New Media Rockstars

Seriously - NMR can't even afford Justine...

NMR (Pronounced: 'New Media Upstarts') is pretty much a PR company for boring, irritating e-celebrities - aka prostatots and basement dwellers nobody would have ever noticed on youtube, had they not been fapped to by NMR's paedos, who then over-plugged them with two or three tweets on twitter. NMR staff spend their days lurking the butt-end of the internet looking for the next Justin Baby and Miley Slut. Of course, not even Justine will give them the time of day - probably because they lack money to suck on a Bieber. PewDiePie also likely gave them the same response - hence why most of their articles don't include an interview.

To NMR, finding snarky comments on the internet is journalistic integrity!

If NMR was actually popular and not trying too hard to look more popular than they actually are - they could end up becoming the cancer that kills the world through projecting the likes of Jessi Slaughter - however we at ED are here as always to raise awareness of NMR's AIDS infection - so that you too can help save the world - and prevent pointless and annoying gobshites from getting famous!

NMR can't seem to differentiate between women and underage girls...

	“	NMR is an online magazine dedicated to cutting edge coverage and analyses of new media content, culture and news.	„
	—Translation: NMR is written by fat basement dwellers, dedicated to getting coverage for attention whores who haven't actually done anything important, ever.

NMR's webshite

Browsing this fickle MTV knock-off is like the reverse of what you'll really ever want to see during your day - it's pretty much like a news feed if it listed things in reverse priority.

A show watched only by Peggy Bundy on a TV show which hasn't been on TV since 1998 - but you have to remember that NMR's demographic is pretty much estranged pedophiles anyway.

Lawl - they can't say 'Porn' because then the NMR servers would attract the attention of the Feds, and a lot of arrests would be made...

For you NMR paedos out there - you can find this app under 'fappables' in the iStore!

Welp this isn't racist "You must like Aussie bands because you liked bands from other countries" Tut Tut! Hasn't NMR ever heard that to assume is to make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'?

Staff

NMR has exactly one member of staff - Alan Van. He and his ego interviewed Xiao Rishu - not sure why as Xiao is a boring as fuck YouTube ranter who wears onesies and never leaves her bedroom....oh wait - PEDO ALERT!

Either Alan got v& or he doesn't want any pesky trolls on his twitter asking about those fapping sounds they can hear...

Links

• The NMR website
•  NewMediaRockstars
•  newrockstars
•  AlanMichaelVan

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