Bel-Air

A "Bel-Air" is a 4chan /b/ copypasta meme for which Anonymous will start off with a story about some provocative subject (usually wincest with your little sister), and right around the climax of said story, interject with my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Having engaged you in some compelling story of repressed, animal lust at the thought of banging your barely pubescent sister, you are abruptly treated to the lyrics from the Fresh Prince. A clever ruse indeed.

Original

Pranking Christians with Bel-Air

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IRL Bel-Air

Verbose Bel-Air

English teachers are almost as retarded as their students

This is an anecdote explaining the manner in which my way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started. If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location, and I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district of the City of Los Angeles, California located at coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778.

In the western region of the “City of Brotherly Love” known as Philadelphia, my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is also where I spent my childhood, in my mother’s care. The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature. Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my peers, when two gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived. I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being, and she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister’s husband in the previously mentioned community located at the previously mentioned location.

I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago, yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence. She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation. I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot. Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony). Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France, I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class neighborhood located at the previously mentioned location commonly live. Indeed, I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment.

I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver, and as the driver approached I observed his California vanity plate which, in place of the traditional jumble of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E, S, and H, spelling out the word “fresh”. Additionally, from his rear view mirror dangled a pair of oversized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games. In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique. Instead I cogitatively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community located at the previously mentioned location.

We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of 7 and 8 o’clock a.m., and in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odour through my sense of olfaction. I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival: Here I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the previously mentioned community of Bel-Air as monarch.

Original

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, bourgeois and all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

riA-leB

In Bel-Air, California, born and raised
At the country club is where I spent most of my days.
Having a lark, relaxing all day
Driving some balls right down the fairway

When a band of ruffians, believing they had impunity
Started making trouble in my community
I got in one mere tussle and it gave my mom the willies,
She said "You're moving to your aunt and your uncle in West Philly."

I hired a limo, and as it drew near
The license plate said "DAPPER" and it had dice in the mirror.
I could only deduce that this limousine was quite frilly,
But I paid it no mind and directed the driver, "To West Philly!"

I arrived at the house at 7:34
And gave a generous tip to my kindly chauffeur
Looked upon my new residence, the weather was chilly
But I knew that I was now the Dapper Lad of West Philly

Laptop Rager's Bel-Air

Now, this is a story all about how
Our lives got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how we became the ragers of a forum called CB

In west Gaia born and raised
On the internet was where we spent most of our days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all trollin some noobs outside of the forums
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Started making trouble in our neighborhood
We got in one little fight and Lanzer got scared
He said 'You're movin' with your kind in the CB'

We begged and pleaded with him day after day
But he packed our inventory's and send us on our way
He gave us a kiss and then he gave us our ticket.
We put our ZONY Discman on and said, 'We might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of CB living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait we hear they're pissy, bitches all that
Is CB the type of place they send these ragein cats?
We don't think so
We'll see when we get there
We hope they're prepared for the ragers of CB

Well, the plane landed and when we came out
There was a dude who looked like a mod standing there with our names out
We ain't trying to get banned
We just got here
We sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

We whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said 'STFU' and it had animu in the mirror
If anything we can say this cab is rare
But we thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to CB'

We pulled up to the forums about 9 or 10
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes GTFO'
We looked at our kingdom
We were finally there
To settle our throne as the Rager's of CB

Maple Story

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped to 2D
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you about the fagland, straight from me.

In west Amherst born and raised
Maple Island I spent most of my days
Jumping out attacking relaxing all cool
Shooting some snails outside of school
When a couple of sins
Who were up to no good
Startin making KS'in in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my family tree got scared
They said 'Go get a job advancement.'

I begged mesos day after day
But she lost The Game
She gave NX and sent me on my way.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it, except I can't since I'm a beginner.'.

No class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange potion out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Henesys Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're furfags, KSers and that
Is this the type of place that they should send this noob?
I think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the Noblesse of Henesys

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a GM standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get ban yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like the noob haste, disappeared

I whistled for a cab but it didn't come near
The license plate said "Beginners get 90% off" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say that this cab was an NPC
But I thought 'Nah screw it' - 'Yo to Henny'

I pulled up to FM at 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'MESOS PLZ?!?!?!?!'
I looked at my room
I was finally there
To sit on my ass as a Maplefag

Pedo-Air

This is the story all about how
my life got flip turned upside down
So if you take a moment and sit right there
I tell you how I became the meme called pedobear.

In west Neverland born and raised
Stalking the playground is how I spent most of my days
Checking out max relaxing all cool
Playing with my balls outside of the school
When a couple of kids who were looking real good
Didn't check the offender registry in their neighborhood.
I touched one little kid and her mom got scared and said, "I'm calling the fbi on you sick pedobears"

So I whistled for a van but when it came near
the license plate said chan and there was a party in the rear
If anything I could say this van was a snare
But I thought, "Nah forget it, you can't catch a running bear"

I pulled out of the girl, who was seven or eight
and I yelled to the moralfags, "Yo homos, sage you later"
Looking at her crotch I got there before the hair
She can sit on my bone cause I'm the pedobear.

Yu-Gi-Oh Bel-Air

Now this is a story all about how
my life got flipped; turned upside down;
And I'd like to take a minute;
just sit down, James;
I'll tell you how I became the undisputed King of Card Games.

In northeastern Africa, born and raised;
in the palace was where I spent most of my days
chilling out max and relaxin' all the while,
or playing some card games right beside the Nile.
When a couple of guys who were up to no good,
starting making trouble in my neighborhood!
I got in one little fight and the gods got scared;
they said "You're moving in with Yugi and his Grandpa downstairs!"

I wound up in Japan and things were less clear;
like I couldn't kill folks for losing card games here!
If anything, I could say that this place is lame;
but I thought, "Nah forget it I'll play some card games!"

I bought card game booster packs, seven or eight;
and I yelled at the old man "Yo, Homes, smell ya later!"
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
to sit on my throne with my ridiculous hair!