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Tylor King

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Just ignore dem.
Due to the bravery and courage of Anon and the thorough ongoing reporting by those members. Anon has been awarded the official seal of epic win for its role in raping Tylor King of the Kings Klique gang in Georgia.
   
“ 		 
My fellow brethren, if you happen to be receiving indecent photography of mine dearest, Mallory, disregard them at once. They beith decidedly unauthentic. They have all been befouled by the witchcraft of modern technological image trickery software. Mallory is no harlot, I dare sayeth. I beggeth you, disregard them, disregard them at once!
  		„
  		 

—King Tylor to his subjects

Tylor King and the tens of dollars he made from drug money and sucking cocks.
Tylor has cleaned himself up because his mommy threatened to take away his video games.
First part of an Anonymous bomb threat to Tylor's school.
Part two.

Tylor King is an amazing rapper, producer, and wigger faggot who enraged /b/ last thursday with his hip hop style and ill rhymes. He is the head of the infamous Kings Klique gang in Covington, Georgia, where the pool is always closed thanks to the nigras and AIDS. The FBI is currently investigating him for anal sex. His interests include one day fucking tubgirl, being black and having sex with women. He is so fucking awesome that it hurts.

The Story

File:JustIgnoreDem.jpg This wigger faggot freestyling videos on YouTube. /b/ trolled him all day, but he didn't crack. So we found his girlfriend's MySpace, and her Photobucket. N00dz were found, and then spammed all over EVERY SINGLE ONE of their MySpace friends. Even the guy's mom and grandma's pages.

Tylor changes his MySpace status to:

   
“ 		 
[TyLoRtOt{♥'s}MaLlY] *11/14/07* IF ANYONE IS GETTING "NASTY" PICS OF MALLORY, JUST IGNORE DEM! THEY AINT REAL! THEY ARE ALL PHOTOSHOPPED!!!!!! MALLORY AINT A HOE!!!!! PLZ JUST IGNORE DEM!!!!!!
  		„
  		 

—faggot's Myspace

He deleted his YouTube account, so people started spamming his mom's YouTube account. School was found, pics were sent to every teacher from that school.

Shit went down; lives got ruined; lulz ensued.

Reasoning

A common day in the life of Mallory

Tylor King and Mallory represent an idea, an image that any intellectual being would despise. They focus on their looks, the money they have and worry about their superficial reputations amongst the high school they attend, along with virtually every ignorant child of this generation. It's unfortunate that the human species no longer has any natural predators, because these two, along with their fucked up families would have been wiped out a long time ago. With their inability to correctly speak the English language, use the correct grammar and spelling. It was long overdue before someone were to put these kids in their place within society.

Le Video

A British girl calls and records for epic lulz or fail, depending on your personal beliefs. z2Hd-fpOX-8 Video removed by user

On closer review of the video, we find it to be an epic failure. There was little lulz to truly be gained from the absolute raepage of Rules 1&2. It has also been considered that the britfag should be flamed, harassed and thrown out of 4chan for these blatant rules violation and moral act of sympathy. Update: This video has been removed by the user.

WIN

Recently, Anon was able to extract a victory from this wigger.

Tylor gets pwned because he is a bitch.

Girlfriends

Current

For main article, see Mallory Hazzan.

Jordan (Mallory) Hazzan is a 17-year-old student at Heritage High School in Georgia. Her extracurricular include cheerleading, professional cam whoring, and professional cock swallowing. Although she may have to quit cheerleading due to low grades in cam whoring, cock swallowing and American English as can be seen in her photos and writing. She doesn't have any parents because when she was young her dad molested her over 9000 times. After 15 years of molestation, her mom finally caught on and killed her father, then tried to kill herself. Unfortunately for her, she missed and shot off part of Mallory's lip. Mallory's mom then got a sawed-off shotgun and became an hero. Mallory lived but she was forced to look stupid in all pictures by constantly having the Blue Steel look from Zoolander, thus making her self-conscious and driving her to date what looks to be a 10-year-old boy.

