Kai the Hitchhiker

I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BECAUSE I AM JESUS

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Kai the Hitchhiker looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Introduction

Kai was straight out of Dogtown, skateboarding and surfing, when the kind fellow who was driving him around started telling him about how he raped a 14 year old girl when he was on a business trip. Then, to further entertain his jolly passenger, he states:

	“	You know what, I've come to realise that, I am Jesus, and I can do anything I fucking want to, watch this!	„
	—The driver, right before he rams into someone's car

Unfortunately for the driver, Kai doesn't find rape or assault with a vehicle very funny, and Kai proceeded to beat the living shit out of him.

Origins

Though it is unclear of his exact birth place and his age, which nobody can call, the Kai can be found in several regions of North America, with concentrated populations straight out of Dogtown. Beware when near any body of water, since the Kai likes surfin' it up in his free time. He is inhabited by a deep religious faith and belief, often referring to himself as the anti-Christ. Kai suffers from an unpredictable speech disorder caused by tourettes, sometimes making him unable to properly pronounce words starting with an s.

Trial

Posted by Kai on his Failbook timeline a day after Joseph Galfy, Jr was found dead

Even after preventing a man from snapping a woman's neck like a pencil stick and telling the guy pinned between the legs to not fucking move, otherwise you bleed out, Kai has been criminally charged with murder in another case after allegedly killing a man named "Joseph Galfy, Jr" who had allegedly raped Kai. Needless to say it's bullshit. If found guilty, he should have no problem escaping jail, due to his high lock-picking skill.

External Links

Arrested on murder charge

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