Figment

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Figment Fagment is a website run by a bunch of fascist Jews with the intent to attract teen, and young adult writers. Since the main userbase of the website consists of 16 year old girls and wrist-cutting niggers, the site is full of fucking awful poetry about how hard it is to be a rich white kid in America, and the daily sufferings these lulfags go through.

About an hour ago, Figment

How it Works

• Books, poems, short stories, and essays can be posted online.

• Each book is ranked by the amount of people who add it to their picks list.

• Each person has a trendsetter rating, based on how fast they can refresh their internet browser so as to be the first person to pick a book.

• In order to reach the top 5, most users have to be popular (the ones who get stuff done on the site and are nice to everyone except for when they're talking about you behind your back through email/facebook) or mass-swappers (people who only care about getting their book into the Top 5 no matter how bad it sucks)

• Harper Collins editors review each book in the top five and give it a vague comment that, with varying degrees of success (depending upon which editor), try to find the one thing that doesn't completely suck.

• The writers then cry to their friends that Harper Collins didn't read the whole thing, when really they did and just couldn't think of anything not incredibly rude to say.

Important People

• Joana

Joana was Inkpop's resident faggot, a former "top five picks" writer, and one of the forum moderators before she had her account deleted. She spends all day touching herself to the Inkpop newsfeed and then talking about the dramas with her groupies because she has no life and needs to fill it up with something. She has been cited as being insanely jealous of one girl's popularity, so far as to become obsessed with anything she does. Given the fact that this section disappeared shortly after it was added, we can safely assume Joana was the one who wrote this article.

• Lex Born

Lex Born is a Inkpop resident who think she's all that. Basically known as a drama queen and usually starting her threads with, "I'm So Dang Beautiful." Thinks she can make beautiful book covers, and has all her minions look up to her, especially Lithiawood. Recently her house flooded, supposedly, and her family moved into a rental house. She's also known as a serial killer, she'll shank you brutally, as it says in her profile. She think she's so awesome. Don't be read her book, Fading Broken Dreams.

• Nella-Rosmarino

Well-liked among the Inkpop people. Not selfish like the ones above. She's a Heath Ledger stalker, and its believed that she killed him. Which she totally agreed to. She's a very good writer and blogger. This is one Inkie who knows how to get attention, usually talking about sex in her thread titles. Don't mess with Nella or Heath, she's so hussy like Lex and Joana.

• Ashlutz

A recent top pick, Ashlutz is one of the well known inkpoppers. She is in a commercial. She's not stuck-up like Lex, but she believes that British people are better than Americans. I mean, why did Ivy in her no sparkly vampire book have to move to Canada? Ashlutz is the one who you should mess with, because she a wuss.

• StormyJ

A wannabe Lex Born. She sucks at writing and is even worse at making covers. Nobody knows who she is and they don't care about her. She's suicidal, which she admitted in a Confessions thread and she hates that she has OCD. She also hates gay people. She believes that Alli_Cat is nothing. She hates everyone on Inkpop. She copies everyone's ideas and she leaves sucky critiques. She writes gay poetry about some redhead kid who bullied her throughout middle school. She is not to be trusted.

Important Books

• Heroes of Destiny

The most epic book ever written, Heroes of Destiny is the story of author Kevin Wong, author of Heroes of Destiny, writing about how he is actually a competent swordsman in the middle ages, or something like it. No one is really sure when it takes place because things like showers and toothbrushes show up. It's basically Don Quixote, except the insane, delusional protagonist is real and is the one writing the book. It is worth noting that the full title is Heroes of Destiny Book I: The Eternal War, which means Kevin Wong, author of Heroes of Destiny, must be working on a sequel.

• Anything by Jessie Di Angelo. Known for having a huge ego and incorrectly labeling things as nonfiction. Oh, and for his minions who bump his threads to high heaven for him.

• In Love With My Brother. Known for being horrendously bad, horrendously hilarious, and just simply horrendous. A good laugh, and a good pick-me-up when you feel your writing is awful. (Which, by the way, it probably is.)

Important Poems

There aren't any, despite the fact that the number of poems outnumber the number of books by...a lot, because most of the site is smart enough to know poetry is gay.

Character Chats

Popular among many users are "character chats," in which they pretend to be people they aren't, much like cosplayers or politicians. They believe the "character chats" help them improve "characters" in their books, so they flood the forums with several thousand of them at once. There is lingering animosity between "character chat"ters and users not bored enough with their lives to join in. Officially, however, the two species are allies and they enjoy civil, if cool, diplomatic relations.

Edit: These character chats have been banished to given their own website to go off and gay it up without bothering the white girls trying to write cutter poetry and talk about how funny penguins are in the forums.

Watch Out!

Despite giving free reign to the members on the site, there are many things you cannot discuss on Inkpop without having members getting upset on the forums. Heaven forbid you mention religion as on InkPop GOD IS LOVING AND SEX IS TERRIBLE. Due to the website catering to young adults, open-mindedness is frowned upon as it promotes thinking outside the box. All in all, inkpop is filled with sixteen-year-old girls like every other writing site ever.

ONOEZ THEY'VE FOUND US!

This article has recently come to the attention of members of inkpop and they are demanding that it be taken down. Sources tell us that inkpoppers are horrible at taking jokes. They also don't understand that ED does it for the lulz so pleads to take down the article or attempts to wipe it will fail.

The Day Inkpop Was Raped

Figment Fagment, although it is essentially a The website was merged on March 1, 2012. Most Inkpop users were pissed as hell at the change and adopted a holier-than-thou attitude when they started joining Fagment all because there was the ability to copy and paste on the website. If you were to compare these pig-nosed faggots to anything, it would be to that extremely ugly new kid that goes to a new school, and acts like he is the absolute fucking shit when he moonwalks in the front fucking door. In response, most "Figgies" "Faggies" are up in arms and running around like whiney ass bitches who haven't been fucked for 5 months and have babydaddies that owe two years worth of child support. Inkfags do not feel welcome at Fagment. The faggots on Fagment be all like "Nigga dis my h00d, fuck u". In short, they will be adding their userbase of 75,000 to Fagment's userbase of 115,000.

It doesn't matter though because the fact remains that the writing on both sites is/was generally horrible and written by teenage weeafags who masturbate to Cardcaptor Sakura. Even the stories that are remotely original are worse than cancer.

External Links

• Inkpop.com — Because nobody uses that shit anymore, nigga
• Figment.com — New home for all of the Inkfags

Figment is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.