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User:JanisJoplin/Sandbox
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>JanisJoplin at 09:22, 11 May 2022. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
| Hello there, JanisJoplin. Welcome to your Sandbox! | |
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The sandbox is a great place for You to practice and improve your wiki markup and general editing skills. Please take note anyone can still edit your Sandbox. You shouldn't worry that much about that and on the bright side, it encourages collaboration and improvement.
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Damage |
• | Tank |
• | Support |
Damage
- Mei - Designed for trolling, Mei's chubby ass is used to weaken her enemies before her teammates come in to finish them off. Mei's ice gun slows down her target and if frozen long enough, locks them in place for a short period, allowing Mei to get some cheeky hits in before her prey escapes. She can build a Shit Wall of China with her ice gun to block off any exit for her enemies (or her teammates if you're feeling devilish), and if she wants to pussy out of an attack she can encase herself in solid ice which heals her injuries and turns her invulnerable until she thaws out. If this all sounds a little too unfair to fight and brimming with potential to piss off teammates and enemies alike, you're right. Her ice wall specifically is the bane of some players existences, as it not only lasts way too long, but can also be used for players to place out-of-reach teleporters to get an unfair flank. Mei is for fat fetishists, and is usually chosen by people who are looking to do a little bit of trolling.
- Pharah - An Egyptian slave who uses a jet to shoot explosives at her enemies from up above. With her country of origin being an Islamic country, she's clearly a jihadist rip off, very racist of the developer not to properly respect these people with their due "Allahu Akbar". Pharah has the ability to fly along with a rocket launcher, and her ultimate ability which unleashes a rocket barrage onto her enemies. Her simplistic kit makes her a nightmare to fight as she can dodge anything you throw at her while her splash-damage rockets chip away at your health. Pharah is for 12 year old boys, and is usually chosen by people who choose the most expensive item on the menu, and then refuse to pay the bill.
- Reaper - Blizzard finally replied to my emails and added my super cool edgy OC, Reaper the darkflame shadow master. He's got two shotguns that he replaces instead of reloading, a teleport ability that takes way too long to use, and a phase mode where he can run to and from a fight without being hurt. His ultimate is a super cool tornado move where he shoots all the bad guys!!!1! Reaper is for faggots, and is usually chosen by people who are trying too hard to be cool and different.
- Soldier: 76 - Similar to Cassidy, Solider 76 is widely disliked because he's designed to be close-range, but any monkey can spam his weaponry and snipe someone in the distance. Instead of a pathetic little revolver, 76 uses a giant machine gun that can shoot rockets, drop a healing grenade, and for its ultimate you gain temporary aim assist. 76 players are seen as newbies who spam their way victory. Soldier 76 is for Soyboys, and is usually chosen by people who claim they're the best at something, only to fuck it up and blame it on someone else.
- Sombra - Now weebs and 12 year old xbox live enthusiasts can pretend they're hackers by playing as this mexican bitch for a juan-ce in a lifetime experience.
- Symmetra - Nigga from India who quit her technical support day job for this shit. She can put down turrets and give allies shields. She is the bane of any offense hero trying to push, because her turrets also slow their asses down. Bonus points if you place your teleporter near a ledge, and behold lulz.
- Torbjörn - If you are wondering how unoriginal a game was going to get then wonder no fucking more. This is again, a guy with a fucking turret, like we haven't seen that shit before, then he is also Swedish to add in that cliche shit about how Swedish people used to be blacksmiths. A midget with the typical shit Swedish beard (how unoriginal are we going to fucking get) and can build turrets. Original ideas are fucking unoriginal says Overwatch.
- Tracer - Fucking cunt that is in the cover because of feminist propaganda. The size of her ass has actually been an issue for contention which shows how little fuck you should be giving about this stupid fucking game. Her abilities are teleporting, cunt and being unoriginal as fuck. She is literally a copy and paste of Scout from Team Fortress 2, most 2D personality you will fucking meet, she is fast and ????????. CAVLARY'S HERE then you instant cringe to fucking death from how bad that British accent was. Also the main source of many of the drama related to this game as it will be explained below.
