!"
 


 
 

—Bean, lying terribly

She subsequently ran to her army of dicksuckers to bitch and moan about how stupid FAC was for banning her ass.

Not surprisingly, Bean has a new FAC account, but it seems to exist only as troll fodder.

See also Possibly Bean, Same friends and registered just today to flame Beans bashers and to let them know that the ED article "sucked balls".

Ms. Bean Pays a Visit to ED

Once upon a time, a certain EDiot was making her rounds and noticed that the long unused discussion page had a post.

War was beginning...

Internet officer approves of Ms. Bean
   
 
Whoever has created this page has serious mental problems. I can't comprehend why someone could be so cruel. I know how well this girl can draw and edit pictures and the fact that someone could try to hurt her like this is beyond me! Even if one did trace anything, noone deserves this abuse. This is a human being with feelings that you are dealing with here. The fact that you are slandering her so bad is basically illegal. Buy a gun? Put it in your mouth? WOW! You are truly sick!
 

 
 

Cindymak72 a.k.a Ms. Blair, wondering how she got the internet on the frycooker at McDonalds

   
 
BAWWWWWWWWWWW!
 

 
 

—Mafiosa, summing the entire lulzfest up

Within minutes another joined the fray, causing Ms. Bean to shit bricks and threaten e-legal action to anyone hurting her precious baby. When not defending her "gifted" child's right to spew her stolen shit across the internet like Tubgirl's face, she engaged in rampant hypocrisy...

   
 
Grow up little girl. Does your mommy know what kind of foul mouth you have, darling? Focus your energy on something worthwhile, maybe you can still become a decent human being...but with the shitass attitude you already have, I'm sure it's too late.
 

 
 

—Ms. Blair, SHE NOES DECENT HUMANS!!!11

...Showed her expertise as a high school counselor...

   
 
Your anger makes me chuckle...did somebody do harm to you when you were younger? Is that your problem? That poor attitude must come from some deep dark secret...
 

 
 

—Ms. Blair, apparently oblivious to the fact that her daughter gets spanked by her big brother

...And pointed fingers and blamed everyone on ED for Blair's massive fail, every suicide ever, and all the wars in the world.

   
 
So, you put that under your little hat and think about my background, my education and about how a mother's heart is stronger than any hate out there. It's been a treat seeing how your minds work, and I hope you enjoy yourselves as you desroy people's egos, dreams and self-esteems. Have you ever lost someone close to suicide because they took comments, that were lashed out at them, to heart? Have you ever had to work with a family who just couldn't understand why their loved one decided to actually follow the instructions that these sites suggest? To talk to a mothere who had to read a suicide note talking of pain and the inability to go on and then find their child with their head blown off or their tongue bloated out of their mouth from the pressure of a noose around their neck? I have, and it's the hardest part of my job. Bullying is bullying no matter what the forum.
 

 
 

—Bean-I mean, Ms. Blair, encouraging us to wear little hats

And when confronted with information that would have made even a mediocre parent's head explode with the realization that her daughter is a cumslut, she responded in an oddly calm fashion.

I know my mommy would be worried, but more about my posting of shitty porn and talking about my personal sex life on teh internets than people being OMG MEEN
   
 
So you are proud of her? "My fetishes are: Spanking, Eating-out, nipple sucking, head, and having same sex partners". So you think she might be famous for her art, and her fantasies, rather than her slutty behavior? What sort of mother are you? I guess I was wrong though, it is not her own fault entirely for how she has turned out. I do hope you feel ashamed of yourself though, you might as well pimp her out, to help her get famous.
 

 
 

—Brise, stating the obvious

   
 
Too funny!!!
 

 
 

—Ms. Bean, stating the obvious

Some say that Ms. Bean was Bean herself, as they both make the same idiotic mistakes in typing and are incapable of coherent thought. Ms. Bean also shows a remarkable know-how of internet slang for someone who can't even use her keyboard correctly. But it can't be Bean, because Bean DOESN'T care about ED and DOESN'T have to defend her e-glory! Or does she? The world may never know.

