Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner, not feeling very pretty yet.

Bruce Jenner is a washed up sports celebrity and murderer of old ladies who became famous for being white but running faster than niggers. After realizing the large amount of cosmetic surgeries he had fucked his face for good and gave him a gay fairy look-alike, he decided that while being at it, he should go all in and become a woman. Everybody was taken by surprise but not us here at ED, because Jenner's massive faggotry has always been obvious all along.

After becoming old and pudgy and irrelevant, many late night comedians made jokes about Bruce looking more and more like an old lesbian. The Kardashians, seizing on a wave of faggotry sweeping America and a wave of AIDS sweeping Indiana, capitalized on this (just like Lady Gaga capitalized on jokes that she had a penis and "came out" as bi but married a dude anyway). The Klan persuaded Bruce, who nobody gave a fuck about since all his fans died of AIDS in the 80s, into cutting his dick off in order to revive his "career" like John Wayne Bobbitt. Some argue it was Bruce's own idea to mutilate his body to get all the Kardashians off his back and gain any respect. In any case, Kim Kardashian is no longer a talentless vapid whore, she's a socially conscious trans-darling, like Jeffrey Tambor or Felicity Huffman or Jared Leto (all actors).

Since future-penile-amputee Bruce killed an old lady with his car in February 2014, the kike lawyers of the Kardashians could smell a lawsuit coming, meaning a prime-time special was imperative because LGBT people can never be criticized thanks to gay bullies and useful idiots online. Bruce claiming to be a woman made him a hero, a greater more inspiring achievement and bigger feat of strength than winning a gold medal in the Summer Olympics. It takes a lot of courage to say something that wins you a new TV show and millions of new fans who will attack anyone who says anything bad about you. Bruce had transitioned to immunity from mockery from everyone as a new member of the Personal Pronouns cult.

Jenner will accomplish two goals with this move: let loose his faggot nature that has been urging to get out of the closet for so long and match his family fellows in attention whoring. Being 65, Jenner doesn't have much longer to live and was waiting to die alone, but a sex change is always a good way to exist again for the liberal media and the SJW crowd.

He is now on a journey to become the prettiest, pretty princess in the whole wide world. And Bruce is going to tell his story, his way, now that he's ready to, and now that it's going to be filmed for TV.

Some people think his daughters are prettier, but they are tremendously wrong. Actually, we could safely assert that while Jenner is truly hideous, his daughters are even uglier than him. The only thing they are better at is the ability to maintain a high fat percentage and the tendency to use their celebrity in the worst way possible.

So, after having all the benefits of a man for his entire life, and fathering multiple children with his Y chromosomes present in every cell in his body, and since his life is a joke on a reality show anyway, he decided to surprise everyone at the end of his life by growing his hair longer and declaring that he has been a woman all along, even though he hadn't even cut his dick off yet (Kris Jenner cut off his balls long ago). This claim was verified by the scientific community who could spot his faggotry from space, debunking skeptics who thought women didn't compete in the decathlon in the 20th century.

Bruce's announcement robbed him of his 1976 gold medal carried no consequences whatsoever except having to commit to his publicity stunt and protection of Xir's Wikipedo article and endless cocksucking by the media and Internet and he gets to keep the gold medal which he'll use as a delightful brooch. His relationship with women over the years can be explained by the fact that he is a female lesbian soul in a male body. This was explained by Bruce himself to Diane Sawyer, in a story where God made Bruce the most famous spearchucker in history (until Kanye West came along), but God decided to fuck with him like He fucks with cleft palate babies.

People of bad faith are saying that Jenner just did it for the lulz in order to troll his son-in-law, making sure he embarasses him as much as it is humanly possible in retaliation of West being a world-class cocksucker, drama whore and shitty musician.

See also

• Faggot Bruce, not related to Bruce Jenner at all
• Kim Kardashian, a stupid whore who is not as pretty as Bruce!
• Khloe Kardashian, a stupid whore who is not as pretty as anyone!
• Kanye West, his step son-in-law

Bruce Jenner is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

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