DeviantArtSecret

This is my work in progress. (Please steal it and finish it properly.) I'll be working on it every now and then.. Check out deviantartsecret's gallery!

DeviantArtSecret

DeviantArtSecret, or DAS, is an active deviantART profile that submits so called "secrets" to the already filled-with-crap archieves of deviantART. The group, that was founded 7 years ago, has turned into a celeberty on deviantART, where it's famous for filling the front page with "art". Over 12000 secrets have succesfully raped the already pathetic online community, and there are no signs so far that they will ever leave.

History

The group was founded during the Dark Period of deviantART. The original creator is unknown, but the speculations about a perverse furry that needed deep emotional backgrounds for some fanfic characters are accepted as the truth.

At first the profile wasn't very known and recieved a few secrets. To enhance their amount of watchers, the profile's creator himself made some secrets. These mainly contained confessions of bestiality or the longing for bestiality.

This tactic proved to be succesful: the group soon started to expand. People started to send in their own secrets, to which the creator of the site often mastrubated. Unfortunately, the original creator had to quit, because he found out that his girlfriend Fluttershy cheated on him and that left him a mental wreck.

DeviantArtSecret now is run by a terrorist organisation that has the aim to destroy art. This organisation has around 8 people that each failed at becoming an anime artist. Out of pure rage they spam the site with the most boring, uncreative and retarded "secrets".

Current Status

Almost 20,000 people are watching DeviantArtSecret, and with that it has beaten almost every manga artist. The profile is even more popular than the average camwhore's! How this is possible, you ask? DeviantART has the ability to filter the emo's, furfags and retards from sites such as Facebook, so the concentration of emo's on deviantART is at least twenty times higher as Facebook's. At least 70% of the site's members are emo, while only approximately 42% is male. Therefore anything emo will recieve way more attention than a pussy, eventually reaching the site's front page.

	“	How the fuck did this reach dA's frontpage	„
	— you while browsing deviantART

Due to deviantART's changes to the frontpage called 'fair exposure', artwork from different categories (i.e. furry drawings, pornography, cosplay) are shown. This measurements were taken to prevent that only quality artworks were shown on the frontpage. On top of that, DeviantArtSecret has it's own category within the art system: it's a "community project". The result? Every piece of shit submitted by DAS reaches the front page.

Why a "secret" is art

Most people browsing through the gallery of DAS will realize that the secrets are not artistic. They are usually made on MS paint, word or Windows notepad. There even are "secrets" that simply were a screenshot of a Google search. Really.

At least half of the secrets have a white background with black letters or vice versa. Most likely because these are the emo's favourite colours. Sometimes they have got a stolen photo on the background (usually the first result of a Google search), or a stock image that has nothing to do with the content of the secret.

The last important characteristic of the secret is the letter fond. Using 5 different types of fond on 10 different sizes is obviously the work of a true artist with great creativity.

What makes the secret a masterpiece of art is the emotion. Pure teen angst is the most commonly found emotion behind a secret.

"Secret-Tellers"

People that were lucky enough to have their secret posted by DeviantArtSecret are called Secret-Teller or ST for short. There are three different kinds of these Secret-Tellers.

The Emo

This type of ST occurs the most common. The emo feels disorientated from the world and is completely misunderstood. Of course they don't have any friends and their parents are mean, too! As soon as the emo finds out about DAS, they will feel the urge to write down their "deepest emotions" caused by one of the following things:

• My parents/friends don't understand me
• So-and-so doesn't understand me
• I might be gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight
• My bf/gf broke up with me now I'm sad
• My bf/gf wants to break up with me now I'm sad
• I am a speshul snowflaik

The Troll

In rare cases, the troll is able to submit a secret. Sometimes one of the DAS helpers fails at seeing bitter irony in a secret due to shit in the eyes and posts the secret. The most recent secret by a troll had the following message:

	“	I get discouraged when I see lower quality art getting more reactions than pieces I have slaved over and no one really cares	„
	— a troll's "secret"

So far this secret has gained over 900 favourites and is recognised as the most succesful trolling on the page.

Could-have-been-an-actual-secret-Secret-Teller

Some secrets could have been real. They mostly contain confessions about being molested, a weird fetish or something completely random. These secrets gain little attention because they are not stupid enough.

How to make a secret

Anyone is more than welcome to shit some more over deviantART through DAS. All you have to do is write down your secret. But how does one do this properly?

The main goal, of course, is for your secret to reach the '24-hour popular' frontpage or the even better all new 'what's hot' page. The 'what's hot' page indeed is filled with glamour portraits, and beating those is hard. But take a good look at the following tips and it won't be hard to reach it.

Content of the secret

It is important to get this part of the secret right. You must write something down that's so stupid, cliché and filled with teenage angst, that any emo is willing to comment with "Story of my life".

