DeviantArtSecret

This is my work in progress. (Please steal it and finish it properly.) I'll be working on it every now and then.. Check out deviantartsecret's gallery!

DeviantArtSecret

DeviantArtSecret, or DAS, is an active deviantART profile that submits so called "secrets" to the already filled-with-crap archieves of deviantART. The group, that was founded 7 years ago, has turned into a celebrity on deviantART, where it's famous for filling the front page with "art". Over 12000 secrets have succesfully raped the already pathetic online community, and there are no signs so far that they will ever leave.

History

The profile was originally created with the goal to help people, somehow. Writing down your secret and having it posted on a public site (in combination with a link to the SUICIDE PREVENTION WIKI) would fix people's life issues instantly.

However, in 7 years the group expanded to such a size the owner couldn't handle it all by himself, so he got some "helpers" (referred to as "DAS helpers"). Unfortunately these DAS helpers don't have the aim to help people: their goal is to destroy what's left of the artistic side of deviantART. Why they are doing this? They most likely failed as emographer/emo poet and out of pure rage they spam the site with the most boring, uncreative and retarded "secrets".

Current Status

Almost 20,000 people are watching DeviantArtSecret, and with that it has beaten almost every manga artist. The profile is even more popular than the average camwhore's! How this is possible, you ask? DeviantART has the ability to filter the emo's, furfags and retards from sites such as Facebook, so the concentration of emo's on deviantART is at least twenty times higher as Facebook's. At least 70% of the site's members are emo, while only approximately 32% is male. Therefore anything emo will recieve way more attention than a pussy, eventually reaching the site's front page.

Hmm, some hentai, furfaggotry, camwhoring and OH FUCK NOT AGAIN!

	“	How the fuck did this reach dA's frontpage	„
	— you while browsing deviantART

Due to deviantART's changes to the frontpage called 'fair exposure', artwork from different categories (i.e. furry drawings, pornography, cosplay) are shown. This measurements were taken to prevent that only quality artworks were shown on the frontpage. On top of that, DeviantArtSecret has it's own category within the art system: it's a "community project". The result? Every piece of shit submitted by DAS reaches the front page.

Why a "secret" is art

Almost everyone browsing through the gallery of DAS thinks the secrets are not artistic. These people are obviously stupid, because anything can be art, and on deviantART anything posted is art.

Most secrets are made on MS paint, Word or notepad. There even are "secrets" that were a screenshot of a Google search! Most TARTlets still use pencils and paper for their artwork, and envy the so called "Secret Tellers" for their intensive digital artworks and overall skill.

Even the colour palette used in secrets are gorgeous. Secrets usually consist of a black background with white text, or vice versa. There also are secrets that have colour, usually red.

There have also been secrets that used an image as background. Most images came from Google search, but there are also complete secrets that came from Tumblr. Very outrageous.

The last important characteristic of the secret is the letter font. Using 5 different types of font on 10 different sizes is obviously the work of a true artist with great creativity.

But what makes the secret a masterpiece is the emotion. It takes great skill to put the typical "speshul snowflaik"-emotion into MS paint.

"Secret-Tellers"

People that were lucky enough to have their secret posted by DeviantArtSecret are called Secret-Teller or ST for short. There are three different kinds of these Secret-Tellers.

The Emo

This type of ST occurs the most often. The emo feels disorientated from the world and is completely misunderstood. Of course they don't have any friends and their parents are mean, too! As soon as the emo finds out about DAS, they will feel the urge to write down their "deepest emotions" caused by one of the following things:

• My parents/friends don't understand me
• So-and-so doesn't understand me
• I might be gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight
• My bf/gf broke up with me, now I'm sad
• My bf/gf wants to break up with me, now I'm sad
• I am a speshul snowflaik
• I am the only 13 year old that has problems with growing up

The Troll

Another secret by a troll. This "secret"/artwork explains them. Golly, you must have a great personality!

In rare cases, the troll is able to submit a secret. Sometimes one of the DAS helpers fails at seeing bitter irony in a secret due to shit in the eyes and posts the secret. The most recent secret by a troll had the following message:

	“	I get discouraged when I see lower quality art getting more reactions than pieces I have slaved over and no one really cares	„
	—a troll's "secret"

The creation of the secret took about 45 seconds like most of the secrets. So far this secret has gained over 900 favourites and is recognised as the most succesful trolling on the page.

