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Poop.mov
Poop.mov is a great example of what happens when you mix angsty teenage lust with naivety of the opposite gender and coloring utensils. This tragic tale of would-be love stems from the Burrito filled pits of North Mexico. Last Thursday, a lonely, horny boy by the name of UAanon(aka Shinobi) was lusting after some tits. Not just any set of tits mind you, but a certain rack belonging to a particular cumdumpster named Tensil. Being that his need for said tits was equal to that of a junkie looking for that last fix, he did what any right-minded, logical individual would do; he struck a deal. If he videoed himself shoving a marker up his ass, she would send him a video of her tits; the most glorious tits that have exer existed.
The Plot
Our tale of broken dreams and shattered sphincters begins on a quiet Tucson evening like any other. Being unable to leave the house after dark due to the 200F+ temperatures and hordes of angry Mexicans raging through the streets, one particularly lonely attention whore would make cinematic history. UAanon, tired of fapping to all his University of Arizona memorabilia, decided to pop into his shit irc room, #tucson. He began the festivities that evening the same way he always did: Asking his fellow basement dwellers what manner of anal play would be most likely to win the affections of his long time crush: Pabo. But fate, being the cruel mistress she is, had different plans for our young hero; for online this fateful night was the unyielding, excruciating, never ending psychosis that is Tensil. Most likely a hairy trap, Tensil is the closest thing to a woman that Tuscon anons have ever IRC'd with. As a result she was traditionally the target of full force ass/mouth raep. In a peculiar twist, no one has yet been able to verify if she did indeed posses real tits and/or pussy. Tensil, wanting to quash the rumors of penor once and for all challenged UAanon to be her vindicator!
So after much persuasion, the deal was struck. In exchange for verifiable video of an object shoved 3 inches into UAanon's ass, Tensil would bare her bosom and provide not just pics, but vids of the two small moons orbiting her torso. UAanon, driven by the promise of tits, and the exhibitionist allure of being assfucked in his parent's bathroom by his own stupidity, got to work...
15[23:55] <&Anonytensil> well UA 15[23:55] <&Anonytensil> how about this 15[23:55] <&Anonytensil> If you upload pics AND video of you shoving shit in your anus, I'll uplaod tits 15[23:55] <&Anonytensil> but we have to see that it's 3 inches in your ass, and it is indeed your ass [23:55] <~UAanon> Hmmmmmmm [23:55] <~UAanon> fuck [23:56] <~UAanon> tits, how? 15[23:56] <&Anonytensil> so I would recommend video, so we can see it going in, and you can put your voice in there for verfication and write on your ass 15[23:56] <&Anonytensil> I have a camera right here UA 15[23:56] <&Anonytensil> i proly already have tit pics on here 15[23:56] <&Anonytensil> lemee see [23:57] <~UAanon> like bare tit? [23:57] <@DeadBabies> this does not sound like a fair trade [23:57] <~UAanon> Hmmm [23:57] <@DeadBabies> you're gonna take an item in the pooper, and she's gonna give a titty pic? 15[23:57] <&Anonytensil> yeah, actual bare tit 15[23:57] <&Anonytensil> oh snap 15[23:58] <&Anonytensil> hahaha 15[23:58] <&Anonytensil> newt got a pic of me undressing on cam
The Climax
This breathtaking documentary opens with our timid, bald hero presenting his victim to the camera: A long, fat permanent marker upon which he carved the name of his unrequited love: Pabo, along with a timestamp. Detailed footage of his pockmarked ass compliments his undulating cheeks as the viewer watches Pabo-the-Sharpie make his journey deep into UA's puckering anus. The suspense builds as he struggles and grunts audibly to Jam It In. Finally, the climax bursts onto the screen with the earth-shattering screams of pain as UAanon wrenches the Sharpie out of his ass. What follows is several minutes of hysterical sobbing and profound regret. In the final shot his cat can be seen in the corner becoming an hero after witnessing such a heinous arousing event.