(Humorously, she's able to kick the Scout's ass without using any actual fucking skill)HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
- Widowmaker - French cunt who is too busy trying to empower feminists with her killing her husband bullshit, she doesn't have any discernible character other than describing about how she was scared of fucking spiders which somehow carried into how she said she was brainwashed by Bad Overwatch....???? what? Gave some edgy fucking speech about how satisfying it is to kill people, oh you are so edgy gurl, you feel satisfied from killing people, woe is me, imma terrified. She was rightfully nerfed for being a noob cunt that kills people without aiming.
Tank
- Reinhardt - German oldfag that was lost on the way to retirement home and jumped into an experimental Nazi warmachine, constantly has his barrier field out while all his bitch teammates who can't kill for shit cowers behind him so they can make use of the pussy barrier to get noob kills. He can charge into people.
- Roadhog - It's a fucking miracle he is even moving but the breathing mask probably explains it. He can pull bitches towards him with a chain, also overpowered as fuck and used by noobs, an universal representation of the average gamer.
- D.Va - A Korean professional girl gamer and Hollywood actress that turned unto mech rider. Stupid, retarded and completely out of the realm of possibility you say? Well, Overwatch is here to test your bullshit tolerance, right now you are asking yourself how the flying fuck a no life cunt who lives in her mother's basement managed to grasp the concept of piloting an intricate mecha and is not fat as fuck, Overwatch says thinking is for the weak. Her mecha is shit like all China made product so it explodes instantly after you get hit (not really) then you will have to kill this sneaky cunt twice, which also leads to the question how the fuck can someone who live in their mother's basment have enough combat physique to take even one shot. Well, Overwatch says, fuck you that's why.a pistol that can do more damage than the mech itself. Her ultimate ability is turning your battleground into South Korea after North Korea finish their weapon development. Running away from a nuke is as effective as running away from a nuke so don't even bother avoiding it, just turn on your godmode hack and kill that cunt. She is also overpowered and should rightfully be nerfed but as said, Overwatch is dominated by noobs and children so the cycle continues with noobs using overpowered weapon to kill people.
Support
- Zenyatta - A robot monker who preaches personal interaction with people by killing people with his metal balls, developers attempt to be culturally integral, fails badly. While he is the most fragile piece of garbage in the game with an average heal, he more than makes up for it by shooting an Orb of Discord at you, which increases the damage an enemy takes. If he's good, he will absolutely assrape your team, or scare you so badly you have to hide behind the wall like a bitch. For his ultimate ability, he drops acid while taking them so he can "experience tranquility".
- Lucio - HUEHUEHUEBRBR A typical Brazilian gangster that killed families and before deciding to join Overwatch to avoid getting arrested. Rides around on gay rollerblades while blasting shit fucking hip-hop. He's the standard healer pick of just about every team because said rap can heal everyone constantly or make them move faster. He can switch between these abilities at will AND can give his teammates shields fairly often, which makes him and anyone he's near incredibly annoying to kill. As if that wasn't enough, he can fart into the microphone on his futuristic boom box and send out a blast of sound that you think might be shockwave but it's actually hip-hop so fucking shit that any faggots whose cells even comes in contact with it automatically repels from it.
- Ana - Older sandnigger (who is that other sandnigger with explosive's bitch mother) terrorist with mediocre heals and low DPS. She doesn't have explosives like her daughter but she does have a sniper that heals her team (how?), because what kind of fucking genius couldn't come up with this kind of idea in real life? Shooting a dart into your team to heal them. Why isn't there a RPG that heals too? HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NUKE THAT HEALS PEOPLE?
- Mercy - German medic - ORIGINAL CHARACTER, DO NOT STEAL. Also known as "Healslut" in the community because of her fast healing, but then again, she can only target one person at a time which makes Lucio superior (a man being superior at something than a woman? Go fucking figure). Has a damage boost as well, but if you're using it then you're not healing, so only retards ever switch to it. Her ultimate revives all nearby dead teammates, but the only way to use it is to completely fail at your only job. Duly noted to be actually Swiss but there is no difference because we know Switzerland supported the Nazis. She is a medic, go fucking figure, why don't you just give her a white flag to play off her French descent some more.