Luckily for Tylor, Anon decided to get to him by ruining the life of his bitch because she is hot and has that weird lip thing. Shortly after her Photobucket was hacked she deleted all the nude photos from it. But the few that Anon were able to get were enough for them. The photos were sent to every teacher in her school, Tylor's mom, Tylor's grandmother, and every student at the school who had a MySpace associated with the school.

Jordan Hazzan is related to Mahmoud Al Qaeda, and has since been seen promoting good morals (read: fucking for money) with members of many terrorist organizations. This qualifies her for special consideration under US law, and a complimentary stay in Guantanamo Bay Bed & Breakfast. Authorities would like to take her into "protective" custody, but have yet to find her. She is believed to be hiding with current boyfriend and gang member Tylor King of the King Klique, the most notorious and dangerous gang in Georgia and surrounding states.

Some would say that the nude photos of Mallory floating around the internet are illegal as they depict the 17-year-old girl nude, and they are in the United States of America. However, under previous U.S. President George W. Bush, the protective law does not apply to terrorists or people related to terrorist organizations. It should also be noted that under the interweb Morals and Ethics Reform Law of 2001, these images do not count as child pornography because of a technicality in the wording of Section 102.1B that states "a 17-year-old child, who places themselves nude on the interweb gives up his/her protective rights, because c'mon... she's almost 18." Outraged parents have this to say:

   
“ 		 
I can't believe how stupid this girl is, can she really expect to be a valued member of society now?
  		„
  		 

—Catherine Baker, Georgia

   
“ 		 
It's her own fault for placing those pictures on the internet. Although, I do feel sorry for the parents who have to justify their child's behavior. Those poor people.
  		„
  		 

—Kimberly Moore, Delaware

   
“ 		 
What the devil is wrong with her face. Is she stuck like that? Lord in Heaven, poor child!
  		„
  		 

—Dr. James Witherford, Sussex, England

   
“ 		 
Yeah I jacked off to her.
  		„
  		 

—Peter Jackson, Ohio

   
“ 		 
Fuck.
  		„
  		 

—IGN

   
“ 		 
Well she forgot when you have defeated the final boss of the Elite Four you must face Gary. That is where she went wrong.
  		„
  		 

—Rellx sperou, Adelaide

   
“ 		 
Kill whitey.
  		„
  		 

—Timothy James Griffin, Canada

   
“ 		 
Would you like to take a look in my basement?
  		„
  		 

—Josef Fritzl, Australia

   
“ 		 
I'd hit dat shit... with a baseball bat.
  		„
  		 

—Henry Thomas, Idaho

Interesting facts about Mallory:

She speaks a perverted dialect of the English language, called wiggerish. A typical sentence in wiggerish looks like:

   
“ 		 
[5 MONTHS & 10 DAYS <3] ThiS is TylORs BByGirl. I LOve YOoh SO mUcH BbYbOy ! FOrEVer && aLwaYS . Ii wiill aLwaYS lOVe YOoh && NothiNg WIll EVeR CHange THat ! YOoh Are My EVerYthIng ! && ii wiill NEVER lEaVE YOoh ! Our LOve Iis FOrEVer.YuLll Snap && Roll !
  		„
  		 

—faggot's Myspace

Anon has yet to translate this enigmatic cypher, thus making it the only encryption that everyone should use. Currently the Pentagon has looked into this claim and has released information regarding the cypher used. Using asymptotic analysis, the cypher appears to be Failed to parse (Conversion error. Server ("https://wikimedia.org/api/rest_") reported: "Cannot get mml. TeX parse error: Double exponent: use braces to clarify"): {\displaystyle O(4.7^{n}^{n})} . The released document estimates the ability to break the cypher as such: "In the analysis we found that it would take 209.7 million computers circa 2008 around 9 billion years before anything close to the original text could be discovered." This information hits the NSA hard stating: "We've worked with all the top universities. Spent hundreds of thousands of hours with our best men discovering encryption methods used currently today, and along comes a little wigger girl from Georgia who kicks our ass." They went on to say, "We will be back to the drawing boards by Monday."

A young Cades awaiting class-A parenting?

