Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Colton Harris Moore

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is the current revision of this page, as edited by imported>Organ Freeman at 03:18, 12 November 2014. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this version.
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

File:ColtonHarrisMoore.jpg

Colton Harris Moore (also known as Colt and The Barefoot Bandit) is a IRL troll and tough guy. Perpetrator of countless crimes and thefts he has even stolen half a dozen plus aeroplanes and crashed each one for his own amusement. He even managed to steal a $450,000 yacht. He also managed to rob over 100 private residences all over the country before the FBI got involved.

Arrested

Last Thursday Colton's two year crime spree finally ended after he was caught robbing a bunch of niggers cars and boats in the Bahamas.

Accomplishments

Since the age of 12 Colton has performed over 200 burglaries in Washington, Canada and Idaho, causing large amounts of butthurt in the rich communities he's robbed. Some people have compared him to Frank Abagnale (remember that shit movie "Catch me if you can", that guy), but the feds barely seem annoyed only adding to the butthurt felt by the rich faggots, so it's not like its exceptionally hard for him to elude some local cops with the physique and mental capacity of Homer Simpson.

Excuse to turn life into a video game

The bald guys love him.

Before Colt turned 18, everytime he stole his neighbors bike or Mercedes, he received no more than a month in Juvie. But when he turned 18, shit done changed for young Colt. After getting handed a 4 year bitch slap from a judge for most likely stealing a nigger's bike, Colt "escaped" from the halfway house where he was being held prisoner... by NAMBLA. He knew that because he was really a fucking pussy faggot bitch, he couldn't do real time and decided to instead go Grand Theft Auto on the world IRL. Colt was in God-mode for most of his run until he crashed a $150,000 plane he flew from Indiana into the ocean near the Bahamas. From there he was spotted in several areas which reported shit was stolen. Finally multiple reports of "a tall white teenager" spotted bathing in a lake sealed his fate. The cops proceeded to catch his ass throw him in a real jail for once. Now the Man is going to be sticking it to him very hard and very deep for acting out in such epic fashion. As of right now, some crazy Nazi cop is beating this kid into shape.

Nickname

The nickname "Barefoot Bandit" was given to him because he left a chalk footprint at the scene of one of his robberies.

Fan support

This story has made Colten somewhat of a celebrity to the rebellious youth of America. The fact is that most losers think that video games are life, but Colten thinks that life is "GTA: Vice City" and his eyes are virtual reality goggles. Since no basement dweller evar has/had the balls to steal anything in their pathetic lives, they made Harris-Moore their new idol. Everyone is hoping he now either gets released, or breaks out jail and starts a new "journey" this time playing the game the way it was meant to be played; with automatic weapons.

Book and Movie

Since Colt has "stuck it to the man" over 9 million times, and several thousand people loved it for the two years it lasted, some Jew decided to cash in on the story by writing a book. Bob Friel, one of the first Colten fanboys on scene in the Bahamas when he was caught, has sold the movie rights to 20th Century Fox. The plot will follow Colt from his childhood bank heists, to the 2 years on the run, and ending with Colt being the leader of a doomsday cult in 2012. He will steal a space shuttle from NASA and, without any training, fly it to the moon and watch as Earth is completely wiped out by 300 crazy Spartans.


External Links