Fellatio

~~Me getting my daily sexual experiences while you read a book.~~ ~~Oh, so the nob of your cock is hot pink?~~ HA HA, DISREGARD THAT, I SHOULD SUCK AN UNCIRCUMSIZED COCK AND CHECK THAT OUT

	“	I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.	„
	—J. Edgar Hoover

The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of sucking cock".

Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.

Forcing retards into oral isnt wrong in some countries.

Might need a few moar mouths for this one.

King of the Hill DOING IT WRONG. But that's no surprise, amirite?

Technique

Explanation on how to get head--written by the expert!

Get her really drunk
????
Get her to suck your dick!

The Variation, popular with self injury folk:

While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
She will at this point bite your penis off.
Awesome!.

Gay head

Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.

Autofellatio

Autofellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image of it, proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.

Slang

Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"

This is what's really going on during a blowjob.

This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.

Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?

Lulzing balls
Becoming rich and beautiful
Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking fruit
Chookling mah playmates- See Didaskalos
"Shit was SO cash"

Also

A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).

Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.

Benefits for Women

Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.

Successful Blowjobs

German bathroom blowjob
Brittany Sixx Blowjob

Proper technique
Doing it right
Is she still alive? Edit: It's a trap.
When done properly.

When done properly.
Delicious!
Some are gooier than others.
Two for one! ZOMG pr0n movie link kthnx http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=17569
what
Obvious gay is Obvious.
The blowjob...

The blowjob...
...and the reward.

...and the reward.
Ben Stiller's only successful movie
The few. The proud.
Dorian Thorn sucks cock daily.
A handjob is fine too
Animals do it harder, better, faster, stronger.
Grandma NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Failed Blowjobs

What happen
Stick cock where?
Textbook example of The Volcano.
DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
National pastime of Japan
JAWSOME! Skeet Sharks!
What to do when the bitch fails it
Fellatio done wrong.
Don't try it at school, kiddo! (Or at least post it on /b/)
those lips aren't just for looks.
Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.

Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.
It's like a reverse blowjob,but it kills you.