Could-have-been-an-actual-secret-Secret-Teller

Some secrets could have been real. They mostly contain confessions about being molested, a weird fetish or something completely random. These secrets gain little attention because they are not stupid enough.

Helping out the "Secret-Tellers"

An overall advice for all the Secret Tellers.

Usually the comments on "secrets" are disabled. In the rare case that you can advise the STs your comment has to contain one of the following messages:

• OMG!! STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!1!
• I think I know who wrote this... :(
• First!!111!
• If you think Theresa`s story is inconceivable..., 2 weaks-ago my brother also actually earnt $5924 sitting there eleven hours a week from home and the're co-worker's step-mother`s neighbour did this for 4 months and easily made more than $5924 in there spare time from a computer. apply the guide at this site, BIC5.COM
• i know hwo ur feeling....
• My life :(
• I totally get you
• BEAUTIFUL TALL GIRL ASSLY BOOBLY PUSS [link]
• Jesus Christ will cure u!

Analysis

A closer look at "secrets" in general showed the following:

Subjects

Actual rules.

• Whining about relationships/"being in love": 8.3%
• "I'm so misunderstood!"/"Growing up is hard!": 25.0%
• "I am/might be gay/bisexual": 10.4%
• "Deep inside imam monster!": 10.4%
• "I'm carrying such horrible secrets with me": 22.9%
• "I don't like my friends": 8.3%
• Troll secrets: 4.2%
• Could have been an actual secret: 10.4%

Effort

• No background, boring font: 35.4%
• No background, multiple fonts: 10.4%
• Simple background, boring font: 20.8%
• Simple background, multiple fonts: 12.5%
• Stock Image, boring font: 12.5%
• Stock Image, multiple fonts: 2.1%
• Screenshot: 4.2%
• "Artistic" details: 2.1%
• Artwork: 0.0%

Keep it up, fucktards!

Gallery

Hall of Fame: popular shit About missing Pics

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

{{{5}}}

Tried to upload a pic: File extension does not match MIME type :(

	“	There's a girl here. On deviantART. I hate her more than I've ever hated anyone. We've never talked, but by reading her journals, I can tell she's 'troubled'. She thinks no one loves her. She thinks no man would ever want her. She thinks her writings, her artwork, are terrible. (The typical teenage bull they all say at some point or another, mumble mumble) BUT SHE SAYS THAT WITH MORE THAN THREE TIMES THE NUMBER OF WATCHERS I HAVE. BUT SHE'S GETTING ONE OF HER POEMS PUBLISHED ALREADY. I don't mind sharing the same dream as people-to become a young author, but... Why does she have to so successful when it comes to what I want AND NOT APPRECIATE IT?!?!?!?!?!? I hate her. I hate her to death. I want to hurt her, strangle her, slap her and tell her to quit being such a baby.	„
	—Actual secret, thus someone's deepest thoughts

	“	Everyone thinks I'm an ASSHOLE. I frankly could care less about what everyone thinks of me. If I had to stop being an asshole, then it would stop me from being me. And guess what? I like being MYSELF. I don't have to change who I am for some stupid barnacles who didn't like the ORIGINAL me. But what worries me is... what if nobody accepts me for who I am? What if no girl will ever love me? (Oh, but changing my ways isn't the solution to that, you idiotic idiot. READ WHAT I JUST PUT. Also, fun fact: I'm a guy and 14 years old. Didn't want you to think I'm a girl.)	„
	—Secret by a speshul snowflaik

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Screenshot this and send it do deviantasssecret. jk, I'll fix this asap, really

Reactions on DeviantArtSecret

	“	"bawwwwwww im in luv wit my bff i dunno wat to du bawwwwww im cutting im a speshul snowflak"	„
	—ReevyReevy