The Epic Conclusion
After successfully uploading his cinematic masterpiece to the Internets, he began to question the wisdom of his actions. Perhaps it was his decimated integrity clawing at his soul, or maybe it was all the blood hemorrhaging from his wrecked sphincter that caused him to cry out "My God, what have I done?!?!?!/1!" His unending tit lust had proved to be his undoing. With his ass-virginity thoroughly ruinated, his only solace was the fact that he would be rewarded with Tensil Tits for all his suffering. Then he would have not only have fresh fapping fodder, but juicy blackmail material as well. This plan was not yet an epic failure, he assured himself.
After being thoroughly satisfied that UAanon's ass had been ruined, Tensil proceeded to upload the video of her undressing. After much whining and hesitation, she finally posted the link to her Jewtube. With baited breath and cock in hand, UAanon opened the video. To his utter dismay it was not the gentle bounce of bare breasts that graced his screen, but rather the ravishing, chiseled features of Rick Astley serenading his eternal devotion. UAanon proceeded to shit bricks. He burst into irc screeching about betrayal, only to be met with the cold, maniacal laugh of the triumphant troll.
Well played Anon, well played.
[00:40] <~UAanon> SHUT UP CLOWN. [00:40] <~UAanon> fork it over. [00:40] <DeadBabies> tensil, time to pay up 15[00:41] <&Anonytensil> okay 15[00:41] <&Anonytensil> gawd i cant believe im doing this 15[00:41] <&Anonytensil> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9387zmssuE 06[00:42] * &Anonytensil hides in the corner, cant watch [00:42] <DeadBabies> oh shit, suck it up UA just shoved a marker in his anus 15[00:42] <&Anonytensil> heehee [00:42] <~UAanon> FUCK YOU [00:42] <~UAanon> FUCK YOU IN YORUS ASSS [00:42] <~UAanon> FUCK CUNT FUCKER 15[00:42] <&Anonytensil> FWAHAHAHAHAHAH 15[00:42] <&Anonytensil> HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [00:42] <DeadBabies> quit fucking around bitch 15[00:42] <&Anonytensil> look that vid I was tlakin about 15[00:42] <&Anonytensil> never existed 15[00:43] <&Anonytensil> im not gonna lie 15[00:43] <&Anonytensil> I had no intention of showing tits :D [00:43] <DeadBabies> you better get to making one 15[00:43] <&Anonytensil> maybe later [00:43] <~UAanon> ...what?
The Video
Note the continuous shot, the lovely lighting of the bathroom in his parents house, and especially the lack of lube. Written on the marker is the name Pabo, who UAanon desperately wishes to have a well meaning and long lasting relationship with. The marker, however, IS NOT Pabo but is merely a warm up device. The rest of the video speaks for itself, really.
—UAanon on sharpies in the ass. |
The Word
—A Fenixfag on poop.mov. |
—The Troll herself |
—Another faggot on sharpies, and, well, life in general. |
—Anonymous. |
—Anal Whore UAanon |
The Lesson Learned
And so it was that UAanon forwarded the above video to Tensil. In return? Somehow, while still managing her duties, Tensil proceeded to rickroll UAanon. The moral of the story? Never make an agreement with a woman for tits.
[00:36] <DeadBabies> i hope that crying bit was fake [00:36] <@Muffin> hahah [00:37] <~UAanon> ...kinda [00:37] <~UAanon> that shit hurt [00:37] <~UAanon> sharp edges
15[00:54] <&Anonytensil> he shouldnt look at this as punishment 15[00:55] <&Anonytensil> he should look at it as an opening of doors [00:55] <~UAanon> dude, it still burns 15[00:55] <&Anonytensil> a window to new experiences and opportunities [00:55] <~UAanon> oh what have I done? 15[00:55] <&Anonytensil> who knows what is possible now [00:55] <DeadBabies> thats what you get for not using any lube 15[00:55] <&Anonytensil> did you find your prostrate? [00:56] <~UAanon> prostate, and yes. 15[00:56] <&Anonytensil> oh good 15[00:56] <&Anonytensil> well that mystery is solved 15[00:56] <&Anonytensil> and now you know [00:56] <dhdcnr> Three days later he's passed out on the floor surrounded my empty boxes of markers. [00:56] <dhdcnr> my -> by 15[00:56] <&Anonytensil> hahah
See also
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Poop.mov is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |