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Nu metal

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Nu metal gig
The drummer for shitcock i mean slipknot
Nu metal fan at the age of 9

Nu metal (or known as mallcore) is a form of grungy wigger metal shit. It mixes grunge, rap and metal together with down tuned guitars. You can identify nu metal bands with these wiggers or hip hop fags trying to play metal or grunge, or metal faggots trying to play rap.

Fashion

Nu metal band characteristics

Max sold out

  • Vocalist- Some guy who just raps, ragequits, growls or sings. Sometimes he growls and tosses a fuckin bitch fit and does growls, may or may not try hard to act angry. Usually he has either long hair or spiky hair cut short. He also wears adidas pants and uses lyrics either full of swearing to show how rebellious and badass he is or writes lyrics about how he had mean people in his childhood.
  • Guitarist- (one or two) just does bouncy hip hop rhythmed riffs and down tunes so low on his guitar with 3289427498237637564384563478564358734563487563487563454656583658346583468 strings on it. He has usually long hair often in dreads and just plays weird ass riffs full of tri-tones and sounds like he's hitting random notes while grinding on the strings.
  • Bassist - Some guy who plays hip hop wigger bass lines or weird shit and usually he has a goatee beard and a baseball cap, otherwise he'll be some guy in spiky hair or cornrows
  • Drummer- some guy usually with spiky hair and a sleeveless shirt and tattoos or a crew cut. Sometimes plays shirtless to attract homosexuals.
  • DJ(optional) - some wigger who does scratches to attract black people and hip hop fans.

Bands typically take pictures in weird rooms usually dark like they're in some prison at night otherwise they are just some light room in somebody's house. They just stand their and just act like they couldn't see the fucking camera is there like blind cripples, otherwise they have a picture of themselves acting happy and like wiggers or hip-hop gangstaz with KoRnrows or beards.

Typical nu metal song

Jonathan Davis comes out of the klozet

How to Troll Nu Metal Fans

  • Deny their bands as heavy metal
  • Call them a wigger
  • Say that you hate Otep Shamaya because she's a dyke
  • Say that Otep deserved to get raped by her dad
  • Say that it was funny when Jonathan Davis got molested when he was 7
  • Talk shit about KoRn
  • Say that System of a Down are terrorists
  • Say that Wayne Static's hair makes him look like a complete retard
  • Call their music "hip hop"
  • Call their music "wigger shit"
  • Say that Jonathan Davis is in the closet
  • Call their bands hip-hop
  • Compare their bands to Lil' Wayne
  • Say that Motograter look like a bunch of juggalos
  • Say that Slipknot is gay
  • Say that KoRn's Path of Totality was their masterpiece
  • Say that Linkin Park improved in 2007
  • Ask them why their bands all have evil or angry/violent lyrics
  • Get the Westboro Baptist Church to protest their favorite bands
  • Protest against nu metal bands and call them satanic
  • Refer to Jonathan Davis as "HIV"
  • Go to a Sevendust concert and yell "nigger" at the singer Lajon
  • Ask them why Korn and Limp Bizkit can't spell

