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Furry Paws

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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.


Furry-Penises, much like its counterpart Neopets, is an online pet simulation for lonely fat girls with no IRL friends. Run by Nazis, pedophiles, and furries, the community takes the MY DOG IZ MY BEST FREND concept to an entirely new level. Whereas most retards just get a real dog to make up for their social ineptitude, players on Furry-Paws make fake ones to compete to see who can be the greatest dog breeder of all time. No one on the entire shit hole of a site has enough balls to say what they are actually thinking, because they are afraid of getting their asses Perma-b&.

Concept

How to tell if you're a loser.

Like most social retards who play online games, players dedicate their waking hours to feverishly improving their virtual dogs through bad-ass methods like equipping them with diamond collars and feeding them chocolate chip cookies, after which they spend the rest of their time clicking through pages of “shows” in a desperate attempt to improve the levels of their dogs.

Unlike in the real world, where success is measured in tangible artifacts, success on Furry-Paws is measured by how much time you dedicate to sitting on your ass entering dogs in shows and accumulating virtual money. Basically it's for fat fucks with no life.

Gallery

The Hot Pieces of Ass on Furry Paws About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Forums

Despite being social rejects, players on Furry-Paws take the opposite moral ground to other sites hosting communities of losers, maintaining a fascist regime of upholding as much political correctness as humanly possible. Consequently, the community is incredibly easy to troll as the mere mention of anything controversial will cause a flurry of backlash, with members demanding that the OP see the light and convert to either a liberal or conservative mindset (depending on the issue at hand).

Members, in an attempt to be cool, can’t resist engaging in feeding trolls, resulting in a vast amount of lulz to be had.

As of late, there has been posts circulating to encourage members to embrace the fact that it is okay to be what Furry-Paws says you shouldn't.

The Rant Board

The only portion of the site where anything even remotely interesting happens, the rant board consists of 12 year old girls BAWWWWing about how hard their lives are, how nobody loves them, and more shit nobody cares about.
EDIT: The rant board was deleted. Furry Paws sucks.

   
“ 		 
i do not like the kids at my school there so meen. some of them make fun of me because of the animals i have. or the gams i play. the way i dress and stuf like that. i just wish they wold stop.
  		„
  		 

—Typical rant

   
“ 		 
Imagination, you know, what you people weren't born with. If you play FP without imagination, who can call this fun? It's fun to have imagination. Of course, you probably don't know, but imagination is a quality. It is important and is great. The wonderous things that have come from imagination are so many.
  		„
  		 

—12 year old girl on imagination

   
“ 		 
I'm so sick and tired of people being so senstitive to the subject of spanking x_x What's so immoral about it? . . . I spank my dogs . . . thers nothing wrong with it.
  		„
  		 

—Furry Paws player on S&M

   
“ 		 
Oh my gosh....Im NEVER going on that site again, I opened a "message' that they sent me, I opened it and, A WHOLE BUNCH of PORN popped up. Oh. My. Gosh, my stomac hurts.

Never give them your email address, you dont want these sick fools to have it!
 

„
  		 

—Distress on Furry Paws after attempting to blank this page.

   
“ 		 
I deleted it..and it came back. What the ....?
  		„
  		 

—Not understanding how wikis work.

   
“ 		 
lterly . . . fp is My whole life.
  		„
  		 

—Basement-dweller

   
“ 		 
Okay so I am like Emo right and like I don't know how they found out but like most people at my school and on other web games make fun of me.I can be who I WANT TO BE!But like I can't stand It!
  		„
  		 

—More BAWWWing on the rant board.

   
“ 		 
With my time the past two weeks, I havent had time to talk to my friends, in real life, muchless make a whole web page "haters site" about fp and the players. I love FP! Thats why Ive bee playing so long, I would never have the heart to do that site anyway, even If I did really dislike someone on this game.

Though I did "LOL" a few times, im not going to lie, But some of the things were hurtful and out right rude. I didn't even know about the site until, someone accusing me of doing it messaged it to me, there i read the first pargragh, and replied "LOL, WTH?" as in WTH is up with this site, Its soo stupid," though I did laugh because I do realize I am a loser decaited to breeding pixel dogs and I find myself thinking about it in my daily life...LOL
 

„
  		 

—Player adamant, 'I didn't do it!'