	“	This is awful. So many people on this web site pore there heart, soul, blood, sweat, tears, and very being into there art, and while it all varies in quality, it still shows that there trying. Now this club comes along soaks up attention, and take up space on the front page, and any search that involves the word "secret", and all its doing is pushing out a series of poorly made topographies, not to dazzle the eyes, or captivate the imagination, but to tell people that "I'm an unusual person who is ashamed of my self" for the soul purpose of gathering attention. There's nothing artistic about simply complaining, and if you want to be artistic than you should start by putting some effort into your posts. I suggest a painting, or a short story, or any other artistic outlet, the only rule is that you need to work for it. It should take at least 2 hours, and you should be pleased with the result, not because of the attention it will gather, or because you cant wait to see the reactions people will have. you should feel like you produced something worth while, that represents the peak of your abilities as a creator, because that is what makes a secret art.	„
	—therandomperson111

	“	Go post this on the pictures of animal porn, ok? This is art, animal porn isn't.	„
	—TheAwesomeHetalian in reaction to therandomperson111 (previous quote)

	“	maybe im just an asshole but the majority of these just sound like emo 12 year olds experiencing hormonal changes that they believe is the sensation of being deathly depressed and uneeded. Pretty typical, and to an old person...slightly petty. Dont worry, i do care about peoples feelings... I just think theres a more mature way to go about it. So far I haven't found much about serious situations, just small things that eat up a day to day person. Most people grow out of these said sorrows, half these sorrows are self diagnosed and probably false actually. Everyone goes there, we all have that "woe is me for tiny reasons" stage at that age. Maybe Im just resentful and wished my problems were this easy :/	„
	—waikikifreaky

	“	I am one of the many, I am sure, that is sick of seeing relationship secrets, etc. on here. There are darker secrets of a more critical nature and there is no other way to say this: it just sounds like the submitter is whining to the internet. Sure, every 13-16 year old has had their relationship trouble - I did at that age too. But that is no secret, and I don't think it ever was. Bigger issues in life	„
	—Taaragh

	“	Tired of the love secrets. Spreading all their cooties on to an epic page. BAH!	„
	—[1]TamashiEvilo

	“	I think most of the secrets are from love sick teenagers who listen to too much Taylor swift	„
	—artistafrustrado

	“	really? this shit is so cliche and stupid. its hilarious.	„
	—the-noble-seven

	“	I can't believe how a concept that's basically Post Secret online actually produces LESS creative results than the Post Secret project it's based off of, let alone a concept hosted off of one of the most universally recognized art sites in history.	„
	—ZYZYXYZ

	“	It's so great that you flood DA frontpage with useless whining of various kids!	„
	—[http:lutherine.deviantart.com Lutherine]

	“	and since when exactly is this art it would be ok if it was typography but god, half of these submissions don't even reach the tom preston level and they look like they're not even trying so i guess that's not the intent this is not the right place for this go back to tumblr	„
	—SisiaVogel

	“	This page might be more interesting, if the secrets didn't sound like they were coming form a handful of 13-15 year olds..	„
	—venetation

	“	*DeviantArtSecret asked themselves "can we make this the worst page on DA?" It was a challenge, but I think the answer might very well be yes.	„
	—ATHYRION

	“	Now, almost anything can be art, but there's a difference between art and secrets. Writing someone's secret down and making it a whole public thing isn't art.	„
	—Luna-the-SnivyDragon

	“	and all the publicity this gets is shocking. it shows that a lot of people on this website approve of the non-meaningful and "oh look at me i'm such a special snowflake lolol" shit this account has multitudes of.	„
	—constell8ion

	“	Angst. Angst everywhere.	„
	—BloodyRoyalty

	“	This is deviantART not DeviantANGSTY13YEAROLDPROBLEMS.	„
	—Electr0magnet

	“	Shots of tits, Sonic recolors, and now this shit? Get the fuck off of DA! This belongs on Facebook!	„
	—FunnelFlaky

	“	This page needs to be called "INSIPID GARBAGE MADE UP BY SELF-PITYING ATTENTION-SEEKERS, WRITTEN IN UGLY FONTS"	„
	—IcarusMerman

	“	Oh my GOD, this whole account is absolute garbage. It's nothing but attention whoring and petty little "deep"-sounding phrases from some teenagers with angst that they don't know what to do with. I could go into more detail but I'd end up writing a fucking essay. ... Felt good to get that off my chest.	„
	—ERA-Eternal

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See Also

• DeviantART
• Emo
• Retarded

External Links

• The horror itself
• Send your secret! [email protected]
• Misuzu says: Don't like? DONT LOOK BITCH!