Cosplay

For every epic win...

... there's a ton of fail.

Cosplay is an abbreviated term which stands for "GAY." As a hobby it was first promulgated by the Japanese, who would dress up like certain anime, manga or video game characters. Eventually this habit crossed the Pacific to the United States, where it was adopted by fat basement-dwelling individuals, pedophiles, nerds, and sixteen year-old fangirls.

"Cosplayers," as members of the subculture call themselves, are all rabid attention whores, spending countless hours crafting their outfits for the express purpose of winning meaningless awards (read: attention) at sundry conventions. A good many cosplayers are also camwhores, posting seemingly endless photographs of themselves on LiveJournal, or else on their personal blogs or websites. Note: cosplayers (more so the girls) are HUGE drama whores.

Furries & cosplayers

Cosplayers like  Sandman420 encourage hacking and cyberbullying.

Though frequently confused with furries, cosplayers adamantly maintain that the two share nothing in common. In this opinion, they are of course, entirely wrong. The two groups are only disassociated by the fact that furries emulate animals, whereas cosplayers emulate cartoon or video game characters.

Much like furries, cosplayers suffer from identity issues, in that they seek to escape the burden of their real-world personas by becoming something much cooler....fursonas... Similarly cosplayers will in the same disgusting manner as furries, often fuck one another while wearing their absurd costumes. Members of both subcultures spend an inordinate amount of time involved in their "hobby," furthermore, including attending conventions and spending money on subculture-specific paraphernalia.

Women of Cosplay

In research proven almost 100 years ago, cosplay is done 95% of the time by the planet's palest, most mouselike, most unbangable girls you went to high school with. These girls are easily spotted by the lack of fucking color to their skin (lol albino basement dwellers), nappy unkempt hair (unless it's under a wig), and the inability to put on a decent coat of foundation or eye liner.......yet somehow sew some elaborate larping costume to parade in. Many cosplayers use these unfortunate physical traits to their advantage by playing L from Death Note in a shameless effort to get other weeaboos to hug and/or fuck them.

The reason these girls cosplay is because it's the only time of their lives that they can get their snatch off at being gawked at by men. Most weeaboo males are so full of fetish they will completely ignore the granny-panty wearing, hairy upper lip, plain jane under the sailor uniform just so long as they can rub balls up against her sweet fuku.

The minute percentage of cosplay females that are fuckable to any reasonable extent instantly become giant fucking cunts with overinflated egos since they are the only decent lay in a field of pasty legs and saggy breasts. Sadly the queen cunts tend to forget that outside the cons and DA, no decent looking normal guy wants to fuck someone who's that much of a bitch (at least not more than once).

Women of Cosplay

Women of Cosplay About missing Pics

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  Teh Rei
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  Friends don't let friends cosplay as Sakura
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  Take your pick, the correct answer is the one with lighter skin.
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  Sometimes America does it better though

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  Sometimes.
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  Some of the time.
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  Sometimes?
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  Japan is Superior!! Oh, wait....wrong subject.
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  Okay most of the time.
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  But still fails most of the time. Scratch that - America never fails: only its citizens do.
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  But the Philippines does it best...
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  ...without trying too hard.
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  Alodia-sama!
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Men of Cosplay

The men of cosplay are a little less plentiful and bitchy, but just as pathetic. Men usually cosplay to desperately get ass from girls who want to fuck the character, since like the females, these men are sex deprived and wallflowers who can only get hugs and female contact when they have on the spiky anime wig. Men also cosplay because they enjoy pretending that they are a fucking hero (always from a Final Fantasy game), and not in fact a part-time employee at the local Sam Goodie.

The alarming number of neko fags among men had risen with the current cable anime epidemic. Even weaboo males that don't cosplay will still slap on cat ears, tail and even a fucking pet collar while they munch on Pocky and scratch the acne on their ass.

The most freighting of all is the growing number of straight men that will put on sailor uniforms or cosplay as female anime characters. Understandably, fags do it because they are fags. Sickeningly, straight guys do it because they are such desperate attention whores and are so hungry for sex they don't care who or what fucks them.

Due to the rise in men who will do faggotry stuff , woman will be turned-off so bad they will start making out with the "straight" chicks that cosplay as male characters, and finally... HUMAN KIND WILL CEASE TO REPRODUCE AND DIE. FUCKING DIE OUT. THANKS MALE NEKO ANIME FAGS!!!!!!

Truth is, it doesn't matter what sub genre of cosplay one gazes upon, it all begs the question "why has god forsaken us all??"