   
“ 		 
I take care of my [Furry Paws] dogs seriously, I come on here every day after my classes, and take care of them, and it is the reason I get up in the morning and drive myself to class without hitting the guy infront of me for being so freakin slow.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
Don't you dare say my dogs aren't real!!! I'm a philosopher, and I belive that nothing is real!!! So it my dogs are just as real as you are!!!!!!!!!
  		„
  		 

—Philosopher

   
“ 		 
I actually sit at my computer all day long, and only get off to: a.) Get some food to bring back to my computer desk. b.) Go potty. or c.) sleep.
  		„
  		 

—Basement-dweller

   
“ 		 
I used to be lesbian to . . . I changed and Im 17 now, I was lesbian when I was 14 and a little bit when I was 15.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
I would and always will place Furry Paws first
  		„
  		 

—Basement-dweller

   
“ 		 
I'm drawn to boys who don't really have girlfriends or have never gotten too physical. They don't have a big ego since they don't brag about 'who they have slept with' or anything to that nature. They are just innocent, and it is so more attractive. And, of course, I adore the fact that my innocent boys don't smoke or do drugs. They are just innocent little flowers.
  		„
  		 

—Pedophile

   
“ 		 
I need a guy about my intellect, 12th grade and i'm 11
  		„
  		 

—"I'm mature!", insist members.

   
“ 		 
I was truly honored to find myself on ED this week ^^ I wondered when I'd make the cut. Too bad it's gone now :/
  		„
  		 

—Yet another dumbass

   
“ 		 
(Topic)"You Know You've Spent Way to Much Time on FP When..."

(Posts by various members)"10) when you spend free time working out how much interest you will get when you hit a certain amount of fpd (done that lol). xD" "12. You find yourself checking a topic every 10 minutes to see the new replies" "13. You hear the title of a song on the radio and think about naming your unnamed puppy in your litter that." "20. when you check on your threads when you're supposed to be hanging out with your boyfriend D:" "24) When you spend most of your time of fp, and when you're not on it you're daydreaming about it" "59) When FP becomes your homepage" "60.) When you go to school and write your FP name on a test. o:" "76) When you make up a song about FP and sing it in the shower XD"
 

„
  		 

—ACTUAL Posts/topic byBasement-dwellers

Previous Quote | Next Quote

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • A leaked mod screenshot. Part 1.
    A leaked mod screenshot. Part 1.
  • What they do "behind the scenes".
    What they do "behind the scenes".
  • Worse than children..
    Worse than children..
  • Any opinions?
    Any opinions?
  • You're crossing the line..
    You're crossing the line..
  • i wun a fish and bought a bowl! - OMG lyk get a bigger bowl or ill call PETA - stfu ur gay im awesome
    i wun a fish and bought a bowl! - OMG lyk get a bigger bowl or ill call PETA - stfu ur gay im awesome
  • Member realizing faggotry gets them nowhere.
    Member realizing faggotry gets them nowhere.
  • A confession arises.
    A confession arises.
  • I haet FP nao I'm not a lusr liek ED sez!! [/butthurt]
    I haet FP nao I'm not a lusr liek ED sez!! [/butthurt]
  • i r b 10 yrz old n knt handl bad pikks or mi mom banz mi frm da interwebs
    i r b 10 yrz old n knt handl bad pikks or mi mom banz mi frm da interwebs
  • How to get 165 replies on your topic: talk shit about Pitbulls.
    How to get 165 replies on your topic: talk shit about Pitbulls.
  • Trolling 101: Know your audience.
    Trolling 101: Know your audience.
  • Helpful Advice
    Helpful Advice
  • Even when they hate you, they love you.
    Even when they hate you, they love you.
  • Workin' hard
    Workin' hard
  • It's all she has
    It's all she has

Lulzdrama!!!

Furry-Paws has had many lulzy times in it's history, these are just a few of such times.

September 2010 - OMG ED GOT ME HAXED!!

A new trend that has recently risen from the bowels of Furry-Paws. One day an attention whore thought of a great idea, a way to get sympathy and free money. She quickly posted a board, insisting that "someone at ED had to have hacked her" and she lost "over 70million dollars!!" The players, quick to react, began to panic and change passwords, and paranoia spread. Then a new challenger appeared, someone who had a reputation of being an honest person. They claimed they were hacked but "nothing was taken." They too blamed ED, and more paranoia spread. Who knows if the mania will continue? Who will get "hacked" next? Stay tuned to this page for the exciting continuation!!

September 2010 - Snowshoe is Carlou! B&! OMG DRAMAZ!