Bands tagged as nu metal

  • Korn - The pioneers of this shitty genre. All members like to put corn up their asses
  • Emmure - They are BR00T4L DEATHCORE with mallcore influences
  • Sevendust - A black vocalist? Extra nu metal points for extra rap culture!
  • Evanescence - Oops, sorry, they ain't nu metal, just a bunch of mallgoth freaks with some cunt who can't sing and has butthurtness fans.
  • Slaves on Dope - The shittier and more wigger/TUFF GUY version of Korn
  • Slipknot - The band with 9 members and masks
  • OTEP - Some 4 piece band with a Nazi bonehead in the band for bass, a dyke vocalist named Otep Shamaya and they think they're hardcore and we all know what they sound like.
  • Linkin Park - Some sextet with a singer who just sings about how he's now able to control himself, eventually tries to write lyrics about loving the world, but initially writes lyrics to help teens who have certain issues in life or need to know how to deal with their teachers. Their singer also was a nerd in school. The lyrics and vocals and shit change once they sold out into some shitty pop rock band. Their fans consist of wiggers, jocks, preppies who like them cuz they're mainstream and also emo kids might like them.
  • Limp Bizkit - A guitarist with weird masks and eyes with ridiculously huge ass pupils, a wigger vocalist with a baseball cap, and more wigger than Linkin Park
  • Crazy Town - One-hit wonder who band who eventually started playing much more shittier music.
  • Mudvayne - Band who made a really shitty song called "Dig". Their vocalist thinks he's Maynard James Keenan.
  • Snot - Shitty wannabe punk band that nobody gave a shit about until the singer died.
  • Deftones - The ones with a beaner vocalist, they eventually sold out to hipsters. They apparently got extremely butthurt over the nu-metal label that they sold out when they released their album "White Pony" dedicated to the members' pride of being bronies. All the fans can't accept they were nu metal in the 1990s.
  • Alien Ant Farm - Some alt fags with a fugly singer who inexplicably got popular by making a nu metal Michael Jackson cover in 2001, before becoming washed up nobodies a few years later. You might wanna help their singer cross the border.
  • Mushroomhead - They got butthurt when Slipknot would look like them.
  • (Hed) PE - Some lame ass wiggers/beaners who think they're nu metal but are just a rapcore clone of Rage Against the Machine.
  • Spineshank
  • System of a Down - A group of 4 Armenian-Americans notable for having the Billboard #1 album on September 11, 2001 with an album full of supposedly terrorist lyrics. Wait? THESE GUYS AREN'T NU METAL!!! ...or are they?
  • Kittie - Speaking of Kittens...
  • Coal Chamber - Just some nu metal band with 3 goth guys and a goth whore and their singer is some guy with long dreadlocks and shitloads of piercings and looks like a pedo-clown. One of the members looks like a monkey and has big ass ears. Their video for Loco is just them playing in some mansion at night with some pedophile driving an ice cream truck there and going in to molest random people.
  • Motograter - A bunch of retarded juggalos/Mushroomhead wannabes who thankfully faded into obscurity. Their singer is an internet tough guy and they all try to look like monsters.
  • Lostprophets - Weeaboo britfags with a vocalist who sold out and suddenly became from wiggers to an emo band releasing the 2nd album.
  • 40 Below Summer - Dude, what the fuck are ya saying??? THEH NAH NAH NAHSKA BRR RAKA MANA MANA!
  • Soulfly - Max Cavalera goes nu metal and sells out.
  • Vanilla Ice - Limp Bizkit Cloney
  • Machine Head - a groove metal band who sold out and played nu metal then went back to groove metal at the end of the mainstream popularity time period of nu metal.
  • Disturbed - the band with a Jewish vocalist who has mother issues
  • Drowning Pool - LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!!!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRR!!!!!!
  • Papa Roach - Cut my cunt into pieces! THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!
  • Dope - DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!!!!!1111 That's all people like by these guys. They also think they're explicit.
  • Endo - Worst band. Ever
  • Shuvel - They has a shuvel.
  • 36 Crazyfists - They mix nu metal with metalcore. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds.
  • Demon Hunter - Christfags who are the same as 36 Crazyfists until they change into some Pantera wannabe band.
  • Staind - Some band who jack off to alternative rock all day and Nirvana. Then they sold out into the Nickelback of nu metal.
  • Orgy - Their name is Orgy since that's what the members do to each other on a weekly basis. Also one of the members has no eyebrows.
  • Sevendust - Fronted by a nigger whose name you can't pronounce. Offer him some fried chicken and watermelon.
  • Taproot - What the fuck?
  • Glassjaw - Deftones clone
  • Incubus - Sold out into an alternative rock band. Also has a black in the band and some retard with shaggy long hair.

History

Nu metal was said to be invented by some alternative wankers called Faith No More and their wigger singer Mike Patton, but actually was made by Korn. Then it went popular faster than a fag on redbull getting sodomized by a monkey in Alasska naked. Then more bands came. Now it isn't popular and everyone forgot about it. To revive nu metal, form your band and bring back the late 90s and early 2000s. Also fuck this metal genre.

See Also

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