Gallery

Hall of Fame: popular shit About missing Pics

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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Tried to upload a pic: File extension does not match MIME type :(

Reactions on DeviantArtSecret

	“	"bawwwwwww im in luv wit my bff i dunno wat to du bawwwwww im cutting im a speshul snowflak"	„
	—ReevyReevy

	“	This is awful. So many people on this web site pore there heart, soul, blood, sweat, tears, and very being into there art, and while it all varies in quality, it still shows that there trying. Now this club comes along soaks up attention, and take up space on the front page, and any search that involves the word "secret", and all its doing is pushing out a series of poorly made topographies, not to dazzle the eyes, or captivate the imagination, but to tell people that "I'm an unusual person who is ashamed of my self" for the soul purpose of gathering attention. There's nothing artistic about simply complaining, and if you want to be artistic than you should start by putting some effort into your posts. I suggest a painting, or a short story, or any other artistic outlet, the only rule is that you need to work for it. It should take at least 2 hours, and you should be pleased with the result, not because of the attention it will gather, or because you cant wait to see the reactions people will have. you should feel like you produced something worth while, that represents the peak of your abilities as a creator, because that is what makes a secret art.	„
	—therandomperson111

	“	Go post this on the pictures of animal porn, ok? This is art, animal porn isn't.	„
	—TheAwesomeHetalian in reaction to therandomperson111 (previous quote)

	“	maybe im just an asshole but the majority of these just sound like emo 12 year olds experiencing hormonal changes that they believe is the sensation of being deathly depressed and uneeded. Pretty typical, and to an old person...slightly petty. Dont worry, i do care about peoples feelings... I just think theres a more mature way to go about it. So far I haven't found much about serious situations, just small things that eat up a day to day person. Most people grow out of these said sorrows, half these sorrows are self diagnosed and probably false actually. Everyone goes there, we all have that "woe is me for tiny reasons" stage at that age. Maybe Im just resentful and wished my problems were this easy :/	„
	—waikikifreaky

	“	I am one of the many, I am sure, that is sick of seeing relationship secrets, etc. on here. There are darker secrets of a more critical nature and there is no other way to say this: it just sounds like the submitter is whining to the internet. Sure, every 13-16 year old has had their relationship trouble - I did at that age too. But that is no secret, and I don't think it ever was. Bigger issues in life	„
	—Taaragh

	“	Tired of the love secrets. Spreading all their cooties on to an epic page. BAH!	„
	—[1]TamashiEvilo

	“	I think most of the secrets are from love sick teenagers who listen to too much Taylor swift	„
	—artistafrustrado

	“	really? this shit is so cliche and stupid. its hilarious.	„
	—the-noble-seven

	“	I can't believe how a concept that's basically Post Secret online actually produces LESS creative results than the Post Secret project it's based off of, let alone a concept hosted off of one of the most universally recognized art sites in history.	„
	—ZYZYXYZ

	“	It's so great that you flood DA frontpage with useless whining of various kids!	„
	—[http:lutherine.deviantart.com Lutherine]

	“	and since when exactly is this art it would be ok if it was typography but god, half of these submissions don't even reach the tom preston level and they look like they're not even trying so i guess that's not the intent this is not the right place for this go back to tumblr	„
	—SisiaVogel

	“	This page might be more interesting, if the secrets didn't sound like they were coming form a handful of 13-15 year olds..	„
	—venetation

	“	*DeviantArtSecret asked themselves "can we make this the worst page on DA?" It was a challenge, but I think the answer might very well be yes.	„
	—ATHYRION

	“	Now, almost anything can be art, but there's a difference between art and secrets. Writing someone's secret down and making it a whole public thing isn't art.	„
	—Luna-the-SnivyDragon

	“	and all the publicity this gets is shocking. it shows that a lot of people on this website approve of the non-meaningful and "oh look at me i'm such a special snowflake lolol" shit this account has multitudes of.	„
	—constell8ion

	“	Angst. Angst everywhere.	„
	—BloodyRoyalty

	“	This is deviantART not DeviantANGSTY13YEAROLDPROBLEMS.	„
	—Electr0magnet

	“	Shots of tits, Sonic recolors, and now this shit? Get the fuck off of DA! This belongs on Facebook!	„
	—FunnelFlaky

	“	This page needs to be called "INSIPID GARBAGE MADE UP BY SELF-PITYING ATTENTION-SEEKERS, WRITTEN IN UGLY FONTS"	„
	—IcarusMerman

	“	Oh my GOD, this whole account is absolute garbage. It's nothing but attention whoring and petty little "deep"-sounding phrases from some teenagers with angst that they don't know what to do with. I could go into more detail but I'd end up writing a fucking essay. ... Felt good to get that off my chest.	„
	—ERA-Eternal

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