On an epic day in history, Snowshoe was called out for being Carlou with the help of many EDiots. S/he denied it and managed to get two posts closed before our knight in shining armor spread his hands far and wide and dropped a banhammer on her ass. However, Snowshoe appears to be so obsessed with the "truth" that she continues to denies it. A few sophisticated players believed that Carlou was not a lie, and stood up for them. The post in general was a huge fail. EDiots everywhere hope this sparks many lulz, however, and expect it. They also expect Snowshoe to "quit" at least 142357 times.

The end of the drama:

On September 28th, 2010 a thread appeared containing the truth of Snowshoe and Carlou. The thread was very quickly removed by the moderators, but not before this EDiot could capture screenies and save images. These are such images, proving that once and for all- Carlou IS Snowshoe:

File:Carl1.png
The original post
File:Carl2.jpg
Snowshoe admits to being Carlou, but tries to gain sympathy
File:Carl3.jpg
Snowshoe wants to delete everything
File:CarlSnowshoe.jpg
Snowshoe talks to herself in an attempt to sound more believable

July 2011 - Skullsmasher fakes his/her/it/she/the death!!!! OMG so SAD )~:

In a sad attempt to get out of commissions and be a sleezy skate, Skullsmasher faked his death. Like many people before him, they obviously couldn't do anything fucking right like pretending to die and move on with life. Apparently skin cancer or some bullshit was the killer, leaving behind many questions unanswered, many BAWWWING left unheard. His girlfriend Blitz seems to go on like nothing happened, continues to sell art/post on forms even though her lover is dead and gone. Even worse, a new artist appeared right after the day SS kicked the bucket. Claiming to be SS's friend IRL LOL and that he taught her how to draw, Loveless has the exact drawing style as the old Skullsmasher and is buddy buddy with Blitz as well. Because thats what Skullsmasher would of wanted LOL. It seems he got off skott clean, keeping all the money from his poor commissioners for himself. Countless BAWWWING posts about him dying can be read on the General Board, seeing how the mods let this fly. Skullsmashers dead, end of story.

April 2012 - "HACKERS" of fp are stealin mah account!!!

Some awesome people, clearly for the lulz, acquired passwords and usernames of the most annoying people on FP and trolled. The first person to be hit was Paws, an autistic 12-year-old who was dumb enough to give out her account information as well as her full address and phone number. Soon after Cinder, Flinch, and a few others found themselves "hacked." Shazzy X is currently holding an anti-hacker campaign and giving out free FPP to those who are hacked. LOL HIT HER UP FOR FREE MONEY.

How to tell if your account is hacked? Well you can't login shit-for-brains. Your tag will be respectively changed to a picture of Chris Brown and the trolling will commence. If you see the pain series posted on the forums in your name, then you clearly did something wrong. Stay tuned for more trolling accounts.

PROTIP: There are easter eggs hidden across FP from the hacked accounts that the mods were too stupid to find. Lulz to you if you found them.

July/August 2012 - HATE SITES ARE BAD!!

Hate sites, otherwise known as "we're too retarded to figure out how to edit ED" is a collection of cancer inducing blogs hosted on Tumblr in which members of Faggy-Paws gather to spew their drama and cry about each other. They have only recently come to the attention of site owner, Kahlem, however, and due to such they are now BANNED from ever being talked about!!11 After the moderators pulled the trigger too soon and banned user Pales, Kahlem decided to announce that she can ban whoever she wants with or without proof of connection to such hate sites (but if you ask the mods its "WE ALWAYS HAVE PROOF GUISE!!!"). Some may remember this is the same sort of man hunt that went down after this ED page was created. For now, it seems, the hate sites will be opened and deleted by Tumblr within a few days, and their spread seems minimal.

Ways to Troll Furry Paws Players

File:Letoforus.png
For us?! You shouldn't have!
  1. Mention your unfixed, mixed breed dog
  2. Own an unfixed dog
  3. Breed your dog (or cat)
  4. Say you support people eating dog meat/meat in general
  5. Be against gays
  6. Kill an animal
  7. Don't take your dog to a vet (even if it ONLY has a HANGNAIL!)
  8. Support cropping or docking (and not necessarily by a vet)
  9. Hate pit bulls/bully breeds
  10. Support dog fighting
  11. Remind everyone that the site's owner never does anything.
  12. Mention, even in passing, that you enjoy eating dog meat.
  13. Tell blond(e) jokes
  14. Say you don't support adopting from a shelter
  15. Post a topic that could trigger someone (rape, eating disorders, etc)
  16. Say you're 14 and pregnant and how proud you are to be so.
  17. Mention ED
  18. ATTITUDEEEE!!!
  19. Say you hit your dog
  20. Mention the revamp
  21. Hate dog update posts
  22. Reply to any of Abs posts with the URL to her website.
  23. Make rant regarding annoyance of mods
  24. Go to the heart of the beast: server located at 69.175.77.178; watch as basement dwellers cry over 12 hours of lost work on their dogs
  25. CHATSPEAK.