Even better, Mallory would appear to have a wiglet growing inside her. She is sporting an elegant cam-whore style shot of her semen trapper with a title "Mallory♥ 25 days left. I cant wait till my little booger gets here. He is my everythinggg!" Also her caption has been labeled with "Cades Mommy" which begs the question, how the fuck do you pronounce "black person"?

Exs

Tylor's Ex

Tylor is reported to love girls with the Blue Steel look. Take a look at his ex. He clearly has a passion for those with clef lips or those whose lips are otherwise distorted. Because he is a virgin, the only thing left for him to fuck is a dog. He claims them to be cleft lip free. This won't stop him, however, his goal in life is to be made fun of for all the bullying he has done in the past. The local students of Heritage Elementary, I mean high school, claim he has sucked more dicks than Gene Simmons has fucked girls. His goal may soon be accomplished as his school holds a dick sucking contest every fourth year following the first full moon after the second Easter of a leap year.

  • Blue Steel Disease
    Blue Steel Disease

His Dad

"David King was tried before a jury and found guilty of one count of incest and two counts of child molestation for acts committed against his 11-year-old daughter. One count of molestation was merged with the incest count, and King appeals from the judgments of conviction and sentences entered by the trial court on the jury's [209 Ga.App. 530] verdicts of guilt."

Lulz Rundown

Sign left on Tylor's mailbox

Anon moved in hard and fast on Tylor. Here is a summary of what has been achieved so far:

  • House listed for sale on multiple real estate agencies.
  • Worked on getting his mom fired from work.
  • Nudes sent to Tylor's Mom, Dad, Grandmother, entire friends list. (Facebook & Myspace)
  • House phone, Cell Phone, Girlfriends Cell rickrolled infinitely.
  • Infinite mailing listings.
  • Taxis sent to his house.
  • Tow trucks sent to his house.
  • Hookers sent to his house.
  • Gay hookers sent to his house.
  • Transexual hookers sent to his house.
  • Islam group sent to his house.
  • Scientologists sent to his house.
  • Christian groups sent to his house.
  • Mormon group sent to his house.
  • DEA notified of his school drug ring.
  • School notified that he plans to bring gun to school on Monday/hiding weapons in his locker.
  • Nudes sent to entire school mailing list.
  • Nudes sent to Police.
  • A shitload of fucking pizzas ordered. (Rumored to be worth hundreds of dollars).
  • A shitload of free condoms sent.
  • A shitload of free boxes from usps.com sent.
  • Many other food delivery services sent to his house.
  • Craiglist faux moving sale listed at his house - "Everything must go". Lulz, however, remained.
  • Nudes posted on school Myspace group/facebook.
  • RL anons posted nudes in public bathrooms and cell #'s around the area.
  • Anon makes fake facebook name and adds many random black men. (For Mallory & Tylor)
  • Principle and his assistants called/rickrolled at their homes.
  • School wiki vandalized.
  • Anon signs Tylor up for the Marines, AF etc...
  • Anon called local animal shelter and reported King raping dogs
  • Anon put a sign on Tylor's mailbox saying, "Just Ignore Dem."
  • Notified Georgia drug reporting hotline about Tylor's meth lab down in his basement.
  • Anonymously reported underground meth lab to covington police website.
  • Anon has confirmed that he indeed has lupus.
  • 3 pizza deliveries (each at ~$200) sent one night from 3 different Pizza Huts, with another 2 (~$150) sent the next day.
  • Mother's Day cards sent to Tylor and Mallorys houses featuring Mallorys vagoo

Shit was SO shopped

Hey Faggots,

My name is Tylor, and I want you to know them pictures of my girl aren't real. All of you are fat, punk ass losers who spend every second of their day editing my girlfriend's pictures. You are everything my crew hates. Honestly, have any of you even gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun editing my girlfriend's pussy in photoshop due to your loneliness, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than my rhymes.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much G'd up. I got a crew full of white wiggers, and a record deal with YouTube. What do you got, other than the latest edition of Adobe Photoshop? I also got mad beats, REAL nudes of my hot girlfriend (You justed edited yours; Those ho's are SO shopped). You are all punk ass niggas who should just grow some balls and real talent. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my score.

See Also

Contact Info

MySpace

YouTube

Tylor King is part of a series on

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