Account Raid

Predictably, as soon as this article hit the front page, a legion of /b/-tards swept across the Internets to wreck havoc on Bean's DA page. Consequently, the results were lul-fucking-zy and would leave a hell of a mess for Bean to clean up next time she oozed her way to her computer.

One of her mindless zombie fans wrote a depressing, suicidal, epic poem for their precious blair/bean, once they found out she was gone, they broke down; http://www.fanart-central.net/chapter-74826.html

   
 
Everyone respects me, becuase they think I am strong,

but if the truth be told, they are all wrong.

For we have all sinned, And that is all there is to say, So please leave Blair alone, And if you won't...

Flame me. Kill me as well...
 


 
 

—Yamikizz, FAC Faggot

New Account

Bean has a new account on DeviantArt. She had said she was leaving to get a job, but apparently she realized that no one wanted to buy traced art and she was too much of a fucking whale to get a job as a hooker. Thus, she is back!

http://hi-lary.deviantart.com

You now have your mission. ROUND TWO IS UPON US! RAID!

Truth Campaign

A campaign was started by two courageous EDiots to tell everyone on devianTART about Bean's--I mean, Hi-Lary's epic failure and art theft. They now face the temporary banhammer, and their return is awaited. Whether they will continue spreading the truth is unknown; they are, however, an example for people to follow. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT CONSEQUENCES. TROLL! FLAME! GET THAT WHALE OUT OF OUR TUBES!!

The Dead Boyfriend

Around a year ago Blair claimed she had a boyfriend who killed himself by overdosing or something to that extent. A few months after this, somebody started spamming her old FAC profile saying that it was her fault he killed himself. She threatened to quit but didn't because her sheep begged her not to.

But is there a dead boyfriend???????

After the spamming, Blair put a picture on her profile of her "dead boyfriend." But after some snooping on MySpace, I have found the same picture on a Myspace account. Is the person with this picture sometimes online?

The answer? Yes.

Bean and Kakashi

How Bean wishes Kakashi would react to her.

Kakashi's actual reaction.

TAKE THAT, PANCREAS!

Because she's such a SMART, RESPONSIBLE young lady with such caring, watchful relatives; Bean decided to go to a party and get herself drunk on her 'fave drink of all; Smirnoff'. The results? Torn esophagus and an inflamed pancreas ... as well as many LULZ!!! Of course, one can only wonder why God didn't just KILL her. She's not productive ... unless you count producing sad, sad Naruto fan characters who become pregnant as being productive. Well, it is reproductive...

...Anyway, here's an account of the incident in Bean's own words.


   
 
• Okay, anyways this yesterday was my Uncle's 25th birthday party and there was a bon fire and drinking. Me going there with my friends around 9 o'clock thought it would be fun if we started boozing as soon as we got there. So, me being a big shot went and grabbed a 40 oz or so of my fave drink of all; Smirnoff...First I was mixing it with cranberry juice and sipping it...then around 1/2 an hour later things got a little crazy and I started drinking it strate from the bottle. So yeah, around 9:30-10:00 I was totally smashed. I didnt get up and do anything stupid I just sat there weavering in my lawn chair and taking a bit too loud. So around quarter after 10 I could barly sit in my chair and the bottle of booze was laying empty on the grass. I couldn't talk, I couldn't stand up, and could barley sit for crying out loud but I managed to get home with my friends at a sad 11'o clock. I stumbled in my house all that was home was my mom and brother, I.Was.A.WRECK. I passed out on the love seat and was there for at least a good 3 and 1/2 hours before I finally woke up feeling VERY angry for some reason and the house pitched black. I then suddenly felt incredibly sick to my stomache and ran to the bathroom where I felt like that stream of vomit would never end, It was finally over and I felt great. I grabbed my blanket and went back to the couch. I awoke not even 5 minutes feeling worse then I did before, so back a ran to the bathroom to rid my stomach of the very last liquid inside. it was horrible. this cycle of 5 minutes rests lasted a good hour before I totally ran of of anything to purge and thats when I started dry heaving, after that little ordeal I ruptured my esophagus and was vomiting blood. (ouch eh?) after that I went back to the couch...In extream pain...and fought the urges to go back to the toilet and hork out my guts. I awoke this morning still my stomache in extream pain (even as I right this). I find out from my mother after I told her everything I remember and she shook her head telling me for one, I could have died of alcohol posioning and two, I got my pancreas inflammed again and will probably in the next hour or so have again the good ol' Pancreatitis. Yes, I've had this before MANY times already fo unknown reasons but this one was caused by my stupid-ass binge drinking. Im probably going to have to go the hospital again and stay there a week or so but Im preying not too. Even as I wright this my hands are shaking and Im crying a little. ANYWAYS I am NOT writing this for pity. This is all about what happeneds when you try to act cool and guzzle a 40 of booze in less then 2 hours. So in short words my friends;

DO NOT PULL A STUNT LIKE I DID AND END UP IN THE HOSPITAL OR WORSE...DEAD! PLEASE PEOPLE IT'S NOT COOL!
 


 
 

—Bean .. Blair .. uhm .. Hi-Lary ... Fucktard.

TL;DR: (alcohol x disease) + BAWWW= ATTENTION!!!!

What this dumb cunt fails to tell her enraptured audience however, is that pancreatitis can't be gotten from a single binge session with a 40oz. bottle of vodka smirnoff Ice... you have to work at it daily, consuming mass quantities of alcohol, so her deliberate stupidity of "fo some unknown reason" is complete and utter bullshit.

Her omission of coming to grips that she is, in fact, a raving fucking alcoholic makes her downplay the fact that pancreatitis doesn't just "go away". It requires hospitalization for, at the very least, the incredible fucking pain it brings. Tylenol will not even put a dent in such pain, and "triple scrip" drugs are required, such as morphine, demerol or dilaudid, as well as massive infusions of I.V. saline, since alcohol dehydrates the body to such a great extent.

If this dipshit is drinking to the point where she claims to have had pancreatitis "many, many times", she is well on her way to the O.R. to have at least her distal pancreas and spleen removed, thus relegating her to the ranks of a fucking diabetic.

Godspeed, Bean!

Of course, since this event, BeanHiLaryBlairMidoriSparklySuepants has gone on to boast again and again about her alcohol-fused excursions, as seen in her latest DA journal. We can only hope that she does, one day, rupture something important and die -- ridding the world of another shitty artist.

Canadian Gangsta

On October 1, 2008; Bean broke out of her rainbows and candy phase and into a new one ... she's now a hardcore gangster: Canadian style. Yes. You read correctly. She contends that she's the leader of a Russian gang in her town fighting bravely for turf! And she'll have pics soon so it happened! LET'S DO IT FO' JOHNNY, MAN!

Notice that she proudly casts her brother Zack and Cousin Kaley in her gang. In the section above detailing her family, she gives their respective ages as 14 and 9. A gang of 9 year olds is a deadly force to be reckoned with.

After having her faggotry pointed out to her, Hilary removed all references to her gang from her journal, pasted a vague, angsty note, and stopped mentioning it.

Fags and Family

After the gang debacle, a butthurt Hilary had a brilliant idea. Since her IRL gang was revealed as being ran a joke -- she'd start an internet one! While it's in its early stages, over the last few days she's had her "Russian exchange student friend" Gene sign up for a DA account, as well as her brother, Zack. Oddly enough, despite claiming they're not internet savvy, they all type like Hilary. Odd, right? And it's not as if Lary has made up online personas before -- LOLDAVID.

Hilary has also urged us to welcome her new friends or she'll "keel us d3d."

Gentlemen, we have a challenge!

Bean has also been kind enough of make us a collage and a table of her friends and family. If you're Canadian and see them around, feel free to greet them.