The case of Japan vs America with males is different

Men of Cosplay About missing Pics

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  Um, WHAT.
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  Thanks to guys like him, anime girls crave snatch more than dick.
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  Daddy?!?!?!
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  a weeaboo male you typically see a cons. Most don't normally like it up the pooper oddly enough, its just a desperate cry for any kind of sexual attention.

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  Fail pushed to the limit
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  Two fags fighting over who gets to shove that Yaoi stick up their ass.
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  Very different
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  Am I kawaii yet?
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  Adf-fuensalida as Sasugay

Male Cosplay Consists Entirely Of

• Wannabe heroes (99% cosplay as Inuyasha, Naruto, Cloud, Squall, or Vash)
• Guys that are fucking ugly and do it for attention (Cloud, Sasuke, and Gaara cosplay usually)
• Fags that dress up like female characters (ones that really try tend to look better than the real girls)
• Weaboo Fags that just put on a skirt and cat ears, but don't shave or put on a wig
• Furries
• Wearing a faux Naruto headband only.

Nigras and Cosplay

Since the Japanese are profoundly racist and don't usually associate anime with niggers, very few anime characters are black. Any time one tries to cosplay as a creamy Asian character, the results are lulz worthy. In Florida there is a cosplayer known as Black Vincent known for cosplaying Vincent Valentine he get picked on all the time for being black and trying to cosplay Vincent.

Nigras of Cosplay About missing Pics

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  BLACK VINCENT!!
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  YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG
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  Did someone say fried chickens?
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  The Black Fatso of Konohagakure.

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  It took a Nigra to make Yoko cosplay a bannable offense
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  SHOW YOUR MELONS
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  This is all Will Smith's fault
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  The bulge in "her" thong is a tip-off
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  The manga with it's shitty plotline and T&A art is bearable compared to this
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  This is why you don't mix your day job with Cosplay
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  Kingdom Hearts cosplay has sunk to a new low
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  As if the Final Fantasy Fandom wasn't fucked up already with Kingdom Hearts
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  NO MORE!! NO MORE, PLEASE!!!
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  The Nigra is going to hell.
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  The triple fail of cosplay!!!
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  Way to perpetuate stereotypes there brother...
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  One tier above L cosplays.
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  The ironic thing about this is that Sharon Apple was some White computer program glitch
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  *facepalm*
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  Obama's first attempt as Cosplay before realizing he could cosplay as the President of the United States.

Galleries

Acceptable

You are still a fgt for cosplaying, but the following is acceptable and will not get rocks thrown at you:

Gallery of Win About missing Pics

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  Japan supports North Korea
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  BAMFs are always acceptable
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  Gendo cosplay is always ok
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  Katamari cosplay of any kind, it gives too many lulz to not be ok

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  Fabulous tits and anyone named Morrigan
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  Jamaica we got a bobsled team.
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  It always helps if you're hot.
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  Cosplay as Quail Man at an ANIME con is win
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  Monty Python cosplay~ always in vogue
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  KICKASS!
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  Hardgay
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  Mayor Mc Cheese?
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  Perhaps the cosplay to end all cosplay.
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  Jesus Cosplay FTW!
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  Feels like I'm wearin' nothin' at all! Nothin' at all! NOTHIN' AT ALL!
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  I guess being a beaner is better than a chink..
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  It's motherfucking Overlord Lucan D'Lere!
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  Mudkips is fine
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  Anonymous cosplay, Make sure we cant see your face... its that ugly.
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  Nazi cosplay, always a good choice
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  Power Rangers is fine too I guess, a new definition for Man vs himself.
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  Pepsiman is acceptable
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  I'm surrounded by Assholes!
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  Cosplaying as Will Smith is Win, but it doesn't give you superpowers
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  Powdered Toastman always wins
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  A really inexpensive and clever solution which even prevents us from seeing another fuckface and gives any ugly user a relatively high chance to get laid
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  You always have Zoidberg
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  YES! WIN!!!
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  Wait a minute
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  Falcon Nipples
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  THIS IS NOT HOMOSEXUAL
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  Artie is top tier
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  Antonia Bayle will serve you now.
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  I'd hit that.
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  Chicks with guns FTW!
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  An Obama is fine too.
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  The only non-fail Nigra Cosplay in existance.
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  Show us tits and we might pass it.
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  Say 'No'.
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  We do.

Never Acceptable

Gallery of Fail About missing Pics

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  God all mighty...
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  ... why have you...
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  ... forsaken ...
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  ... us all!?