Furry Paws "Mature"

Recently a new website cropped up known as "Furry Paws Mature." The essence of Furry Paws "Mature" is that members can go and talk about "mature" things that they can not on Furry Paws. It has turned into, however, a "Bawwww my life sucks" website where Ieosous goes to cry about how horribly depressing her life is. When Ieosous isn't busy crying about everything that exists, the other members are crying about how their mommies never loved them, and how shitty the Furry Paws moderators are. Luckily for them, they can bitch their little hearts out and say whatever they want- because the mods had the rule books thrown at them that shows no matter what lies they create, they can't get in trouble on the actual site. (Though it certainly wont stop them from trying)

TL;DR:

BAWW BAWW BAWW BAW BAW BAW BAWWWW Ieosous' life sucks BAWWWW BAW BAW I got a warning for cussing BAW BAWWWW BAAAWWW People think my emaciated dog is too skinny and bitch at me about it and I'm such a huge cunt BAWW BAAWWWBABABAWWWW. She loves to listen to her parents have sex (as she mentioned on FPM) and refuses to realize she is spoiled. She thinks the phrase "Haters Make Me Famous" is true and loves to cause "drama" wherever she happens upon. When Ieosous is not being a spoiled brat bitching about her life she is fucking other men.

File:Fpmatureforsrs.png Furry-Paws Mature

WARNING:

Joining FPM instantly makes you ineligible for anything on Furry-Paws. This means you can't win chat contests, you can never be an image bank rater (or have images accepted into the image bank), or a newbie helper. Basically, join under a fake name and never say who you are if you hope to be anything on Furry-Paws besides a low life fuck up (see what I mean by mods still try to get you in trouble?)*.

  • this doesn’t apply to people who are already moderators, of course. How else would they spy on members?

Lupercori

"Sully is half lab and...half shitty mongrel. He is the foundation stud for the breed of dog I plan to develop using him the Lupercori (which is latin and roughly translates to Angel Wings). The Lupercori will ideally be sound dogs for both children's hospital work as well as nursing homes and even pets (like Sully, they should all embody his extreme averageness)."

Lupercori are Becky's attempt to breed a superior butt-fucking dog breed, so she can finally have something to shove her strap on woman-penis into. "Demo Dog. Life Guard. Search and Rescue Dog. CGC, TDI and a bunch of other letters. He is one awesome dog and an absolute joy to work with" translates into "Will lick peanut butter out of my butthole, like my many fat fan girls on FP who have no idea I am actually a woman".

Becky justifies creating this mystikal dog breed to the twelve year olds on FP by falsifying her fugly mutt's titles and by writing small novels in response to one line questions of which she cannot answer, and by cleverly distracting them by dropping hints about pizza. She also claims that in the 21st century she has no way of proving her dog's titles, getting a video of him actually working, or pictures of him doing anything. Besides jumping off children's playground equipment of course. But there was the time when they all decided they wanted pizza hut, so they conferred for a short duration, agreed on a compromise between half meat lovers (Becky loves meat) and pepperoni, but then decided pizza hut would take too long so they debated about dominos but is it really artisan they asked themselves? But surely they couldn't lower themselves to papa johns, that would be blasphemy. What they ended up getting was little ceasar's and boy was it delicious.

This breed has yet to exist because nobody in real life is able to understand what a "lupercori" is or why a black dog that looks and acts like every other black dog in shelters across America should reproduce. But hey, pizza.


See Also

External Links

Furry Paws
is part of a Series on
Cyberpets

Pets:

Aywas • MyAdopts • Dragon Cave • Furry Paws • Khimeros • Neopets • PsyPets • Rikopets • Tamagotchi • Subeta • Wajas

Related Crap:
Digimon • Pokémon • Psypets• Sparkledogs • Spore

Furry Paws is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Furry Paws is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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