Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Tampon-Masturbation

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search

Tampon-Masturbation, one of the wonderful members of dA, is quite simply a sick fuck (if her screenname didn’t tip you off by now). At 19 years of age, her likes include drawing pictures of Spongebob Characters as underaged teens being sodomized by teachers and exploring their sexuality in gratuitously sickening fanfics. Like all yaoi fans, instead of creating her own characters to abuse, she instead decides to disregard the canon of various things and turn the male characters she wants to fuck into mockeries of their former selves. Because if there’s any way to show respect for the existence of your favourite anime, cartoon, manga, or book, it’s to disregard the hard work put into forming a canon and write dreadful gay porn about it.

File:OLD FUCK by Tampon Masturbation.jpg
What a looker.
   
“ 		 
The one night stand you don't want to forget.
  		„
  		 

—Tampon Masturbation, You keep thinking that, hon.


File:FINALLY Made an ID by Tampon Masturbation.jpg
She's very humble about her appearance, too.

Kill it With Fire

Tamps is your typical case of GOTIS, afflicted severely with a state of mind that leads her to believe talking about sex lots and using big swear words to describe things makes her really rebellious and cool, when in fact everyone on the internet who does that is actually a 13 year old boy. But of course, she needs attention in any way she can get it, and thus also claims that she was sexually abused as a kid. Of course! Being horribly mishandled would make you want to write sexy fanfics about brutal rapes, seeing how much you enjoyed yours.

Amazingly, she uses it as her defense when people point out that shota rapefics are kinda disgusting and horrible. “I was molested! So it’s ok, I understand how horrible it is!” The day she gets caught fondling an underaged boy I’m sure she’ll crack that one as well, because it’s so reasonable, who could argue with it?

But who are we kidding, it’s pretty evident that no one would ever hit that.

File:Dsdushadas.png
In which she wants to fuck dead people.

Her sexual inexperience is obvious, and as pitiable as her ‘art’. Tamps seems to have an obsession with sex and underage boys, to the point where she takes normal characters from pre-established series and twist them to fit her own disgusting fetishes, as she has not an ounce of creativity in her ample, quivering, gelatinous body. She's also confessed to wanting to become a mortician so people 'wouldn't fuck with her' and so she's have the added bonus of being able to bone the bodies, as seen in a cap to the right. That's tamps for you! Getting all the sex ever, but she still is desperate enough to take a flacid, rotting, maggot infested dick in the snatch. It's questionable as to whether she's ever actually had sex, because no real woman who has ever taken a dick to the ass would ever describe it as 'pretty amazing', or list 'fisting' casually as one of their favourite things. What it appears is that she thinks talking about sex will somehow make her lose her virginity, which seems to also be an affliction most of 4chan has.

Fun Facts

File:Tampstamps.png
Cool hypocrisy bro
  • She lists some of her likes as 'Anal sex, fisting, and cocksucking'. Apparently she'll take it anywhere, because it's so hard to get for her.
  • She doesn't like the Spongebob fandom anymore, jeez. Now she just writes Hetalia slash, including a serious story about Canada being mauled and raped by Polar Bears.
  • She appears to weigh about 250 pounds, but draws herself as slim with nice ol titties.
  • She 'hates her work' but yet keeps posting it for the asspattings her small dedicated fanbase always throw at her.
  • She couldn't understand why her underage shota porn fics were removed from dA.
  • She handles criticism by pretending to be super hXc and not caring but most likely takes a steak knife to her jiggling wrists and cries
  • She's attending college, by some miracle.
  • She's written over 90 fanfictions.
  • Probably a furry.
  • Apparently loves yuri as much as yaoi, like but like all internet bisexuals only pays attention to the opposite sex.
  • She has original characters do not steal. They're all gimp shotas.


Beware all ye who enter

Pure Unadulterated Shit About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Literature

Tamps fancies herself somewhat of a writer, and is one of those delightful sorts who wastes their minimal talent on disturbingass porn.

 
“ 		 
"Poking Leads to Pregnancy Extract

SpongeBob gasped, blushing modestly. "I . . . um . . . okay . . ." It had been so long since they'd . . . well, ever since this whole pregnancy thing, Patrick hadn't even wanted to sleep in the same room, let alone together. . .

And just like that, there he was, pressed up against him, water and bubbles sloshing all over the floor. And when they kissed . . . well, it was like they hadn't been having any problems. Like they'd never been apart. And when SpongeBob saw Patrick pull something silver out from behind his back, he figured it was just some kind of toy to kink up their relationship.

Until Patrick bent SpongeBob over the ledge of the tub, holding him still by the stomach, kicking his legs apart, spread beyond the comfort zone.

And the silver thing turned out to be a wire hanger, unbent into a straight line. Now SpongeBob knew he was naïve about all this sex stuff, but he really didn't think most people used a tool such as this to reach climax.

"Patrick, what are you doing?" He shivered, cold metal poised at his entrance. He tried prying Patrick's hand away, unable to prevent him from continuing.

"I'm ripping that thing out of you," Patrick growled, gripping harder at SpongeBob's belly. "See? I made this baby-killing stick to get the job done."

"Patrick, don't!" He tried moving, unable to overpower the much larger male. "You're scaring me!"
 

„
 

WOW

Gallery of Lulz


DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING

For some odd and entirely un-troll related reason, a week or two after people started expressing their displeasure with Tamps on her old account it was deleted and replaced with a new one (link is below) in a snakesnoggerish attempt to leave behind the atrocities of her past. She's also now cleaned out her FF.net account, but the lingering scent of shit still remains. My dear, you should know by now that once it is on the internet it is there to stay. The gallery on dA currently only holds some of her newer stuff, but hey gurl, this ED is here to stay and remind you of how godawful you are.



External Links

*  tampon-masturbation Go nuts, ladies and gents.

  •   perfectlymaple OH WHAT A SURPRISE AFTER BEING TROLLED SUDDENLY A NEW ACCOUNT??
  • tamps on ff.net Sweet jesus seriously strap your balls in for the ride because that shit is NIGHTMARE MATERIAL
 

Tampon-Masturbation is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Tampon-Masturbation&oldid=328459"