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  accurate depiction of said heifer
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  GTFO!!!
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  Combining the worst qualities of Cosplayers and Furries, Sesshomaru cosplayers are almost as repugnant as Otherkin. Their diet primarily consists of Ramen and babies.
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  2nd row from the bottom, 5th from left....
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  Your average Narutards congregating for a circlejerk.
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  all of them are questionable in gender.
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  Hot indian cosplayers get raped.
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  Weeaboo.
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  I'd be pissed if I had to save that fat bitch too.
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  A typical fan of cosplay.
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  Image macro
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  Gambit uses cards to defeat evil.
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  Lens flare makes everything better!
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  What is it? WHAT IS IT?
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  Proof of a caring God.
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  Cosplay conventions often attract celebrities.
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  Fatass no jutsu!
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  It's retard time, kids!
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  The infamous Man Faye
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  Gay
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  Yugimanz!
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  IT'S OVER 9,000 POUNDS!
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  100% Perfect cosplay
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  Sexy, curvy, caveman-like facial features
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  Dats sum sexy cosplay T&A!
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  OMG RIKU ATE SORA!
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  Just...no.
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  I cant tell if Kikyou is a dude or not...
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  Furry cosplay prostitutes.
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  Less pie, moar sun plz
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  thanks for crushing my childhood with your giant fat ass
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  Chobits...more like choCHUNKS
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  Not Gay.
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  I wish I were them
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  Gundam cosplayers think people will run around in armor... in the futureEdit: It's Code Geass you dumb fuck. Edit2: You're a faggot weeaboo for knowing
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  Upon closer examination, I learned Robin is really a weaboo fag!
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  When we said "you guys need a hobby," we didn't mean this.
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  Faye family.
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  Good God...
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  Ironically, she is dressed as Lust...
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  A typical fangirl of Naruto.
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  A typical fanboy of Naruto.
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  Azn cosplay of a sexy ninja.
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  Cosplaying with my girlfriend is awesome!
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  Same couple as before.
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  Full of fail and dying alone.
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  He's got "The Touch"
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  Rei got fat after the last episode I guess.
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  Get a 5 dollar digicam , a chi wig and you are cosplaying. Fail.
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  Furry + Cosplay = FAIL.
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  Naruto cosplay is sexy.
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  Being bad kitty/tranny AND still wear your glasses- Priceless
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  Joel "Inciter" Ivory is obviously cooler than you
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  If there ever was only one way to instantly show you're a fag to the world, this is it
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  One of the few non-furry Digimon cosplays
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  The most accurate L cosplay in the world.
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  Non Weeaboo cosplay can happen, but you'd still look fucking stupid.
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  The Tampon Ninja
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  Fatass-no-jitsu
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  Fail Snake is gonna pwn choo.
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  Orange-ya glad to see me? Oran....nevermind.
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  It's a trap?
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  Aspie furfags cannot cosplay due to massive failures in the logic department.
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  Is it just me or did she eat the loli she's cosplaying?
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  BATGIRRRRLL! Na na nana nana.... FATGIRRRLLLL!
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  Thunder Thighs. Literally.
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  The Women's Heavyweight Champ, now with dildomicropohone!

Cosplay skits

When walking around in costume does not get the cosplay weaboos rocks or taco off enough, they give a go at performing on stage for the whole con to see. Since anime fans lack any real skill in anything (dancing, singing, acting, choreography), it becomes a massive fail that the whole room is subject to watch for normally 2-7 painful minutes. 99% of these skits are bad, they they are not even funny to laugh at. Notice the cold silence after every "joke." If you are unfortunate enough to have to sit through a particularly fail performance, make sure you yell "tits or GTFO" and other choice quotes at them, the audience will appreciate it.

Some examples of cosplay skits include...

Previous Video | Next Video

The Next Level

Child abuse.

Some cosplayers get so advanced in their craft that they graduate from merely appearing in cosplay skits up to actually running the cosplays themselves. This is largely an unnecessary task, seeing as every cosplayer has a finely tuned homing device that directs them to the nearest stage at all times, but someone has to write down the names of the people that stumbled across the stage and did the Caramelldansen for the 28th time that night.

Being a cosplay coordinator is a thankless and (thankfully) invisible job. Sure, take credit for herding the cats, but get the fuck off the stage and DO your job. Nobody wants to see a short, balding, gollum looking guy screaming "Jambo!" every 20 seconds when there's a 14 year-old girl waiting to come on and re-enact the first 3 episodes of Bible Black.

