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America's Third Party
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Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more... |
America's Third Party is the manifestation of the midlife crisis of the racist, closeted homosexual, chronically unemployed, narcissist David Jon Sponheim. After David realized what a pointless life of failure he's lived he now desires to redeem all those years of living out of his parent's van and eating out of the trash by running for the office of president of the United States with his unshaven lesbian lover, Sarah L. Hart as his vice-presidential candidate. After 100 years of running a presidential campaign on internet camsites, their party still consists of only these two members and the occasional moral support of a few literal retards.
Origins
During a certain period in America parents were encouraged to tell their worthless children that they could grow up to be whatever they wanted, regardless of actual skill and aptitude. Children during this time were raised as though they were a special snowflake, and carried that mentality into adulthood, and whether win or lose they'd still be someone important. What could possibly go wrong?