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Jonathan King

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Look at him, he's a vile pervert.
Jonathan King doing a reasonable impersonation of a mongoloid.
Jonathan King showing off his patented "child slappin' technique"

Jonathan King is an infamous composer/producer from the '70s with a lop-sided mouth who had hits in the UK with the songs "Una Paloma Blanca," "Everyone's Gone To The Moon," (an incomprehensible song which he later claimed was deliberately a parody of other incomprehensible songs) and "Hooked On A Feeling/I Don't Want To Be Gay." He was the first person to discover the hamburger and gave it its name.

King is probably more famous for his three child sex abuse charges and subsequent incarceration in 2001. Although he adamantly proclaims his innocence, he still creates controversy with statements like the "dead man's clause," in which he blamed long dead pop star John Lennon for his addiction to young boys' smooth arses.

Online

During his time in chokey King kept an online journal which generated drama in the form of comments like "Paedophile!", 'burn paedophile!", and "'Everyone's Gone To The Moon' is really really shit!" aimed at the fallen record producer. His hardcore fans defended him with comments such as "yes, he may take his love of the kiddies a little too far, but 'Everyone's Gone To The Moon' is a musical masterpiece!"

Recent Developments

Jonathan used his website to lay blame on society and the fact that if he wanted to go out on the streets and pick up young tail, then he should be allowed to do so without being persecuted. The victims of his crimes set the Slander, Slander Salamander on to Jonathan after he made statements mocking them, and Bill Gates immediately shut down his website.

Trolling of b3ta.com

Jonathan recently posted a video on the message board at B3ta causing much butthurt [1]. He also promoted his new film [2] as being of deep intellectual value and social significance.

On Livevideo

He recently opened up a Livevideo account in order to expand his blogging portfolio,show off his acting ability and to troll fucking everything. The community's reaction was tell him to GTFO; However, Jonathan found an unlikely ally in the form of Argent009[3].

See Also

  • Jimmy Savile - The far more successful, heterosexual version of Jonathan King.

Links

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