Ban List

That's some creepy fucking shit!

Cosplaying as L was so 2007.

This is what it would look like if anime characters walked around earth like you and me

These cosplays have been done to fucking death, and done so poorly SO OFTEN that is is illegal in 49 states (save for Kentucky) to cosplay as the following characters. If you cannot come up with a better idea than any of these, you may as well just collect shit from a port-o-potty for an Uncle Tom black-face.

• Sakura ANYONE from "Naruto"* Except Rock Lee and Gai sensai

If you cosplay as sakura you have done it wrong, are fat, and had a shitty costume. Nobody likes you, just like nobody likes her

Naruto is fail. You are fail. Keep your fail in the privacy of your own home. No one wants to see it, And there's a great chance you'll end up getting you ass beat anyways.

On that note: Go ahead. Cosplay it. You deserve it. However Rock Lee and Gai Sensai with their green spandex suit, bushy eyebrows and hilarious look overall can be used for priceless humor as long as you got the look right. ONLY if you are in close proximity to Hardgay and are willing to hug him.

• Anyone from "FFVII"

Cloud is a fag, you are a fag. And 99 cent wigs smothered in mousse and a bigass sword cut out of foam board in five minutes are just lazy.

• ANYONE from "Kingdom Hearts"

Every goddamn con you can't 10 feet without seeing some weeaboo dressed as some keyblade wielding faggot, or a black coated Organization 13 retard. Fuck your star-shaped fruit, fuck your keyblades, and FUCK YOU! We're sick of it!

• Rikku, Yuna Or Paine From "FFX-2"

Look, Unless your body AND face are at least an 8 out 10 and a girl, pulling this off well is impossible, and you'll look like a fool.

• Rei or Asuka from "Evangelion"

If you do not have the skills or body to pull off a plug suit, DONT DO IT. Fucking spandex Eva cameltoe at every con

• L from "Death Note"

If you are lazy enough to cosplay L, you should not cosplay at all.

• Anyone from "Inuyasha"

Anyone who watches that show past the first fifty episodes needs to be shot. You're ugly, And your cosplay is ugly. Inuyasha is overdone, and overrated. Don't do this.

• Yoko from "Gurren Lagann"

See "Nigra and cosplay".

• Aerith/Aeris Gainsborough from Final Fantasy VII

Overdone and overrated. There is a good reason she got killed off - she is lame as hell, just as you are lame as hell if you cosplay her.

• The Joker from "The Dark Knight"

Okay we know you like the movie, thats no excuse to put on Joker makeup with crap from Walgreens, put on a green vest, and take myspace angle pictures

• Anyone from "Sailor Moon"

Too Many fat guys have been caught cosplaying the Sailors, its in the fucking hole no matter how hot you are, if your skin looks like plastic and you nailed the cosplay. You wont get any credit from it at all.

• Anonymous

We get it. You like 4chan. But nothing screams 'newfag' like a Guy Fawkes mask or an afro and a 'Pool's Closed' sign.

• Any character not related in some way to the Con you are attending

If you are at an Anime Convention, don't cosplay a Stormtrooper. Unless you are employed at the mall, don't cosplay Santa Claus. And if you are at an Anthro Con, fucking kill yourself.

Some cosplayers have their own websites

These are some classic examples of their sites. Troll the Guestbooks for great justice.

• Otaking
• Lilly Cosplay
• Kayoshin
• Makkuro
• Fat Kasumi
• ViGo
• KittyCupCake
• Silveritis

See also

How you look like when cosplaying.

• Allison Daniels
• Animegao
• Basement dweller
• Bunnydragoon
• Comic book fans
• Cosplayfucks
• DO NOT WANT
• Hellsingripvanwinkle
• Krisez
• Maryjane
• Meele
• Saeto
• Scum
• Silveritis
• ugly
• Weeaboo
• Yuffie bunny

External links

• Two English geeks attend a Tokyo Cosplay Convention (YouTube)
• At an Anime Convention
• Note the woman winner did nothing but glue some horns on. People in the honorable mention section wasted hours.
• Characterhate, for anonymous roleplaying bullshit.
• Fat Yuna cosplays. DO NOT WANT!
• For rampant, mind-blowing what-the-fuckery, 24-7
• LiveJournal: Cosplay Diets...LAWLz.

Cosplay is part of a series on Anime Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article June 20 & June 21, 2011
Preceded by Plushie	Cosplay	Succeeded by Juggalo