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PieAreSquare

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A member of a crack team of elite arch-weeaboos, PieAreSquare grew up in an environment tragically bereft of Japanese culture and was forced to teach himself the language through a combination of reading discarded Pocky boxes and imagining what it was probably like. Having won every cosplay pageant and vidyagame tournament in the Western world, he was found tragically trolled to death by everyone he has ever come into contact with in his life. House signed the death certificate.

Coming soon, behind a bush near you...

As women would rather touch an electric fence than a weeaboo, PieAreSquare had died with the perpetual erection that followed him throughout his life. Because of this, he was kept around the giant hollowed-out volcano in the Caribbean with Joseph Evers' face carved into it where ED's servers are kept, and used to hang donuts, fashionable trilbys and other inconvenient objects that needed to be kept out of reach.

In 2007, dramatic advances in the field of anal reconstruction made it possible to salvage the shell of the creature which had previously inhabited it. The being known as PieAreSquare now is merely a hollow mannequin with no ego, no survival instincts and no emotions apart from an enormous e-crush on Girlvinyl implanted by ED's evil scientists. This makes him untrollable, unquestioning and very easy to push around, and therefore perfect sysop material.

Today he moves mechanistically from victim to victim, and only the tears he involuntarily sheds betray the last vestiges of what he once was. lol anime reference

Evil

PieAreSquare is the creative genius behind many, many brilliant and witty articles. When he is not working unpaid overtime for a job that pays under minimum wage, he takes care of This Month In Lulz.

PieAreSquare
is part of a series on
the former regimes

 

Corporate Shill Branch GirlvinylJacknstockKillhamsterPink PoodleSheneequaThedreadedkettleZaigerConrad Alan RockenhausAediotUmkemesikMarioMario456
Unwitting Pawn Branch Blu AardvarkBURKCrazyconanEd LolingtonkaleKazantzakisOnideusOtterWhiskersQuasidanRiboflavinSchnookumsTfoShardDaxvanffVerminwattageweevWKDWhiteMysteryZenophile
Angry Patriot Ghost Branch AlGoreAndrewpantsOldDirtyBtardRubberducyiri
See Also Encyclopedia DramaticaEpic BattleJoseph EversMysteryBotOhInternetSelloutSheneequa Turns FourThe War of Zaiger Aggression