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345rv5

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"personality: clam,collective,knowlegdeable, outspoken and cool."

345rv5 (aka Evan Henry DeSaussure) is an oversensitive tartlet that takes anime shit way too seriously. To him, all the Mario games, Bleach, and Naruto anime are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS where terrorism, plunder and child abuse take place. On a daily basis he interjects his unwanted opinions in lengthy comments and journals on DeviantART.


Beef with Bowser

345rv5 spends most of his time in his grandmother’s basement where he has made it his life’s mission to flush himself down the toilet to get to the Mushroom Kingdom and rape Peach, but mostly convincing everyone that the Mario games are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS and if you insist on only seeing a plumber eating mushrooms and jumping on turtles to save the princess YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT. 345rv5 loves doing his lecturing tl;dr while abusing the comma key on his keyboard and masturbating to Princess Peach.

Evan hates Bowser. HATES. He considers him to be THE MOST EVIL "malevloient dictator" of all time equal to SATAN. Evan's also in love with Princess Peach soooooo when other tartlets started pairing Bowser and Peach as a couple he went completely batshit crazy.

His theory is that Bowser is the reincarnation of an ancient powerful demon hence his EVUUUHL ways of tennis playing, and that the magikoopas are a thousand year old cult of evil terrorists. Ironically, while exposing THE TRUTH of the Mario series he continues to draw his Peach fantasies, even if Peach behaving like a slut is completely out of character.

   
“ 		 
Cruel and ruthless he is a power hungry tyrant who leads violent attacks that threatens the lives of millions he is very cruel and sinister,sadistic,twisted,genocidal,racist,brutal,twisted,and commited numerous crimes such as abduction, theft, robbery, terrorism, abuse, toture,harrassment, blackmail, arson, destruction, numerous attempts of mass murder and genocide, minion facilitation, child endangerment, assault, and even acts such as frame-up, fraud, and identity theft.
  		„
  		 

—345rv refering to Bowser

Even a hardcore 34 pairing of bowser and peach is better is than this bullshit. Oh yeah and the Koopas? They're part of a Satanic cult too...


Mariowiki Faggotry

Not even tartlets could take such a fucking ridiculous statement over an 8bit video game character seriously so 345rv5 attempted to take it up with the neckbeard gamers by vandelizing the Bowser Mariowiki page. Looks like even fat fuck gamers don't give two shits about his opinions on Bowser and to Evan's surprise, didn't take them as fact either. HOW DARE THEY not see Bowser as a remorseless and diabolical monster, incapable of loving, who instills fear !!!


Drama ensues between 345rv and some fag on the Bowser article's talk page
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Bleachtarded Bitches

Last thursday, 345rv5 posted a new DA journal entitled "Arrnacar Fighter is a Bleachtarded bitch " about a tartlet that dared to say his favorite Naruto character would loose in a match against some other gay Bleach character.

He starts off by complimenting the guy, saying "he's a pretty good artist" but by the end he's so pissed he calls him "second rate" and a "10 year old girl" which ironically, is the only one 345rv5 could manage to offend with with such MEEN words.

The incident took place over this shitty animu picture where 345rv5 literally responded to every comment on every page with a lengthy bible length post on why his favorite naruto character is the strongest. Like a true autistic, most of these replies were completely unwarranted. At one point he was literally trying to argue with someone who actually shared his point of view. Proving once again, that 345rv5 is a complete social failure incapable of even basic human communication skills. This is not the first time he's done this either. He's tried several times to win arguments on the internet centered around hypothetical non existent anime super heroes.


Misc gay shit

  • 345rv5 / Evan is dirty mix of Black and Hispanic.
  • He constantly bitches about Naturo and Bleach but reads the new chapters religiously.
  • Reads fanfics all day everyday. Also, writes them
  • Uses the words EPIC and FAIL nonstop and finds them humorous. EPICruto and FAILREACH LOLOLOL
  • Claims that "Obama really is a secret Nazi" and blames him for any and all problems.


Cartoon girls Evan DeSaussure gets off to

You sick fuck. *Actual list. Typos Included.

  • "princess peach
  • tsundane
  • princess zelda
  • jean grey
  • strom
  • she-hulk
  • wonder woman
  • princess daisy
  • samus aran
  • chun il
  • anroid 18
  • rukia
  • chi chi,bluma"

Anddddddd any other animated non existent female he can get his hands on. Real girls are ew pig disgusting.

"here for:showing off art skils"

  • The way 345rv5 sees Super Mario
    The way 345rv5 sees Super Mario
  • Reality check for who?
    Reality check for who?
  • Bowser = Dick Cheney.
    Bowser = Dick Cheney.
  • Bowser is an otherkin!!!
    Bowser is an otherkin!!!
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See Also

345rv5 is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

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