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Cory Doctorow

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This is one of Cawy's favourite tourist photos, since he shows everyone what he thinks of them. Only problem is that his Magic Kingdom is covered up (see below).

Cory Doctorow is an egotistical ass/Internet celebrity/hipster/self-promoting Jew and IRL bureaucratic fuck. Ten years ago he was just this guy, y'know, who'd fucked up and flunked out of no less than three university degree programs. Realizing that he was rather a dim bulb as a result, he decided to be Mr. Braunschnozz, bullshitting, shoving, and brown-nosing his way into as many bureaucracies and cushy positions as possible.

BoingBoing

BoingBoing's front page

Cory likes to say that he runs the BoingBoing (gee, isn't that just the whackiest!) web logs. Cory (or Dr. O, as he likes to be called) and his underlings steal ideas from other popular weblogs and post them on BoingBoing, usually years after everyone else forgot about them—showing, like Paris Hilton, that you really don't need any skills to be popular. If you keep telling everyone you meet that you are popular, it will eventually work.

EFF

This guy wastes our air.

Until Cawy took over the EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation), it was devoted to freedom of speech and action on the Internet. Under his careful guidance, the EFF has become the Electronic Fuckface Foundation, a career step for lawyers and opportunists like himself. Cawy is now Mr. EFF, too! Everyone at EFF loved Cory so much they shipped his pale ass to Europe, then he "resigned."

Play-acting

More than anything but stacks of money, Dr. O likes pretending to be an author. He releases his books both in stores and on-line under an open source license so that he will have a convenient excuse for their shitty sales. He drops a lot of 1337 in his books, as if desperately trying to say

Hey, man, I'm fully down with those groo-vey hacker cats, like, daddy-oh.

Cawy has the uncanny ability as a short story author to take a subject that you would think might be really boring--like IP law, venture capital, yard sales--and by adding just a few sci-fi elements to it, turn it into something really amazingly boring.

Apart from the pre-rhinoplasty nose, Cawy has really prettied his Second-Life avatar up! Who wouldn't want to fuck this?

Second Life

Since he's too lazy and unimaginative to make stuff up, and doesn't have to try too hard with all the money he gets from being an IRL bureaucratic fuck, Cawy's stories are all drawn from his exciting experiences in Second Life.

Internet Disease

When Dr. O isn't busy being an IRL bureaucratic fuck or pretending to be an author he likes to log on to wikipedia and manipulate the article about himself, although apparently he is incapable of signing. A quick look at his contributions shows the depth of his love affair with ... Cory Doctorow.

Cawy in another favourite pose, playing Twotsky in a T-shirt (wouldn't his folks be proud!). Hard to find a pic. of this guy that isn't ridiculously flattering, which is a symptom of internet disease.

Disney Obsession

Obsessed with the Walt Disney company, he even calls his haircut the Magic Kingdom. Whenever forced to travel without his personal barber, Dr. O carries a picture of the Magic Kingdom (yes, the haircut) on his person.

Plain old insanity

His daughter bears the unfortunate moniker of Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow (no, really).

See also

  • A blog devoted to showing what a jerk Cawy makes of himself in his BoingBoing blog—it's not very selective, but if you really want to see Cawy proving he's a smug, self-centered, opportunistic attention whore, have a look. The maker is obsessed; there's even a graphing section.

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