Fundamentalist

I've told you twice, we're married in the eyes of God, and that makes you my bitch.

Christianhillbilly has a special relationship with God.

Fundamentalists ("fundies," "fgts") are closeted homosexual hardcore believers of their religion, which they believe is the only religion in the world that can accurately explain the truth about the history of the universe. The average fundamentalist, whether Christian, Muslim, Lord of the Rings fanboy, Star Wars fanboy, goth fangirl,Atheist or furry, spends most of his or her time on the Internet engaged in intellectual debate with other fundamentalists or atheists over subjects such as whether Jesus, Muhammad, or maybe even Insane Clown Posse wanted their followers to kill all the Jews, Arabs, fags, etc. True fundamentalists write slashfic based on favorite characters from their holy books, and constantly perform acts of kindness due to their beliefs. FundieMENTALists do not believe in science as they believe it is a trick of satan to mislead them. Fundies also do not waste their money on medicine and would rather pray in order to cure their cancer. In Latin, "fundament" means ass, ergo, all fundamentalists enjoy buttsecks.

Atheism leads to Civil War.

This fundie never evolved from the primate stage

Will teach their children after death.

There are fundamentalists in every religion:

Christianity

Note: Christian fundamentalists are identifiable by their large, incestuous families. The husbands refer to their wives as "Mrs. [their surname]". Fundamentalist wives, assuming that they have not had their tongues cut out, usually refer to their husbands as "my Master.", and are seen as baby-machines, as these crazy-ass fundies say that all birth control is wrong.

Communities

• Baptists
• Conservatives
• God Hates Fags
• Objectiveministries.com
• ReligiousFreedomWatch.com
• Republicans
• Teens-4-Christ
• Focus on the Family

People on the Internets

• YouTube users:
  • VenomFangX
  • Tony48219 -Murdered a fellow student for Jeezus
  • Yokeup lonely
  • PeeFinster Deleted
  • TheRivettheadMILITIA MEMEMBER WHO KNOWS THE DAY OF THE rapture
• DeviantART:
  • DBoyWheeler
  • MarkyVigoroth
  • PilgrimJohn
  • RejectedDreams
• Other:
  • Carico
  • Purelily
  • Andy Schlafly
  • Goldenplate

IRL

• Jack Chick
• Ann Coulter
• Jerry Falwell
• John Hagee
• Ted Haggard
• Sarah Palin
• Pat Robertson
• Kerney Thomas
• Way of the master
• The Rapture
• Myah Walker
• Dan Lirette
• Tim James

Scientology

• L. Ron Hubbard
• David Miscarriage
• Tom Cruise

Islam

• Arabs
• Futhman
• Iran
• Osama bin Laden

Atheism

• Richard Dawkins
• Rational Response Squad
• The Blasphemy Challenge
• TheAmazingAtheist

Internets

• Furries
• Al Goreians
• Cthulhu
• Nerds
• Raptor Jesus
• Fanboys
• Wapanese
• Ron Paultards
• Anonymous

Trolling fundamentlists

• Tell them their religion is complete bullshit
• Tell them to experiment with other religions
• Ask their opinions on other religions
• Mention that their religion might not be true
• Ask them to troll other religion, then show them how their religion is just the same as the trolled one.
• Here's for epic lulz. Become friends with a fundamentalist. Find another fundamentalist (same beliefs do not count). Copy that person's name. Tell the fundy you became friends with about this person. After that, watch the lulz from the two morons.
• Start any conversation with them about anything, and watch them troll themselves
• Also, Poe's law states it is almost impossible to tell the difference between a fundie and a parody of a fundie.This makes it easy to pretend to be a fundie and troll the fuck out of everyone.

Remember: you can't spell "Fundamentalist" without "amen", "fun", "fund", "a", "mental" or "a list". Also, you can't be a fundamentalist if you're not an ass.

Related Links

• Limited knowledge for all fundies
• Enemy of all fundies