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BLACKbusterCritic

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The man, the myth, the legend.

BLACKbusterCritic, or BBC, is quite possibly the funniest negro you’ll ever come in contact with in your sad, pathetic life. Beginning as a humble movie reviewer who works at Block Buster, he eventually worked his way up to internet celebrity on YouTube. If there’s a bad movie or game out there, you can bet your mittens BBC has detailed it in full for your own entertainment.

Series

BLACKbusterCritic, being the complicated gentleman he is, allows a bit of variety in his videos. As such, most of his movies fall into one of the following series:

  • Blackbuster Movie Reviews – As the title implies, this series houses videos dedicated to tearing the shit out of every bad movie you’ll ever see.
  • PS3 OWNS 360 – This is pretty much common knowledge, but BBC likes to rub it in the faces of those 360 fanboys.
  • Guidelines to Being a Customer – A hilarious series detailing all of the retards encountered at his job.
  • Sonic Brainfart – Quite possibly his most watched series. This series involves BBC delving into the deepest shitholes of the internet and pulling out what he can find on the worst of the worst: the Sonic fanboys.

Internet Vigilante

As we all know, fans of Sonic the Hedgehog are some of the lowest scum on the internet. BLACKbusterCritic, being the vigilante he is, he takes his valuable time documenting these faggots and the products of their existence. As one may assume, this series has caused much butthurt in the Sonic fanbase. Many brave retards have stood up to BBC, basically begging him to stop. And how does he react to this? By adding them to the Sonic Brainfart collection.

KingMasterReview

KingMasterReview, also known as Aubrey.

KingMasterReview, or Aubrey, is quite obviously retarded. This child likes to repeat himself constantly, can’t spell the simplest of words for fucking shit (this is not an exaggeration), had to repeat a year of school, plays with Sonic the Hedgehog plushies, records himself playing with Sonic the Hedgehog plushies, believes he lives with Silver the Hedgehog, and engages in anal sex with Silver the Hedgehog (this is not a joke). When BBC first documented this retard, he responded by bawling his eyes out in front of his webcam in a video he titled, “Hert Fellings.” BBC then proceeded to flame the shit out of him, causing KingMasterReview to retreat to the safety of Silver the Hedgehog’s asshole with a major case of butthurt.

ChasetheHedgehog

See Chasethehedgehog.


Charles Hamilton

Charles Hamilton, proudly clad in the color of life.

A horrible hip hop artist who can’t make music for his fucking life. He began a short lived religion called, “Super Sonic Philosophy.” In this religion, he compares life to a game of Sonic the Hedgehog, claiming the circle Sonic makes when he jumps is the circle of life. He also believes pink is the color of life because the inside of a woman’s clitoris is pink, not taking into account abortion, miscarriages, stillbirth, infertility, anything relating to death that involves the clitoris, or the fact that the inside of a woman’s clitoris is not pink. He stands by this so strongly that he is almost never wearing an article of clothing that is not pink. However, his faggotry does not end here. Using probably the stupidest analogy you’ll ever hear, he believes himself to be Sonic the Hedgehog. Because much of Charles’ time is spent in a studio, or, “buried in sound,” he thinks this makes him Sonic, since sonic means sound and hedgehogs bury themselves underground (even though sonic most certainly does not mean sound, nor do hedgehogs bury themselves underground).

Alix Henriol

All hail the almighty Sonicfag Queen, Alix Henriol.

A batshit insane French who believes she is married to Sonic the Hedgehog and presents evidence of their marriage by photoshopping him into photographs of herself. She is responsible for the horrid internet forum known as Sonic Passion, where faggots pay $30 per month to express their lust for various Sonic characters, discuss which Sonic characters are the sexiest, and make marriage proposals to said characters.


SunaDaHedgehog

A defender of Charles Hamilton. BBC made quick work of him.

Inuboy1000/Kendostudio

Chris-Chan + Spax3 = Brandon Kennedy.

A defender of KingMasterReview. Inuboy1000/KendoStudio, or Brandon Kennedy, is actually the result of a horrific experiment in which the DNA of Chris-Chan and Spax3 were fused together to create an entirely new breed of dumbass. He obsesses over anime, video games, is desperate for a girlfriend, has considered suicide because he cannot obtain a girlfriend, wishes he could kill everyone who has a girlfriend, and desperately pleas for advice from Yahoo Answers. He first attacked BBC with a series of videos detailing how he is wrong about KingMasterReview without actually providing any details. He claims Aubrey is not really like how BBC says he is, despite people who know him in real life have confirmed that he is, in fact, retarded and is, in fact, obsessed with Silver the Hedgehog (as though we couldn't see that as it was). When BLACKbusterCritic fought back, Inuboy had his parents confront him and threatened him with lawsuits. However, BBC responded to this by flaming the shit out of them, too. The battle was short, but funny.

Incident with LightSpeedBlast

Some idiot under the name of LightSpeedBlast decided he had enough with BLACKbusterCritic putting sonicfags on a barbeque pit for all to see. But what really pushed him over the edge was the slaughter of Inuboy. He phished BBC’s account and had all of his videos deleted, when he could have easily just closed the account instead of going through the trouble of painstakingly deleting each and every video one by one. So, like an idiot, LightSpeedBlast assumed he had silenced BBC for good and went on his merry way. However, our hero quickly recovered and reuploaded every single video that LightSpeedBlast deleted.

Better luck next time, Mr. LightSpeedBlast!

Currently

BLACKbusterCritic is doing fine. He uploads new videos every now and again.

BLACKbusterCritic is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal