Instagram

IT'S A PICTURE OF AN OLD CAMERA ON AN APP THAT USES FILTERS TO MAKE PICTURES LOOK OLD, GEDDIT?!?!?!

Instagram is a terrible app, powered by fail and AIDS that takes pictures and runs them through shitty filters and then posts them on the Internet. Because of these filters, Instagram is mainly used by people who want to mask how ugly their faces are, as well as cock-sucking hipsters who feel that they must photograph and share all of the stupid shit that they do throughout their day to everyone they know. Instagram is also its own defunct social network where people can share their worthless and ugly images to other users.

You can't even use it on the real Internets, it was only available through their shitty iPhone app at first, and then later on Android. Facebook bought this pile of shit for a billion dollars.

Ew poor people

Sometime in 2012 Instagram opened their network, which was previously iPhone exclusive, to poor Android lusers. Much butthurt was heard from the iPhags who claimed that having Android phones on their network was akin to having AIDS in the pool.

Before Instagram was cool

Ask any hipster about Instagram, and they'll recall Instagram before it was cool in the style of war vets - that's possibly because they wear the same shoes. But the hipster with the highest hipsterism will recall an app which existed around 100 years before Instagram - called Hipstamatic. A biased and unreferenced source says that over 100 years ago, the Hipstamatic was some crappy wannabe-avant garde camera which epically failed during the 90's. It's creators were so bummed about this they just sat there and waited. And waited. Twenty years passed - until the perfect technology came along in the form of the iPhone - the handset aspiration of every self-respecting hipster.

So an app was created in 2009, and was so seldom used it passed unnoticed - but knowing the track record of observation by the creators of Hipstamatic, and the love of Facebook credit of Instagram, it's likely that Instagram was probably a ripped-off idea of Hipstamatic, the creators of whom are just sitting there, waiting, and waiting, and waiting - for the Facebook credit they probably won't receive - the obvious resulting lawsuit 'for the lullz' could be some time in the making...

It's fair to say that hipstermatic was so old it was probably instigated by beatniks - as they put in more effort than hipsters, and don't necessarily see profit as a dirty word.

Instagate

Last Thursday, Instagram added fully functional profiles to their site, and before anybody noticed, Instagram hoped to force people to their site by turning off integration with Twitter. This change was received with open arms by the Instagram community. Riding high on the wave of fail, they decided that it was also a dandy fine time to change their TOS to permit them to use user's images in advertisement without their knowledge or consent, for reasons unknown. This led many hipsters to leave Instagram forever. Instagram's jewry was also noticed by many NORPs, who proceeded to bitch about it on a massive scale on Facebook and Twitter. Shortly thereafter, Instagram gave up (for now). Which is rather insignificant, as the heartless back-stabbing jews in charge of Instagram will surely slip it into another TOS update without anyone noticing.

Gallery

About missing Pics

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  Instagram users are renowned for their spontaneity.
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  Your cat is not impressed with your photography skills. Not at all.
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  Instagram users sincerely believe they are photographers.
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  A negress gets it right.
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  Instagram users in action.
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  Hannibal Lecter gets in on the fun.
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Related Articles

• Internet disease
• Facebook
• Twitter

External Links

• instagram.com
• anonmgur.com
• Instagram makes everything worse.
• 26 kinds of Instagram photos the world can live without

Instagram is part of a series on Social Media Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.

Instagram is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article January 7 & 8, 2013
Preceded by Hunter Moore	Instagram	Succeeded by Grove