Black Friday

"Black Friday" redirects here. Maybe you were looking for Rebecca Black?

Black Friday was traditionally the Friday following Thanksgiving Thursday, but as of 2011, Wallyworld decided to move it forward to 10:00 pm on Thanksgiving Thursday.

A Brief History of Black Friday

100 years ago, when niggers were still slaves, the white man was allowed to take a four-day break from working for Thanksgiving while blackies made their delicious Thanksgiving birds. But then Black Jesus freed the coons. While porch monkeys everywhere celebrated their freedom on Thanksgiving Friday, they suddenly found themselves without jobs on the following Friday. Because the white man was still at home enjoying his hard-earned four-day vacation, the negroes decided they would break into the closed stores and takes TVs and bikes (they didn't do it on Saturday or Sunday because they were still niggers, and still wanted to take the weekend off).

But the white man realized he could profit; after all, if the niggers wanted to go to stores on the Friday after Thanksgiving, then probably others would, too. To make shopping on this day more enticing, those capitalist pig Americunts began advertising "steal deals" (named such in honor of the brownies who started this annual shitfest activity) on Black Friday.

Customary Black Friday Activities

As Black Friday was started by the groids, all Black Friday activities are modernized versions of customary activities in AIDSland. Such as:

• Breaking down doors and window
• Dancing on cops
• Dancing on niglets
• Grabbing expensive TVs
• Hijacking cars (see also GTA)
• Complaining about having to work

See Also

Friday the 13th