1. Riley ( was my first friend in highschool)

2. Lesha ( met her through Riley, I love her.)

3. Mason ( funny as hell and weird, more of my brothers friend.)

4. Candace and Chase ( Shes the best mother/friend EVER!)

5. Tyler ( Met him in Cadets 4 years ago, we had a thing going a few times. ^^;)

6. Jenna ( Riley's GF but moved to Brandon. :C I think they are still together.)

7. Gene (not russian Gene, This is THE Gene. <3)

8. Lauren (Met her LONG ago, shes another amazing friend.)

9. Mike (hes my cousin. not in highschool :P)

10. Paula and Me (she's Mikes sister so my cousin too! I hate me. )

11. Karli and Zack ( Karli is another cousin and Zack is my brother.)

12. Jordan ( basically my seconed brother. :P)

13. Victor and Dillon (Victor is a Russian dude and Dillion is another cousin ^^;)

14. Kim (has been my friend since 4th grade, sadly were not so close anymore. :()

15. Kyle (My little hugging buddy! :D)

16. Amanda ( knew her for awhile, shes a great person.)

17. Mikenzie (shes the one with her tongue out, I met her just resently and shes a sweetheart. I dont know the other girl.)

The Contest and the Bunny Troll.

Because our beloved lolcow made the BEST OC EVAAAAR in the form of her dear SID, she decided to hold a contest. Whoever drew the design she liked best would have their character made his girlfriend (which is retarded, because she keeps drawing the faggot making out with another guy. BUT IT'S NOT GAY THEY'RE JUST RAGIN AGAIST THE MASHEEN!!!11) with second, third, and fourth place being given roles in her shitty storyline as friends or sisters or whatever. One of our brave EDiots saw this as an opportunity for lulz and to test just how intelligent Hilary actually was. Thus, said EDiot assumed the identity of 'Bunny Birkenau' and entered a well-drawn entry that was set apart from the other MS-paint atrocities.

The tale accompanying Bunny's entry was one about a cutter, emofag who had HIV, had lost all of her friends in a car wreck, and needed to be saved by SID. You know, the kind of shit an emokid like Hilary would love. Yet, when the contest came to an end, Bunny placed fourth. Even one of Hilary's friends pointed out that this was unjust due to the quality of art. It came out that the reason for this was that HILARY HATES PEOPLE WITH HIV!!1!1!!! As soon as she was called on this, a bawwing fit began (INCLUDING COMMENT HIDING ACTION TO HIDE FAGGOTRY!), which the Troll!Bunny only made worse by claiming to actually have HIV.

Only when Hilary was on the verge of a mental breakdown and started sending weepy songs via YouTube did Bunz reveal the EDiot inside.

Obviously, it's now our duty to troll the fuck out of her now that she's down.

Bean's Friends DIE! OH NOES!

Yes! Our poor thing has suffered yet another setback that will make her little army of weeaboo friends give her lots of virtual cuddles and asspats -- SHE WITNESSED A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT WITH THE BLOOD OF HER FRIENDS POURING OUT THE DRIVER'S SIDE DOOR AND AN ARM LAYING ON THE ROAD!

Yeahhhhhh. No one's buying this bullshit. Just like the David saga. And the dead boyfriend. And the sockpuppet accounts. And all her other lies, this too is an obvious lie to garner attention. More despicable than the others, yes ... but far more obvious.

Shortly after the first journal was up, it was taken down after her story was questioned. A second journal then went up with links to Facebook memorial pages included -- but without any condolences from Hillary herself on them ... which is odd considering she was so deeply affected by the accident that she made a weepy journal and needs therapy and asspats.

When this was pointed out, the second journal was deleted.

A third journal was put up simply title 'Bleh'. When her friends questioned what this was about, Hilary said she was tired from exams. Of course, she was called on this bullshit and questioned more about the tragic event she had been bawwwing about hours before -- only to have her admit that she had made up her involvement in the story. Once more proving the girl's lying, histrionic tendencies.


Gallery of Utter Shit

Links

*http://www.fanart-central.net/profile-Bean.php The recently unbanned FAC account where it all began. UPDATE: Banned again! Anonymous wins! * http://www.fanart-central.net/profile-Lary.php - She doesn't need FAC ... but she made another account -- and was promptly banned. Lulz.

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Featured article November 4, 2007
Preceded by
Theoretical Physics
Bean Succeeded by
Holocaust Porn