The colonization of America

EPIC WIN

Some time ago the Benevolent Columbus stumbled upon a backwater continent while searching for spice. When word got back to Europe that there were poor natives living in a faraway land the Europeans selflessly took it upon their shoulders to help spread peace, happiness, and Christianity to the primitives, thoroughly succeeding. The Indians had too much gold, so the civilized countries helped them out by taking some of that useless gold off their hands. The Indians were forever grateful for the assistance they received, and now enjoy a booming casino business as well as cheap cigarettes.

An Alternate View

Even though at least 100 million Indians have been killed since Columbus took his boat to India, this wasn't an act of terror because terrorism was invented 10 years ago. Freedom — the word and everything, though — was invented (and ©, ®, ™, patented — too) at that time.

An Objective View

A white settler engages in trade negotiations with a savage Indian.

Second only to Australia and Sheepfucktardland the Americas was the latest continent to be incorporated into the Global Network of Human Relations. This achievement allowed for higher peaks of Human Civizilation, like Cigarettes, Chocolate, and plenty of loli with the only downside of syphilis - a very small price to pay for so much win. It is to be noted that the Native Americans benefited just as much getting to know the delights of alcohol and freedom for the first time in their pathetic history. Experts note that had Europeans never contacted the Injuns they would have continued fighting each other senselessly to their own extinction, however now their numbers, though mixed with better genes, grow exponentially thanks to Caucasian inventions such as Pharmaceuticals.

A Butthurt, Victim`s Complex View

Apparently some Injuns are STILL TO THIS DAY SAD over the fact the white man is occupying their land. The following video attests to this naive view.

	“	Christians Murdered Indians!!.... As you commit cultural genocide, Christians came and the natives they did hang 13 at a time for Jesus and his gang! We are the ones you had to dehumanize ,so your murder and greed could be justified. The belly of the church is full With the blood of all those heathen fools who would not receive the gift of Christ? So we burned them as a sacrifice To our baby killing god above...	„
	— an emoish song by an angry Indian

White people pwning Indians as a lulzy past time in the good, old days of colonial America!

The only appropriate response to the such a self-victimizing, nonsensical view would be this: you Indians got pwned by the white man and that`s history. That's because Indians were part of the game of warfare which they lost. Stop dwelling in the past by being a poor sport and using that as a pathetic justification for all the welfare you mooch from the Canadian and, to a lesser extent, American society because most people who aren`t affected by liberal guilt are getting SICK OF IT like a piece of turd tightly glued in somebody's anus! For example, people who even have as little as 1/8th or 1/16th Indian ancestry can get a considerable amount of their post-secondary education paid for by the Canadian government. In this case, the government uses HARD-EARNED TAX DOLLARS from hard-working, often poor and struggling families, to pay for their university textbooks. The main reason most people don't know about that little secret is because most part-Indian descendent people are humble enough to not mooch of the overly generous government welfare anymore than their full-Indian relatives do.

The victim's card North American Indians try to use to soak up liberal guilt for free shit is a pathetic double-standard because many other "non-white" groups have been similarly persecuted in the past like the blacks who were brutally exploited as slaves. Yet the government doesn't cater to them nearly as kindly as Indians, so in conclusion STOP THIS VICTIM'S CARD "OH THE WHITE MAN IS STILL OCCUPYING MY LAND SO I CAN LIVE OFF WELFARE" BULLSHIT! They should get their lazy asses off their reservations and get a job like everyone else or GTFO!